Arranged
by Inuzuka Notori
Summary: The Fujino and Kuga Dojos made a contract to marry their heirs once both were 18. The only problem is: Shizuru has been looking forward to this day since she first knew while Natsuki has been dreading it. So, do opposites really attract?
1. The Meeting

****Disclaimer: I do not own Mai HiME nor any of the songs whose titles I used as chapter titles.

**I – The Meeting**

"Come on out Natsuki! I bet you'll look great!"

"…Yeah."

The navy-haired girl in question then stepped out of her mostly-unfilled walk in closet and into her room. She stood in front of her busty redheaded friend in a flowing black dress adorned with sapphires. Against her will Natsuki turned to model the piece of clothing before scowling and heading back into the closet and slamming the door.

"Natsuki?" Mai tried to follow but was cut off.

"… I hate this," she grumbled.

"… I know… I'm sorry," the girl said, placing her hand on the door, thinking that in some way she could comfort her friend, "…Do you want to back out?"

"I can't!" Natsuki yelled, slamming her fist against the other side of the door, which she was leaning her back against to rest uneasily.

"It was my mother's wish… she left it up to me to be the heir, I have to fulfill that no matter what."

Mai sighed. There really was no arguing with this girl once her mother was involved or when that sticky pride of hers showed itself. She understood and even respected why Natsuki was doing this, even if the logical part of her said that her friend should just do whatever it takes to make herself happy. She sighed again as she heard the doorbell ring, knowing full well who it was and opening the front door against her better judgement.

"Oi oi!" the other redhead called as she burst into the room, accidently slamming Mai into the wall with the back of the door, "Oh crap, are you okay!?"

"Ugh… yes Nao… I'm fine…" Mai groaned while rubbing her nose and heading upstairs to Natsuki's room.

"Okay where's the blushing groom!?" the lime-eyed girl said with a wolfish grin, aware that this would probably cause some object to be thrown at her in anger, today it was a high heeled shoe.

"Ow!"

"Damn it Nao I'm pissed off enough as it is!"

"And?"

Natsuki gave her a blank look as she peeked out of the closet.

"And you always seem to make my day worse."

"Hey! I resent that!" she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest and sliding a bag across the floor with her foot, away from Natsuki.

"Fine then, I brought you the clothes you wanted but I guess I'll just keep them for myself."

"What!? No! Come back!" the navy-haired girl yelled, racing out of the room at a frightening speed, nearly tripping over her dress and lunging at the bag that contained her favourite casual wear.

"Why'd you bring her that?!" Mai whined.

"It took me forever to find her a dress she'd realistically go with and now you've gone and ruined it!"

Meanwhile, when these two were arguing playfully, Natsuki took some much needed shelter in the closet. She sat with her back against the door like usual and dropped the bag of clothes beside her, curling her knees to her chest and hugging herself. She gave the opposite wall an empty gaze, allowing her thoughts to crawl around her brain.

"Some birthday…" she muttered, "It must be really low to have my only wish be that someone else finds this just as miserable a situation as I do…"

Groaning, the biker stood up and quickly undressed before redressing in her jeans, t-shirt, and leather jacket. Without a second thought, she left the closet in a huff, passing by both Mai and Nao.

"Hey, Kuga wait!"

"Can't, I just wanna get this over with," she mumbled, grabbing her bike helmet and keys from the floor and heading out to the front foyer.

"Natsuki, seriously! Even if you're thinking of this as no more than a business transaction you can't go dressed like that."

"Sorry Mai," she said as she slipped on her running shoes, "It would be really easy if I could think of it as that… but I can't help but see it as a marriage. Sharing a life with someone... That's just the kinda person I am."

The older redhead reached out to her friend just as the door shut behind her, cutting them apart. Mai sighed and looked over at Nao who was passing the awkward moment by checking out her nails; an old nervous habit.

"I wonder if she'll be alright…"

"Don't worry, Kuga's tough, or at least pretends to be well enough not to let it bother her."

Mai chuckled.

"I meant her fiancée."

-0-

At the same time as Natsuki had been expressing her dread towards marriage to her friends, the nineteen year old Fujino heiress was doing just the opposite. Shizuru had woken up today with a bright smile, despite her lack of sleep due to excitement, and began hustling about trying to get dressed. By mid-morning her two best friends had arrived to help her, even though the bride-to-be had it all covered.

"I can't believe it's today!" she gushed.

"I finally get to meet my Natsuki!"

"I'm happy for you," the boy said enthusiastically, despite being forced to stare into a corner since his female friend was in the process of changing.

"You've been waiting a long time for this haven't you?" the blonde asked.

"Mm," Shizuru nodded, "I wonder what she'll sound like..."

She stared down at a photo her parents had given her. Each year since she was told of the arrangement, she was given an updated photograph of the girl she was to marry, and incidentally began to fall in love with it. Her parents too had delivered pictures to the Kuga family, but Natsuki only cared to look once.

"I bet she'll be perfect," Reito said with a smile, "Your parents would of course only choose the most suitable of prospects anyways."

Haruka laughed, smacking him upside the head, and Shizuru let out a giggle.

"Aren't you a tad biased to that comment considering you were their first choice?"

Upon hearing a minute signal that they were finished with the dressing part, the boy turned back around and revealed his sheepish grin.

"Guilty, although that wasn't my intention behind mentioning it. Truly, there are no hard feelings about my rejection."

"Glad to hear it, as I'd hate to lose a valuable friend over something like this. If it's any consolation you would probably be my preference... if men at all were my preference," she gave him a wink and a friendly kiss on the cheek before heading out of her room.

"Will you two be joining me?"

"We can't, sorry. Important meeting back at the house. We just came to wish you luck and help you get ready," the blonde replied and Reito nodded in agreement.

Shizuru let out a reluctant sigh, wanting to give into her inner child and simply drag them by the hand to her own meeting but deciding against. Instead she gave them a polite and happy smile in return for their troubles of coming to visit this morning. After thanking them one last time, the radiant girl left her room and went for the front doors of her mansion where her limousine was ready to pick her up. A servant opened the door for her and she gave him a gentle nod of gratitude before sitting down on the comfy seats.

_I'm so nervous... I can't believe today's the day..._

-0-

Close to an hour later, Shizuru was anxiously sitting in her father's office; tapping her fingers against the back of her hand. She tried to calm herself with deep breaths, but her heart was racing too fast. The rest of her family, along with their lawyers, were waiting patiently, but when the youngest girl heard quickly approaching footsteps, she simply couldn't hold in her excitement anymore. Just as the door opened and Natsuki burst in, Shizuru stood up with a bright smile.

"Damn your dojo is hard to find..." the roughly clothed girl huffed, "Anyway, you're Shizuru right?"

The stunned teenager simply gave her a raised eyebrow and nodded, and was rather confused with Natsuki's behaviour. Not only had it appeared she put no effort into this at all, she was quite terse and down to business.

_She does have a beautiful voice though..._

"Y-yes I am, please come and sit down Natsuki."

The navy-haired girl remained both standing and silent, closing her eyes and hoping for some strength. She knew she was being a jerk, both intentionally and not, but mostly because every step closer to this she got, the worse she felt about her future. Half of her wanted to charge right into it, which is how she was able to approach so fast, but now that she stood here, she wanted to either freeze or run.

"Kuga-san, are you alright?" the lawyer asked, setting out the papers for her to sign.

"...Not particularly," Natsuki sighed as she looked at them, "I guess I'm doing this voluntarily because I'm _choosing_ to respect my mother's last wish... but make no mistake, that's the _only_ reason why I'm doing this."

_Please... my only hope is if you call it off..._

Shizuru was stuck in her form, frozen it seemed by shock and a powerful poison flowing into her veins. It stung her, deeply, the words from this girl.

"You... haven't been waiting for me?" she hesitantly asked, however without revealing her inner sorrow.

"Sorry, I mean, have you? This was arranged by our parents, not our choice."

"... I see."

_Come on! Call me an ass and kick me out!_

"Shizuru-chan," her father placed a palm on his daughter's shoulder, "Due to certain... traits, coming to light, do you still wish to continue?"

The older girl's crimson eyes, though glistening with moisture, gazed up at her betrothed. She studied her, like a foreign artifact; something beautiful yet untouchable and that was part of the charm. Shizuru instinctively crossed one leg over the other and folded her hands together on her knee, blinking once to rid herself of the tears and think on this. While not rash like the Kuga girl, she too was a force to be reckoned with, and much to Natsuki's dismay her behaviour only intrigued the girl more. Undoubtedly Shizuru was hurt that this wasn't her dream come true, and she would admit that to anyone who asked, but she loved a unique situation nearly as much as her fantasy Natsuki.

Shizuru stood up and took a deep breath, looking into emerald eyes. Again she observed their every movement; trying to look deep into her soul. Powerful though she may be, she was not unkind, any sense that this would be hopeless and she would turn back. If Natsuki truly showed no signs of being open to this, the Fujino heiress would bow out gracefully.

"... Tell me Natsuki, how do you feel when I tell you I have been waiting for this since I was first told? That every picture that was sent to me was treasured?" she asked, only to get a confused and annoyed look in response.

"I don't really care..."

"I see, and of the five years this has been arranged, how many times have you bothered to look at my pictures?"

"Huh? I dunno... Once? Maybe Twice?"

Shizuru watched Natsuki's features as she spoke. Even though the words were harsh, they had only struck once because she was off guard. Now that the elder of the two was aware of the girl's bite, she dodged with finesse. Her emotions tiptoed around the tone, holding onto the interesting facial expression she was making. Even if there was frustration in her eyes, there was a light rose coloured tint in her skin; one which Shizuru subconsciously compared to the pictures she had been shown. The chestnut-haired girl closed her eyes and smirked.

_Not hopeless... she showed interest. Not to mention,_ This time her crimson eyes seemed to observe the girl in a more intimate way, _My instincts are never wrong._

"No Father, we will continue with the proceedings," she said with a smile, "I am sorry this is not what you wished for, but as you said, this is our parents' wills and we must do our best to honour that."

The navy-haired girl clenched her fist around the pen in her hand. Her plan had backfired, which unfortunately made her anger all the more honest. She watched as Shizuru went to sign the appropriate papers, confirming their engagement. In truth, they already were, but if the Fujino's chose to rip up the papers from when Kuga Saeko was alive then Natsuki wouldn't stop them. But now, since it was clear they wanted this, Natsuki was already bound by contract to sign this new one.

In a swift final marking, the girl had signed all she was required to; including the marriage licence, the contract to get married in less than ten months, and the one that declared they would live together starting immediately.

"Done," she grunted, "It's official... We're getting married... Even though I never met you before today and have no idea _who _you are!" she practically threw her arms into the air in exasperation then stormed out.

She didn't care that she didn't know where to go after this, and honestly had no intention of spending her birthday at this new house. The navy-haired girl hurried out the front, opening her cell phone and hitting speed dial six.

"Hey, get yourself together, we're going to a club."

"I take it you're angry?" Nao replied on the other end of the line.

"But well, I don't blame you."

"I just want a normal eighteenth birthday! Is that so much to ask!?"

"Hey! Don't yell at me! I'm meeting you there geez, Kagayaki right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, it's settled, I'll meet you there."

The two closed their phones and got into their respective vehicles, driving towards the ice-themed nightclub. Even though the real crowd wouldn't be there until later, it was still open as a restaurant, and Natsuki had nowhere better to be.

-0-

Meanwhile, all but one in the Fujino office was bewildered by the newest addition to their family. Adults hid themselves in a circle, while Shizuru stood, still staring at the hallway which Natsuki had gone through. A smirk crossed her features.

_My dear Natsuki, it is true that you do not know me. I stand by my statement: if you truly were a lost cause I would not have done this. However..._

She smiled.

_You are promising indeed, and despite what you say, will not be closed to love... not my love._


	2. An Unlikely Pair

**II – An Unlikely Pair**

"So? You did it?" Nao asked over the booming music before taking another sip of her drink.

She placed it back down in the table with a clink and leaned on the foamy back of the booth. The girl placed her arms behind her head, acting like a pillow as she relaxed and looked over at her friend. Natsuki was much tenser than Nao, even if she only showed it by solemnly staring at her half empty glass and shaking the liquid around in it slowly. Her emerald eyes radiated exhaustion. They hadn't been out for that long, but this day was one of the girl's hardest to endure.

_The only thing worse was what he left us… or Okaa-san's accident…_

Of course, when she subconsciously compared the situations it only served to further her depression. She sighed and placed her palm up on her forehead.

"Yeah... not like it's a big deal though... At least not to everyone else except me," she grit her teeth.

"I mean, look at me Nao, am I really the ideal person?"

"No," she responded bluntly with a grin.

"Heh, you answered that too quickly for my liking," she sighed again.

"Anyways, you're right, I'm far from it... So why is it that I seem to be the only one who treats something as sappy as marriage with any dignity? It wasn't like I planned to marry anyone else and this gets in my way, but I still feel like I have to play the role properly. That's the downside to this. I'm not getting a business partner, I'm getting a wife and therein lies the trouble, I'm not responsible enough to take care of another person and I don't even want to be!" she slammed the table.

"But I can't bail! If I do I'll be just like-"

"Like Ryuue?" Nao finished, having put her teasing aside for the time being.

"I don't blame you for feeling like that. It's pretty logical."

"This is just so... messed up... I don't want to care about this, but because of something I had no say in I'm forced to feel like my worst enemy..." she took a large gulp of her drink.

"It's not even her fault, but I'm gonna end up taking it out on her."

"Who? Fujino?"

"Yeah. I mean, okay, she's a bit... weird... her personality switches way too easily to be someone of total stability but whatever, but I can't really judge her. Still, I bet she's a nice enough person and now she's stuck with me just as much as I'm stuck with her," she called the waitress over and ordered another drink.

"Do I detect a hint of empathy?" Nao asked with a sly grin, prompting the girl opposite her to sneer.

"Don't make it sound so dumb! I'm just saying that I don't know who she is, living with her is gonna be a stretch..." she took the beverage that was delivered to her.

"She could be nice, but she could very well be a pain... And now that I think about it, it probably will be a pain. I didn't expect her to actually be looking forward to this! I think she seriously likes me!"

Nao sighed.

"That is troublesome... she knows you don't right?"

"Yeah, I told her. But it just adds to the whole mess. Not like I'm homophobic or anything, hell I'm friends with you," she chuckled at Nao rolling her eyes, "But I won't ever feel that way about her, and then it's just another loveless marriage."

"Okay, so what do you hate more? Being forced into this or the possibility of turning into Ryuue?"

"Both I guess..."

"Yeah but I said which more?"

"Turning into him, I guess is what's worse... But it doesn't justify being roped into this! I don't even know why my mother would do that without telling me. I only found out I was supposed to marry their heir after she died... and Ryuue won't answer whenever I try getting in touch with him to find out."

Nao shifted her position to lean forward onto the table, deep in thought.

"Maybe it was the only way. I'm not saying Saeko-san was able to foresee her accident, that'd be weird, but as a precaution she did this, knowing you couldn't count on Ryuue for support. This way she was sure you would be in the hands of a successful business."

Natsuki stirred her glass again.

"Maybe. Who knows? It doesn't really matter anymore since I've already made the commitment. Argh, I don't even know where the place is. Can I crash with you tonight?"

Nao nodded.

"Thanks."

-0-

"What the hell!?" Haruka bellowed as she practically kicked down Shizuru's door and ran in.

"She did what!?"

Shizuru wasn't particularly stunned by this. She knew it was only a matter of time before parents spoke to each other and Haruka would find out about Natsuki's behaviour in the office earlier. That paired with her knowledge of her friend's temper from previous experience, the girl was perfectly content sitting in her living room sipping tea and leaving the blondee standing rather anti-climactically in the foyer.

_Three... Two... One..._

"Haruka..." Reito huffed as he caught up, bent over and holding himself up on his knees, "Couldn't you have at least waited for me?"

"You're too slow!" she barked, playfully smacking him on the back, albeit with quite a bit of force.

"But you're getting better!"

"Now now, Haruka, it's hardly fair to leave your husband behind," Shizuru finally spoke up, looking over at her pair of friends.

"I assume you both heard about the incident at my engagement?"

"Yeah! Where the hell is this girl! I'm gonna pound her until she realizes how thankful she is to be marrying you!"

Shizuru sighed; this was clearly going to take some work.

"One, I happen to love that girl so please no beating her; and two, she isn't here yet. I assume since she left in such a huff she's spending the night elsewhere."

"Do you think she ran for good?" Reito asked sincerely as he sat down on the couch next to her. He was about to reach out to comfort her when he noticed her odd expression.

_She's smiling?_

"No, she'll be coming back," she said calmly.

"It might take a while, but I know she'll come around... I... trust her..."

"Trust her?" Haruka sighed and sat next to her friend.

"Really Shizuru, she announced she was straight and then stormed off to God knows where. What makes you trust her?"

"... A hunch," she took another sip of her tea, "There are many things about Natsuki that remain a mystery. She may think she's a victim because of this situation but, and while I don't consider myself a victim, I too now am engaged to a stranger. I've fallen in love with her picture and what I imagined her to be like, and now that it's different it _is_ strange."

By now Haruka had calmed down, leaning in a more relaxed position on the sofa. Even though she didn't particularly like where this seemed to be going, she knew deep down that Shizuru was smarter than her; so if she said this would work, she would agree. Still, she couldn't help but worry about her; she was in love with someone who now they knew probably didn't exist. The Natsuki of Shizuru's fantasies wasn't real, and both Haruka and Reito could tell that this was just a mask to keep herself together.

"Would you like us to stay the night?" Reito offered.

"We'll wait with you until she comes back."

Shizuru contemplated the idea. On one hand, she would appreciate support; but on the other, she wanted to stand up to this conflict on her own. Natsuki was her issue, not theirs, and she wanted to spare them her potential breakdown. She smirked inwardly.

_Or rather, it would be troublesome for me to spend the entire night keeping up this ruse..._

"I'll be fine for the night, but could I ask that you come by in the morning?"

"Of course," Reito replied, smiling to comfort her as he stood up, "We'll be here first thing after breakfast."

With that, the young man got to his feet and started walking to the door. He slowed his pace gradually until coming to a complete stop. He was waiting.

"Really Haruka, I'll be fine," Shizuru said, "Go home and relax, you can check on me first thing in the morning."

Despite this, the blonde sat still, persistently pouting at the thought of leaving her friend behind. Being so caught up in her thoughts, she failed to hear the boy's footsteps grow closer and was unprepared for his arms to reach beneath her and lift her. Haruka struggled at first, trying to be put down so she could stay with Shizuru, but after a playful grin the other two flashed at each other, she sighed and gave in.

Crimson eyes watched her two friends exit in each other's arms bitter sweetly; waiting until the door was firmly shut to free her thoughts. With a dark empty stare, Shizuru fell back onto the couch and sighed.

"... Cruel child..." she muttered, a lone tear sliding down her cheek, "... Making me worry about you when you've shown me nothing but malice... How can you? How _dare_ you? Breaking my dreams like that..."

She sighed.

"... Truly a harsh teacher in the lesson of my greatest weakness."

She laid down on her back, clinging to a pillow.

"You've thrown me into confusion and I've only myself to blame... It was wrong to put so much emotion into this... but I couldn't help it," something sparked her, and she smiled again with hope, "I thought it was the way you blushed when you were nervous near me... but no... I've known it since long ago that we were soul mates... And I'm not going to let you slip away."

She fell into a whisper, even though no one else was present, as if she was talking to the biker herself.

"I'll let you know a secret Natsuki..."

_I need you_.

And she drifted off to sleep.

-0-

The next day came faster than expected. Shizuru had fallen asleep on the sofa and was uncharacteristically awoken by the sound of the doorbell with Haruka and Reito outside. The girl scrambled to her feet and tried to smooth out her clothing as best she could, but was still clearly disoriented. As soon as she let them in, despite her usual polite smile keeping her normal, her ruffled hair was not able to escape merciless teasing from the blonde.

"Seriously Shizuru, I've only seen you with messy hair once, and that was an accident..."

"Ara? What should I do then?"

Haruka sighed.

"Either be more careful... or lighten up and let it get messed more often... I vote for the second one by the way."

"Me too," Reito said, smiling despite Shizuru's groan and face palming.

"At least give me a few minutes to change-" she was cut off by the sound of a roaring engine.

Turning around, the girl was caught off guard by the sight of a midnight mane falling out of a helmet.

"Natsuki..."

Said girl hadn't yet looked in the direction of the house, but judging from her expression was none too thrilled about it. A part of Shizuru had hoped her mind would change overnight, but she was too logical to realistically expect that of her fiancée. Natsuki clasped her helmet back onto the bike and lifted a medium sized duffel bag off the back and over her shoulder. She still hadn't even gazed up at the house yet, even as she walked forward, putting her keys in her pocket; it was clear she was purposely trying to avoid the eyes that watched her intently. Gritting her teeth as she finally made it to the top of the porch stairs, now a mere foot from Shizuru, who was partially blocking the door. Wincing, she finally looked up and stared her destiny straight in the face, then pushed it aside rather roughly to get inside and find her room.

Just as Natsuki thought she was safe, a loud annoying yell hit her like a sledgehammer.

"Just what do you think you're doing?!" Haruka barked.

"Treating Shizuru like this! You should be-"

"What?" the navy-haired girl asked bluntly; the part of her that wanted to run had run, and now all that was left was her instinct to fight.

"Tell me. What should I be doing? You don't even know who I am so don't try to tell me what to do!"

"That's fine because I don't give a damn who you are!" Haruka retorted.

"I don't care who it is, anyone who hurts Shizuru is gonna have to deal with me!"

"Hurt? Don't you tell me about hurt!" Natsuki screamed, now in full rage, having been prodded too many times in the past two days.

"Haruka please..." Shizuru tried to enter the fray but was ignored.

"I don't care if you're hurt by this, but so is she! And she wasn't even the one who hurt you! If you're gonna be shouting at anyone it should be your mother for getting you into this-!"

Emerald eyes shot wide open and Natsuki's body reacted purely in instinct; reaching out and grabbing the blonde's shirt collar and dragging her closer. The navy-haired girl bore her fangs as she spoke.

"Don't you ever... speak about my mother," and without another word she let go and turned away from Haruka, leaving her to be collected on her own.

The blonde wasn't one to be easily intimidated, especially by someone she already deemed inferior to herself. In any case, Natsuki retreated to the upstairs where she found a small bedroom; clearly for guests. She shut the door in anger and threw her bag across the room, letting it hit the wall and land on the bed. Natsuki paced around her room, looking for something to hit, or trying to find the courage to scream no matter who would hear. The girl had intended for a quiet return, hoping to slip between the cracks.

"But no! She had to gang up on me! Bring over her friends! Damn it, what is this? An intervention?" she finally swung herself around and delivered a clean back-kick to the chair in the corner.

Its back shattered and the rest of the pieces rolled across the floor, leaving Natsuki to breathe in silence.

Apparently this was all it needed to calm her to a stable mentality. She was able to breathe slowly now, losing the energy to fight and sinking into the floor.

-0-

"Haruka please, stop fuming," Reito begged, holding his wife by the shoulders to keep her from chasing after Natsuki, "Give her some space."

"Tch!"

"You were also out of line," he said, "Bringing Kuga-san's mother into this wasn't fair."

"I know okay I know! It just... gets me so angry!"

These two continued to wrestle verbally, gradually becoming quieter, while Shizuru was still standing off to the side. Her friend had fought a battle for her, but somewhere she wondered if there would have been one. Maybe if she had gotten to the girl first there wouldn't have been such an explosive conflict.

"I think it's best if you cleared your head Haruka," she finally said, "As grateful as I am that you stepped up for me, it is not good for anyone when you get so excited."

"I agree," Reito said with a nod, "We'll come back another time and leave Kuga-san to you. I'm sorry about this Shizuru."

"It's not a problem; I simply fear it may become one if they were to butt heads again."

Against her initial will, Reito managed to bring Haruka back to the driveway and drive back home. Shizuru watched as they sped off, calculating that the time it took for them to be out of hearing range would be enough quiet time for Natsuki. As soon as that moment came, she climbed the stairs to the second floor and walked down the hallway to the master bedroom.

The girl opened the door slowly, surprised to find it empty. She gave it a quick glance and also noticed that Natsuki's bag wasn't in here either, meaning that she had never come to the room in the first place. Leaving that area behind, Shizuru moved down the stretch of floor space until she came upon the only guestroom was a closed door.

She took a deep breath and reached out to the handle, but stopped herself as soon as she touched it. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. If Natsuki needed her space it was probably best to not push her luck, being the source of the girl's stress in the first place. Shizuru's head dropped sadly, sliding her fingers away from the brass and turning to head down the stairs.

This act didn't go unnoticed by the navy-haired girl inside the room. Ever since she heard the car drive away and the footsteps coming up towards her she expected some grand heart to heart chat about romance or whatever. It made her wonder what it was that stopped Shizuru from entering.

"I guess I'll have plenty of time to find out..."


	3. A Moment of Courtesy

**III - A Moment of Courtesy**

Around midday of Natsuki's arrival, the doorbell suddenly rang. While the navy-haired girl was still unresponsive in her room, Shizuru had been in the middle of preparing a lunch for the both of them. She hoped that perhaps the girl's hunger would entice her to come out so that they could talk. It rang again, eliciting a mutter from the girl's mouth as she dried her hands on a dish towel and hurried to the front area.

Shizuru opened the door slowly to see a redheaded girl with soft violet eyes on her doorstep, holding a bag in one hand and some sort of case in the other. It was the first time they had seen each other, and both were surprised at how long the silence lasted in which they were observing each other. Finally the younger girl gave a lopsided smile and laughed a bit.

"Eheh! Sorry to come by unannounced at lunch time, but it was the only time I could today. I'm Tokiha Mai, a friend of Natsuki's and I-" before she could finish the door was hastily opened and Shizuru's face lit up.

"You're a friend of hers? Could you please go see if she's alright?"

"...Huh?" the redhead gave her a raised eyebrow.

"Did something happen?"

While Shizuru led the way into the house, Mai stayed standing near the door for an explanation. As soon as the former noticed this she stopped and calmed down, she didn't want to rush anything once again.

"She's taking this very hard..." the older girl said solemnly.

"And when she arrived this morning one of my friends overstepped her boundaries and caused some trouble. Ever since, Natsuki has locked herself in one of the guest rooms..."

Mai sighed and looked away. She expected as much given her friend's attitude towards the engagement, but knew how to handle it better than Shizuru. After all, their history went back way further than two days. She put her luggage on the floor to her side and removed her shoes, stepping past Shizuru and into the kitchen, earning an odd stare from her.

"It's best to leave Natsuki be when she gets like this... as frustrating as it can be for people who want to help her. You were making lunch right? I'll help you and we can talk about this and hopefully she'll come down once she smells it," Mai said as she took the liberty of setting herself up with all the ingredients and cutlery needed.

While Shizuru was surprised at how well this girl knew her way around a kitchen, she wasn't one to leave all the work to a guest so she set up beside her and began telling Mai about the events this morning.

She nodded.

"Yeah, one thing that you can't ever bring up with Natsuki is her family... And rightfully so. When her mother died all she was left with was an empty house and... this..." Mai looked down at the food.

"I don't mean to disrespect you or your family, but please try to see this from her point of view... Natsuki is anything but conservative on the outside, but she still holds things like marriage to their traditional meaning. The problem is not that you are taking something away from her, but that you are giving her a responsibility she never wanted. She will take good care of you, support you, and treat you perfectly as her wife, because that is what she is... even if she doesn't truly feel it."

"I see..." Shizuru too avoided eye contact for a moment before turning to face Mai, who subconsciously turned to do the same, "But... for what it's worth, this isn't a business matter to me. I... I don't know how, but I do love her."

"I'm glad then... But you have to be careful with her."

"Can you," she looked away again, "Teach me how?"

"How?" Mai blinked.

"You mean how to act around her?"

Shizuru nodded, causing the redhead to chuckle to herself.

"I'm sorry... Natsuki's way too complex for me to teach you what to do. That's something you'll have to figure out on your own."

"Oh..."

"But I'll do my best to help, for Natsuki's sake as well as yours. First thing's first though we have to get her down here to eat. I'll do some talking and you set the table, we'll be down in a bit."

Shizuru blinked at Mai's retreating figure.

"Are you sure you can do it?"

"Yeah, no problem. There's a method to dealing with her, you just need to know her signals to know how to react to them," Mai said with a smile as she headed up the stairs, leaving Shizuru with her thoughts.

_Her signals... Her language... I don't know any of it... Not like her friends do._

-0-

There was a light knocking at Natsuki's door, but the girl didn't respond, thinking it was Shizuru. Then the doorknob began to turn, making her wonder if this girl would be bold enough to try coming in when unwelcome, but luckily it was locked from the inside. What really shocked her though was when the person on the other side of the door began pulling hard on it and banging.

_Okay, I haven't seen much of her, but she seems way too reserved for that._

Natsuki thought as she got to her feet, about to check who it was when a voice on the other side scolded her.

"Geez! You really barricaded yourself didn't you? She's not that scary of a person!"

A cross formed on the girl's forehead as she clenched her fist in annoyance before opening the door forcefully, grabbing Mai by her arm, pulling her in the room and then closing the door behind her.

"Do you have to be so loud? What are you doing here anyways?"

The redhead just stuck her tongue out at the comment about being loud; her reason for yelling was simple: Natsuki's reactions never ceased to amuse her. As for what she was doing here, she held out both things she had brought with her.

"You left these at your old place, I figured you'd need your video games sooner or later. " she gave her the bag first, and the case next.

"And this is more for me... since if you don't practice you're gonna suck and bring us all down."

The navy-haired girl rolled her eyes and took it, placing it next to her bed with the rest of her stuff that was still unpacked. Once the few pleasantries were exchanged they were left in silence; Natsuki still wasn't really in the mood for talking and chose to just sit on the bed again like she was doing before. Mai took a deep breath and sat down next to her.

"... My old place eh?" Natsuki started.

"I guess that's what it is now..."

"At least you still get to go back for work right? Then again you're only starting up again in a month or so when all this is sorted."

"Yeah, no matter what it's still my home... where I grew up... Where I wanted to stay..." she sighed, "Why are you really here Mai?"

The girl shrugged.

"Well, you did need those, but I also wanted to check up on you. I figured having friends around a lot when you first moved in would help ease the transition as much as possible..." she hesitated for a minute, "I spoke to Shizuru... she seems nice."

"Is she?" Natsuki scoffed.

"I wouldn't know... Having only spoken to her twice... and that was yesterday."

"At least be cordial. From what I can see she seems like the type of person who you would have liked if this wasn't the situation."

"Argh! I know! But this_ is_ the situation and I can't help but feel like she put me here! She could have said she didn't want to marry me but-"

"But she loves you," Mai finished, giving her friend a soft smile, "I know that's not what you want to hear... that you would be much happier thinking she did it out of spite. She didn't though, and I for one think she can actually make you happy if you gave her a shot."

Even though Natsuki cringed at the thought of being the source of someone's unrequited love, she had to admit, if only to herself, that the thought did make her feel happy.

_No one has ever said they loved me before... Hell I don't think anyone has, not in that way at least... But still she's a girl, and I just... can't feel_ 'the feeling'.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a pat on the back, enticing her to look up into purple eyes.

"Come on, lunch is probably ready now and you two can finally talk things over. At least say hello!"

Natsuki sighed, realizing that it was true; she never even greeted the girl she was supposed to marry. Reluctantly, she stood up and followed her friend downstairs, gulping down her fears of meeting her fiancée properly for the first time.

-0-

Meanwhile, Shizuru was sitting at the dining room table by herself, waiting for the other two girls to arrive before eating. She hoped that everything she made would be to Natsuki's liking, but then again, Mai had helped so she was certain there would be at least something she enjoyed here. It was nerve wracking to think that this would be their first real conversation.

_I hope she isn't as angry as yesterday... or as resentful... I just..._she sighed and rested her head in her palm, uncharacteristically showing vulnerability, _I really only wanted to greet her, that's all._

Just then, the girl heard footsteps coming down the stairs so she took the few remaining seconds to fix her hair and sit up straight, poised in a professional manner, but not particularly cold either. Mai entered the room first, sitting across from Shizuru and leaving Natsuki to decide. Not surprisingly, she chose a seat next to the redhead. Even though the eldest girl expected as much, she still felt a hint of disappointment, naturally.

While Shizuru kept trying to get Natsuki to look at her, the navy-haired girl continually avoided eye contact all throughout the meal; speaking if and only to Mai, and very short answers at that. Finally the redhead decided for a more blunt way to break the tension, as her subtle attempts had failed. She turned a bit in her seat so that she was facing both girls and inhaled deeply.

"Okay, so I'm gonna speed things up here. You two need to at least say something! It doesn't even have to be about the engagement, just like if you met on the street."

"Mai, you know I don't talk to strangers."

"Ara, what a well behaved child."

"Shut up! I don't mean like that! I just hate talking to people I don't know."

"You just spoke to her!" Mai exclaimed with glee before turning focused again.

"Alright, now let's try talking without telling the other person to shut up."

"Oh come on Mai I was clearly provoked!"

"But Natsuki seems fun to tease, her expressions are wonderful," Shizuru continued with a playful smirk.

The navy-haired girl on the other hand turned completely red and looked away, grumbling something and trying to stand up and leave before being pulled back in her chair by her friend.

"Okay okay let's calm down, just look at her and say something," she coached along.

Natsuki grit her teeth and sighed. Silence consumed the room again as she finally looked into crimson eyes that seemed to capture her entirely. She didn't know why they did, but it was enough to throw her off guard briefly. About to say something, her mouth opened, but then no words would come out. It all became a series of unknown noises from her throat, as if all of her feelings were trying to escape at once; and unfortunately, it got to her. Suddenly Natsuki jolted up out of her place, her eyes and fists clenched tightly.

"I... I can't..." she muttered before running off back to her room.

Mai tried to stop her again, but this time failed at keeping her friend in line. There was nothing she could do once Natsuki was out of arms reach. The pep talk could only work only so many times in the span of an hour, or even a day. Now it was up to her when to come out.

"I'm sorry..." Shizuru said sadly, "I suppose that was my fault, I was too hard on her. "

"No, we tease her all the time, it's just her."

"But still... I shouldn't have, not yet anyway. You told me to treat her delicately and I gave in to my own temptation instead. I wouldn't blame you if you disapproved of my marrying her... I'll probably make for a poor wife..."

Mai tilted her head to the side.

"Wow... you're really hard on yourself."

"Sorry, I shouldn't be burdening you with this. You are on her side after all."

"Side? There aren't any sides here, and if there are then we're all on the same one."

"Even Natsuki?"

"Even her... because all of us want her to be happy right?"

Shizuru nodded.

"Exactly. She has issues with dependability, so the best way to earn her trust is to be there for her. I got in the way this time as a buffer, but I have to get back to work. Next time she needs something, you'll be the one to provide it for her... I think that's the way."

-0-

It had come to nightfall and Natsuki was still not ready to leave the comfort of her enclosed space. She had spent most of it lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and entertaining tense thoughts about her future, but at one point sat up with a conclusion in mind.

Even though she did this with a grimace, the girl was still going to enjoy herself: she took out her first item from her bags, her video game console, and proceeded to set it up. Despite wanting to play earlier, it sure beat doing nothing; she hadn't been able to accept that she lived here now. Doing this would be like giving up, she had thought, but it was thanks to Mai that she no longer saw it as giving up. Granted, this was only a minor improvement. Natsuki still could not bring herself to speak to or even see Shizuru yet.

In fact, she was able to keep this up for nearly a month.

While it drove the older girl crazy, wondering when it was Natsuki would leave the room for food and fresh air, she seemed hell-bent on doing it as long as possible. From what she could tell, the biker would wait until she was out to make her meals and then bring them to the room, or wait until night when she was asleep. Every few days Mai would stop by to check up on her, but still couldn't give Shizuru any good news.

Mid-September now, it was still summer, but one could tell it was on its edges. The sun had only just started to rise but Natsuki was already dressed to head out. She tied her hair back in a ponytail to keep it out of the way as she stretched by herself in her room. A few minutes later, the navy-haired girl peeked out down the hallway and then closed her eyes to concentrate on listening to the lower floor. The coast was clear, she nodded to herself, stepping out and quietly sneaking down the stairs but quickly making her way to her running shoes.

She had just about slipped them on when footsteps above her made her freeze. Natsuki's breath hitched, like she had just been caught doing something wrong or incredibly embarrassing, even though it was more out of worry for finally being in a bind to speak with the other girl. Her emerald eyes gazed up, staring, perhaps coldly, into crimson ones as the two blinked at each other. Both were dressed in outerwear, similar styles even, which made Natsuki wonder if Shizuru had done this on purpose just to get her. Speaking of whom, she had now made it all the way down the stairs and into the foyer.

"I didn't know you take morning jogs too Natsuki," she ventured, "I suppose you usually leave earlier, otherwise we would have crossed paths no?"

The navy-haired girl cringed again at the kindness, despite everything, and kicked her shoes aside. Even though she was clearly in the mood to burn off some energy, Natsuki would do anything but join Shizuru on a fitness endeavour. Turning on her heel, the girl headed towards the kitchen, grumbling something.

"I don't jog in the mornings. I was just bored. But if you're going I'll go make my breakfast."

Shizuru stepped closer, trying not to let her slip away.

"In that case I'll join you for-"

"No," Natsuki snapped, but with a hint of regret, "Please... just... leave me alone..."

And without another word, she left Shizuru standing by herself at the front door. She contemplated going after Natsuki even more, but decided against it.

_Tokiha-san said it's best to leave her be when she gets like that... the most effective method is to show that I'm there when she needs..._

She put her shoes on and left the house, starting off with a walk through the woods surrounding the house.

_But I don't know how much longer I can last like this... I'd like to think I could handle anything but her not speaking to me... hurts so much..._

-0-

Taking advantage of the time Shizuru was out to prepare her food; Natsuki viciously began to cut up the vegetables needed for her abnormally healthy breakfast. No matter how much she loved meats and greasy foods, in her line of work she needed to assure she was in peak physical shape and that always began with a healthy breakfast. She sat down at the table by herself, admiring the silence that was broken only by the fast tapping of her foot.

"This is so awkward..." she muttered to herself, "I've been stuck up in that room for a month now, thinking about what to say, and every time I try, something stupid like _that_ just comes out!"

She took another bite of her food and continued to talk to herself, getting more and more elaborate with her hand gestures.

"What's wrong with her? Honestly why doesn't she get rid of me already?"

_"__She loves you,"_Mai's voice rang in her head.

"Gah! Why?!" she sighed, looking around the well decorated house and imagining what would come of her life.

"... I want to talk to her... I want to talk to her... Argh! I do damn it! So why don't I? She keeps giving me chances and never letting up..."

Unfortunately, all of this thinking was getting too heated in Natsuki's head for her liking. She concluded that the right moment would come eventually and only then would she take Shizuru up on her offer to have a conversation. Until then, she would do whatever it took to make herself happy, starting with something she had dearly missed the past month.

The girl went back upstairs to her room and pulled out the case Mai had brought her out from under the bed and placed it on top. For the first time in a while, Natsuki had smiled, relaxed, as she pulled the instrument out of it and returned downstairs.

Searching for peace of mind, the girl chose the garden as the spot where she would practice. Sliding the paper door aside, she squinted a bit at the sunlight; she hadn't seen this place in daylight before, having only come out in the middle of the night to think. Natsuki didn't bother to close it behind her as she set herself up on a large rock at the edge of the koi pond. Then, she took a deep relaxing breath and placed the instrument near her shoulder with one hand while holding its bow in the other.

She had been playing for nearly half an hour when Shizuru arrived at the front door. Despite having just been running around, she looked surprisingly well with hardly any ruffles in her clothing either. The girl removed her sweater and hung it up by the door as she stepped out of her shoes. At first she didn't even hear the melody playing, but slowly it reached her ears. Shizuru gasped lightly to herself at the timbre of the piece. It was a solemn composition, but the instrument it was played on seemed to make it even more so.

Gently moving towards the back of the house where the garden was situated, Shizuru was careful not to disturb the angelic figure before her eyes. Her mouth gaped open ever so slightly as she continued to listen to the song, unable to stop her heart from skipping beats and her sight from watching the way Natsuki's hair flowed in the soft breeze.

_I never knew she played an instrument... Ah yes! That is what Tokiha-san brought her almost a month ago... I wonder why I never heard her play it before..._

"...It's truly a beautiful sound..." she muttered allowed, surprised to hear the melody come to a sudden halt; she hadn't expected to be heard.

"I... I'm sorry, please, continue..."

Natsuki turned around. She was right; finally taking some time to practice did calm her down. The girl dropped the wooden pieces onto her lap, but still held them tightly in her grasp to assure they wouldn't break on the ground, and met eyes with Shizuru nervously.

"It's alright... That wasn't my best version anyway; I need to take a break before trying to get it again."

Both stayed quiet for a minute or so, taking in their first moments of real conversation, before Shizuru stepped forward.

"I think it sounded wonderful... but I never knew violins could make such a sound."

"It's not a violin," Natsuki managed a smile, even if it was directed at Shizuru's ignorance, "It's a viola..."

She looked down at it.

"Even though they're similar, I could never play the violin right for some reason. But since all of my favourite pieces are written for that, I make a hobby out of rewriting them for the viola."

"I see, that's very impressive... I never expected someone so respected as a martial artist to be so interested in being a musician."

"Heh... there's a lot about me you don't know," she said quietly.

"And whose fault is that?" the elder girl teased, but caught herself right after, lowering her head.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't make jokes about that. It's your right to be silent when you want. This is difficult for you."

"It is... and it will be for a while longer too. Maybe even more than that, I don't know. I don't know if I can ever really accept this, even if I have to. For some reason, marrying you was my mother's wish... and since that is really my motivation for doing this I have to stop hoping that you'll kick me out. This is for her, and what she wanted for me... so, it is my choice to keep going."

She stood up and walked back inside the house.

"...But... that doesn't mean this is going to be easy," her voice seemed to carry a bit of malice again.

"Natsuki... we should at least try to be friends shouldn't we?"

The navy-haired girl looked away.

"I'll try," she replied sarcastically, "But I hate trusting people..."

Shizuru watched the girl disappear again. Mentally sighing and regretting letting that tease slip out. Who knew how long it would take for her to get back that peaceful moment between them? It took a month to get this far, but now maybe she had stepped somewhere she shouldn't. On the other hand, her confident side told her that her insecurities were all in her head.

_Maybe... this time Natsuki won't need a month to recover from me..._


	4. A Match

**IV - A Match**

"What the-!" Natsuki exclaimed, caught off guard by Shizuru standing right in front of the door just as she walked in.

"So you _do_take morning jogs," the older girl said with a smirk of victory before stepping aside and letting the heaving navy-haired girl come in.

Despite the fact that it was raining, pouring in fact, she had wanted to run out some of her energy. Natsuki took off her shoes at the genkan but still left puddles in her wake from her soaked clothing. She had merely rolled her eyes at Shizuru's comment and went to sit at the kitchen table. Once she was sitting she pulled back her hood as well, revealing the dripping wet hair falling over her face. The two were quiet for a bit as usual, but there was still a tremendous amount of improvement; as shown by the younger girl's following actions.

Shizuru was just about to leave the room when Natsuki's head lifted and turned to follow the figure.

"Hey..." she muttered, "Where are you going?"

"I was just... leaving."

"You don't have to disappear every time I enter a room..." Natsuki said as she passed by the older girl and went into the fridge for a cold drink, "I know I have a bad temper, but I'd never hurt you if that's what you're worried about."

Shizuru, leaning on the edge of the doorway with her arms folded over her chest, couldn't help but have her lips curl up.

"I'm a trained fighter too you know, soon to be leader of my dojo, even in a rage do you think you could defeat me?"

Natsuki gave her her own confident stare.

"Does that mean you think I _can't_?"

Shizuru shrugged.

"Well, there's only one way to know... but I don't really want to fight you-"

"What!?"

"Huh?" the taller girl raised an eyebrow.

"You're telling me you got me all excited about a fight and now you're taking it away?! Geez... talk about dangling the dream..."

"You mean... you want to fight... _me_?"

Natsuki sat back down at the table and took another gulp of her drink then unzipped the front of her sweater to cool herself.

"For someone who's a fighter at heart, the best way to know someone is through their fists... And besides, it's been a long time since I've gotten a chance to fight someone," she grinned, for the first time giving Shizuru an expression other than a grimace or nothing at all.

The scarlet-eyed girl on the other hand was still somewhat shocked. At first she instinctively would never fight Natsuki, but she could tell from the way this girl spoke that it was incredibly special.

"_The best way to know someone is through their fists,"_ she thought.

_That means... she wants to know me..._

Not only that, but it was the first time Natsuki had invited her to join her in anything. If she were to reject her offer, it could close off the girl's progress for who knows how long. Again she remembered some wise words.

"_Natsuki will come to you when she needs you. And you have to be there for her if you want her to like you."_

With Mai's words in mind, Shizuru looked deep into her fiancée's emerald eyes.

"Very well, I accept your challenge."

"Good!" Natsuki jolted up out of her seat and tossed her sweater aside, revealing her sinewy arms from her black tank top, "We'll do it outside; the rain is nice and cool."

"Wait! You want to do martial arts on wet grass?"

"Yeah? You got a problem with that?" the navy-haired girl said, looking back over her shoulder as she opened the screen door leading to the garden.

When Shizuru shook her head no, Natsuki continued to lead the way outside. Once they had moved onto the grass, there were no sounds aside from the raindrops and that of their footsteps. They stood about three meters apart in a standard respectful position and then bowed to one another as was practice in these sports. Simultaneously, the two girls lifted themselves straight again, locked eyes, and quickly took their fighting stances.

Both Natsuki and Shizuru slowly stepped closer, carefully moving to the side, beginning to circle each other. The younger of the two was the first to strike, taking two quicksteps forward and throwing a fast straight punch. The other was able to sidestep and dodge fast enough, but was then the first to take a hit as Natsuki raised her leg for a perfect roundhouse kick into Shizuru's back. It was powerful to be sure, but so were the latter's defensive abilities; she was able to land on the grass properly, roll to lose speed, and then get up on one knee just in time for Natsuki's additional drop kick.

With a smirk, Shizuru raised merely one arm to block, catching the navy-haired girl's ankle in one hand and twisting it to the right. This sent the wide-eyed Natsuki spinning and falling to the ground, landing face first in the wet grass. With a grunt she got up and took a few steps back and Shizuru did the same.

Again the offensive player was Natsuki, although she went for a feint attack first. She aimed a fast kick to her sparring partner's head but retracted fast enough to guide Shizuru's defence to one side without getting caught by it. Afterwards she followed by using the slippery ground to her advantage and side stepping quickly in order to aim a back fist strike into the girl's unguarded side. However, unlike last time, Shizuru was able to spin fast enough to grab hold of Natsuki's wrist, twist it behind her and once again send her somersaulting into the ground; at least this time she landed face up, though with the wind knocked out of her lungs.

While Shizuru stepped away, Natsuki perhaps took a moment too long to feel the rain on her skin. Her face was scratched, nothing dangerous of course but still, the water gave her some relief. With a deep breath, she jumped up and stood ready. It was clear that the other girl's style was defensive, she wondered if she would ever get a chance to use her counters.

At the same time Shizuru was beginning to wonder the same thing. Their lack of movement suggested a shift in pattern. She knew the navy-haired girl was waiting for her move, and she ended up with the decision to humour her.

Stepping towards Natsuki at a swift pace, Shizuru threw an easy punch that was deflected by a basic block from her opponent. Not only that, but as their wrists connected the navy-haired girl was able to quickly open her fist, wrap it around Shizuru's arm to hold her in place before attempting to kick her beneath her arm. Surprisingly however, the counter was countered. Shizuru enabled her flexibility to brake from Natsuki's hold by turning downwards and to the side, twisting her arm in the process, but in a manner which not only avoided the kick but all she had to do was stand up straight to once again flip Natsuki onto her back. And this time she didn't let up there.

Shizuru was about to go in for another offensive move, but her downward punch was caught by the navy-haired girl by using strength alone. Then, with Natsuki's expression clearly saying, "see how you like it!" and a grin, the younger girl rolled over and caused the older to spin off balance and land on her back with a wince. Natsuki watched carefully as Shizuru lay on the ground, slightly longer than the average fighter, but then she was able to stand up.

However, her jade eyes caught onto something: the trembling in her legs, the puffs of frigid air coming from her mouth, but also the seriousness in her eyes. This match was something else entirely. It wasn't just a spar between rivals, or roommates even; it was their first connection. While still remaining completely alert physically, Natsuki was beginning to allow her mind to think. Shizuru's stance was still strong despite taking quite a few pinpointed hits which were probably more painful than Natsuki's falls, but her muscles were shaking also from the cold outside. Yet still, she looked at her with those determined eyes.

_Is what I said that important to her...? Does she want to know me to the point of hurting herself?_

The girls continued their stare, though only for a moment before Natsuki closed her eyes and stood up straight. To Shizuru's surprise, the girl took a bow – which was reciprocated like a reflex – and walked onto the wooden porch.

"Good fight," she said.

"Wait!" Shizuru ran up behind her, "Why did you stop?"

"I lost," Natsuki looked away, "I was getting tired. And look at the points, I got you on the ground only twice, you got me three times."

"Ah... okay..."

Though Shizuru was suspicious of exactly how honest that was, knowing the truth would only make her feel torn between her honour as a fighter, and her happiness as a person. The thought of Natsuki stopping for her sake made her feel happy somewhere inside, more so than insulted since she was able to put aside her pride.

"You... made me happy..." Natsuki muttered, having turned to face the outside in order to watch the rainfall.

Luckily this allowed Shizuru to blush without being caught, though given her flushed state from the match no one would really be able to tell.

"...Me too," she replied, "... Would you, umm, like some tea?" she asked, noticing that Natsuki seemed set on staying outside.

"Yeah actually, I'd love some..."

Only a few minutes later Shizuru stepped out onto the porch with the tray in hand, kneeling down to place it between her and Natsuki, and then turning to sit facing the outdoors as well. Aside from the soft sipping of the tea, the only thing the girls could hear were the rain and each other's breathing. It was still coming down hard, and probably wouldn't stop for the whole day, but that was fine. Both of them would be content to sit there all day, slowly adjusting to the other's presence.

"I..." Natsuki started, still looking outwards despite causing Shizuru to turn to look at her, "I'm sorry..."

"What for?" the girl responded on reflex.

"You know what for."

"... Mm."

Again they were claimed by silence, and again Natsuki was the first to break it. Although this time she turned to look at the chestnut-haired one.

"I don't hate you, Shizuru."

This sparked the girl's interest; she turned curiously to face the navy-haired girl.

"You... don't?"

"No... But I made it seem like I did, and that was wrong of me. It's the situation that bothers me, even down to the start of it... I have no idea why my mother would do this... and no way of finding out. Then even into the present, I only met you a month or so ago... I don't know you, and I don't trust people easily."

"I hope that one day you can come to trust me," Shizuru replied, putting down her cup.

"At least know that I only have good intentions towards you."

Natsuki gave a mirthless smile.

"Thanks... but... I hate good intentions..." she noticed Shizuru gasp a little.

"No, sorry it's not that, but just... whenever something bad happens to me everyone always claims it's a mistake and that they had good intentions. And I realized that there comes a time when your intentions don't matter anymore. I'm not trying to say it doesn't mean anything to me that you have good intentions, really I'm grateful, it's just the phrase that makes me cringe..."

"I see..."

One last time, they were quiet to each other, but now Shizuru spoke first.

"I'm not saying this to pressure you, but as an offer... If you want to talk to me, about anything, you can."

"...Thanks..." Natsuki said with a genuine smile, though small, before looking down into her cup and speaking more sadly.

"How can you be happy with this?"

"It's hard to explain," Shizuru replied while looking out at the rain falling into the koi pond, "A lot of what I had imagined for us is different, and I like that. It would have been too boring if you were everything I had dreamed about forever- Ah! Sorry, I shouldn't talk about that... it probably makes you uncomfortable to know..."

"No it's alright, I asked after all..."

"I'm happy because I get to be with you... I guess that's the best answer."

"But since I'm not who you imagined, why are you still happy?"

"Because..." she paused, trying her hardest to not look at Natsuki when she said this, "I care about _you_more..."

"What?"

"What else is there to say?" Shizuru said, "You, as you are, are more likable than my imaginary version of you."

"But, how is that possible?"

"... I have no idea..."

-0-

After dinner, both Natsuki and Shizuru were busy with cleaning the dishes and putting them away. They were now comfortable to stand side by side and work together. Even though it may be a bit too soon for Natsuki to call her a friend, she knew they weren't enemies. She knew that Shizuru didn't want to hurt her, and was even able to trust that thought a little. She couldn't completely, but she was pretty sure.

Their talk after the match made her feel more secure, and happy that she finally got the courage to be more real. It was tiring having to always be so distant, and eventually it got to a point where Natsuki had realised she was more sad pretending to be sad than she probably would be if she just accepted this naturally.

_Still... I just don't want to give her the wrong impression..._she glanced over at Shizuru who was smiling as she dried the dishes.

_I don't hate her, or even dislike her, she's okay... but I don't want her to think that just because I'm nicer to her that I'll be able to return her feelings._

The girl shook her head quickly, trying to get such thoughts out of her head. She was having a good day and she didn't want to analyze this situation anymore, it exhausted her. Whether it was alone or with Shizuru, she just wanted to sit back and relax. As soon as the last piece of cutlery was put away, the girl tossed the towel on the counter and sighed with the relief as she strode into the living room to sit on the sofa.

The navy-haired girl's arms were stretched openly across the top of the furniture, and her head leaned back to rest with her eyes closed. She didn't even hear Shizuru approach from the side.

"Can I join you?"

"Eh? Oh, sure," the girl replied while sitting up and moving to one end of the couch now folding her arms over her abdomen.

She watched Shizuru sit down on the opposite side and curl her legs beneath her as she leaned her side on the cushions.

"Can I ask you about yourself?"

Natsuki flinched for a second but then looked away.

"I'd rather not talk about myself..."

"Your friends then?" Shizuru ventured.

She thought that she could learn some more about the girl through the way she talked about her friends, but then wondered if it would still be too personal.

"Okay," came the shocking reply, "I have a few friends, but my closest are Mai and Nao, they're both in the band with me."

"You're in a band?" Shizuru asked, wide eyed.

"Well yeah, that's what I play the viola for, there're a few others there too, but none who I really talk to. I also went to high school with Nao and Mai so we've known each other a long time. We all joined together."

"What do they play?"

"Mai is a bassist and Nao..." the navy-haired girl seemed to choke with laughter, turning a bit red while trying to hold back a fit of giggles.

"W-what is it?"

"Haha! Sorry... you kinda have to know her to know why it's funny... but she plays the flute."

"That's... nice?" Shizuru still wasn't too sure what to say, given Natsuki's odd laughter at what to her seemed like something pretty simple.

"Well it's just... she's so... tough and badass, aha, or at least wishes she were, and the flute is such a..."

"Sweet instrument?"

"Yeah I guess that's it."

Natsuki was calmer now, but still chuckling at the thought of her friend.

"I mean, she's really good at it, but she looks so different playing than plain walking around on the street. You wouldn't expect her to be someone so plays something that makes you cry," she paused and looked up, "I'll bring her by sometime..."

"I'd like that."

"What about you?"

"Well, you met two of my three closest friends earlier... in an unfortunate way that I'm still sorry for..."

"The blonde and that guy?"

"Yes, I've known them and our other friend Yukino since we were children, we grew up together. I know Haruka can cause trouble, but I care about her a lot. Luckily since she married Reito they balance each other out, he's calm enough to bring her back to reality, but she can push him past his shyness when he needs."

"Mm..." Natsuki's eyes shifted back on the table in front of them.

The two once again fell into an awkward silence, unsure of where to go from here in their conversation. They had done quite a bit of communicating for one day and personally the younger girl was physically beat from her multiple workouts. However that thought sparked another question for her.

"Hey, by the way, how come you weren't fighting with the same style as me?"

Shizuru gave her an odd look, as if it were a ridiculous question but still somewhat understanding. She figured Natsuki had always been so opposed to this that she didn't even bother to think about the logistics of the arrangement.

"Because we were trained differently," she replied with a triumphant expression meant to lightly tease the girl.

"Gah I know th-... wait... what? Doesn't your family specialize in karate too?"

"Nope, we use Aikido. That's why there was a join, so that we could now teach both under the same name, eventually developing a style that is unique to our family."

Natsuki just stared at her blankly, having been completely unaware of her circumstances. She sighed at her own ignorance and stood up. Shizuru had to shift her eyes away from the sight of the lithe body stretching in front of her before it walked away.

"I'm gonna sleep early," Natsuki said, heading towards the stairs, but stopping briefly at the first step, "Thanks a lot... for today."

She tried to hide her reddening cheeks.

"It... meant a lot to me."

Despite her best efforts, Shizuru had picked up on this easily and smiled softly as she rested herself on the back of the sofa. She couldn't help but look at her anymore, and thinking about how good of a day they had made it even harder to look away.

"Mmhmm," she nodded and waiting until the navy-haired girl was just barely out of range before adding, "Natsuki?"

"Yeah?" her head peeked down from the top of the stairs.

"I demand a rematch," came the innocent reply accompanied by a bright grin.

Natsuki herself just gave a confident smirk and began walking up the final steps.

"I'll be ready for you this time."

-0-

The young Kuga heiress let out a big yawn as she walked into her small guest room. Without hesitation she flopped back onto her bed, resting her hands behind her head in addition to her pillow. She looked up at the ceiling with a serious expression. She was deep in thought over what had just happened. It had been a little over a month since their meeting, yet Natsuki had been comfortable enough to challenge this girl to a fight. There was something about Shizuru that made her feel safe, no matter what all the facets of her personality were telling her.

_I can't trust anyone... I know that's a fact... but... Ugh! I don't even think of her as a friend..._ She nodded firmly, _Right, I'll admit that's she's okay, and at least we have fighting in common... if ever we hit an awkward silence again that's something I can bring up... but..._

She cringed and rolled over onto her side.

_I feel safe with her... Like... I don't have to question her... And it's not just that I think I could handle it if she did hurt me... but that she wouldn't hurt me in the first place..._

Her eyes opened wide for a second.

_Wait! It doesn't matter! She can't hurt me! I can't be hurt by someone like her! Someone who-_

Natsuki sighed again and rolled back on her back, dropping her arms to the side in defeat.

_Damn it... she_**is**_my friend..._


	5. What If

**V - What If**

It was the last day of October, more commonly known as Halloween. The sun had set not long ago, leaving the sky a soft shade of blue that quickly darkened into a midnight violet. However, the peaceful tones were broken up by the sound of music emanating from Shizuru and Natsuki's house.

The two had been asked to host a party this year in order to "promote" their engagement; something which still made the younger girl ache inside. It all seemed so fake, being surrounded by people she barely knew like she was a walking advertisement. Just then Natsuki felt a nudge on her shoulder.

"Do you know who any of these people are?" came the accented voice of Shizuru standing behind her.

The navy-haired girl turned and gave her a curious look.

"Huh? I thought you invited them..."

"I thought you invited them!"

Then before they knew it both girls were laughing at the predicament they were put in. In truth neither of them had a clue who their own guests were, they were all associates of the Fujino dojo, but not necessarily martial artists themselves.

"Judging by what I've overheard a lot of these people are businessmen. People who buy and sell equipment even."

"... Your parents set us up with a pretty boring crowd..." Natsuki grumbled, earning another chuckle from the one beside her.

"It's true," Shizuru said with a lopsided smile, "They're all quite dull... and much older than us now that I look around."

"Are your parents even here?"

"I don't think so..."

"... Well then..." Natsuki rubbed the back of her neck, "This is awkward..."

Even more awkward was the fact that the only people seemingly their age were acting like children and gawking over the tall scarlet-eyed girl. Dressed in a sleek black and red dress, her natural beauty was attracting a lot of attention from a group of students at the dojo who had all trained under Shizuru.

"Whoa, who are they?" Natsuki asked, motioning to said girls.

"To put simply... fans," Shizuru sighed between her teeth while keeping a smile and waving at them, "I suppose my parents would want me to talk to them... Would you mind waiting for me?"

The navy-haired girl was a bit surprised by the fact that Shizuru _had_ fans, and didn't quite understand, but that didn't stop her from automatically allowing Shizuru the freedom to talk to them. Natsuki stood in place, watching her walk over to the young girls, but was caught off guard by an arm being swung over her shoulders, relaxing around her neck.

"I hate you, you know?" Nao said with a cheeky expression.

"You're gonna marry _that_ and you don't even appreciate it."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"She's freakin' hot!" the redhead smirked, obviously checking out the girl's curves.

"I can't believe you didn't invite me over sooner!"

"... I didn't know she was _that_ good looking?" Natsuki tried to defend herself.

"That's my point!" Nao sighed.

"But oh well... I don't think I'd be her type."

"You never know until you try."

"Ha, no. I know. She likes the mysterious hidden ones, I'm too out there... you on the other hand," she jested, poking Natsuki in the shoulder.

"Don't joke about that," the navy-haired girl groaned, pushing the arm away, "I don't know what to do with her... Right now I'm trying my best not to lead her on. I mean, she's a friend, I don't want to hurt her."

"Friend? That's certainly a big step, how'd that happen?"

"I dunno... There just came a time when I didn't mind her so much, and we started talking more often... You never really notice when you first start considering someone a friend..."

"Well I guess that's true... Hey where's Mai?" Nao asked, looking around for the other redhead of their trio.

And right on cue they found her wandering around the crowd walking towards them; meeting with Shizuru on her way and providing her with the perfect out to get away from the fangirls and return to Natsuki.

"Sorry it took so long, but thank you Mai-san for arriving when you did."

"Ah, no problem at all," the violet-eyed girl replied with a casual grin.

Nao was about to pick up conversation right away but was cut off by the two hosts turning to the opening door. Apparently more guests were arriving, but this time they weren't strangers. Shizuru was the one to pay the most attention to the arrival of her close friends. Haruka and Reito walked in side by side, followed by a mousy brunette whose expression was hard to read.

Natsuki on the other hand stood with her two friends, trying to avoid contact with Haruka who still seemed to be hostile towards her. She sighed when she saw that Shizuru was bringing them over to introduce everyone to each other. In some respects this was harder on Natsuki than meeting Shizuru's biological family, since she knew better than anyone how much friends can care for one another.

"Hey, is that the one you told me about? Who chewed you out for being angry at the arrangement?"

Nao muttered.

"Yeah, but don't mention it... I don't wanna start anything tonight," Natsuki replied.

"Agh... Still... She bugs me..."

"You haven't even met her yet," Mai mentioned, trying to appear as civil as possible, a model for Nao's behaviour.

Only a few seconds later did Shizuru return with her friends, bringing them into the circle with the others. They all evened out their clothing before making eye contact with the opposite party.

"These are my friends, Reito, Haruka, and Yukino," the girl gestured to each one respectively before Natsuki took her turn.

"And this is Mai," she allowed a moment for the redhead to shake hands with the three of them, "And Nao."

Nao too extended her hand, but her reaction to each person was different. Reito seemed kind enough, so it was harmless. Then, she and Haruka seemed to have both a mutual understanding for why theirs was more like a brief touch. The last was the one which caught Nao by surprise.

A curious vibe ran through her body when she met eyes with Yukino; and the others were too caught up in their own internal commentaries on the event that they failed to notice the handshake linger for but one sway more than the others. And the music covered the nearly inaudible, soft "Hey..." from the redhead.

"Mai," came a male voice from behind as the caramel-haired boy approached them, "I'm sorry, but I have to go now."

"Aww, already Yuuichi?" the girl moped and she moved beneath his arm, embracing him from the side while feeling protected by his around her.

"Oh, this is my boyfriend Tate Yuuchi," she announced to the girls she was standing with who all gave him simple nods or waves, and he did the same for them.

A few more pleasantries were exchanged but then it became apparent that it was time for him to take his leave.

"I'm sorry, I'm gonna be late for my flight," he turned to the hosts, "Thanks for having me though."

The two nodded to him before Mai decided to walk him to their car. Now the group was six, soon to be four since the silence what followed Mai's temporary departure was rather awkward. It was clear that if they continued to stay like this the next group split would be between Shizuru and her friends, and Natsuki and Nao.

"Haruka, why don't we go get a drink?" Reito said, partially to do anything to break the tension.

However, he knew that there was only so long she would be able to be calm around Natsuki. It was best for him to take her away for now, and let her find the navy-haired girl at her own time. Without a word, the blonde took his hand and they broke off from the circle.

"Natsuki, would you mind coming with me for a moment, we're needed to play hostess for a while," Shizuru was next to step away from the group.

"Ah, right..." she sighed, "Sorry Nao, I'll be back in a sec."

And in a matter of minutes, what were seven was down to two. Two who were probably the least suited to be left alone together. Nao didn't even have a chance to scold Natsuki for ditching her before she was whisked away to do some errands. Although Yukino felt similarly, she was slightly more understanding of why they had to leave. Time passed, considerably actually, and the two still stood in their places just off to the side of the dancing area. They didn't say a word, and instead let themselves be hypnotized by the footsteps of the many people in front of them. Neither wanted to move.

-0-

On the other side of the room, Shizuru and Natsuki were standing on the edge of the wall, having decided to team up in order to avoid the incoming comments. It felt cliché; the way everyone came up to them all happy and oblivious to the facts of the situation. It just left both of them unhappy. Natsuki, because she was growing tired of being reminded of the idea of a marriage, she had just accepted having a friendship with this girl, and she didn't want to be broken into anger by the pressure of others.

Of course Shizuru noticed every detail of this, and wanted to spare Natsuki that feeling. It seemed that this was the most secure area of the party, or at least where they had gone uninterrupted the longest; allowing for some time to rest in the comfort of a slow song. The younger was the first to speak, looking out into the crowd at Haruka and Reito.

"They look good together," she said with a hint of kindness that had its own mystery: a mystery which caused Shizuru to, rather obviously, look at her with a strange expression.

"Reito and Haruka?"

"Yeah," now she was starting to smile.

"Look at the way they dance. It's like they understand each other completely. Like they're saying that they'll always forgive the other... It's sweet."

Shizuru could only nod along silently. She agreed that those two were perfect together, but this moment was all too bittersweet for her. She wanted so badly to dance that way with Natsuki. The girl looked to her side, watching the way the light bounced off emerald irises, startled when they looked back at her.

Without even noticing it, Shizuru had blushed at the sudden connection between them. Maybe it was just the adrenaline from an eventful night, but her heart was racing more than normal. Or perhaps it was because Natsuki looked so radiant. It was the navy-haired girl's expression that made her wonder though, since more than anything she seemed confused.

"Is something wrong?" Natsuki asked.

"You look... sad..."

Taken aback, Shizuru looked away shyly, feeling the weight on her heart even more than before. The mere fact that Natsuki noticed and cared to ask about her wellbeing only made her love her more. She didn't even know how to answer. Of course she could always lie, but she didn't want to lie to her, she cared too much about her to be deceitful; but...

"I can't be honest..." she sighed aloud.

"What do you mean? You can be honest with me."

"No... I can't... You don't understand."

"Try me," the navy-haired girl urged with a smile.

Shizuru looked back into those eyes; those eyes that made her so weak, but in the best possible way. It was hard to even remember the first impression of Natsuki by now, the harshness about her had completely disappeared and admittedly, it made her feel special. With a deep breath she straightened her body and took her leap of faith.

"I want to dance," she said clearly though with a hint of shame, "Like them, with you. I admit it."

The silence that followed worried her, but it didn't last as long as it felt. And Natsuki's response certainly wasn't what she was expecting.

"That's okay," she replied, albeit breaking eye contact and turning back to the crowd where she watched Haruka and Reito together, admiring their gazes, "I don't mind that you wanna dance with me. I just don't think it's fair..."

"Fair?"

"I'd feel like I'm leading you on, and I don't want to do that. You know I agreed from the beginning to this arrangement, but I still..." she sighed and rested her forehead in her palm while she tried to figure out her words, "You're my friend. And I don't want to do anything to make you think I feel differently if I don't. And because you're my friend I don't want to hurt you."

Shizuru went quiet again. There wasn't much more she could say. She was rejected and that's all there was to it. At least, that was until she caught a bit of Natsuki's words.

"_If I don't"_ She repeated to herself, "_If"... Such a tiny word can spring such hope... But she said it unknowingly, well I think so... But I... I don't know anymore..._

Natsuki broke the silence first.

"Sorry... I probably screwed up my words again; I didn't mean to hurt your feelings..."

"It's not that. It makes me happy that you care that much about not hurting me... but... Can I ask something of you?"

"Sure."

"... Let me dream?" she passed over the other girl's confused stare, "Just for tonight... Let me dream that we can be like them?"

A few silent seconds later, to her surprise she felt warmth around her hand. Shizuru looked up to see Natsuki only a few steps ahead of her, looking back with a smile as she led them onto the dance floor. The elder girl followed without a word, still too happily shocked by the gesture. It seemed that without a second thought Natsuki acted in order to make her wish come true.

_I won't forget this..._She told herself as she allowed Natsuki to lead her through the footwork to the gentle music.

"...Here..." the navy-haired girl whispered somewhat shyly, accepting the head that was rested on her shoulder, "At least until the song ends... you can have your dream..."

-0-

Meanwhile on the other side of the room, Nao and Yukino were still standing side by side in silence. While the latter was hard to read, Nao was more obvious in the way she presented herself, unaccustomed to feeling nervous. Her arms were folded over her chest in what she thought was a confident manner, although it only looked like she was trying to show off. What she was trying to show off it was difficult to say.

_What? I just don't wanna look stupid in front of the cute girl... Nothing wrong with that..._ Her muscles tensed, _Ugh whatever! Just say something! Make conversation!_

"Don't you wanna dance?" the redhead asked, referring to the fact that, like herself, she was wall flowering.

However it was misinterpreted. Yukino spun around, wide eyed and blushing.

"Do I want to dance with you?" she stuttered out in shock, her embarrassment rising with the length of time Nao looked back at her incredulously.

"...You want to dance with me?"

"Isn't that what you said?"

"No! I... Wait... Do you want to dance with me?"

"So you did ask me that!"

"No _now_ I'm asking you that!"

"Then what did you ask me before?"

"I asked if you wanted to dance!"

"What's the difference?"

Nao pouted, crosses appearing on her forehead as she turned her back to the girl.

"It was rhetorical..." she groaned, "I meant why is it that you aren't dancing?"

The brunette too turned so that they were now, for the most part, back to back.

"Oh..." she muttered, a tad crestfallen, but then glanced back at the redhead, "Why aren't you dancing?"

"I don't like it," the girl huffed, "Well, not to this kinda music anyway. I like more- Hey! You still didn't answer my question!"

Yukino stiffened again at the playful smirk she saw Nao give over her shoulder just as she was turning to come face to face again. The brunette turned too, but looked down shyly.

"I don't like to either... I was always forced to learn how as a child because of my family, so I grew to dislike it," her eyes peeked up for a split second, "... But maybe if it was to different music... I might like it..."

Nao raised an eyebrow, shifting her arms from over her chest to relax behind her head; although this presented her with perfect contrapposto.

"I, ah, I need some fresh air..." Yukino mumbled before trying to walk away quickly, but was caught off guard by Nao following her.

"Me too," the lime-eyed girl said, "Mind if I join you?"

"Oh, no I... I don't..."

"Great!" Nao pushed all of her awkwardness out in that one proclamation, allowing her the confidence to lead the way through the crowd and outside to the garden where only a few people were standing.

It seemed this was the designated cooling off area. Nao hadn't realized how hot it was inside the house until she stepped into the autumn air. It still wasn't enough to need another layer though, which was relieving. Already treating this home like it was her own, Nao hopped up onto one of the rocks at the edge of the koi pond and sat down, leaning back on her arms and looking up.

"Nice night isn't it?"

"Mm..." came the hesitant reply from the other girl who took to standing beside her.

"Oh, uh, do you want the rock?" Nao asked nervously.

"It's okay, you got there first."

"That doesn't matter, do you want it?"

"Well, it would be nice to sit for a bit... but I'm sure you need to rest more, you arrived before I did after all."

"...Share?" the redhead finally suggested with a lopsided smile as she rubbed the back of her neck before sliding over as much as she could.

At first Yukino was reluctant to accept the invitation. She had only known this person all of twenty minutes, and the fact that she _wasn't_all that nervous was what was making her nervous. In the end, she stepped up on one of the stone's edges and lifted herself onto the top where Nao was also sitting. That was until she slipped.

Not that it was of any danger to fall from that height, but as soon as she began to, Nao leaned over automatically to grab her and pull her back on the rock. It was only when the rush of the surprise trip wore off that they both realized they were in an embrace, with Nao's arms around Yukino's waist while she sat half on the redhead's lap.

_Whoa-Hoooomygod!_Nao mentally screamed as she looked up into Yukino's olive green eyes that were twinkling with the moonlight.

Yukino was frozen, suddenly very close to the mysterious, confident girl she spontaneously met at a party. That's all Nao should have been to her, Yukino told herself, but she still wasn't trying to get away. Both of them weren't trying to change this situation, and the more the other didn't move they each started to become more aware of what the tension between them that night was.

The brunette continued to hold her forearms up close to her chest, but when the fabric of Nao's shirt made contact with them, the muscles melted. The limbs fell softly over the other girl's arms, creating a path for the latter to move in closer, but slowly. The temperature of the brunette's cheeks was now so high that it could be felt by Nao at her close proximity.

"... You're cute," the redhead whispered, smiling innocently for a split second to throw off Yukino's preparation in order to get an unguarded kiss in.

It worked too. The brunette's tenseness was swept away in the instant their lips met, even if it was only a second before Nao pulled back.

"W...What...Why did you-?" Yukino inhaled deeply and tried to shake the dizziness out of her head.

"Because I like you."

"But... But we only just met..."

"So?"

"... How did you know I even liked girls?" she blushed and avoided eye contact.

"Because I'm psychic!" Nao replied with a comical grin, especially when Yukino turned back quickly with awe in her eyes.

"Really!?"

"Nope! Sorry, all I've got's intuition," she chuckled, "But it's darn good intuition if I do say so myself."

"It... It is..." the brunette curled up in herself a little, "Because... I wanted to kiss you too..."

"Want another?"

"Wha-?"

And once again the wily Nao snuck another kiss in.

-0-

Back inside, the set of slow songs had come to an end and were now picking up with fast waltzes; the likes of which Natsuki wasn't able to keep up with. Letting Shizuru go slowly, first from her sides and then from her hands, the navy-haired girl stepped away. It had even been for more than one song that they danced, but with every step back she took it felt like Natsuki was fleeting from her sight.

She wasn't more than three feet away, but all physical contact had stopped. Her dream was over, and that was clearer now than ever. Not only that, but this served to remind Shizuru of the part of herself she hated the most.

_I got what I wanted... Even more than that... But still I can't stand to have her leave me even a little. I'm reduced to a child with her... but I don't care at all... because all I can think about is how much I can't stand it!_

"...I'm sorry," the ruby-eyed girl muttered before swiftly turning through the crowds of people and walking away.

"Ah, Shizuru, wait!" Natsuki called after her, but she was already too far gone.

She didn't know what this sudden change was all about. They were dancing just fine and all of a sudden she just ran.

_Maybe the stress of the evening is getting to her... I can understand if she just wants to be alone..._

As unfortunate as it was that Natsuki was clueless as to the gravity of the effect she had on the girl's emotions, it probably was best for her not to follow just yet. Instead she looked around and found Mai who was standing by herself near the doorway, having come back in from walking Yuuichi to the car without knowing anyone but her two friends.

"Hey," came the familiar navy-haired girl's voice as she approached.

"Hey, where's Shizuru?"

"I dunno, I think she's tired. We were dancing for a bit and then suddenly she just left..."

"Wait, you danced with her?"

"Yeah? So?"

"Nothing... just last you told me you two were just friends, did I miss something?"

Natsuki raised her eyebrow.

"No... Friends dance with each other... It's no big deal."

"If you say so... Where's Nao?"

"Hm..." she looked around, "I dunno... Maybe she scored."

"Probably," she chuckled.

-0-

It was only about an hour later, when guests were beginning to leave that they got the answer to their second question. Nao had come in the back door following by Yukino, both of whom were clearly hiding something but were relying on the fact that everyone was too tired from the event to figure out what. They agreed that at least for now they would keep what happened a secret.

"There you are!" called Haruka as she intercepted Yukino from returning to the other group's gathering.

"We're leaving now if you want a ride."

"Ah, yes, coming!" the brunette replied skipping a bit in front of Nao before turning back and smiling shyly.

"I'll... see you again sometime?"

"Count on it," she replied with an ambiguous tone before winking and turning away to meet with Mai and Natsuki.

Luckily she was out of hearing range so when she came to the other two she was merely brought into their conversation. Although that conversation didn't last long before being returned to Mai asking again:

"Where's Shizuru?"

"I think I saw her by the bar actually," Nao replied, taking a quick scan around the room to see if her memory served her right.

"Yeah, right there," she pointed to the rather sulky figure sitting by herself, "Sheesh she doesn't look good..."

"Yeah, the pressure of social events like this really get to her," Natsuki noted.

"Are you sure that's it? I mean enough to be drinking like that?"

"I don't know, maybe? I didn't know she drank in the first place so maybe this is just usual for her."

"No way, you saw how much she worked to keep up her appearance with the guests," Mai said, "Natsuki go take care of her."

The navy-haired girl looked at her oddly.

"I think she's fine..."

"Wait... you look guilty," Nao eyed her suspiciously, "What happened?"

"What! Nothing, we just dancing and then she left to rest that's all!"

"Oh geez..." Nao smacked her forehead, "Don't tell me it's come to the point where _I'm_ giving you romantic advice? "

"What are you talking about? I told her from the start the reason I didn't ask in the first place was because I didn't want to lead her on."

"And what'd she say after that?"

"She-" Natsuki stopped suddenly, stuck in her thoughts, "...She said she wanted to dream..."

The other two sighed.

"Right, and when the dance ended she realized her dream did too. It probably meant a lot to her that you even let her dance with you in the first place."

"So... what do I do now?"

"Go take care of her you fool!" Mai barked, having gone into her protective mother mode.

Successfully persuaded, like a puppy that had done wrong, Natsuki strode over to where Shizuru was sitting; and for the first time felt heartbroken. It was only a little, and only for a split second, but when full of alcohol the girl's emotions were not at all hidden, and Natsuki hadn't even had the slightest idea how much was in there to begin with.

"Hey... are you really okay?"

"... I don't know..."

"Wanna go to bed? You can think about it tomorrow..."

"Yeah..."

"Alright then hang on," Natsuki instructed as she put Shizuru's arms around her neck before scooping her up in her arms and walking to the stairs.

The climb was a bit difficult, what with the elder girl rolling around in a stupor and all, but they made it to the top. Natsuki walked down to the end of the hall and used her leg to push open the door to the master bedroom. She only realized it then that this was the first time she had seen it.

A part of her had always kept from exploring the house further, her own dislike of the situation she was put in. But now that she was here, she took a moment to admire the size and luxuriousness of it. Not that it was too long of a moment; after all she did still have someone to take care off. She was about to leave it at just leaving her on the bed, but then her wrist was caught.

"Natsuki..."

"Yeah?"

She turned around to see Shizuru smiling at her.

"I love you..."

-0-

The morning brought itself in with a throbbing pain in Shizuru's head. She barely even opened her eyes before closing them again, groaning and rolling onto her other side. After a few minutes passed where she realized she was awake for good, the girl started to feel around, not quite sure what had happened; and when she found out, she froze. Despite the pain, her eyes opened wide with shock when she realized just how much of her skin was touching the blanket on top of her.

_What did I do with my clothes?_


	6. Who We Are

**VI - Who We Are**

Shizuru's breaths picked up quickly, even if it made her aching back muscles hurt more. She had to keep her eyes closed too, no matter how much she wanted to asses her surroundings. The girl began to shiver as well, both out of anxiety and from the hard hit on her nervous system last night by the alcohol. Slowly though, her hands felt around the sheets.

_I'm alone..._Shizuru thought to herself, starting to turn over in order to sit up, _Natsuki isn't in the room with me... That's good..._

Scarlet irises soon peeked out from behind tired eyelids as the girl became more and more awake. She sat on her bed, blanket wrapped around her exposed skin, attempting to sort through the chaotic thoughts that rushed through her mind all at once. She remembered very little of the party after her dance with Natsuki, which made sense, but it was her reconstructed visions of what happened that frightened her. Shizuru clutched her eyes and shook even more.

_I remember... Natsuki took off my clothes..._

She looked at the bed once more.

_Right... I was lying down..._

Her memory wandered to the clouded vision of the navy-haired girl hovering over her.

_Then..._

She saw and could even imagine the feeling of her shirt being removed but before she could allow the flashback to play out Shizuru shook her head. She didn't want to see anymore... She was too scared.

"I could never forgive myself..." she muttered, gripping the blanket around her tighter.

Her silence was soon broken by the sound of her stomach grumbling. With a sigh Shizuru fell onto her side once more, covering herself with the bedding.

_I can't face Natsuki... I don't want to go downstairs..._

However, despite her mental will to avoid the potentially awkward contact, her body eventually forced her to give in and get back up. The girl stood weakly, moving aside one of the curtains hanging from the canopy, holding onto one of the bedposts for support. A chill ran through her body when she dropped the cover back onto the mattress, leaving her skin to touch the cool air. To Shizuru's surprise, she found a set of clothing folded neatly on the chair by her dresser; something that she hadn't put there.

_Natsuki must have..._

Again another image jumped into her consciousness, although it only served to confuse her even more. The thought of Natsuki being kind sparked the memory of her face the previous night.

_She... was smiling when she undressed me... Does that mean she was consenting? Or am I making this up? It could have very well been a hallucination..._

She proceeded to dress.

_What if I did something and only imagined her enjoying it for my own selfishness? But..._She sighed, _What if my dream came true...?_

-0-

A few minutes later, Natsuki heard footsteps coming slowing down the stairs; and as they stopped in the kitchen doorway she turned to look into the bloodshot eyes.

"Morning," she turned from the counter to the island table with a plate of food in her hand, "How are you feeling?"

Shizuru was oddly stunned to see Natsuki already awake and cooking as if nothing at all had happened; since no matter what, if someone ended up undressed there was most likely some sort of awkward moment that came up. Nevertheless, she walked towards the stool and sat down with her arms rested on the table, groaning.

"My head..."

"Here," the navy-haired girl held out a strange looking... formula in a tall glass, placing it next to the food on the plate, "Drink that a little bit at a time, alternating with the food and you should feel better right away."

"... What's in it...?" the hung over girl asked while sniffing it tentatively.

"Well... a mix of stuff... Just trust me, it works. I've had to take care of Nao so many times after we've gone clubbing I know what I'm doing," she sighed to herself jokingly.

"Being the only one who doesn't drink in the group automatically makes me responsible for the others..."

With a weak smile, Shizuru did as she was told; taking sips of the tangy drink after her dry toast. At the same time she was watching Natsuki. It didn't really matter what she was doing, she just couldn't take her eyes off the girl. Her nonchalant behaviour, the longer it lasted, increased Shizuru's suspicious thoughts. She had barely any memory, and even if she was so thankful Natsuki was here with her, being wonderfully kind too, she still wanted to know the facts.

"Natsuki..." she placed the glass down on the table, "... I'm sorry..."

The navy-haired girl raised her eyebrow.

"Huh? What for? It's not really a big deal to take care of you; I was only joking before..."

"Not only that... but if I did anything last night to you... or said anything... I don't remember... so I'm sorry..."

Natsuki stood quietly as she finished washing the last of the dishes and placed them on the drying rack. She knew that she had to say something, at least to give her friend peace of mind but when she turned and saw how worried Shizuru was, the words wouldn't come. It actually wouldn't have been that difficult if she hadn't added, "or _said_anything."

_I can't tell her what she told me... She'd feel so bad if she knew she said she loved me..._

Forcing this one item back, Natsuki smiled and dried her hands, sitting at the stool on the other end of the table.

"You have nothing to apologize for. You didn't do anything to me last night that I didn't want to do."

Shizuru clenched.

"But what does that mean? What did you want to do that I allowed? Or did you accept what I did to you?" she began to shiver again.

"What? No, nothing happened..." she wasn't sure whether to sound relieved or not about this, "What I meant was I didn't mind you needing me to take care of you. That's all."

"But then how did I get undressed?" Shizuru looked at her frightened, "Why do I remember you taking my clothes off?"

"Err... because I did," the girl closed her emerald eyes when she grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head.

"You got overheated so you tried to do it yourself but," she chuckled a bit, "Sorry, just you looked really funny when you got stuck in your shirt, so I helped you out of it. That's all that happened... honest..."

And it was, aside from the confession that she opted to keep secret.

-0-

Close to an hour later, the two were now in the living room. Shizuru was lying on the couch resting and keeping Natsuki company while she cleaned up what was left over from the party. There wasn't much though, at least not compared to what the girl was used to; a crowd of businessmen weren't exactly the type to trash a house and leave it behind. In any case, this was a good balance for both of them.

Natsuki huffed and wiped her brow, dumping the last bit of trash she swept up into the garbage.

"Alright, done. Finally, I hate sweeping," she said as she walked over to the couch, "Mai used to do my cleaning for me, I hope I did a good job."

She sat on the armrest closest to Shizuru's head which she looked down upon.

"How are you feeling? Your face isn't as red anymore."

"Much better actually, that remedy really does work like a miracle... Oh, I'll help you take the trash bins out."

Natsuki grinned in response, but turned alert when the other girl started getting up. Instinctively, the navy-haired girl put her hands on her shoulders and pushed her back into the cushions.

"No no, don't get up yet. Today is all about resting, got it?"

Shizuru opened her still-tired eyes, seeing Natsuki upside down and was reduced to merely smiling in defeat.

"Anything you need, I'll take care of it for today..." her voice trailed off.

She wanted to add that it was to compensate for her actions at the party, for accepting a dance, but decided it would be best to let the topic rest. Her attention was also on the other girl's expression that still seemed to be hesitant about expressing her wishes.

"Actually," Shizuru looked away shyly, "Would you mind playing me a melody?"

"What?"

"On your viola... could you play me something?"

"Oh!" Natsuki's eyes lit up with excitement, much to Shizuru's surprise as she felt this was too personal a request, "Sure thing, just let me get it. I forgot I left it in your room last night."

"In my room?"

The navy-haired girl sighed.

"You were restless in your sleep so... I... Uhh..." she began to mumble.

"Natsuki..." their eyes met, scarlet ones flickering with trickery, "Did you play me a lullaby?"

With a huff and a quick turn to get out of Shizuru's line of sight, in order to hide her blush, Natsuki silently left the living room; leaving the former behind to smile pleasantly.

-0-

_Damn it! I did it again! _Natsuki cringed, _I shouldn't have said anything... she didn't need to know that... but now she's gonna be happy..._

She sighed, opening the door to the master bedroom.

_Not that I don't want her to be happy... I just don't want to be the one to make her happy... Gah! That's not true either! I just..._

With a groan the navy-haired girl fell to her knees by the side of the bed where she had left her instrument. She lifted up the bit of sheets that hung over the bed, looking underneath it for where she had hid what she was looking for. It was always better to keep such important things under furniture to avoid breaking them, especially when taking care of someone drunk.

"Gah! I pushed it too far," Natsuki closed her eyes and pushed against the bed as much as she could, reaching out for the case.

"Got it!" she muttered to herself, pulling out a wooden box... but not the one she was looking for.

"Huh? What's this?" the girl asked aloud, inspecting the dusty, aged, container that was definitely holding something inside.

It seemed rather plain in design, but charming nonetheless. Being none of her business, Natsuki slid it aside and went back to getting her instrument which was now in a better range and pulled it out from under the bed. The navy-haired girl coughed some dust out of her lungs and sat for a moment to rest her back. As the seconds went by, she started to feel an odd curiosity about the hidden thing she had found. Green irises glanced over to her right, staring at the box.

_No! I can't... I know better than everyone how important privacy is... but..._

Natsuki clenched her eyes shut, not wanting to watch what her hand was doing unconsciously. Giving into the temptation, she removed the lid of the miniature treasure chest in a careful movement and then slowly opened one of her eyes, and then the other.

_This still feels wrong..._

"Huh?" she leaned over to get a better look inside.

_What are these? It's just... random junk... some pictures, a few cards... okay dried flowers but I dunno maybe she likes them..._ _None of my business... Right! It's not! _

Shaking her head, Natsuki was about to head back down to Shizuru but when she stood she found the older girl standing in the doorway looking directly at her.

"I'm sorry!" Natsuki exclaimed, looking down shamefully; but given the silence it seemed as though Shizuru was just as surprised as she was.

"I only came up to see if you were alright. You were taking a while so I thought maybe you misplaced it... You don't have to be sorry for making me wait."

"Ah no... That's not it..." the girl sighed, "I looked through something that was yours. I don't know why I was so curious, but..."

Natsuki picked up the box and held it slightly out from her body.

"What's in here?"

Shizuru's eyes widened in shock for a second, looking intently at the item in the other girl's hands. It wasn't so much that she didn't want Natsuki to see what was inside, but that she hoped to keep it hidden from everyone, even herself. The things inside were really only of interest to her anyways.

"I looked and it's not much to me, so don't worry if you think I saw something personal, if you want I'll forget it... But just... the pictures..." she looked into Shizuru's eyes in genuine curiosity, "Why are they all of boys?"

The ruby eyed girl sighed and walked towards the bed where she sat down before motioning for Natsuki to do the same. She rested her back against the headboard and crossed her legs in front of her, taking the box from the navy-haired girl's hands. Blowing a bit of remaining dust off the top, she opened it again, looking into it sadly.

"I don't mind that you saw it... but to answer your question, the reason they are all of boys is because they were my suitors..."

Natsuki raised an eyebrow. Shizuru's expression seemed strange, even for her, especially if they were male suitors... obviously not her type. Not only that, but they all appeared to be quite young, children even in some of the photos.

"I won't burden you with this..." the older girl said quietly as she placed the lid back on but her hand was caught.

"...You... You're the one who's burdened," jade eyes sparkled with seriousness.

"Wanting to keep it private is one thing that I'll respect... but I know that look by now, that look like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You can't keep everything to yourself just for the sake of others... even me, no, especially me you have to be honest with... I want to know."

Shizuru looked into her eyes, silently searching them for a menacing intention, but she couldn't find any.

"... Really?"

"Yeah... I want to get to know you better. This is interesting to me... since it's about you..." she looked away shyly but her expression quickly changed to one of awkward surprise when she felt her body being pulled back from the edge of the bed and towards the middle where Shizuru was sitting.

"If you really do want to listen, then I'll tell you... I've never told anyone about these..."

She started with the pictures.

"This box is where I kept at least one thing from everyone I rejected. Most of them are pictures because they're easier to store but if I lost it I made sure to get one more thing from them..." she sighed "Even though I knew from the beginning they were wasting their time..."

"But why would you keep these?"

"Because I felt bad... They were honestly interested in me, some even cared about me more than just a business partner, but I always had to deny them. In time my parents' desire to pair me with someone became so frequent that I forgot their names and faces... Such a thing wasn't fair. They didn't deserve to be forgotten... I couldn't give them even the slightest bit of me, so I settled on giving them some place in my memory... but to be honest I even forgot about that box until just now..."

The two dug deeper inside, spreading out each of the items and observing them; a tear flowing down Shizuru's cheek.

"Some good this did... I still don't remember any of them..." she laughed mirthlessly, "They were all forced on me... not one of them was my choice... And it took a long time for me to even tell my parents why."

"You couldn't take them because they were boys?"

"It's not that I wasn't open to them because of it... in a few circumstances I even tried to turn myself... but it wouldn't work... I just wasn't attracted to them."

"Fair enough," Natsuki started to relax in the new atmosphere Shizuru presented: one that wasn't so tensely depressed, but instead more nostalgic with reasonable regret, "So what happened when you told your parents?"

"They were surprised at first, but not angry. For the most part they were accepting, and grew into it as I grew up and became more expressive. It was good though. It gave me the opportunity to, for once, be the seeker."

"Yeah," Natsuki laughed a little, "You don't seem like the kind of person who wants to wait around for some prince charming."

"Are you saying I'm impatient?" Shizuru replied inquisitively.

"No, I meant that you're too... driven. When you get going you can do anything... it's admirable really..." she turned back to the pile of gifts.

"So where are the things from the girls you rejected?"

Shizuru froze, hesitant as to how she would reply.

"Are they in a different box?"

There was still no response... in fact she couldn't bring herself to say it, resulting in Natsuki slowly coming to the conclusion on her own.

"... You... haven't rejected a girl have you?"

The other girl shook her head.

"So when you were presented with me... you just decided like that?"

Shizuru sighed and leaned her head back, closing her eyes in thought.

"Don't make it sound so fickle... I didn't choose you because you were the first one to show up... I just... never chose someone else," she opened her eyes, but still stared up.

"And the more you hid from me, the more interested I became. Because of you I got to chase someone, you let me experience something more special than I could possibly describe. If we had met right away maybe you would have just been one of many and I'd still be waiting... but... that isn't how things happened now is it? When my feelings developed I told my parents and that's when they drew up the contract with your mother..."

"... I had no idea..."

"Of what? That you could have easily avoided this?"

"... Of how much you've been through..."

Shizuru leaned forward quickly in surprise.

"Natsuki, you are the one who was caught off guard. The one who had to actually deal with this situation... I was part of what made it happen."

"Yeah but not only you... My mother... she entrusted me to you and your family... Now I see why," she looked into crimson eyes, "She didn't sell me to you... she knew that if something were to happen to her that you would be the best to take care of me."

"But still I-"

"You are incredibly kind Shizuru. You care more about people than anyone I know. Honestly," she waved to the decaying pictures and flowers, "I bet all of these guys have moved on and forgotten about you... but no, you continue to hold onto them because to you everyone, no matter who, has meaning."

Shizuru blushed, taken aback by the sudden parade of compliments.

"The fact that you chose me... makes me feel really special... and that my mother chose you makes me feel lucky, because I never would have met you."

"Natsuki..."

"But... This is all so complicated... And it makes it harder to be honest, and to me that's what's most important."

"One of your better qualities."

"Shizuru, I'm not saying this to get out of this... and I haven't been tricking you up until now just for this," Natsuki looked up with pleading eyes, "But I'm only going to break your heart! Over and over! You don't deserve that! If I'm honest... I-"

"No," Shizuru stopped her, "I know... You don't have to say it..."

Holding onto the silence for just a little while longer, the girl began to gather all of the things they had spread over the bed and put them back in the box. Then, with a contented smile, she slid it back under the bed where it had been. What caught her off guard though was what she saw when she leaned back up onto the top of the bed: Natsuki crying.

"Natsuki? What's- Why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry..." she wiped her eyes, "I'm just so torn... Having you in my life makes me feel so good, but I don't-"

She stopped herself.

"Just because someone is a good friend doesn't mean you should _marry_ them, and I have to remember that's what this is. I can't throw my values out the window; I'm still emotionally attached to them..."

"That's alright..." Shizuru said softly, "In the end we're back where we started. Now we're both bound by a contract to get married... and we do both want to... even if it's for different reasons. You still want to respect your mother's wish and I- Well..."

The girl stopped herself again, not wanting to explicitly say her feelings out of fear that it would make Natsuki discontent.

"... Shizuru...?"

"Hm?"

"... Last night, when you were drunk, you said it... That you love me," the navy-haired girl could literally see the other's heart stop briefly from fear, starting to fumble for words.

"But before you say anything! Let me talk!" she put her hand on Shizuru's shoulder.

"It makes me happy that you do, the only thing that hurts me is that I can't honestly say it back... and that's why I'm sorry... I've said and done a lot of things that, so I've been told, might have hurt you. And I'm sorry for those times too, when I should know better but I don't," she sighed.

"Shizuru... you're the first person who's ever loved me... I don't know how to act around such a person so I might screw up a lot... I just hope that you're patient with me because I'm really lost and confused-"

"And rambling," the older girl cut in with a gentle smile, "You don't have to explain yourself to me. What matters is that we're both on equal ground right?"

"What?"

"We're both happy being with each other," she said, patting Natsuki on the head to ease the tension

"That's all that I care about right now..." she started to lie down on the bed and closed her eyes once more.

Thankful that the topic was finally put to rest, Natsuki's eyes had dried and she stood up. With a deep breath she looked down at the resting girl.

_Right, she probably is still a bit sick from last night..._

"I still owe you a melody," the navy-haired girl said with a grin whilst getting her instrument into position, "I wrote this myself a little while after I started living here... when we were just starting to become friends."

"An original piece?" Shizuru asked with a composed but gleeful smile.

"Mm," Natsuki nodded, "You're the first to hear it."

The room then went quiet. A soft wind glided through the open window, Natsuki took a breath, and slowly began to fill their hearts with peaceful music.


	7. Everyone

**VII – Everyone**

A yawn escaped the navy-haired girl's mouth as the heat of the morning sun warmed the blanket sprawled over her body. Natsuki tightened her muscles and extended her limbs completely in a waking stretch, getting her ready for what was going to be quite a day; not that she knew it yet. The girl rolled up into a sitting position, still with the covers hanging off her loosely as she rubbed her eyes. She blinked a few times to adjust to the light, but widened her eyes sharply when she looked outside to see the sun directly above her in the middle of the sky.

_It's already noon? I slept in late..._

On the upside, she felt very refreshed when she stood up and started to dress casually to go down and eat. Natsuki strode towards the kitchen and began to fix herself a brunch, only noticing partway through how silent it was. She peeked around the house as her bread was toasting, looking for her...

_Roommate? Friend? Yeah I guess those fit... Anyways, where is she?_

"Shizuru?" she called aloud, but didn't get any reply.

The buzzer sounded on the toaster, catching more of the hungry girl's attention since she assumed that Shizuru had just gone out for a jog or something.

Natsuki sat by herself at the island table, munching away and peering out into the garden in their back yard. It was midway through November now and the chill was setting in. Nothing had frosted yet, but the navy-haired girl could tell that they would soon. In any case, the day was cloudy and brewing up a storm.

She yawned again and slid off the stool to stand in front of the sliding door. Her emerald eyes stared out into the vast land, land that she now owned. Her brows would still instinctively furrow at the thought. Things had been going rather well with Shizuru, but deep down nothing had changed in Natsuki's heart. It was fun to distract herself with a friendship, but when she thought seriously she remembered her situation.

_Good intentions or not... good for me or not... I'm still being given a huge responsibility that I don't want. I want a friend out of her, not a wife... I can't take care of another person the way a spouse is supposed to... and it feels awkward to expect that of her too. After all she's only a year older._

She sighed.

_But if I have to go through this with anyone... I'm glad it's her..._

Natsuki's train of thought was broken by a sudden crash coming from an unknown location. She spun around and immediately alerted herself to her surroundings. Her eyes darted all over the room but still couldn't decipher the location of subsequent noises. Slowly she stepped forward, out the kitchen doorway alongside the staircase towards the living room.

_Damn it where's it coming from?!_

She clenched her teeth and gulped as she listened intently. Even if she couldn't figure out the "where", the "what" was evident.

_Someone broke in..._

Just then, she stepped back a little and was poked in the side by a blunt piece of metal on the side of the stairway.

_A doorknob...? A door?_

She heard the banging again.

_Wait... downstairs? We have a basement!?_

Natsuki shook the surprise out of her head, the fact that she only just found out they had a whole other floor could wait until after she dealt with the invader. Quietly as possible, she opened the door and looked down; however the way the basement was designed gave her little view of the area. Again there was the sound of contact and in the blink of an eye a figure appeared in front of the navy-haired girl who immediately leapt into action, literally.

"Get the hell out of my house!" she screamed, jumping down the remaining steps and spinning to deliver a powerful back kick to the person.

However she hadn't expected to be caught in mid-air, ending up in a twist from the momentum. Natsuki cursed out loud as she came to a crashing halt on top of the person she had attacked, who was groaning sorely beneath her.

"It's my house too..." Shizuru said as she looked bewildered at the girl who was giving her a similar expression, given that their faces were almost touching.

"What are you doing?"

Natsuki blinked, still stiff from the adrenaline, but moved away quickly once she became aware of her position above the other girl. She stood up and offered a hand to Shizuru while using her other to rub the back of her neck in embarrassment.

"I uhh... thought you were a burglar..." she chuckled as she lifted the other girl to her feet before looking around at what their basement consisted of.

"No, just me," Shizuru light-heartedly laughed back, "Sorry if my training disturbed you. I might have been getting a little too intense."

"It's fine..." she was still a bit in awe, "I just had no idea we even had this. And here I was practicing in my room or outside this whole time..."

What Natsuki was looking at was a full size gym, one that took up the whole bottom floor of their house with everything one could imagine needing for training martial arts. She turned back to Shizuru, in uniform and catching her breath.

"You were really going all out."

"Not really, this is routine training... Which I have to get back to," she didn't want to seem rude, but her break was over and if she waited any longer her heart rate would decrease too much.

"Mind if I watch?" Natsuki asked as she took a seat on one of the steps, she wanted to see what it was that would make so much noise, especially for a defensive fighter like Shizuru.

"Go ahead, though it might be boring..."

Without another word, the girl sprinted toward a dummy that was hoisted on a loose stick. Sliding down low, Shizuru ducked under the extended arm as she ran, gripping its wrist and twisting it behind its body when she stood before forcing both of her arms outward to throw it a fair distance away; ultimately crashing into the wall.

Natsuki winced a little on the contact, even if it was an inanimate object she could imagine how much it would hurt if a real person were caught by that. Silently, she observed Shizuru repeat the process of getting the figure, setting it up and charging. If anything it was her fighting style that interested her the most, but there was something awkward about the training.

_She isn't attacking... she's using defensive techniques while running to mimic someone else's striking speed. Even if it is effective, it could get her in trouble later since she isn't going to be fighting something immobile like that..._

Natsuki continued to stare intently at the way Shizuru moved until she stopped briefly for another break.

"Hey, why are you training now anyways?" the navy-haired girl asked casually to the one approaching her.

"I'm entering this," Shizuru handed her a leaflet for a tournament, "Even though we aren't required to work until after the marriage, I've had my eyes on this trophy for a while now and finally the competition is coming here. Plus I feel it would be good to get out there again. Nine months out of the scene could be bad for business. I need to win something to remind people that our dojo is the best."

"Hm..." Natsuki continued to inspect it.

"You should enter it too," she stretched to pass the time, "... If you want to that is."

"... You know..." she grinned, "I think I will."

Natsuki said as she placed the sheet next to her on the step she was sitting on.

"It sounds like fun... and like you said, I need to re-establish my name in these circles."

Shizuru giggled a little.

"Shall we train together then? Although I wonder if I should trust you if we are going to be competing against each other," she joked.

"We'll call it a friendly rivalry, it's more effective for the both of us to train with partners so whatever I gain from it you will too," the navy-haired girl stood up, about to head upstairs to change into her uniform as well.

"Does that mean we'll be helping each other so that we both get to the top?"

Natsuki smiled proudly.

"Sure... But I'm still going to win."

"How can you be so certain?" again Shizuru was becoming intrigued by the girl.

"Because... I have a secret!"

And before she knew it Natsuki had disappeared up the stairs leaving Shizuru to wonder by herself what such a thing could be. Sure, she had duelled the girl once before, but that was much different; in a time when they couldn't even be considered friends. This was going to be a real competition with many other people they would fight against. It was in both of their best interests to get as far as they could, but as for first place...

_To be honest, I hadn't thought of out of the two of us who would get it..._

She sighed and shrugged to herself.

_That's if either of us even get to that stage, maybe some prodigy will show up..._

A few minutes later, Natsuki came down the stairs clad in her gi and stretching her arm across her chest. The sight of which took Shizuru's breath away like an immature schoolgirl, causing her to start blushing at the sleek navy locks hanging down from a ponytail. The elder girl finally got herself to blink and look away by the time Natsuki got to the ground floor. She had to stay focused. This wasn't only for a competition but a plan of her own.

"So, what is this secret you have?" Shizuru asked again with a sly grin.

"Well if I told you it wouldn't be a secret now would it?" Natsuki replied with her own version of the expression.

"Mou... we're supposed to be on the same team here... a friendly rivalry remember?"

"Still, this isn't something I tell people," Natsuki smiled confidently.

She walked past the chestnut-haired girl and onto the matted area of their gym. As expected, there would have to be some trickery involved to open the girl up, something that Shizuru was quickly getting used to.

"Fair enough," she followed.

"How about we make a bet? Best two out of three, if I win you tell me what your secret is."

Natsuki raised her eyebrow.

"And if I win?"

"Whatever you think is equal to me knowing it."

She thought hard on it, though not for very long.

"You get Haruka to quit hating me!" she smiled, satisfied.

"There's only so much I can do..." Shizuru chuckled nervously, "But I'll try my best."

"Just as well," Natsuki turned on her heel to face the other girl, "I'm gonna win anyways. What counts for a point? Contact or floor?"

"Hm... how about both? That makes things interesting, don't you think?"

She waited for the jade-eyed girl to nod in reply.

"Good... And again, don't be so sure of yourself!"

"Ahah! Whatever, go!" Natsuki commanded, sending them both towards each other at full speed.

Switching up her footwork at the last second, Natsuki moved into a horse stance, getting ready to use a backhand strike into Shizuru's side. To her surprise though, she hit nothing but air, and saw only a glimpse of her opponent back flipping away.

_I didn't even know she could do that... No time!_

Just like Shizuru, she could be quick on her feet, extending her bent knees at an angle to soar after her target. She may be fast, but Natsuki was stronger if she got the right amount of momentum behind a hit. That was her art after all; she was a striker, so a match against a deflecting type was perfect training for her. That said, the navy-haired girl thrust her fist outward in a basic punch, but quickly retracted it, knowing that if she were to get caught she would meet the same fate as the training dummy.

She felt it connect with the fabric of Shizuru's uniform, but judging by the obvious fact that the girl was still standing the force hadn't been enough, and so she followed with another in conjunction with a side kick. Despite the fact that this left her in a vulnerable position, Shizuru wasn't able to take advantage of it; she was the first of the two to fall.

While she was swift enough to raise her arms to block the pain, Shizuru was thrown onto her back. The older girl shook her head as she got to her feet, seeing that Natsuki was waiting for her.

_I can't let her get the better of me... If I get her twice in a row, quickly, I'll win!_

"Damn..." the navy-haired girl cursed and sighed, to Shizuru's surprise.

"What?"

"Floor _and_ contact remember? The point doesn't count," she stood up straight, resting one hand on her hip while scratching her head with the other, completely relaxed.

"I just realized that a rule like that is totally not in my favour... but whatever, I'll make do- Uwah!"

Everything went black for a moment as the younger girl felt the air rush out of her lungs. When her eyes fluttered open again all she saw was the light glowing around the face of a smiling Shizuru. She stared up, trying to assess her situation, eventually feeling her left arm pinned under her back. It was held there by Shizuru, who undoubtedly was taking a personal liking to the fact that she had Natsuki under her. Their bodies heaving together yet against each other powerfully; quite a contrast to the softness for the skin she held in her hand.

"Thank you for reminding me," she said in her most polite tone, "Here I was thinking you had just passed into the lead... And even if the rule is slightly in my favour, you letting your guard down was your own action."

In any case, Natsuki frowned at her momentary loss, growling even as she curled her knees too her chest. She had to be careful in her next manoeuvre, as it would enable her to both get out of her current lock and score her tying point, but could possibly seriously hurt Shizuru. Using the full range of her flexibility, Natsuki was able to plant both of her feet onto the front of Shizuru's ribcage; the safest place to strike, in this case, as the bones would protect her organs. Making sure her weight was distributed evenly to avoid breaking anything, the navy-haired girl threw her head back and cried out, extending her legs with enough power to lift Shizuru off of her, but not enough to send her flying.

That was the point. Natsuki grinned at her limbs' newfound freedom and now used the muscles at the backs of her legs to do a makeshift double drop kick onto Shizuru's hips, pinning her to the ground and acting as a fulcrum for the girl to lift her torso. She wasn't going to let it rest at sitting though, of course not. It took a lot of strength, but Natsuki was able to stand up, if only for a second before she took a crouching stance over Shizuru's shoulder, with her fist extended in a downward block that touched her mark.

"There... floor and contact... and we're tied."

She took a deep breath and stood up again before taking a few steps back to give them both some distance. While she was certain she could win, if she made another slip up, in any way, Shizuru could lock up her up again.

_How can I counter someone who specializes in countering? She's got to know every way in and out of a hold... I could try to beat her in strength or speed alone, but I'd say we're pretty much equal there so that's a stalemate..._

Jade eyes sparked for a second.

_That's it! She was just training how to be offensive... she only got me before because I was still, just like the dummy... That's what she's practicing._

Unfortunately for Shizuru, that in fact was her plan; and since Natsuki knew it she was about to fall right into the younger girl's trap. Darting forward, she used the exact same combination of attacks she had earlier, ducking beneath the navy-haired girl's arm, which was purposely outstretched to mimic what she was used to and then grabbing Natsuki's wrist. However, aware of this, the latter was able to twist her joint and be the one to grip her opponent instead of the other way around. Then, holding their arms parallel, all Natsuki did was kick upward; lifting Shizuru's leg with her so that they both were flipped backwards.

A loud "Ooof" was heard from the girl beneath her as the other had hit the floor with the weight of another body as well as the elements of surprise and loss. Shizuru remained motionless, arms spread out as she breathed. As soon as they fell and made contact for her winning point, Natsuki rolled off as quickly as possible to avoid injury; but being elite as they both were she could be fairly confident that Shizuru was not too damaged by it.

"Sorry about that," the green eyed girl said with a grin as she knelt over the other, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah..." Shizuru sighed, both from exhaustion and defeat.

"You got me though... I'll talk to Haruka... And you get to keep your secret..."

She looked away dejected, an expression that caught Natsuki's attention for the second that it lasted, before changing to a smile as the girl sat up, resting her arm on her bent knee.

"It'll be interesting to see which of us will come back with the trophy."

Natsuki hummed thoughtfully as she helped Shizuru to her feet before turning away, wanting to go sit on the bench to rest.

"Then again, maybe neither of us will... this competition allows people from all styles, so it's not a sure thing that it'll be down to the two of us for first place."

"Great minds think alike..." Shizuru muttered, following Natsuki to the bench.

"Hm?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking that very thing earlier."

"Funny," the navy-haired girl took a gulp of her water then placed the bottle beside her in order to rest her arms on her thighs.

Shizuru, on the other hand, was leaning the opposite direction with her arms rested on the back of the seat they were on, looking down at the girl with subtle adoration. It didn't matter if she lost, or if she never found out that secret. Some things are meant to be secret. As long as it would end with Natsuki by her side she didn't care about the rest. Slowly her fingers began to wander, extending from her hand, reaching towards the loose strands of azure, glistening from the light amount of sweat.

"... My mother..." Natsuki's muttering broke her concentration, enough so to pull her arm back and reel in her emotions to pay attention, "... She taught me the secret..."

"Hm?"

Natsuki continued to stare rather emptily across the room. Perhaps deep down she was hoping to lose, her voice seemed to be weighted with emotion.

"I've never told anyone this... it's not a secret because it's special... but because I just couldn't say it. I suppose I could bring myself to smirk and act like I was laughing if I were to bring it up... but that'd only be if I could walk away after."

She took a sip of her drink.

"... I can't walk away from you though..."

"Natsuki... you don't have to tell me if-"

"No, let me... please... I've kept it to myself for so long... now that I'm on the verge of letting it out I don't want to stop..."

Shizuru looked down sadly, wanting in some way to comfort the girl, but without knowing the problem she had little to work with.

"Nao and Mai haven't been my friends since childhood or anything... only since after my mother's death... so they never met her... They only knew what I chose to tell them about her..." she sighed and looked up into ruby eyes, "My mother was blind."

Shizuru's voice stretched a little in her throat, signifying her confusion with what Natsuki had said. It didn't seem like a big deal, not something worth keeping so closely secret. Sure it would have been difficult with a blind parent... but then again, the way Natsuki spoke it seemed this wasn't the end of things.

"She was just as fine a fighter though, if not better, than my father... no... she was better... that's what he hated..." she clenched her fist.

"Karate isn't just about skill... it's a philosophy... and by doing what he did he ditched that along with us!"

"What exactly happened with your father? If you don't mind my asking..."

"I was young at the time, so I don't remember it too vividly... only that the thought of him makes my skin crawl... he didn't love her... I bet it even went so far that he hated her. He hated my grandparents too because they're the ones who forced him into the marriage with my mother."

Shizuru nearly choked. That statement was enough to frighten her about Natsuki, for the girl's emotional state. She had no idea that all this time Natsuki had such a negative arranged marriage situation held so close to her heart, and a fear of becoming like someone she clearly hated.

"My father couldn't stand that he was forced to be with a disabled wife, he didn't believe that anyone blind could possibly be as good a fighter as someone sighted... and when my mother proved him wrong he became too bitter at left us," she scoffed mirthlessly.

"Of course not before ruining our lives first... My mother used to teach me privately, without his permission, how to fight using senses other than my eyes. When he found out he gave up on us. He saw me as an unfit heir and my mother as the reason his legacy was fading away."

"... You were her child, not his... is that what you mean?"

Natsuki looked up, somewhat surprised at the accuracy of Shizuru's guess.

"Yeah, exactly... I never really understood his reasons... I guess he was just too selfish to share leadership of the dojo so he ran away to America to start his own over there... At least that's the last I heard of him," she sighed.

"That's my secret. That's how I've become unbeatable... I have to be to honour my mother, and she gave me the skills to be able to do that... She's what's most important to me..."

Shizuru sighed as well.

"So important that you're still willing to go along with this arrangement after what happened to your parents, merely because it is her wish?"

"Yeah..." Natsuki smiled, "Actually... as time goes by I slowly understand it... Not only am I my own person so I won't become my father, but I have a great person to model myself after."

"But... aren't you afraid?"

"... I am... or well... I was... but now like I said, I'm beginning to trust more in my mother's decision. I was too caught up in myself before – about how this would affect my life in a way I didn't want – to realize that this was just another part of what she asked of me in order to carry on her legacy, and I'm totally willing to do it."

She grinned, a tear running down her cheek.

"It might seem silly to focus so much on her, but you didn't know how great of a person she was, both as a person and as a mother... she didn't seal me into the same fate as her parents did to her... they thought they were giving her to a strong protector of a man, it was a different decade then too after all, and they made a mistake. My mother knew better though and gave me to you... it's just the way of people in this line of work, and it's too much a part of me to quit... I was going to be engaged to someone chosen anyway... and in the end..."

She stood up and looked at the sitting Shizuru seriously.

"... I'm glad it was you."

_Because unlike my father... you do love me..._

The latter merely stared up into emerald eyes. She was indeed serious, a bittersweet result, but still Shizuru could only smile in reply. She couldn't be upset knowing that, at least for some reason, Natsuki did in fact want to marry her. Maybe it wasn't for the reason she wished, but it was now understood that it wasn't only her that refused to break off the engagement, but Natsuki as well.

"And of all the people for my parents to find for me," the scarlet eyed girl said as she stood, "I could not imagine anyone better suited for me."

She smiled and stepped past Natsuki, heading towards the stairs to go up and change out of her training uniform, waving nonchalantly.

"After all, I get bored easily... and you never cease to amaze me."

And in the second it took for Natsuki to react with a chuckle, the older girl disappeared. The navy-haired girl waited by herself for a while then, ignoring the sound of pipes as presumably Shizuru had turned on the shower. The silence was calming, and she couldn't get the happy expression off of her face. Even if she was crying, it was only because her emotions were rushing; she finally felt relieved that someone knew about her mother, and further astonished that of all the people it was whom she least expected.

"... You have no idea how much you amaze me too..." she whispered.

-0-

"What are you doing here?" Natsuki moaned with a comically exhausted expression as she stared at the redheaded girl on her front porch.

"Why so bitter?" Nao snorted, "Got burnt by the hotness of your fiancée?"

The door slammed in her face.

"Aww come on Natsuki! I was just joking!" she knocked again and the door opened with the still displeased girl on the inside, "I'm cold and hungry!"

"I move to a cabin in the woods outside of the city and you still find the means to mooch off me? That's just unnatural," she rolled her eyes while moving aside to let the freezing girl inside.

"Hey there!" Nao greeted with a smile to Shizuru who was off to the side of the kitchen preparing dinner before once again blowing on her hands to warm them.

"So... Why _are_ you here?" Natsuki asked again, this time in a more casual tone as she took her friend's jacket and hung it on the back of the door.

"I got cancelled on," Nao answered, hopping up onto one of the stools and spinning around once before stopping to stare at her green eyed friend, "So I decided I'd come hang out with you guys..."

She grinned mischievously.

"But if you're in the middle of sucking face I'll leave," she winked.

Shizuru simply froze so hard that she snapped the wooden utensil she was stirring with while Natsuki was already in the midst of dragging the redhead out to the front door by her ear.

"Ow ow ow ow! Okay okay I'll stop! Promise!"

Sighing and tossing her back onto her seat, Natsuki walked back into the kitchen and leaned against the wall waiting for any instructions from Shizuru.

"Who cancelled on you?"

"Ah, er, no one, just a date, not important," Nao stuttered, suddenly desperate to change the topic.

Even if the second Natsuki had coughed "karma" under her breath meant she had to return in order to save her honour.

"Hey! I didn't get stood up okay! She just had somewhere else to be!"

"Yeah, and isn't that what you say every time?"

"...Yeah... but damn it she's different! She didn't just ditch me!"

"Fine fine don't get so defensive-"

"And speaking of ditching-!"

_Oh we're still on this?_

"Are you ever gonna come to band practice? Midori-chan said that there are only so many times you can miss before she has to kick you! I've been able to cover for you this long by saying I've been overseeing your practicing, but the concert is coming up and if you don't show then she won't have a choice."

Shizuru turned around from her work, raising an eyebrow.

"Natsuki, you have a concert coming up? Why wasn't I invited?"

The navy-haired girl sighed shyly.

"I... wasn't gonna go..."

"What!?" Nao smacked the table.

"You have a damn solo! You can't quit on us!"

"Would you stop being so loud!"

"You're the one who's yelling now, you moron!"

"No you are! Dumbass!"

"...Ahem," Shizuru cut into the squabble, "We're all civilized adults here..."

"Nuh uh!" Natsuki pointed enthusiastically at Nao, "She's younger than me! She's not an adult yet!"

"So!? Anyone who says "Nuh uh" can't be an adult either!"

Shizuru sighed. It seemed that they had gone off into a tangent again. Not that she knew much about Natsuki's relationship with Nao, but she figured that if this was a person the girl would invite for a meal their fighting could only be seen as endearing. In any case, it seemed that they both had a similar method for stopping the argument: food. Dinner for three was served and with their mouths full it prevented yelling.

"Seriously though, were you planning on telling us you were quitting?" Nao asked, munching on her portion.

"Well I wasn't a hundred percent sure I would... I mean, it's a big decision but I think it would be best," she sighed.

"I'm getting married and going to have a dojo to run, I won't have the time to realistically put into it. Then I wonder if I'm gonna miss it too much and if I should just find some way to keep on with it."

"Natsuki," Shizuru interjected, "You should stay. I'm going to be working too, and I don't mind taking on a little extra if you get to continue playing."

"But..."

"Really Natsuki... you have a wonderful gift with music. I can't allow you to give up on it for my sake. After all I benefit from it too," she smiled, "I can't very well ask you to play pieces just for me if you couldn't be a part of the band."

"Are you sure?" she got a grin and nod in response, allowing her to make one of her own.

"Alright!" she turned to Nao, "Tell sensei I'll be at the concert, and I'll prove to her that I'm still good enough to stay."

_Heh now you suddenly come back? The power of suggestion or the power of Fujino?_

At least this time Nao was smart enough to keep this observation in her thoughts.

"Wait, shouldn't you ask her first?" Shizuru asked, earning some giggles from the other two.

"Nah, Midori-chan is weird that way. She'll like it better if she puts all of her hope in Natsuki for the night of the event."

"Yeah, she's kinda poetic in life."

In time the trio had finished their meal and were now all sitting together on the couch. Nao to the far left with her legs up to support Natsuki who sat somewhat in the middle with her feet on Shizuru's lap who was one the right, carefully watching their interaction.

"By the way, why don't you call her Midori-chan?" Nao asked.

"Because," Natsuki groaned, "Then she calls me "Na-chan" and then in grows into "Hime-chan" and-"

"How cute!" Shizuru beamed, poking Natsuki on the head, getting her to pout in the adorable way that she loved, "Hime-channnnn!"

"Aww damn it... not another one..." despite her depressed tone, in the end the navy-haired girl was smiling at the way they were. She forgot about her subtle love of camaraderie; and the fact that her past and her future could sit side by side was all too comforting in her eyes.


	8. OMFG

**VIII – OMFG**

"Why must you always bring up that story?" Natsuki groaned as she reached for another slice of pizza, trying to ignore the laughter from her two redheaded friends sitting around the coffee table with her.

"Because it's hilarious!" Nao answered, trying to calm herself.

"Really," Mai continued, slightly less hysterical, "It's not so much that you lost a hundred sets of fancy lingerie in one day... but that you had that much in the first place!"

"And the fact that you cried about it for three straight days."

The navy-haired girl cringed and rolled her eyes, swallowing her food.

"But still, _every_ concert night? Don't tell me it's become a tradition..." silence fell over them, "... It is a tradition isn't it?"

The other two nodded, and once again Natsuki sighed.

It was the night of her redemption, or so she saw it; not that she was in any way nervous. But still, she had to put a bit of extra thought into this concert since it was what would decide if she were to stay in the band. As with every concert night that had passed, it would consist of a rather festive preparation dinner at Natsuki's house, followed by the concert, before returning for a celebratory party afterwards.

However, this was unlike any other preparation they had had. Instead of it being just the three of them, there was also Shizuru and her group of friends; invited as part of the girl's promise to make Haruka become friendlier. It was actually going fairly well. On the other side of the room, where it connected to the kitchen, the foursome stood around the room talking in a more serious manner.

"Okay, so is she treating you well?" the blonde asked.

"I know you don't want me to act out, so before I make any promises I want to make sure I won't have to be mad."

Shizuru sighed with a lopsided smile.

"Natsuki has been very kind over the past couple of months. It took her a long time to warm up to me, but once she did we started becoming good friends," she held up a peaceful expression, though unfortunately her friend was trained to see past it.

"I saw what happened at the Halloween party," she declared bluntly, "I know she hurt you."

"No she didn't..." Shizuru looked away.

"Actually it was that night that she was nicest to me... She put up with my lack of restraint despite being clueless in love, and took care of me when I was sick the day after. We've even been training together... We're quite good as friends."

The others could hear the difficulty accepting this in her voice, but in a second the girl regained her composure.

"If you say so..." Haruka shrugged, worn down enough, "If you're asking me to, then I'll give her another chance. But I'm still not gonna stand by if she does anything wrong again!"

"You should though," Reito interjected, tranquilly acknowledging his wife's shocking displeasure with the statement, "Not to say that I want you hurt, Shizuru, but don't you think it would be best for you to work on your relationship with Natsuki at the pace you know best?"

The girl nodded, still leaving Haruka to fume a little by herself.

"I appreciate your wish to protect me, but Reito is right... After all, I do have a plan of my own," she waved her hand nonchalantly, turning around to join Natsuki and the others, "And you know how I am when it comes to plans."

The male merely chuckled a little at Shizuru's fleeting grin and at Haruka's expression of defeat.

"Damn, you always have to disagree with me don't you?" the blonde grunted, folding her arms across her chest and turning away from him.

"I wasn't necessarily disagreeing with you," he placed an arm on her shoulder to gently turn her back around, "Think of it as learning by experience. If you constantly step in to defend Shizuru from Kuga-san, you'll end up taking her place in this whole thing; and that's something nobody wants right?"

"I guess you're right... Besides, what good is it gonna do her if I'm the one who knows all about Kuga?"

Reito sighed into a smile.

"Yes, exactly..."

_That's what I said..._

Haruka looked over to where Shizuru was talking with said navy-haired girl and the other duo.

"Well just because I accept her doesn't mean I have to like her whole crowd!" she huffed.

Until then Yukino had been silent; resting her eyes mainly on the floor or her fidgeting hands when she wasn't trying to make eye contact with Nao. However, this comment definitely caught her attention. She felt a bit cold inside, fear, about what Haruka was going to say; knowing that she couldn't stop her.

"Now now Haruka, you know very well that friends come as a part of the deal, after all that's what Shizuru is asking of us. Besides Tokiha-san is quite pleasant to talk to and seems to care about Kuga-san in the same way as you care about Shizuru."

"Fine, but what about the other one? Have you spoken to her at all?"

By now the brunette's entire focus was on her ears and what she was listening to.

"Actually no," he thought to himself for a moment, about to speak again when he was cut off.

"Exactly! She's impossible to approach! Like she's trying to be-"

"Excuse me..." muttered Yukino before Haruka could finish, making a quick escape from the conversation.

She couldn't handle with hearing anyone say such things about the girl, especially Haruka who was always a little too harsh in her choice of words.

"Hey, are you okay?" the blonde asked, confused, but the girl had already gone.

"What was that about?"

At that same moment, on the other side of the room, Yukino's disappearance didn't go unnoticed by the girl of whom they were speaking. Making a mental note of what direction she headed, Nao quickly cut into whoever was speaking, saying she was going to get dressed for the concert, and left before waiting for any reply. The three she was standing with thought it odd, but not enough to directly observe where she was going. Instead, it reminded Natsuki and Mai that time was catching up with them.

"She's right," the navy-haired girl said, looking at the clock on the wall, "We have to go soon so we should change too."

"I left my stuff in your room," Mai added, already following Natsuki there with Shizuru last behind them going off to her room further down the hall.

-0-

"So... just between us, how are things really?" Mai asked, back turned to Natsuki as they both were changing into their fancier uniform of white blouses with black ties and skirts.

"Fine, why?"

"Just making sure. I worry about you. It's not like you were jumping into this like Shizuru-san was, and last I saw your friendship was on shaky ground... what with the whole "being too nice" thing you were doing."

"We're fine," Natsuki repeated.

"Why are you so defensive?"

"Huh?" the navy-haired girl turned around, finished dressing, and sat on her bed, "I am?"

"Yeah, did something happen?"

"No... Well... yeah but nothing big. We talked out a lot of things, and I think we're progressing well. She accepts that I see her as a friend, has a bit of a hard time but it's not like I blame her. And I'm fine with the fact that she loves me."

"It doesn't make you uncomfortable?"

"Only in the way that I have to be more careful about what I do and say... but the feelings themselves... it actually makes me happy..." she smiled, cheeks lighting up subtly.

"Oh? Now that I never thought I'd hear from you. I guess you_have_ been making progress," Mai grinned, facing Natsuki and then rolling her eyes, "But you still can't do a tie properly..."

"Oh be quiet, it's not like I need to do one any time other than concerts."

Just then there was a knock at the door and upon the automatic "It's open" reply, Shizuru came in. Stunning as usual, she even phased the eyes of the two girls, freezing them for a second or so before Mai smiled and walked out of the room, leaving them to have some time alone before their departure.

Shizuru watched with amusement in her eyes as Natsuki continued to fumble with the piece of fabric around her neck.

"Tch..." the girl grumbled, failing again and then turning to Shizuru trying to pass it off as casual, "Could you do it for me?"

The elder girl felt like she had been struck for a split second. Just when she thought she could behave normally, the slightest request would shake her senses from the inside out. All Natsuki was asking a momentary superficial favour, but everything in Shizuru's mind screamed "opportunity to be close." Gulping down her insecurities, she moved closer, nearly floating on her steps and proceeded to do the proper adjustments.

"Thanks," Natsuki finally said, sounding like an alarm in the other's mind to remove her lingering hands from the girl's neck.

"How am I coming along with Haruka?"

"Better than I expected," she answered, relieved to have a subject to change to, "If it's okay with you though I'd like to go to the theatre in their car so I could have more of an opportunity to talk you up."

"Sounds good," Natsuki opened her viola case.

"You can go wait downstairs, I'll be there in a sec. I just gotta do a final check before I leave."

With a nod, Shizuru took her exit and Natsuki finished looking over her instrument. She smiled proudly. She was happy that she decided to stay. It hadn't really occurred to her yet that it was pretty much all because of Shizuru's encouragement. She was too caught up in the evening.

It was rare that she got a chance to show off her talents with the rest of the orchestra; and while Shizuru enjoyed hearing her play on her own, her instrument was certainly one more suited for accompaniment. It was too sombre of a quality unless it was backed up by something else; which made her confidence in her solo all the more important. It had taken some work, but Natsuki was able to persuade Midori into letting her have it if she agreed to have the flutes play as well at a lower volume, and as the girl anticipated, it brought a nice uniqueness to the piece.

_I'd definitely miss nights like this..._

With that, she packed up her things and left the room in a hurry, thinking that she was last. However, when she passed by the bathroom of the hallway she heard a voice behind the closed door.

_Nao...? She's still in there?_

"_And just... when Haruka-chan..."_

Natsuki's jaw almost completely fell off when she heard Yukino's voice. Not only was Nao still in there talking with someone, but of all people the shy little girl who was always trailing along with Shizuru and her friends? Needless to say, the navy-haired girl couldn't refrain from eavesdropping this time. It was her best friend after all, and what she continued to hear only enticed her to keep listening.

-0-

"Just don't listen to her;" spoke the redhead as she took the brunette's hands in hers, but she laughed somewhat.

"I'm not really her type. I know you didn't wanna stick around and listen, but she probably just said I would be a bad influence on anyone. On Natsuki, and therefore Shizuru, that's all. I don't make a very good first impression."

"You did with me..."

Nao giggled at that, thinking she had made a complete fool of herself the first time they met.

"But even if you did give her a bad first impression," Yukino looked down shyly, "She doesn't know that you're so much more than that."

"And she doesn't have to. She isn't the one I'm dating."

There was a moment of silence.

"We _are_ right?"

"Yes! Of course!" Yukino stammered, turning her face up quickly.

"Ah, good," Nao smiled, "I was a bit worried when you cancelled on me... I thought you were maybe having second thoughts all of a sudden."

"Not at all! I'm sorry... My parents said that they wanted to meet with me and I tried to get out of it but-" she stopped when she felt a finger on her lips.

"You don't have to explain. I know that you have a difficult relationship with your parents... and it was probably best that you went to have dinner with them instead of telling them you had plans with me."

She laughed.

"Now there're some people who wouldn't approve. Haruka's one thing, but your parents... wow... at least from what you've told me they would probably hate it."

"But like you said, no one else has to know..."

They both nodded and Nao looked up in thought.

"Funny... we've been going out with each other for almost a month now and they haven't noticed," the redhead chuckled.

"... Do you think we should tell them?"

"Well, it's up to you. I'm fine with keeping it a secret," she smiled mischievously.

"In fact I _do_kinda like it being hidden... But if you need to tell someone I won't mind. Just let me know so that if they ask I won't end up lying."

"Mmhmm... Mm," she hummed as she was being kissed.

-0-

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Natsuki was biting her tongue to keep from exclaiming something out of sheer surprise. At first she thought that maybe, on the off chance, they were just better friends than she knew, but dating?

_And for a month? Wait... they only met at the Halloween party... Since then!? That's where she was..._

She remembered when her friend came up to her and Mai at the end of the night then smacked her forehead.

_They even walked in together... I totally didn't see it..._

Just then the doorknob started to turn, and the navy-haired girl dashed down the stairs as fast as she could. She needed to get this out, but on the other hand it wasn't her business in the first place so she knew she shouldn't gossip. In a last desperate attempt to make a decision, she chose to leave it up to fate.

_Okay, if the first thing I lay eyes on is a person, I'll tell whoever it is! Anything other than a person and I'll show some restraint... I seriously hope there's someone out there!_

But, as her luck would have it, she opened the door to see everyone already waiting in their respective cars. The girl's head drooped sadly, taking it as a sign to in fact keep it entirely to herself, at least from the others. Frigid in her steps, she got into the car with Mai, drumming on the back of the passenger's seat nervously.

"Hey Mai, can I switch with you? I really need to talk to Nao."

"Ha! You're gonna have to come up with something more creative than that if you want to ride in the front!"

"I'm serious!" she grit her teeth, "Come on! Please!"

"Nope!"

Natsuki threw her arms up in the air and clenched her fists.

"Damn it! Damn it! Fine!"

_I can talk to her before the concert..._

-0-

After what felt like hours to Natsuki, who was stuck in the back with their instruments, both sets of cars arrived at their destination. The navy-haired girl would have to act fast if she wanted to get to her target in time. The second they were parked, she jumped out of the vehicle and ran around to the driver's side ready to pull Nao out, when another familiar car came up beside them.

"Hey! Tate's here!" the redhead said with a smile, waving to her friend's boyfriend as he got out and met with Mai.

"You made it!" the latter yelled happily as she jumped into his arms, "You surprised me!"

"Heheh yeah, I was able to get the weekend off from training to fly back and see you."

_You want a surprise? I'll give you a surprise!_

Natsuki fumed.

"Wow you flew across the country just to see her concert?" Nao winked and nudged his arm, "You must like her more than a friend."

A cross appeared on Natsuki's forehead.

_You're one to talk!_

Despite this short delay, it seemed that it was actually going to lead to a better opportunity to get Nao alone. Mai would be distracted with Tate and the other four would be all together. Not wasting any more time, Natsuki snatched Nao by the wrist and pulled her towards the back door where they were to enter.

"What the hell!?" was all she could scream to a rather shocked Nao, who in all honesty had no idea what her friend was yelling about, before their boisterous conductor slammed open the door.

"Oi! Nao-chan! Bring your instrument inside before it gets messed up!"

"Umm, Midori-chan... I play the flute... it's really Natsuki and Mai who have to worry about the cold..."

"Oh... right! Then Na-chan! Mai-chan! Get your stuff in here! Nao-chan come help me with the seating plan!"

"... Shouldn't you have already done that?"

"Nevermind!"

"Right away sensei..." the navy-haired girl grumbled.

Her plan foiled for now and she took hold of her viola before taking her walk inside, only noticing at the last moment that Shizuru was walking right beside her.

"You're acting very strange..." she commented, and for some reason this was the last straw for Natsuki.

She couldn't say another word with what was on her mind.

"Shizuru! You have to keep this totally secret!" she took her behind the stands where the musicians were to set up.

"I think... I know... I... Nao... Yukino... GAH!"

Shizuru raised an eyebrow at the girl rambling before her.

"What about Nao and Yukino?"

"I heard them... kissing! Before we left!" she looked into crimson eyes pleadingly.

While taken aback for a second, Shizuru was more in disbelief than not.

"That's not possible; I mean they hardly know each other..."

"They said they were dating! And besides! What else would the two of them be doing in the bathroom alone when they thought we were all gone!?"

That did it. The auburn-haired girl was still for a moment before bursting into an uncharacteristic fit of laughter. Natsuki did her best to try and silence her, but it was for the most part useless given that, like herself, Shizuru could hardly imagine them together.

-0-

In front of the stands now, where pretty much all the other musicians and their friends were gathered, the couple in question was standing next to each other, faking coincidence. As they were all talking, the first to notice their behaviour was Tate. He kept finding himself glancing over at them to make sure he saw right until finally he leaned down to Mai's ear.

"Hey, are those two together?" he whispered beneath the rest of the party's conversation.

"Who?"

"Nao and the girl she's next to?"

"Nao and Yukino? Ha I think you're seeing things... there's no way they could ever-"

Right on cue, the pair's entwined hands accidently slipped from behind them and into the redhead's view for a second before hiding again.

"Oh my God! Natsuki really did need to talk to her!" she whispered back, before dashing out of their circle with Tate in hand but was blocked by Midori.

"Mai-chan, we're about to start so all of your friends need to go to their seats now."

"I- but-!" she stopped for a moment, "_I_ can still find Natsuki before it starts!"

"Yeah... I was wondering why you were taking me with you..." Tate said with a bit of laughter before giving her a quick kiss goodbye and joining the others on their way to the audience's position.

With Mai running around backstage to find the navy-haired girl, and her walking with Shizuru up to the front where they would part ways, the redhead was finding herself in a dead end; and then the time for her to keep looking and run out before needing to get into position to play.

Meanwhile, when Reito, Haruka, and Shizuru started to follow Yuuichi to their seats, it was the blonde who first turned back to look for Yukino. And when she did, it ended in her nearly fainting. When they had thought everyone was gone, there was Nao and Yukino, in the shadows of the hallway kissing goodbye.

"What the f-!" ironically one of the trumpeters chose the exact moment of Haruka's vulgarity to test their instrument.

Reito looked at her, wondering what of all things in a concert hall would make her swear, but when he turned he caught the sight of Yukino and Nao's hands brushing away as the latter walked onto the stage.

"Oh..." was all the boy could muster before their friend came towards them, apparently ignorant to the fact that all of her friends now knew about her relationship with the flutist.

"Don't say anything!" he urged to his wife, whose almost-frenzy was cut off by one last call from the even louder conductor for all non-participants to leave the stage.

Smiling rather gleefully, the brunette practically skipped past them to their seats where she was conveniently placed between Shizuru and Reito, shielding her from any comments from Haruka. Not that it didn't stop her from trying. At first the blonde was going so far as climbing over her husband in order to reach the girl, but once the lights dimmed, he was able to calm her down; reminding her that this was a sophisticated event, and that talking during the performance would get them both kicked out. So with a sigh, she fell back into her chair and prepared herself for a long wait before she could finally confront Yukino.

-0-

Still behind the curtain, Mai had gotten to her place near the back of the orchestra, but luckily Natsuki was between the levels of her and Nao, within an earshot.

"Natsuki!" she whispered as loud as she could, catching the girl's attention.

"What?" she watched her friend proceed to do a bunch of flailing hand motions, but getting the gist of what she was saying.

"Yes! I know! And Shizuru knows! But Nao doesn't know we know!"

"So we have to wait until the concert's over to ask her?!"

"Yes!" she paused, looking down at Nao and then at the curtains opening before turning back to Mai.

"So play fast!"

Much to the surprise of both groups of friends, during the time that the music was being played, all of their anxiousness faded away. It was magical how once the sound hit them they all just stopped. Nothing mattered now that wasn't a part of the flawless performance. Yukino watched Nao play with a sweet smile gracing her features; and Shizuru stared amorously, caught in the wonder that was Natsuki's solo. Her heartstrings were mimicked by those on the girl's instrument, as if she could feel every note change an emotion inside her, but her eyes were glistening with overbearing love. Even when her solo ended and her melody melted into the rest, Shizuru could still pick out which exact one was Natsuki playing. She didn't know how, but she wasn't doing it with her ears.

_I can just feel it... more than anything... there's one viola amongst all of those that I'm used to... one that's played for me many times before..._

She remembered the first day she heard Natsuki sitting outside in their garden practicing, the same day they exchanged in softer conversation. It was something she would never forget. She couldn't. Not after this night where even with her social world spiralling around her she was pulled from it by Natsuki's talent. No matter if the piece was serene or dramatic; she would always know this particular sound as one of comfort and happiness.

-0-

The audience blinked as the lights above them fluttered on at the end of the concert; the music now replaced the sounds of people standing and putting on their coats, followed by their footsteps exiting. But those who were friends and family of the participants merely stood still and waited for them to come down from the stage.

And while most were calm and patient, this particular bunch took the first chance possible to all simultaneously turn to Yukino. Shizuru and Reito quietly understood, and Tate wasn't even sitting in their row due to his unexpected arrival, so that essentially left the brunette at the mercy of her blonde friend who at long last was able to express herself.

"... What?" she asked nervously, unaware that she had been seen.

"What?! You know what I'm talking about!" Haruka barked, flailing about like a maniac, even if Yukino only stared at her in even more confusion.

"...I really don't..." she laughed awkwardly.

"You and that girl! You kissed!" she pointed emphatically at the person behind her.

A motionless silence fell over the four of them, and stayed that way until Reito gently readjusted the aim of her arm from an old man two rows ahead to Natsuki's flame-haired friend walking off stage. In that moment Yukino froze, not knowing how to react at all.

It wasn't like she had ever been caught red handed before in any circumstance, and this was far bigger than an average situation... particularly for the awkward relationship she had with Haruka. Luckily, the other two were both aware of this and could help her out, mostly in remaining calm themselves and show that it wasn't as big a deal as they had initially made it out to be.

However before the brunette could formulate her words, Nao approached them casually; having walked a fair amount faster than her other friends unconsciously, wanting to meet up with Yukino of course.

"So did you like the show?" she asked.

She was still at a far enough distance so it couldn't be clear to whom she was directing the question. In any case, they were all relatively quiet aside from Haruka who was about to start yelling again when Yukino stepped out in front of her. The blonde blinked at the girl's unusual confidence as she walked towards Nao, embracing her from the side.

"Wha-What are you doing?" the redhead stuttered.

"It appears we've been caught..."

" Eh...?" she was still faking discomfort.

"Haruka saw us kiss before the concert," she said with an odd tone of humour.

"Oh..." despite her anxiety with the blonde's glare, Nao relaxed and rested her arm around Yukino's shoulders, keeping her protectively at her side.

With a deep breath, she locked eyes with Haruka and revealed her own determination.

"Right... We're dating."

"Oh no you don't!" cried the navy-haired girl from a distance.

She ran up to them as fast as she could with her instrument over her shoulder; unfortunately leaving Mai behind, dragging her larger one behind her as she raced after her friend. Nevertheless, they were all caught off guard by Natsuki's loud arrival, heaving her breaths.

"No way! I've been keeping this in all night! You don't get to tell them and get the glory when I'm the one who's been hiding it for you!"

"Well," Shizuru commented half-heartedly and laughing, "You told _me_ as soon as you could."

"You told?!" Nao snapped.

"Hey! You're the one fooling around with her in the first place!"

Nao rolled her eyes.

"Fooling around?" it was Haruka's turn again.

"Is that what you're doing with her?"

By now Mai had caught up, just joining in time for Nao's reply.

"No, I'm not," she said sternly, looking at everyone around her and gently holding Yukino closer, her last gaze falling on Mai and Natsuki.

"I know that's what I'm used to doing... and that's who I used to be. I admit it; I'm not ashamed of it either. But now is different..."

She grit her teeth and clenched her eyes for a moment before looking down into the brunette's; then smiling, she looked back at Haruka.

"I'm not messing with her... I love her."

Everyone around her suddenly shut their comments, each waiting to see who would be the next to speak. Even Nao could feel Yukino inhale a quick gasp from inside her cover, but what she didn't expect was for her to take a step back, running her hands down Nao's arms to hold hers, then tilt her had softly to the side.

"I love you too," and without care, she lifted herself up to melt their lips together; albeit only for a moment before turning back to Haruka who was, for once, shocked silent.

"Haruka-chan... you of all people should be happy..."

"... What?"

"Happy that a person who could break me away from you actually exists."

Shizuru and Reito moved their eyes away sadly, while Nao only held her smile.

"Haruka-chan... no... Haruka...," she said confidently, removing the familiar suffix with pride, "Before I met Nao-chan, I didn't think I could ever love anyone other than you... and I even made myself believe that I would be okay like that..."

"Yukino..."

"At first I thought that I might have just been trying to replace you, but I was wrong," she looked at Nao, "I love her for her..."

And then back at the blonde.

"Haruka... you have been surpassed."

Natsuki and Mai stood on the sidelines, completely unaware of the fact that there was this history; while Shizuru and Reito were standing more on the playing field, waiting for Haruka's reply. It was a strange occurrence, but once in a blue moon the roles between these two would reverse, and whenever Yukino would speak with resolve, Haruka was rendered silent in thought. At long last, her face resurfaced from staring at the ground to look at Nao seriously.

"The same rule goes for you as it does for her," they all knew she was referring to Natsuki, "I'll start things over, but if you ever let her be hurt... You're gonna have to answer to me."

"Then we won't have a problem," the redhead grinned, "Because before anyone lays a finger on her they're gonna have to get through me!"

-0-

"Well that certainly was a hectic night..." Shizuru said as she walked out of the theatre into the street followed by Natsuki.

The after party was cancelled in the end, since the other six wanted to be alone in their respective couplings, leaving these two to head home on their own. Luckily their home wasn't all that far of a walk from the town's edge, and given the nice weather they were both content with taking it leisurely.

"I know, who would have thought those two would get together? But Nao's like me, she doesn't throw words like 'love' around carelessly so this must really mean something... I'm happy for them," she replied, "I just hope Haruka doesn't cause as much problems for them as she did with us..."

"Mm... I know she won't," she stood at the corner, waiting for the light to change.

"Sure?"

"Yes, purely for Yukino's sake."

"Oh right... so wait, are they exes or something?"

"Hah, no. Haruka and Reito were married at an early age, but they were each other's high school sweethearts. Meanwhile Yukino was the third wheel to them, desperately trying to hold onto whatever little piece of Haruka was left. I don't think I'd ever seen someone be so..." she tried to find the right word, "Self-destructively in love as she was then. So for her to be free of that, Haruka will do anything to ensure that it lasts."

"Why?" Natsuki stood next to her.

"Don't get me wrong, it's really nice of her, but I just don't get it."

"She feels guilty. Of the four of us, Haruka has the deepest sense of honour by far. She blames herself for a lot of what Yukino went through at that time. She even said once that if it wasn't for her, Yukino wouldn't be in that much pain."

"That's not how it was though... She should at least know it wasn't her fault..."

Shizuru smirked.

"You'd do well to take that advice."

"Huh?"

"Never mind, there's no point in dwelling on mistakes for which no one's at fault," she turned to gaze softly into Natsuki's eyes, "Even with everything going on, tonight was still about you for me."

"Really?" the girl blushed.

"Mmhmm, you were radiant," Shizuru continued to use her alluring eyes to hold Natsuki in place, even when she leaned down to place a soft kiss on her cheek.

The navy-haired girl remained still, but not stiff, allowing for the brief contact before watching Shizuru walk past her periphery. Turning around quickly, Natsuki lifted her fingers to the warmth on her face without thinking; watching the figure of the other girl stride briskly across the street. She remained entranced for no more than a few seconds and then trotted up ahead to avoid being left too far behind. The two walked side by side to their home, their peaceful silence broken only by a simultaneous shiver at the chilly wind that brought with it the first tiny snowflakes.


	9. Dare You to Move

**IX - Dare You to Move**

It was a regular day in early December, with a gentle frost covering the thinning blades of grass in the outer garden. It was a time of rest for everyone now that the concert was over, at least for a few days before both Natsuki and Shizuru would have to return to their training for the upcoming competition. That said, it didn't stop them from a refreshing dinner at the dining table that was situated directly next to windows leading to the peaceful outdoors.

"It's getting cold," Natsuki commented, blowing a stream of hot air onto the window and watching it fog up, before touching her finger to it and beginning to make a design of some sort.

Shizuru chuckled.

"You don't like winter?"

"Well, not so much that I don't like it... I just prefer summer that's all."

"Ah," the older girl looked outside at the darkening sky of the early night, "Winter is actually my favourite season."

"... That's a little depressing..." Natsuki said with a lopsided smile.

"Why?"

"Well winter is seen as the dreariest of seasons, so for someone to say it's their favourite says something pretty bold about their personality."

Shizuru looked back at her with intrigue.

"Well, I like it. When I was little I used to love playing in the snow," she grinned, with a spark of innocence that caught Natsuki's attention.

"You still do don't you?" she laughed.

"I do... but unfortunately the life of an adult doesn't allow for such things."

"Ah come on, you can play in the snow if you want," the navy-haired girl munched on her food, "What's anybody gonna do to you?"

She had a point there, Shizuru agreed mentally. In the privacy of her own home she could really do whatever she wanted, and even then it wasn't like playing in the stuff was a crime. However, instead of admitting she was wrong, she merely chose to remain silent for a while, watching the beginning of a soft snowfall.

"So why did you join the orchestra?" the ruby-eyed girl asked after the momentary pause in conversation.

"Huh?" it seemed like a sudden topic.

"Oh well I read somewhere that music can help the grieving process, so I joined a little after my mother died," she chuckled, "Man, I was so bad at first."

"Really? It's hard to imagine you not playing well..."

"Hah, thanks, but you've only heard me now after years of practice. When I first started it was on the violin and I could never get it right, but I loved the sound of the string instruments so Midori-sensei suggested I try out for the viola opening and surprisingly, I got in."

"And that's where you met Mai-san and Nao-san?"

Natsuki nodded.

"It's kinda funny. Even though I joined to help not be depressed, I was pretty much a loner. I tried to keep everyone away from me because I didn't want to have to tell the same story of why I was sad over and over again... but Mai was the only one to keep trying to talk to me because she saw a similarity between us, that we had both lost precious people," she smiled with comfort.

"And one time when we were practicing this piece I just broke down in tears... and Mai was the one to help me; the first person I felt I could depend on."

"I'm glad you have her," Shizuru replied.

"Me too... Nao's the stranger story though. She joined a year after I did and when I was finally coming out of my shell, openly hanging out with Mai... And the second she showed up I saw myself in her. She was doing all the same things I was," she laughed, "Even going so far as to try punching me in the face when I tried to help. But it turned out it was a misunderstanding, and that she was Mai's friend from work who she brought specifically to talk to me."

"Why?"

"Well, Nao and I have similar pasts. Both of our mothers died when we were young, and our fathers were less than dependable. She was trying to make ends meet when she finally got a job at Mai's store. And just like me, Mai got her to socialize a bit more, but she still needed some help from someone who was more in her position than Mai was."

Shizuru looked down sadly, unsure of what to say. As far as she was concerned her family life was what would be considered normal; and compared to these two, she could hardly relate to that deep part of Natsuki. Her insecurities were eased when she looked up again though, seeing the girl smiling happily. She wasn't brought down by the loss of her mother, but instead uplifted by meeting her closest friends.

_That's what she remembers..._

"In a way we think fate wanted us three to be together. Nao and I are connected by our pasts, she and Mai are connected by work, and after meeting her I found out that Mai a sales associate at my favourite store! It was so weird!"

Shizuru's attention perked up again.

"What store would that be?" she quirked at Natsuki's sudden blush and silence.

"Umm... Mai works at a, err... lingerie store..."

"...And that's your favourite because?" she raised an eyebrow, trying to suppress giggling.

"Ah yeah... I haven't told you... I sort of collect them," she saw the strain on Shizuru's face and sighed, "You can laugh if you want..."

And she did. Not for very long, but she did have to let out some of her amusement with the revelation. Given Natsuki's harsh exterior she hardly expected such a feminine hobby from her; however the girl was also full of surprises so she couldn't be too shocked. Her scarlet eyes met with emerald ones, focused again on her original intent; about to speak when Natsuki beat her to the punch.

"Why do you ask though? About the band?"

"Ah, no reason," the girl defended herself, "I'm just curious about you that's all."

"Alright... Anyway I'm done," she picked up her dishes and brought them to the sink before passing by the dining room again, "I'll be upstairs playing video games if you need me."

Shizuru gave a slight nod in response but continued on her current train of thought. Her curiosity about Natsuki was honest, even if she did have her own little part of the plan. It all served to render her decision for the following day.

-0-

The next morning Natsuki had set out early to take a relaxing walk through the forested area around their house. It was strange how isolated it was, but it was one of the few benefits of this arrangement that she had liked from the beginning. Aside from being close to roadways to ride her bike, the girl didn't like living in the city, not compared to the seclusion this place provided. There was only one worn trail, and for now she would stick to it, even though she intended to explore further one day. The navy-haired girl stopped at what appeared to be a pond that was beginning to freeze over. She had been outside for a while now and needed to take a rest.

"I've never come this far before," Natsuki spoke aloud, kneeling down to touch the frigid water.

_I wonder if Shizuru's seen this..._

She then dusted off the thin layer of snow from a large rock in order to sit and scan the area further. This pond must have been beautiful in the summertime when it flowed from what looked to be a waterfall. By now it was too frozen, but there was definitely a water source coming from over the hill.

_When summer comes I'm definitely gonna swim here..._

Inhaling the scent of the outdoors in a deep breath, the girl stood up and started her trek back to the house. It was a rather long walk until she stopped at the small hill to the side of the cabin, nestling it in the woods. The navy-haired girl waited up here for a few minutes, leaning her side against a tree and closing her eyes thoughtfully.

However, those thoughts were becoming distracted by the strange sound of a poorly played melody coming from below. Curiously, Natsuki opened one eye and confirmed its direction before hopping down from the wooded area and walking up to her front porch. While the volume increased as she approached, its quality did not improve, further intriguing the girl. Peeking inside, Natsuki slowly opened the front door to see a large piano positioned in the far corner of the dining room. She also found out why the notes were off key.

"Shizuru...?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow, her sudden presence causing the older girl to stop her attempt at playing rather harshly and look up with a certain fear in her eyes.

"Ah, Natsuki, I..." she didn't know how to explain.

"You bought a piano?" it was a rhetorical question of course; Natsuki was far too busy admiring its sheen and smooth surface.

"Yes, I thought it would be a nice addition to the house..." she paused.

"Well it is... but why?"

Shizuru continued to be quite shy, or rather she had a legitimate fear of having become too overbearing for Natsuki to handle. Still, she would rather face her reaction than lie.

"You just... seem to enjoy music so much. And I enjoy it when you play too, so I thought... maybe..."

"You want to learn how to play piano?" the navy-haired girl's enthusiasm confused her.

"Yes... and I was hoping that you would teach me as much as you could?"

"Of course!" Natsuki's eyes lit up excitedly, "This'll be great! We can play together too!"

Pleasantly surprised, Shizuru only stared as the other girl ran upstairs to fetch her own instrument and some theory books. Natsuki on the other hand was blinded with pride for the moment as she set up everything she needed, but when she had finished she noticed the strange aura around Shizuru.

"What is it?"

"Ah... no, nothing, sorry."

"No don't gimme that, I know when something's wrong with you. Just tell me."

"Well... I was worried about your reaction. I thought you would be angry with me or afraid of me... Thinking that I had crossed a line."

"Because you bought a piano?"

"Basically... yes... I wasn't even sure when I did, but I decided to go for it."

Natsuki smiled.

"You're reading too much into things again. I'm not mad at all, really. No one's ever wanted me as a teacher before so I'm actually really happy that I inspired you."

Natsuki lifted her own instrument to rest on her shoulder.

"Now let's start with this: basic tuning."

-0-

Over the course of the next few hours, the two had been doing some very basic training; mostly consisting of Natsuki showing Shizuru a note on paper and then playing it for her of the viola, then guiding the latter's hand to the proper key. At first Shizuru was becoming faint by the familiar contact between their fingers, but grew to savour it instead of being overwhelmed by it. She paid close attention to the distinct sounds and did her best to memorize where they went on the visual scale.

As for Natsuki, she was merely trying to be as good a teacher as she could be. She wasn't a pianist after all, so there were times when she erred as well, but it served to creating ice breaking laughter among them. It was unfortunate that they were suddenly interrupted at dinner time. In the middle of playing a short tune, Natsuki startled when she heard the doorbell, having become focused in their work. In fact, she was even a little frustrated that they had to stop since all in all it didn't feel like that much time had gone by.

Shizuru was the first to stand up and answer, leaving Nasuki to put her things away casually... that is until she heard who it was. The girl's emerald eyes darted around to the doorway when she heard the recognizable voices of the other's parents.

"Otou-san? Okaa-san?" Shizuru was just as surprised really.

"What are you doing here?"

"We just figured we would stop by to check on you; to see how you are doing," her father said as he stepped inside freely and removed his coat.

"You don't mind if we stay for dinner do you, my dear?" asked her mother who followed.

"Oh... no, I don't mind, it's just surprising that's all," just then Natsuki came up from behind, in a way hiding behind Shizuru.

"A pleasant surprise I hope?" her father said as he looked around the living room at what minor decorating the two had done.

"Is your fiancée still locked up in the guest room?"

"Hiro!" his wife, gave him a light scolding tug on his arm.

"What? I just asked a simple question..."

Rolling her eyes, Shizuru moved aside to reveal Natsuki, much to the navy-haired girl's displeasure. She would have rather stayed hiding behind Shizuru all night if that's what it took to avoid them... after all their first meeting did not go that well.

"Oh look she's downstairs socializing, what a surprise!" Hiroshi was only joking, but his rugged tone made it hard to tell.

"Father, there's a chance she may take offence to that you know. Besides, you already knew we were getting along didn't you? After all, you had how many guests sent here for the Halloween party?"

Shizuru was quick to capture anyone in their words if they were going to make Natsuki uncomfortable.

"W-we are," Natsuki stuttered as she took a step ahead and bowed, "I also want to apologize for how we met last. Since then I've come to a much better acceptance of my role in this arrangement."

The girl lifted her head to see that both of Shizuru's parents had actually taken her seriously. It felt strange, too easy in a way, to be forgiven for her behaviour. Still, the couple seemed genuine. On the other hand, no matter what the circumstances, this was essentially Natsuki's first real meeting with them and needless to say she was nervous about making a better impression.

There was also a hint of challenge posed in Hiroshi's tone when he spoke of her initial rejection of the arrangement; not insult, but patronization. In her heart Natsuki had already decided to accept the challenge, ready to prove that she wasn't just some kid who would run away when something went "wrong" in her life... why she felt this way she didn't really know.

-0-

By the end of the evening meal, Shizuru was gifted with the pleasant surprise of Natsuki warming up to her parents. When they first arrived she was definitely worried, but by now the atmosphere was comfortable enough for her to leave the dining room to clear the dishes; not having to supervise the table for the safety of either side. Despite the many jabs given by her father, Natsuki was staying on her toes, sometimes even going offensive and teasing him back.

There was something comforting about Hiroshi's good natured humour that made the girl happy; just like she wasn't presented well the first time, she had also gotten a misinterpretation of his personality too. For some reason she had always pictured him to be cold and uncaring, but in fact he was her ideal father figure: someone who wanted to protect his child from any harm, which was why he had been intimidating earlier. A few moments later she joined Shizuru in the kitchen with a big smile that didn't go unnoticed.

"That was unexpected," the older girl said, "I thought as soon as they showed up you would rush through dinner and hide again."

"Come on, give me a little more credit," Natsuki chuckled while she started putting the clean and dried dishes back into the cupboard, "I'd stay just to redeem myself."

"Right, but that's not why you're still here is it?" she smirked.

"It was at first, but somewhere along the line I kinda forgot about it. They're both a lot easier to talk to that I thought parents would be. I wish your dad was mine," she said light-heartedly.

"Well he will be soon," Shizuru responded on reflex, stopping her words a tad too late and instantly looking over to see Natsuki's response.

"Yeah I guess so," she wasn't particularly displeased, luckily, but far from exited.

Just then their conversation was saved by Shizuru's mother announcing that they were going to leave. The pair was finished their chores anyway and escorted them both to the front door. By the time they were done dressing for the outdoors Shizuru was giving each of her parents a farewell hug, but ended up laughing at the innocent way in which Natsuki was smiling and waving goodbye to them; and then at the fact that it was reciprocated. What she first thought was going to ruin their nice day of playing music instead added a whole new dimension to their relationship.

Closing the door, Shizuru followed Natsuki to the couch in the living room. While the navy-haired girl flopped down, her exhaustion catching up to her all at once, the elder one sat on the backrest and looked down. A part of her wanted to speak, but it seemed as though Natsuki was caught up in a sudden heavy thought stream; which she was.

Now that the excitement was over, she was left with an awkward feeling. It was like the happiness was strange, or that it led to something strange. Natsuki knew there was no bad intent by the visit, but part of her felt threatened. It was cemented now that Shizuru had something Natsuki wanted, and the only way to get it was to marry her; and her sceptic side interpreted it as a form of blackmail. Her rationality was in control though, trying to get her emotions to settle on the positive side.

_I'm... I'm gonna have a family again..._

A smile graced her features, and in time a small tear of happiness slid down her cheek.

"Natsuki...?" Shizuru was unsure what to take this as, was she just weighed down or did something actually go wrong?

"Hm?" she felt a delicate finger wipe the tear away, "Oh don't worry, it's happy."

"For sure?"

"Mm," the navy-haired girl nodded and sat up, "It's just one of those times when you suddenly feel really lucky."

"Good," Shizuru patted Natsuki's head, ruffling her hair a little as she stood up, "Shall we continue our practice then? As much as I enjoyed a visit from my parents, I'll admit I was a bit sad that we were interrupted."

"Me too," Natsuki replied as she stood as well, "And really, I know I already said it but just to be sure: I'm happy that you wanted to do this with me, so no worries, got it?"

Shizuru grinned back, glad for so many things; from the chance to have something for them to do together, to the fact that Natsuki cared about her feelings. There was also the gradual change in behaviour that her subconscious mind noticed, and that consciously she attempted to push away; the thought that Natsuki was becoming very comfortable around her.

-0-

"That doesn't sound right..."

"Hey I'm trying my best! It's not my fault you want to start with such a hard song!"

"Mou... Natsuki is being mean to me!" Shizuru fake-whined.

"Ahhhhh damn it!" Natsuki rolled her eyes as she, once again, went back to looking over the sheet music for the piece Shizuru just _insisted_ on learning to play.

It was a rather childish request but the younger girl decided to appease her.

"We have to go through it slowly at first so you get used to the way your fingers move... I have to say though, it's pretty incredible that you can already tell which note is which when I play it after only a week."

"I'm a fast learner," she replied with a grin as she went back to following the notes on the page.

"Right now I'm playing your part with you... well, as much of it as I can... but see here," Natsuki opened up her book, "My notes are different, and that's what'll make it sound good when we play together."

"The melodies complement each other?"

"Yeah, but don't worry about that just yet; for now just play along with me, but look at the notes on the sheet so you know how to read them."

With a nod, Shizuru placed her fingers on the keys and listened for Natsuki's cue to begin. In a few seconds the latter led in the first bar of the piece to create the feeling, and then the pianist followed. At the moment their goal was to get through the song in one shot, however without the repeats or paying too close attention to the volume.

They were incredibly close to reaching that goal too but just before they were about to finish the front door opened. The navy-haired girl grit her teeth in frustration at first but quickly remembered that Mai had in fact called to say she would come by to pick up some things she had left at their house on the night of the concert.

"Hey," called the redhead as she stepped in, "What'cha up to?"

"Trying to teach Shizuru how to play Ensei," Natsuki said with a sigh as she placed her instrument in its case for the time being and then walking over to greet her friend.

"Ensei? Don't you think you should start with something a little easier?"

"Hey, it wasn't my idea," Natsuki shrugged.

"Now now Natsuki, didn't you just say I was a better student than you expected?" the elder girl said with a jaunty smile as she came into view.

"You are," the navy-haired girl replied.

"But I stand by the fact that this isn't the easiest of songs to learn on the first try... Anyway," she picked up a bag from behind the open door, "Here's the stuff you left."

Mai raised an eyebrow.

"You don't want to hang out for a bit?"

Natsuki continued to express her frustration, though in a bit of a hypocritical manner. She wanted Mai to know that she was feeling disrupted, but given that she wasn't sure why it bothered her all that much, she tried to pass it off as a joke.

"Well you know how I get when I practice, how I hate being interrupted and stuff..." in fact her face was starting to lighten, ever so slightly.

And Mai, having her own inner trickster, took no shame in exploiting it with a bluntly honest response.

"No, actually come to think of it you're always the one who wants to take breaks," she looked up thoughtfully.

The words didn't go unnoticed by Shizuru either; however she chose to not say anything and see where this went first.

"What? No way, come on you know what I'm talking about! Remember that time... when..." and of course since there wasn't ever such a time the girl was at a loss for words.

"I'm only messing with you," Mai said with a sly smile, "I have some things I need to do anyways so it's not like I could stay long..."

"It's because I'm teaching!" Natsuki continued, still on the train of thought that was trying to come up with reasons why she was so frustrated.

"Ah, I get it," the girl nodded along, "I'll leave you to it then."

And then with a casually polite wave, Mai left the house; but not one step down the front porch did she immediately pull out her cell phone and send a text message, all the while grinning.

-0-

Over the next hour, the two musicians did finally get to finish the most basic version of the piece they were trying out, even adding in what was originally left out. In all her years as part of an orchestra, Natsuki hadn't seen someone who could pick up the technique so quickly. Granted the hard part was over. Learning the notes was what took the week, now it was just up to practice in order to play at the proper speed and proper volume. However, it seemed that for now Shizuru's learning was at a limit. At the same points in the song her fingers would slip from the correct position.

"You need to rest a bit or your hands will cramp up," Natsuki said as she rested her viola across her knees.

"I thought you didn't like to take breaks when you were teaching?" she teased in reply.

"... Stupid Mai..." the navy-haired girl grumbled under her breath for a second, "Besides this time a rest is part of the teaching. You have to know when to stop."

"Ah!" Shizuru winced in pain when she tried to rub her hand, "I see what you mean... I didn't even notice until now."

"Yeah..." Natsuki sat and watched the girl make a few more attempts at easing her pain, but by the third or fourth time she figured she had to help, "Here, just relax."

Without a second thought, the girl took hold of Shizuru's hands and proceeded to massage them as gently as possible... which in many ways made it practically impossible for her to relax. Shizuru was actually shock stiff at this point, trying to at least loosen the muscles in her hands so that Natsuki didn't start to feel as though her efforts were futile; even if a part of her came to the logical, but impractical, conclusion that if her hands were always cramped then Natsuki would have to stay holding them forever.

Fortunately, just like before when she was being taught the basic keys on the piano, Shizuru was able to adapt to the contact in order to enjoy it. She was spending so much time making sure her heart didn't flutter at every second minute that she forgot what a pleasant feeling it was.

"Hm," Natsuki muttered, catching her attention.

"What?"

"Nothing... It just never occurred to me that you would have such strong hands... But it makes sense given that you're a martial artist."

Shizuru couldn't help but blush at what she took as a compliment, and good for her, Natsuki meant it that way.

"Well well well, am I interrupting something?" came the mischievous voice of the girl's other redheaded friend as she, as usual, entered the house as if it were her own.

Natsuki immediately let go of Shizuru's hands, using her own to clench into fists to over express her "friendly-anger" at Nao's intrusion.

"You aren't interrupting anything!" the navy-haired girl yelled, "I was just teaching her how to play a song that's all."

"Pff, yeah, like I'm gonna believe that after what I saw with my own eyes."

Natsuki grabbed her collar, her eye still twitching.

"You better believe it, because it's true!"

"I know," Nao replied while sarcastically patting her friend on the head, getting her to release her easily and walk past towards the fancy piano, "Wow this is nice, so what song are you working on?"

"Ensei."

"Oh really?" the girl gave a wicked smirk, "... Since when is there a viola in Ensei?"

Natsuki cringed.

"There isn't a piano either but we're making it work! She's going to be playing the string part and I'm going to play what the chorus sings... So it'll sound a bit different."

"Oooooh, so that's what you're doing eh? In that case you wouldn't mind if I joined in too? You know, day or night, I'm always free!" she held up her smile.

The three were silent for a few seconds while Nao re-briefed herself on her mission given by Mai. After getting a text message saying that there was something strange going on over here, she had to use all of her tricks to trying getting the information she wanted. And in general she was good at it, but in this particular case she was cut off before she could dig any deeper.

"Don't you have work?" Natsuki said with a sort of determined curiosity, "Unless of course _Mai_ said you could take time off?"

Nao blinked.

_Wow... she actually caught me... that's a first..._

She shook her head.

_At least it confirms that something's definitely up._

On the far side of the room, Shizuru was rather relieved that it would remain the two of them alone, for obvious reasons. What got her thinking though was actually the same thing as what happened with Nao, the fact that twice in one day Natsuki had blown off her friends in order to spend time alone with _her_. Maybe it was just frustration at being interrupted by teaching, but somewhere along the line the signs had either changed, or become more frequent, or something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

_I can't let myself think that, _Shizuru told herself, _No matter what I can't fall into the trap of thinking Natsuki might have feelings for me... Even if it's my goal I can't think it unless I know it's true... and right now we're still friends..._

"So how are you and Yukino?" she asked in a last minute attempt to change the subject; and with Nao in an odd way on the same side as her, she was glad to be able to divert Natsuki's attention from being investigated... though she may have taken it a little too far.

"We got caught having sex in the park yesterday," she said, all while keeping her expression completely serious, which was more than she could say for the other two.

"WHAT!?" Natsuki and Shizuru both exclaimed simultaneously, causing Nao to burst into laughter.

"Oh my God I'm only kidding but you should have seen your faces! Priceless!"

Of course, this also led to her being smacked over the head by the navy-haired girl... just out of habit if for anything. After some seconds of calming down, they ended up moving over to the couch to talk.

"Really," Natsuki began, "I'm surprised how serious you are... it's only been a month and a half since you met..."

"I know! It's amazing!" Nao couldn't hold back her smile.

"But don't you think it's a bit too soon to be saying things like you love her? What if it's just the rush?"

The girl shook her head.

"It's not. Sometimes you just know, you know?"

"Can't say I do..." Natsuki answered a bit hesitantly, slightly embarrassed by the fact that she hadn't experienced love yet at her age.

"Right," Nao replied, though with an unsaid sarcastic opinion behind it, "Well, I have to go… leave you two back to practice."

She smiled with a wink when she stood up.

"I know how you get when you're interrupted, right Natsuki?"

The navy-haired girl stared at her friend as she exited the house, her jaw dropped at the carefree way in which the redhead waved at both her and Shizuru before getting in her car to head back to work. The latter of the two was too excited to read too much into Nao's behaviour, especially since she was well aware of what these two were capable of when it came to teasing each other; even if it left her with a hint of curiosity. The focus of the moment was really on Natsuki, who couldn't believe that she was right from the start about something suspicious with the visits.

_Mai might have come here innocently,_ she placed a palm on her face, _But Nao was sent here to look for something… And I'm pretty sure what…_

She gave an uneasy look towards Shizuru, who for the moment had her back turned to her, sitting at the piano; although seeing how calm she was somehow calmed her too. She wasn't going to let herself think too much about what Nao and Mai had _thought _was going on, she knew the truth after all. Although despite Shizuru's aura keeping her calm on the surface, Natsuki was wracking her brain and trying to find out why it was that, of all things she felt when Nao winked at her was panic.

Her attention was caught by the melody a few feet away. Without Natsuki's guidance, Shizuru was playing the piece in its entirety, with every nuance and repeat in the proper places. The younger girl stood in awe of her talents, listening intently until the music flowed to an end. While she always liked this song, never before did she have a reaction like this. Maybe it was because she felt like she had something to do with Shizuru's skill, being her teacher and all, or maybe it was the unique way a sole piano sounded when following the notes of a set of string instruments… but Natsuki's heart warmed so much that it felt like it was melting.

As if it were an instinctual reaction, her feet carried her to the piano bench where she now stood directly behind the older girl, who was taking a deep breath of success. That relaxing breath was cut short though and replaced with one of surprise when she felt two arms wrap around her at the height of her shoulders. Shizuru blinked in silent confusion when she felt Natsuki's head lean down onto hers, and quite frankly she hadn't the strength to move.

"… That was so beautiful…" the jade eyed one said, trying to hold up a serious tone to contrast with her rather abnormal action.

"… I'm really… proud, of you…"

Shizuru then lifted her hand to hold onto Natsuki's arm that was around her front, resisting the urge to cry and instead turning the feelings into words.

"I think it will be most beautiful when we play it together…"


	10. Gotta Be Somebody

**X - Gotta Be Somebody**

At around six o'clock this winter morning Natsuki was woken up by a strange disturbance in her sleep. The girl wasn't sure what it was, but it certainly was bothersome. She sat up with a start and then, after seeing her surroundings, leaned back on one extended arm while using the other to rub her eyes. Once she was conscious again her memory seemed to be wiped clean of whatever was bothering her in what she only assumed was the dream world.

_Whatever it was felt real... Not like a nightmare though..._

She now folded both of her arms in front of her to lean in that direction and look down at her hands.

_Argh... I can't even think straight... I'm still half asleep..._

Natsuki didn't seem to care too much that she was talking to herself in her own mind. Instead, she tried to lean back in the bed and pull the blanket back up over her shoulders. She rested her head on her pillow for a little while longer, but could only feel herself wake up more and more.

_Damn it... I want to go back to sleep!_

She cringed and tried to force her eyes shut but it failed; instead she opened one to look out the nearby window. It was still too early to even be light outside, but at this point the girl realized it was going to be one of those days where no matter how hard she tried, trying to get back to sleep was a futile task. It was even harder now that, after this long of being awake, her hunger was becoming more and more influential.

With a sigh, Natsuki rolled herself up and out of bed, rubbing her face yet again with a yawn and tip-toeing downstairs to make breakfast. Luckily, this house was so newly built that none of the floorboards creaked, at least not loud enough to wake Shizuru who was still sleeping down the hall. In short time she reached the kitchen where she proceeded to look for what she wanted to eat. It wasn't a good day for her at all so far. Everything she found made her change her mind to something else, although after a chilly wind blew through a small opening in the window the girl settled on something warm.

_... Ramen..._

Lazily, she pulled the bowl of instant noodles out of the cupboard and filled it with water before sticking it in the microwave. Natsuki waited in silence for now, with her arms resting across her chest and her eyes focused on the sky slowing turning from black to a gray-blue. She only noticed it once more natural light was provided but it was actually snowing rather heavily.

_This is Shizuru's kinda weather._

She took the hot ramen over to the island table in the middle of the room. Natsuki kept herself occupied with whatever random thoughts came into her head as she ate; mostly about the weather. Even if winter wasn't her most favourite of seasons she was still hypnotized by the beauty of the snowfall. So much so that she didn't even realize it slow to a near-complete stop until a thump at the door broke her stare.

"What the hell?" she muttered aloud, going to check it out right away.

"Who'd be egging our house this early in the morning?"

... She was still a bit too tired to think clearly.

By the time she got there, whoever was there had gone but when Natsuki opened the door she found a rather sizable box sitting on her doorstep: a package. Taking an educated guess that it wasn't some sort of letter bomb, the girl brought inside and set it by the inside of the door before looking at the name tag on it.

"For Shizuru?" she asked aloud, though not taking much of it, after all it wasn't a big deal for her to be getting some sort of delivery.

In a few minutes there was another arrival though, making Natsuki slightly more suspicious, but unlike the last one the delivery man was waiting at the door for an answer.

"Can I help you?" the groggy navy-haired girl asked rhetorically, having already seen through the window that he was carrying a package.

"Yes I have a delivery for Fujino Shizuru, is she here?" he was holding a clipboard with some papers.

"Oh, well she's sleeping, can I sign for it?"

"Sorry, only her legal guardians or a spouse can sign for mail," he leaned down to pick it up again, "That's okay, I'll just bring it down to the post office and she can get it-"

"I'm her fiancée," Natsuki said.

She held out her hand for the item while mentally shoving away her surprise at it being the first time she called herself by that title. The girl rationalized it by merely being more convenient to not have to go to the post office later.

"Oh, that's fine then," he said, handing her the papers, "I thought you were her roommate."

"Yeah," she wanted to ignore the questionable thoughts about her relationship to Shizuru, "Do you happen to know what it is?"

"Nope, sorry, my job is just delivery; it looked like that when I got it."

"Alright," she sighed, "Thanks then."

With a nod, the man got back into his truck and drove away, leaving Natsuki to return inside and sit down next to the two boxes. For now she was only thinking that it was, perhaps, some equipment Shizuru had delivered.

-0-

Five hours later, at minimum three packages an hour; Natsuki barely had the time to get fully dressed before another person was at her door with yet another delivery for Shizuru. The navy-haired girl was surrounded by piles of anonymous boxes of various sizes which were now starting to take up most of the living room along with many letters that were all delivered with the rest of their regular mail.

Another unusual occurrence was the fact that Shizuru wasn't awake by now. Especially with a tournament coming up Natsuki expected her to be up training whenever they weren't doing anything else.

_Today is already weird..._

Right on cue, Natsuki finally heard footsteps on the floor above her, and they were approaching quickly. The younger girl turned in their direction and looked quite confused at Shizuru running into the living room with a bright smile. It was the first time since they met that it appeared Natsuki had actually gone unnoticed in her eyes. In her defence though, it wasn't like the latter was all too visible in what was soon becoming a mess.

"Happy Birthday to me!" she cheered like a child while, quite literally, diving onto the sofa and looking around at the mountains of gifts.

"What?! It's your birthday?!" Natsuki exclaimed taken aback when jumping out from behind one of the piles.

Despite being accidentally shocked, Shizuru swiftly regained composure and nodded happily. The navy-haired girl was stunned silent, so much so that her left shoulder even drooped down a little when her jaw fell. She had no idea.

_Did I never ask her? That'd be pretty well... stupid of me... But crap I didn't get her anything! I'm such an ass!_

Fortunately Natsuki's train of self-loathing thought was stopped when she was pulled down on the couch next to the now-nineteen-year-old.

"Which one should I open first?" Shizuru asked, stopping Natsuki's eyes from spinning around from her dazed state of mind.

"Uhh, open the letters first... or well, now that I know it's your birthday, I guess they're cards, anyways it'll ease you into it," she chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck, "You need to calm down a little."

"Good thinking Natsuki!" she replied, not quite adhering to the thought of calming herself which made the other girl laugh even more at her behaviour.

Seeing that Shizuru was clearly going to be enthralled by the stack of cards, at least for a while, Natsuki saw that as a chance for her to escape to the kitchen. She shook her head and ruffled her hair in frustration. The first thing she thought of, as something to delay Shizuru in finding out that she hadn't got her a real gift yet, was making her breakfast. And while she wasn't much of a chef, Natsuki knew enough to make a decent quality "fancy" breakfast.

By the time her platter of fruit salad, cheeses, eggs, and some scones (which Natsuki didn't even know they had until now), Shizuru had gone through all of the cards and was starting on the big gifts. Nevertheless, she was back to normal enough now to give the younger girl priority for her attention.

"Aww, Natsuki made me breakfast for my present?" she noticed her uneasy, shy smile, "Come sit, we'll open things together."

"Umm... okay?" she was still reeling in from the hectic morning, "And this isn't your real present!"

She shut her eyes tightly; irritated with herself.

"I'm getting you something better, you're just going to have to wait until later!"

She pouted and looked away. However, the point she was trying to make was ignored by Shizuru who was now munching on the food with glee, leaving Natsuki to roll her eyes and wait patiently.

-0-

About an hour or so later, every package had been opened and both girls were resting on the sofa, spent from all the excitement.

"By the way, who were all those from?" Natsuki asked.

"My fans," she gave a half-hearted sigh, "They mean well, and at least know what I like... but I don't think it'll ever stop being strange."

The navy-haired girl laughed.

"Yeah, I don't think I'll ever stop finding it funny either," she turned to her with a grin, "But if they ever step over the line let me know and I'll pound 'em!"

She jokingly punched her fist into her palm, getting an amused reaction.

"Thank you. That probably won't happen though, they know their place around me... or well," she looked up in thought, "It appears that they have their own little code of conduct that forbids them from any further contact with me... I suppose it's so that it's fair... I don't fully understand. I'm not all that special."

"Hah!" Natsuki sat up.

"You don't give yourself enough credit. You're the strongest person in your dojo, possibly in your whole style, I'm sure there's a ton of people who find that alone really attractive."

Shizuru's eyes sparked a little. It sounded like a compliment, and Natsuki was the one saying it, yet it wasn't_from_ her. She had to force all of her energy into not asking her directly if she was one of those people, convincing herself that if anything Natsuki held mere admiration and respect for her in that area; which was nice as well, just not the same.

"Your parents didn't get you anything?" the navy-haired girl continued, unaware of the other's hidden thoughts.

"Oh, every year they give me a little after-dinner party at their house. Nothing special."

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Natsuki whined, getting a raised eyebrow in response.

"I didn't think you'd want to come. It's just going to be my parents, my friends, and a few of the highest ranking members... But if you do want to I'd be really happy."

"Yeah of course I'll come, when is it? I have something I need to do first..." she tried to hide her shyness; after all she was referring to going out to get Shizuru a proper birthday gift.

"They asked for me to be there at eight tonight."

"Okay so how about we go get dinner at say, six? Then afterwards we can go to your parents?"

Shizuru smirked.

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"What!?" Natsuki blushed hard, "No! I just mean! Gah! Just to eat and that's all!"

"Heehee, I know, I was only teasing you," good for Shizuru, she had planned it enough so that she could have a question to change the subject as fast as possible, in case Natsuki took it worse.

"Where do you plan on going though?"

"Well it's your birthday, it's only right that you choose."

After some thorough decision making, Shizuru chose a semi-formal restaurant that she hadn't been to in years. Agreeing to meet there, Natsuki got her personal things together in her wallet that she stuffed in her coat pocket before heading out into the town just below the hill which their house was atop.

-0-

Natsuki exhaled a shivering breath as she pulled her scarf closer to her. Even when she was dressed for the season, it was still quite cold on the streets of the town. At first she was annoyed by the fact that such temperatures made it impossible for her to use her bike to get through the streets faster, but after thinking about it, seeing as how she didn't have a particular destination in mind it was best to explore by foot.

The girl stood on the corner of an intersection, waiting for the light to change and looking down the street. This was the shopping district so she was bound to find something here but she wasn't going to rest until she found the _perfect_ gift.

_I feel so bad that I didn't even know..._

As soon as the light changed, Natsuki headed forward to look in the window of the first store in sight. It was a jewellery store, and despite the fact that their merchandise were both of fine quality and pretty enough, the girl couldn't put her finger on something unfitting about it. She could see Shizuru accepting it happily, but not wearing it because she wanted to.

With a sigh she continued on to the next store, and the next, and the next, finding only mediocre gifts. Needless to say Natsuki was starting to get frustrated at her lack of success. After passing by every store in the first section the girl sat down on a nearby bench to rest her feet. She groaned and stretched her arms out across the back planks of wood then crossed one leg over her knee while leaning her head back, feeling the few remaining snowflakes fall on her.

_Come on, think! You've lived with this person for almost four months now! What would she like?_

The more she was stumped with the answer, the worse she felt. How could she not know one thing Shizuru liked?

_And I don't wanna just copy one of the gifts she got from those weird fans... I want to get her something special from me... Something only I'd know... Agh! This is my own fault... If I'd taken more of an interest in her life from the start this would be so different..._

For a while now Natsuki had, on some level, been thinking about that very issue. She had made a promise to no longer be guilt ridden anymore, but still, she couldn't help but want to apologize for acting the way she had when they first met. Even if everyone forgave her and she rationally knew she had good reason to feel that way, she just couldn't stop thinking about how Shizuru must have felt. That was what disturbed her.

_No, I can't get thinking like that,_ she told herself, shaking her head and sitting up straight, _I can't get caught up in this again._

With that, Natsuki stood up more focused than before. It was starting to get dark and when she looked at her watch it confirmed that there was only a short amount of time left before she had to meet Shizuru at the restaurant. It was time for her to be serious about this. So, without any more hesitating, she continued walking down the street, sharply looking for the right – no – the perfect present.

At the very last moment available, Natsuki stopped in front of a small obscure shop. She pressed her hand against the glass and looked as far inside as she could; and then around to make sure this was right. The girl finally relaxed and smiled. She had it, right there in front of her was what only she could give to Shizuru. At first she questioned if it would be good enough, but properly concluded that if there was one person who would see the gesture behind the item, it was the girl she intended to give it to.

-0-

Huffing puffs of frosty mist, Natsuki finally slowed from her run directly in front of the restaurant. She was only ten minutes late, but from the distance she was able to see that Shizuru was already there. Her coat flapped in the wind behind her as she stood straight again, looking directly into ruby irises. The latter was slightly confused at the sudden appearance of the navy-haired girl but smiled nicely.

"S-sorry I'm," she huffed, "late I-"

She huffed again but stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Take a minute to catch your breath," Shizuru chuckled, "I only just got here."

Natsuki did as told, closing her eyes briefly to stop the dizziness caused by the sound of blood pumping through her head. In a few seconds she was feeling better she opened them again, although at the sight of the older girl's smile she felt a stutter fall over her body.

"Ah..." she muttered when her mouth gaped open slightly, the sheer kindness caught her off guard.

Shaking her head and dusting the snow off her coat, Natsuki finally regained her composure and grinned back at Shizuru while gesturing towards the doors.

"Well, shall we?"

She was aware of how she was behaving, feeling that it would be fun for the evening to act as upscale as this restaurant appeared to be. Of course, Natsuki would despise a lifetime of it being a reality. But for one night it was like playing make-believe. The whole evening she kept a smile on her face, one which enticed Shizuru to beam as well. From the time they entered where the navy-haired girl removed the other's coat for her to when they ate, she was caught up in the allure of being chivalrous for Shizuru's sake.

Throughout the meal, Shizuru's heart continued to flutter at the subtle actions Natsuki made. She giggled inside at how purely adorable it was. She didn't know when, but at some point during the night – or perhaps even before, when Natsuki offered to take her out – she had begun to think of it as a date. Even if the girl denied it earlier, and normally such thinking would scare her, tonight was an exception. Not only was it because the other had initiated the playful game, but she recently came to a conclusion:

_As long as I keep it to myself, there's no harm in me thinking of this as a date. If it remains my dream, I'm allowed to dream it._

Meanwhile, on the other side of the table, Natsuki was practically reading her thoughts. But she continued to have fun, unfazed by it.

_I bet she thinks this is a date._

She chuckled a little.

_That's fine though... If it makes her happy._

She looked into Shizuru's eyes seriously for a moment, observing their innocent delight.

_If I have the power to make her this happy, how can I not use it?_

-0-

"Thank you for the dinner Natsuki," Shizuru said as she stood up, preparing to leave.

"Well it's your birthday after all, I told you before I'd take you out," the girl put her coat on and led the way out the front doors.

"It was a wonderful present."

Natsuki stopped and looked back confused.

"Huh? That wasn't your gift, that was just... something... because it's your birthday," she shook her head, "No no, you're getting your real one when we get home."

"So generous," she grinned mischievously, "Thank you for it all, and for what's to come."

The navy-haired girl grinned back, in fact, she hardly stopped throughout the evening they had together, but she hadn't noticed anything at all. In any case, it was time for them to get to Shizuru's parents house for the small party. Natsuki was still in her leader mode when she stopped briefly and turned.

"Err, I don't actually know where they live..." she rubbed the back of her neck, earning another subtle laugh from the other girl.

"Well," Shizuru looked around, then at the nearby outdoor clock, then at the ground somewhat hesitantly, "We still have some time, would you mind walking with me?"

Natsuki folded her arms behind her and leaned down a little so that their eyes could meet before using the connection to raise Shizuru's head to a more confident position. Then, to the latter's surprise her hand was taken and pulled forward with her feet skipping a little to catch up to Natsuki's side. The girl was silent throughout her actions, but that was fine, since her features had not once indicated anything along the lines of guilt, worry, or a sense of obligation.

_She wants to be doing this... I can feel it..._

Nevertheless, Shizuru felt it best to resist the desire to lean her head on Natsuki's shoulder as they walked, or pulled her closer. Instead, she made sure that no matter what their hands stayed connected. Unfortunately though, their moment was quickly disturbed by the sound of a car pulling up beside them in such a haphazard manner that caused Natsuki to jump back.

Although she cautiously never let go of Shizuru, actually pulling her further out of harm's way. Both girls were shocked and blinked repeatedly to regain their sense of direction before the loud honking of the car's horn sounded in their ears.

"I think they see us, Haruka!" a familiar male voice yelled as he tried to swat the blonde away from the steering wheel before she caused any more damage.

After all, the car was half slid up the curb and quite close to crashing into a lamp post as well as many other bystanders.

"...Haruka?" Shizuru asked, looking in the open window of the car.

"Hey! You're on your way to your parents' right?" she replied, leaning out.

"Were you honestly gonna walk the whole way if we didn't drive by now?"

The chestnut-haired girl gave a sigh. She would have blown off the whole party if it meant walking around with Natsuki all night; but she couldn't very well say that with the girl in question standing right behind her.

"Well I was only gonna walk until Shizuru didn't want to," Natsuki interjected, still feeling the need to defend herself to what Haruka said, "Are you guys going to the party too?"

The blonde nodded and pointed her thumb to the back seat.

"Yeah, so get in and we'll drive you," the group fell silent until Haruka reluctantly switched places with Reito, pouting in the passenger's seat.

After a brief wave-like greeting to the quiet Yukino who was already in the back seat, the other two girls slid in beside her and headed towards the suburban household.

-0-

Just as Natsuki was told, the atmosphere was quite casual, at least by Fujino standards. It wasn't like they lived in a mansion that could fit hundreds of guests anyway, but the people that were there all carried an aura of prestige. The navy-haired girl leaned on a wall, holding a glass of water in her hand, sipping it occasionally while looking around.

_In one way or another, everyone here is elite... It's kinda of intimidating, but…_

She drank some more water while she tried to find the right words for her thought.

_I feel comforted somehow. It's like a type of scene I was missing. Like this secret world of secretly amazing people..._

"Agh!" Natsuki shut her eyes and shook her head before gulping down the last of her water, "That makes me sound so arrogant..."

"You talking to yourself?" came Haruka's voice from the side.

Natsuki, thought slightly caught off guard, covered her embarrassment with a laugh and quickly jumped on the opportunity to start a conversation with the blonde.

"I was just thinking about all these people. I've never been around this many people with power before."

"Are you at least enjoying it?"

Emerald eyes sparked briefly before settling into thought again.

"Yeah... I am..."

She looked over at Shizuru who was in the middle of talking to a boy around their age with rather attractive features. His hair was made of ruffled short spikes and jet black to compliment his shining white smile. Natsuki couldn't help but become intrigued by it, her gaze shifting from one of simple curiosity to vigilance.

The navy-haired girl intently watched their conversation in the distance from her place just outside of the main crowd. They were both smiling. Laughing and smiling. Unaware of the growing tension in her muscles, Natsuki half turned to Haruka, still never letting the two leave her sight.

"Hey, do you know who that guy is? The one Shizuru's talking to?"

Haruka craned her neck a little to get a closer look before moving back.

"Yeah," she said with obvious displeasure, "Uwate Ganjou, the second highest ranking member of Shizuru's dojo, the first of course being her."

"Why do you say it like that?"

"Ugh... The guy just pisses me off. You can never tell what his real intentions are, and that stupid smile of his always gets you to trust him. Half the time he looks like he resents Shizuru for being better than him, the other half it looks like he's head over heels in love with her trying to win her over. At least Shizuru knows this; she's just putting up with him because he had to be here tonight."

Natsuki cringed, sharpening her line of sight, seeing that now they were engaged in light, familiar touching. Whether it was Ganjou sliding his hand over her arm, or Shizuru patting him gently on the shoulder, the girl was becoming more worried for the latter's safety. What had sparked her question to Haruka in the first place was her gut feeling that something wasn't quite right about this guy.

"What the-!" Natsuki took a sharp step forward, placing her glass on the table beside her, "Did you see that?"

Haruka followed her direction.

"What?"

"He just felt her up!" the navy-haired girl's fangs were beginning to show, "He keeps reaching for her thigh!"

"Damn it!" Haruka was about to deliver a charge of her own but out of the corner of her eye she saw that Natsuki beat her to it.

Purposely arriving in the middle of Ganjou's sentence to cut him off, the girl cleared her throat while stepping as close to Shizuru as possible; making a point of grabbing onto his outstretched hand tightly. Though she faked shaking it as a greeting, the force with which she was holding it made it clear that she knew precisely what he had been doing; and that she wasn't at all happy about it.

"I don't believe we've met," he said, keeping his smile intact as he retracted his hand with slight difficulty, "Uwate Ganjou."

"Kuga Natsuki," the navy-haired girl replied, turning to a slightly stunned Shizuru.

"It's getting late. We should get home if we want to have a full day of training tomorrow. The competition is in less than a week you know."

"Ah, yes, you're right," Shizuru looked to the boy, "I'll be taking my leave now."

And without another word the two turned to walk towards the exit.

"That's some strict personal trainer you've got there," Ganjou called out, still set on keeping up his conversation.

"For the Ashura tournament? I'll look forward to our match then Fujino-dono... _friendly_of course," his tone implying it would be anything but.

Grinding her teeth, Natsuki stopped and looked back, unable to control her words.

"Before you can fight her, you're going to have to fight me. I'm entering as well," the girl stared at his cocky expression, desperate to take him down a step, "And I'm not her trainer, I'm her fiancée."

The whole room turned to the navy-haired girl, holding the stunned Shizuru's hand tightly and making a fist with the other. The elder of the two gazed wide eyed at the declaration, and unlike the rest of the guests who were all muttering words or muffled gasps, she was completely speechless. She tried to say her name, but not even the first syllable could escape her throat.

Meanwhile, Ganjou too was caught off guard by the words but surely wouldn't be halted by some stranger. Instead, he folded his arms across his chest and met Natsuki's glare with his own sneer.

"Fine, I'll make an exception. I usually prefer to have only Fujino-dono as my competition, but I have to make sure the one she's marrying is worthy."

He laughed at the look of disgust the girl shot at him, reverting to his cliché smile.

"As her student, of course. It's part of my responsibility to make sure my master is in good hands."

As much as Natsuki wanted to give this guy the beating of a lifetime, she felt a tug on her hand. She glanced briefly at Shizuru who was leaning towards the doorway, signalling her wish to leave. And then back at Ganjou whose own eyes said 'go on, take her home, you don't want to look bad after all do you?' before expelling a reluctant sigh. His thrashing would have to wait another few days.

On the other side of the room, the trio of Shizuru's closest friends watched them leave until the two on the sides turned to the blonde in the middle. Haruka was deep in thought before raising her head with a strong grin.

"I always liked that girl!"

-0-

"How come you didn't say anything?" Natsuki asked as they walked towards the closest bus stop, hands in her pockets, moving at a slightly faster pace than Shizuru due to her overbearing energy she just built up.

"I don't know," she replied, somewhat confused herself, "Uwate-san has always been like that, I suppose I've grown accustom to it and know that no matter what he has never been able to defeat me in a fight."

"I guess... Anyone'd be a fool to underestimate you, but agh..."

"He got under your skin didn't he?"

Natsuki stopped, looking at the street, watching the snow fall onto growing piles. She felt like she was going to explode, and the smallest of things were making her envious; except Shizuru's tranquil voice. The girl pouted, putting up a front of mock arrogance.

"Yeah right! That guy's not worth my time! I would have liked to see _you_ kick his ass though!" she fell into a comic grin while lightly hitting the back of Shizuru's head.

"That's for making me come to save you while I was in the middle of having a decent conversation with Haruka!"

Shizuru chuckled at the gesture, glad to see that the girl's foul mood had dissipated.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to turn you into my guardian. I can take care of myself."

"I know," Natsuki replied with an understanding smile.

_Don't make me worry like that again!_

Shizuru was still all bubbly and had been replaying the moment over and over ever since.

_Heehee... she called me her fiancée..._

-0-

It was a long bus ride home, but it made the warmth of the indoors all the more appreciated. Before Shizuru was even finished hanging up her coat Natsuki was already starting up the fireplace. She exhaled her relief when her extended hands began to defrost.

"We finally got to use this!"

"You're such a summer child," Shizuru jested, having enjoyed the cool temperature, and sat on the sofa behind the navy-haired girl who was sitting on the floor.

"... Summer Princess," she grinned when the girl snapped back at her.

"Hey!"

"What? It's cute!"

"I'm not cute! I'm evil!" she faked a snarling monster sound and jumped onto the couch.

Shizuru shrieked in reply, scurrying to the far side of the furniture to escape from the "monster." They engaged in this play for a few minutes, which mostly consisted of Shizuru rolling from one side of the couch to the other with Natsuki following her. Although, given that it was a rather small space, it was only a matter of time before there was a slip and a fall.

"Uwah!" Natsuki exclaimed.

Her foot had slipped on the carpet, causing her to fall onto the elder girl lengthwise, so that her head ended up on her chest. Shizuru instantly gripped the cushions on order to pull herself up, assuming that Natsuki would be getting up as well, but was surprised by her remaining on top of her for a lingering moment. Her muscles held her stiffly, part confused and part not wanting to break the spell.

"Hang on, I'll get up in a sec, I just need to catch my breath."

"A... Ah..." the ruby eyed girl gulped and slid back down, trying to do everything she could to slow her heartbeat, especially now that Natsuki had her ear pressed against it.

In the other's mind, it was only after she did catch her breath that she even realized the position they were both in, scampering up and over to the other side. All anti-guilt self-talk aside, this was bad. Somewhere along the line she had lost track of her actions, forgetting to take the other's feelings into consideration.

_I thought I had control... But the second I turn my back there I am at it again!_

She mentally smacked herself.

_I can't... I can't keep doing this to her..._

She looked into amused scarlet eyes.

_She just brings out a strange side of me..._

"Well, I'm tired. It was certainly an eventful day... I'm going to bed-"

"Present!" Natsuki exclaimed, getting her mind off its track and stopping Shizuru, "I still have to give you my gift!"

"Oh?" the girl turned, intrigued as to what the navy-haired girl was going to the coat rack for.

"Now... Sorry I didn't wrap it... Since I didn't know it was your birthday," she groaned, rubbing the back of her head, "Sorry for that too... Anyway, here!"

Shizuru looked at the book that was handed to her, taking it slowly and reading the cover; a tear forming in her eye.

"Natsuki... this is..." it was a book of sheet music, specifically for piano and string duets.

"Now we have even more songs to play together, it'll be fun!" her excitement faded a little at the growing silence.

"...Do you like it? I know it's not much-"

"It's perfect," Shizuru said, still smiling.

Natsuki was right, she was the only one she could trust to see the true meaning behind it.


	11. Love is a Battle

**XI - Love is a Battle**

It was the day before the Ashura tournament: a sunny day with the rays reflecting off the snow surrounding the house in the forest. Across the region all of the top martial artists were training non-stop in order to attain the trophy which they all had their eyes on. At this point everyone, even from the same dojo was considering each other competition. Friends had turned to rivals of all kinds throughout the community of professional fighters. Although there were always exceptions.

In the basement of the medium sized house, both Natsuki and Shizuru refused to stop training together. From start to finish they were in this together to get to the top, neither bothering to think of what would happen when they reached that point. It was in the backs of their minds for sure, but never became more of an issue. It didn't matter to them if they were to end up fighting against each other in a real match and not just practice.

In fact, while it was unspoken and perhaps unknown between the two, they both had individual reasons for wanting to compete. It started out as them wanting to make their names known again and step further into fame, but ever since another player presented himself it became a more personal matter. Natsuki was set on taking Ganjou down, remembering his sweet visage that filled her with such frustration.

As for Shizuru, her motive was the most unclear, but from what the younger girl could tell from their sparring there was more to it for her as well. Something she had to prove, she deduced, but to herself. It was a complex thought pattern that Natsuki couldn't figure out with her mind so focused elsewhere. That smile flashed itself in her mind again.

"Agh!" she cried out, thrusting her fist forward at full strength.

But even then she felt it connect with the skin of Shizuru's palm. Before she knew it, her rather reckless and emotional attack left her open for the older girl's swift counter. Natsuki braced her muscles when she felt her equilibrium shift, having been flipped onto her back by her joint-locked wrist. Even in the darkness of her landing, she could hear where the footsteps were moving.

Just one stride before Shizuru would have been clear, the navy-haired girl swung her leg around low on the ground, using the motion to get herself in a position to stand up and floor her opponent at the same time. Right after she fell, Natsuki took a far leap back and planted herself in one place, waiting to see what would happen. Well, not see exactly. In an effort to keep their skills honed, both of them had been training blindfolded. At first even Natsuki was having some trouble with it but fell into the feeling quicker than Shizuru for obvious reasons.

_The tournament is tomorrow…!_

She clenched her fists tighter.

_Come on! You can do it!_

Meanwhile on the other side of the mats, Shizuru was slowly bringing herself up, slightly off balance and still turning her head back and forth in search of a visual position of the girl she was fighting. Since she hadn't been attacked yet she safely assumed that Natsuki was waiting for her. In all the time since they started practicing together, she hadn't been too sensitive to the notion of being pitied. She was always certain that they were on equal ground so there wasn't much to notice. But now, this was different. Shizuru could tell that Natsuki was, not pitying her, but also not treating her as an equal. She was waiting because she was giving her a chance to gain some points, not because she needed a rest.

_Where are you?! I can find you, I know it!  
_

Her time was up. Natsuki went on the offensive again, darting around the room as fast as she could. On one hand this confused Shizuru but also provided her with what Natsuki had been using to teach her this method of fighting. She knew that her movement would cause sounds, sounds that if Shizuru could see would go unnoticed without this training. She was still instructing her.

_But the time for instruction is over Natsuki, tomorrow we're fighting for real… this is our –no, my last chance!_

With that thought echoing in her mind, Shizuru's elite prowess revealed itself to the younger girl's surprise. In all honesty, Natsuki had become accustomed to beating Shizuru in matches, but now, in her own territory of blindness, she was at a true loss. Not even by shock, but by skill. The navy-haired girl couldn't see the smirk on the older girl's face when she slid to the side, feeling the wind carried by Natsuki's punch brush her hair against her cheek.

The part of her that was holding her back from dealing damage to Natsuki due to love had looked the other way, not clouding her judgement of how to follow through from her current position. As one hand grasped the girl's wrist to keep her in place, Shizuru glided across the floor, pivoting from face to face with Natsuki so that she was twisting her arm behind her. After which Shizuru gave a double open palmed thrust into the navy-haired girl's strong back, hurling her forward without any control of her movements. Natsuki was moving too fast to catch herself and ended up tripping over her feet from the momentum, ending with rolling across the mats.

Without hesitation, Shizuru followed the sound towards her target. Even when Natsuki moved out of the way quickly she followed the gentle breeze she left behind and reached out to grab hold of the navy-haired girl's uniform.

"Gah!" Natsuki exclaimed, unable to block, although she did attempt a counter.

Using Shizuru's hold against her the younger girl spun around to deliver a kick, but somehow hit only air. Not only that, but the grip which she was using for leverage was gone as well, causing her attack to carry her all the way around.

_She foresaw my attack...?!_

The navy-haired girl was now face to face with Shizuru, standing still for a split second and blinking behind her blindfold. In that instant she swore that she could see the girl's determined expression with her mind's eye... and her heart skipped a beat.

_What?_

And when the second ended all Natsuki felt was an immensely forceful hit to her upper chest. Winded, she soared across the room before once again rolling on the mats until she laid still. The room was quiet then, save for the heavy breathing from both girls. The elder's open mouth closed unconsciously to keep her jaw firm, but relaxed upon hearing the quiet steps in the distance. They were not approaching, no; Natsuki was just standing up slowly. What caught her by surprise though was the cheerful laughter that followed.

"You did it!" the navy-haired girl said with a bright grin, pulling the cloth down from in front of her eyes to hang around her neck.

"You beat me! And with my own technique too! I'm so proud!"

Shizuru pulled her blindfold down too and met with the emerald irises coming forward.

"I... I did it..." she muttered with a smile, still a little speechless herself, but caught onto the last of Natsuki's sentences, "... Proud?"

"Of course! It's every teacher's dream to be surpassed by their student! Not that I had much to teach you..." she rubbed the back of her neck and looked up in thought.

"You're elite too, I just offered an extra skill to help train," she crossed her arms and pouted, trying to put back her cool demeanour, "But it's not like one win against me means you can slack off! It's hard work!"

Shizuru chuckled at her cute expressions.

"I know, but this will be very helpful in the tournament."

"Mm, I can feel it..." she clenched her fist, "We're definitely gonna be at the top, no doubt about it."

They stopped when that statement reminded them of the possible predicament the competition would cause. It was less complex than they were making it out to be, but both of them saw the two sides.

"Shizuru... If we get picked to fight each other..." Natsuki started.

"It'll be fine," she smirked, "In a way I'm looking forward to the possibility of fighting you in a match other than training, especially if we both get within reach of the trophy."

"Heh, yeah, good. I just wanted to make sure you felt the same way," given Shizuru's confident response, she felt the need to keep her insecurities hidden.

The insecurity that, now that they were close friends her ability may weaken under the pressure of the spotlight. Little did she know that the person sitting right next to her was thinking the exact same thing.

"Alright then!" Natsuki said to break the silence, standing up with a stretch.

"Do you mind if I shower first?"

"Go ahead, but don't take too long since Mai-san will be joining us for dinner," Shizuru replied.

Her eyes slyly followed the girl's body; admiring the pink shade that covered her skin in contrast to her navy locks. By the time Natsuki turned the corner her gaze was automatically broken, leaving her to roll her eyes and sigh to herself.

_It's funny... I spend so much time thinking about her feelings that I forget how incredibly attractive she is..._

-0-

Close to an hour later, when they were both clean and dressed in regular attire, Natsuki and Shizuru were in the kitchen preparing their evening meal with Mai. Or rather, Shizuru and Mai were doing the serious cooking while Natsuki felt bad that she lacked their skills and, like a child, tried everything she could think of to help them.

"Natsuki really, you don't have to be good at everything!" Mai joked, pushing her friend out of the way of her workspace.

"I'm not trying to be good at everything!" she retorted.

"I just hate watching people work if I'm not helping... It makes me feel like I'm taking advantage..."

"Yes, and knowing my love of cooking I'm extremely frustrated with you right now," the redhead said sarcastically, "If you don't want to watch you can go sit outside."

"Fine, I get it..." the navy-haired girl rolled her eyes and walked around the island counter to sit on the stool facing the other two.

"Here. If you want to help, taste this," Shizuru said whilst lifting a spoonful of her soup to Natsuki's lips.

Like a reflex, the younger girl opened her mouth to test the savoury broth, expressing a pleasant smile and a blush which she was unaware of but that caused Mai to bite her lip to suppress her giggling.

"Mmm, it's really good, but maybe put some more meat in it."

"If I put any more in it'll become a stew," Shizuru replied in an almost parental tone, her attention focused on the pot for a moment before looking up at the girl's puppy dog eyes, "...Fine, I'll add a_bit_ more."

"Yeah!" and Natsuki proceeded to do some sort of amateur victory dance; nearly killing Mai by her internal laughing fit.

"Ah! I forgot some other herbs in the pantry," the chestnut haired girl mentioned aloud a second before leaving the kitchen to go get them, fortunately leaving the two best friends alone for a moment.

While Natsuki was actually watching her exit, leaning her head with her chin rested on her palm, her eyes suddenly shook when she was smacked upside the head lightly.

"Oh my God you like her!" Mai exclaimed with a bright smile, but still kept her voice too low for Shizuru to possibly hear.

"Ow! What? No! Are you crazy! What!?" by now Natsuki was redder than ever, and stuttering too no less, but honestly not believing what her friend was talking about.

"Oh come on!" Mai was still grinning ear to ear, "You blushed when she had you taste the soup-"

"It was just hot!"

"-And you couldn't take your eyes off her when she left the room!"

"Argh! That doesn't mean I like her! We were training all day; it's just habit to watch her move by now because that's a key part of fighting practice!"

"Now that you bring that up, aren't you training her for a competition where you're her opponent? Isn't that a bit odd to do unless you care about her?"

"She's my friend! I'm just helping her out! Besides it's not like we're guaranteed to fight each other."

"I don't believe you," Mai held her mischievous appearance while going back to chopping up vegetables, "But there's no point in trying to force it into your stubborn head. You'll soon see that I'm right."

Saved by the bell, the phone rang just in time to interrupt what was bound to be another failing response from Natsuki. The navy-haired girl hopped off the stool and walked into the foyer area where there was a phone on a desk by the stairs.

"Hello?"

"Good evening, Kuga-chan," came the annoyingly familiar voice on the other end of the line.

She was even being addressed in a confusing manner with her last name to show respect while the suffix indicated her childishness in his opinion.

"Ugh... What do you want Uwate?"

"Don't be so vicious, you wouldn't want to pass up a golden opportunity would you?"

"Huh?"

"Let's just say, being second most powerful in the dojo also gives me some privileges that the others don't get. Combined with my family status I'm able to come across valuable information."

"Get to the point or I'm hanging up."

"I see here that you aren't happy with your engagement to Fujino-dono, is that correct? Something about throwing a tantrum and isolating yourself for a month?" he chuckled at the silence on Natsuki's en.

"Don't be ashamed, it's a reasonable reaction. But what if I told you that I had the answer to your problem?"

"... What?" she grit her teeth.

"I happen to have a certain document that can annul your engagement. You will be free to live your life as you wanted. No longer shackled by marriage to someone you do not know... I'm willing to trade it for something you can give me."

Natsuki's hand was gripping the wooden table so hard it was nearly breaking. What was Ganjou even talking about?

"What document is this? If something like that really existed I would have found it months ago and used it to get out of this myself."

"Heh, I never said it wasn't something new. I'm merely telling you that I have my own vast amount of connections, enough to create a legal loophole to get you out of this arrangement that you dislike so much."

"So what then? You want me to throw a match tomorrow so you can win, and in exchange you get me out if this, is that it? You get to look good, I look bad, and that's the win for you?"

"Hmph, so simple," Ganjou scoffed, "That trophy is not the prize I seek... it's what you already have."

Natsuki furrowed her brows.

"What I'm extending is not an offer per se, but an ultimatum."

"Which is?"

"Unless you can prove to me that you are more fit to take care of Fujino-dono than myself, I will process these documents and have your engagement erased... replacing it with my own."

"You're insane!" Natsuki barked.

"Our marriage contract is a personal agreement between our two families, you can't just interfere from out of nowhere."

"On the contrary, because it was done so loosely there are many gaps for a third party to enter."

"Then how do I know you won't just do that anyway? Whether I win or not?"

"If you are the better fighter, how do you think it would look for me to steal her away then?" he sighed rather bored.

"Unfortunately I'm limited by that circumstance, my family would not assist me if I lost. But on the flip side, it means that when I do win she will become my bride, not yours."

"...She's not some damn possession, you freak! Besides, even if you beat me, you would have to beat her too in order to earn the right to marry her... which as far as I know you've never been able to do."

"So harsh, I would have thought you would wish to help me do it, seeing as how you want out of the contract."

"Not like this! I'm not gonna let my friend be forced to marry some loser because you have these sneaky tricks!"

She practically snarled at him.

"You're right about one thing though. You can't go through with your plan if you lose... So I'm going to beat you until you're begging me to stop, and then some more!"

Without another word the girl slammed the phone down, her hand still wrapped tightly around the receiver. She didn't know if this was just his way of psyching her out, or if he really could get these documents. No matter what, Natsuki knew now that she wasn't going to lose.

-0-

"Participants: rise!" called the announcer over a megaphone.

It was the day of the Ashura Tournament, and the stadium was filled with hundreds of competitors. Judging from the belts everyone was wearing, the skill level ranged from elite to masters; an incredible amount of power all in one place.

While she had been to such competitions before, Natsuki was more on edge than ever in this one. Not only was everyone incredibly strong, but all officially recognized styles were eligible, so there was the element of surprise she had to deal with. She was prepared though, more than any other time in her career.

Those in her division all stood up in a straight line, looking ahead and waiting to be either called forward for the fight or dismissed to wait their turn. Finally, the announcer called two names that were unknown to either Shizuru or Natsuki. A boy by the name of Sasuto Shen, and a rather demonic looking girl called Ryuukami Rei.

"Who're they?" the Natsuki asked as she sat down next to Shizuru on a bench.

"I'm not sure... Maybe the mysterious prodigies we were talking about before," she joked at first, but both girls' jaws dropped the second the referee began the match.

The black haired girl didn't seem to care about an honourable match at all and rushed the boy with all her might, thrusting her heel into his gut with such force that it shattered his ribs and sent him flying into the wall.

"Oh my God! He fell after just one it! That was brutal!"

Natsuki said as she watched the girl expel a mighty roar from her throat to show off her victory.

"Well... I guess that's one surprise we better keep an eye on..."

"Indeed..." suddenly Shizuru's name was called over the PA system.

"My turn," she grinned, "Wish me luck Natsuki."

"See you in the final round!" the girl replied with a nod before turning her head to look out for her personal target.

She knew that Ganjou was here, and had seen him before in the crowds of participants walking around, but his features were so common he was difficult to find. Although she could sort of sense that it was safe for now. He wouldn't do anything obviously wrong in public; he cared too much about his popularity.

_He's not going to hurt Shizuru..._

Natsuki told herself.

_Even if his feelings are twisted, if he intends to marry her he's not going to risk being caught doing anything that would make that look bad. Argh... I hate dealing with these press junkies whose life exists only in what the media portrays them as..._

-0-

The day was filled with the most magnificent fights imaginable by all of the contestants. Everyone had really put all of their effort into polishing their skills, and battled at no less than full power. There were even a few times where both Natsuki and Shizuru were nearly beaten, but luckily both pulled through and finished it quickly once they saw there was the slightest chance of losing. They, along with a few others were actually the only ones who had enough talent to do that, raising them to higher levels within the competition until now: the very end of the evening.

The stage was set, and the crowd was growing with anticipation as the four remaining fighters approached the mats. Natsuki, Shizuru, Ganjou, and Rei had earned their places in the fight for first, second, and third place; and really any one of them would deserve it in terms of ability. The emerald eyed girl had other plans though. She couldn't stand to lose, not for the sake of a trophy, but for Shizuru. If she lost she would be forced to marry Ganjou, and she wasn't going to allow that.

The navy-haired girl had to fight all her urges to glare at the boy kneeling one body away from her. Right now she had to concentrate on how to fight any one of them. Rei's style was among the cruellest she'd ever seen, and the one whom she was most likely to lose to. She knew Ganjou's style from fighting with Shizuru, and knew that up until now he was weaker than her... but now her. What would she do if they were forced to knock one another out of the running for a medal? The girl closed her eyes to focus as the announcer came up to the podium and the judges took their seats at the corners of the cleared space.

_I'll win no matter what! Even if I have to beat both of them to get to Ganjou, I have to!_

However, his name was called first. Natsuki looked up at his confident walk to the marker on the mat, observing his leer towards her which was followed by an annoying wink. The silence that covered the other three ended then, when the announcer said the name of the boy's opponent. It was Natsuki's lucky day.

"Kuga Natsuki," he said calmly, unaware of how much the two wanted this match up.

The girl grinned and stood up, walking towards her marker on the mat, and then locking eyes with Ganjou. Meanwhile, on the sidelines Shizuru was watching intently, having no idea what would happen now that these two were selected.

"Are you ready?" one of the judges asked, turning to both fighters who nodded in response.

The second the whistle blew, the whole conversation Natsuki had with Ganjou the night before flooded her mind, giving her such power that she practically disappeared before making her attack. More so than that, while she was fast, her strength was not to be underestimated either. She went for a simple jab, but to the center of his neck, aware of the serious damage she would cause. But although she hit skin, it wasn't what she had intended. The girl's eyes blinked for a split second when she saw that Ganjou was standing perfectly still with his palm held in front of him, wrapped around Natsuki's fist.

"I'm glad to see you take this seriously... it's going to make my job a whole lot easier if it looks like you started things, ne?"

With a smirk, the boy immediately moved his grip to snap Natsuki's wrist; but luckily, since she had been training with his own teacher she was able to foresee this and take less damage. The navy-haired girl was flung onto her back instead, rolling with the twist he gave to her joint, but leaving her flat on her back, exposed for the stomp which followed. The most she could do was roll to the side to avoid it and then up onto her feet ready for the follow up attack, but for some reason she wasn't. Natsuki looked to the other side of the mat where Ganjou was immobile, waiting for her move.

_So that's what he wants... for me to look bad by attacking his vital points, but then he defends and wins... Damn he's put a lot of thought into this idiotic scheme..._

That fact didn't slow her down though. Natsuki honestly didn't care about appearances, at least not in this match. She was already set on winning, and as long as she didn't do anything illegal no one else would think she was doing anything wrong.

_The guy's just a whiny brat!_

The navy-haired girl charged again, this time sweeping her leg low in order to trip him before switching feet and kicking out into his abdomen to gain some more ground. Upon the first contact, Ganjou flipped sidewise so that he was upside down, but managed to block to second kick from doing much other than pushing him away where he got his footing back and once again stood ready.

"Go ahead, keep attacking. I don't mind. This is just a warm up for me so-"

"Oh shut up will you!" Natsuki retorted, rushing him ready to punch.

"Fight me seriously, damn it!"

"... Fine," he smirked, ducking to the side to avoid that attack before extending his right arm and leg.

His hand gripped Natsuki's outstretched limb while his foot served to trip her up like a stick being thrown into bike spokes. Shizuru's eyes opened wide with shock when she saw the girl's arm pulled back behind her as Ganjou pivoted, planting his other foot on her back and kicking down.

"GAH!" Natsuki cried out as her face crashed into the floor.

Her shoulder had almost dislocated and she was so close to having her knee inverted. This guy really was strong, certainly on par with Shizuru, but perhaps the biggest difference was in the fact that while she had more finesse and technical skill, Ganjou's heart was merciless.

_Three…_ Natsuki's eyes quivered as she counted, _Two…_

The judges were almost about to call an end to the fight when the navy haired girl began lifting herself up off the ground, turning to face the boy and not even bothering to wipe the blood from her mouth.

"Tch... You're pathetic," she growled, "You think that beating me will automatically make you good enough to marry her?"

That hit a nerve.

"If getting me out of the picture is the only way you can get her, then really, you can't be that good in the first place," she watched him squirm in his thoughts.

"Face it. You're never going to beat her, and you're never gonna be good enough for her."

"Shut up!" he snapped, this time going on the offensive but in a very messy way.

"You're just some outsider who she never met!"

Both his verbal and physical skills dissipated upon hearing the girl's taunts. Ganjou was no longer fighting as a competitor in the Ashura Tournament, but as himself. The boy violently gripped the collar of Natsuki's uniform and raised his fist to punch her clean across the face. Even after the hit she was left with a little more composure than him, able to use their proximity to hook her leg behind his knees and push forward so that he fell to the ground beneath her.

"That doesn't make her a prize for you to win! And threatening me with some phony annulment is meaningless because she's never gonna love you!"

This had turned into a brawl. Natsuki was far beyond fed up with him, and had stopped fighting as a competitor also. It was just the two of them on the mats, swinging at each other.

"But I'm the only one good enough for her!" the boy shouted from beneath her.

Using all of his abdominal strength to sit up and flip Natsuki on her back, he held a hand around her throat, increasing the pressure quickly. Despite numerous warnings from the judges for them to get up or risk disqualification, it didn't stop Ganjou from his attempt to pummel the girl. Her jade eyes shut tightly when she saw the fist clench above her, bracing for it. However, the second before the hit connected, Ganjou was stopped; and when Natsuki opened her eyes she saw Shizuru standing over her with an expression she'd never seen.

The tight hold on her neck was released, giving her the air she gasped for when she saw what came next. Shizuru's eyes were dark with malice, instilling fear into her subordinate while giving him the chance to see the position he was in. The girl had her hand wrapped around Ganjou's wrist, and unlike what she had shown in her spars with Natsuki, Shizuru lashed her arm in a whip-like motion, taking the boy with her. Not only was his body twisted and smashed into the floor, but his joint had been shattered. Natsuki had scurried to the side to keep her distance from the two, cringing when she heard the tortured scream from the boy's throat.

"...Fujino...dono..." he whimpered, his eyes filled with tears.

"Uwate-san, do you know something that I don't?"

"I-I... Nothing! Agh!"

"Very well, you do not have to indulge me. You are no longer my student," she tossed him aside, "I will never be yours; so be certain I never hear your name again."

The crowd around them was cloaked in murmurs about the very surprising turn of events, but it all fell on the deaf ears when the judges approached the three fighters. One knelt down to aid Ganjou and confirm his disqualification for poor behaviour, while the others walked up to the girls.

"For obvious reasons we will have to disqualify you both as well. You are not allowed to interfere with another's match."

"I understand," Shizuru replied, lifting Natsuki up and carrying her with her arm over her shoulder.

"If you would please leave the arena," another said, motion to the exit.

"Mm," the navy-haired girl agreed, though her attention seemed to be fading.

The adrenaline from the fight was wearing off and her face tensed into a more painful expression.

"Natsuki?"

"Ugh... I'm okay, just," she tried taking a step, "Ah!"

"No, we're going home right away, you need to rest," and before she knew it, Shizuru swept her other arm beneath Natsuki's injured legs and carried her off of the stage.

The girl's first instinct was to struggle away, but her eyelids fell heavily after a long day of fighting and such an explosive finale. It wasn't so bad after all; in fact it was comforting to be so close. She leaned her head closer to Shizuru's chest, and let herself be taken away. Tonight Natsuki saw what the other girl was hiding inside of her, that raw and nearly monstrous emotional form. It did not frighten her though, not at all, it had saved her.


	12. Kiss From a Rose

**XII - Kiss From a Rose**

"Really, I can walk now, I'm okay," Natsuki insisted as they trudged through the front door.

"If you say so..." Shizuru responded hesitantly.

She moved aside so that the other girl could take a step on her own, although the second she did her knee gave out and she tumbled over. Luckily, Natsuki was caught before she fell but groaned at having to be carried; something that made Shizuru chuckle as they made their way upstairs.

"What?"

"You really don't like being served do you?"

"Not really..." the navy-haired girl sighed, but caught her words, "But not because of you! I don't like it when anyone helps me... I'm really bad at accepting kindness, so sorry if it seems like I'm ungrateful. I'm not though."

"I didn't think that," Shizuru replied with a smile, "Just that it was another one of your cute mannerisms. Whether you like it or not I'm going to take care of your wounds tonight."

She spoke in a joking tone to imply that she wasn't threatening, but a second later her expression fell sombre.

"... After all, it was one of my students who inflicted them on you."

Natsuki frowned; she couldn't shake the feeling of failure. She wanted to beat Ganjou fairly, but she couldn't. Even though he was the one to stop using proper technique first, the girl knew that she too had fallen to an emotional level that left her open for what would have been painful if Shizuru hadn't stepped in. Suddenly a smile crossed her lips.

"At least I got to see you kick his ass," she grinned brightly, "I mean, I really wanted to, but you have more of a right to. I had no idea you could be so dangerous."

"Ah... well, just like anyone I have limits, and he broke them when he did such a thing to you... That's all."

"But you were cool!" Natsuki exclaimed, treating Shizuru with a sort of idolatry which confused her.

"Even if we got disqualified, it was worth it to see you in a different light."

"Hm?" she wanted to find out what the girl was hiding behind those words.

"... I feel like I got a step closer to you... and it feels really nice..."

Shizuru just about dropped Natsuki by accident when she heard that; not having enough control over her muscles yet to keep them working when the girl was being kind to her. She tried her best not to let all of her happiness show, but still, she smiled. It was only a few more steps until they reached the top.

With a gentle push, Shizuru opened the guest bedroom door and sat Natsuki down on the mess of sheets.

"You need to clean up in here," she chuckled.

"Haha," the girl replied sarcastically, "I've been distracted with training. Now that the tournament is over I'll keep things a lot neater."

Shizuru just smiled, kneeling beside Natsuki's bed so that she was level with her before standing quickly to get the first aid kit. Again, the navy-haired girl followed her with her eyes, focused on her neck and shoulders, not overlooking her hair either. However, she wasn't as unaware of her lingering eyes like she was before Mai threw that wrench into her thoughts. Frowning, Natsuki pounded her head back into the pillow and stared at the ceiling until she heard the other girl come back.

"Okay, there should be enough to take care of your wounds in here," Shizuru said as she calmly took the closest of injured hands into her own. Once more, Natsuki's facial temperature rose but she continued to pass it off as stress related to the fights.

Using a cloth dampened with warm water, Shizuru began to wipe away to excess dried blood from the lesions. In fact, she was completely focused on this work for the moment; having no other thoughts than to make sure Natsuki was okay. Meanwhile the latter was allowing her exhaustion to take over, if only just to keep her chest from the awkward rumbling it was doing. She sighed.

_It feels like my when I'm hungry and my stomach growls..._

Soon enough, that first hand was done and it was on to the second. Like before, Shizuru cleaned the cuts and then proceeded to bandage them accordingly, leaving the last remaining wounds on her face and inside.

"Would you mind if I check to see the muscle damage?" the older girl asked.

"So that tomorrow I can get more appropriate medicine from the doctor."

Natsuki raised an eyebrow.

"You can do that?"

"Yes," she glowed with a little pride, "While I'm not a doctor myself, whenever I'm not training I enjoy studying to be a physiotherapist. It's what I'm going to university for. It helps in our line of work. And the doctor at my dojo is very good, although if you prefer I'll see the one at yours."

"Oh, no it's fine, you can see whoever. I was just curious," Natsuki said, "I didn't know I was hurt that bad. I didn't think I'd need a doctor."

"Well I'm not certain, but seeing what you went through it's safe to assume that there's at least some damage," she started with the girl's shoulder, but stopped the second Natsuki winced.

"Sorry, did that hurt?"

"Ah, no, your hands just surprised me," the navy-haired girl laughed, embarrassed, "Go on though, I'm fine."

Shizuru nodded and continued to feel over Natsuki's skin, looking down every so often to look at the bruising. It seemed to be a thing that looked worse than it was, but like she said, she didn't want to risk anything. Ruby eyes shut momentarily to ease her concentration on the muscle pattern. She could still feel Natsuki clench every so often, but presumed it was merely because of the injury.

"Mm," she hummed, "It isn't dislocated but the muscles around it are pulled and a little torn, you'll have to wear a sling."

"Got it," Natsuki replied, though somewhat annoyed with the fact that she wouldn't be able to move her arm for a while.

She then felt the soft hands trace their way down her back, but sensed difficulty.

"Now for your back. What Ganjou did was-"

"You don't have to do this," Natsuki interrupted.

"Ah? But Natsuki if you don't massage them now the swelling later on will be painful."

"I know... But," she sighed, "You know why..."

Shizuru was taken aback, only a little, but still felt a pang of cold emanate from her core. Pulling her hands away from the girl, she sat back on her knees.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... I just thought that's what a friend would do..." her voice was strained, and she suddenly couldn't meet the soft green eyes, "I'll go now."

Natsuki's eyes fluttered in the second Shizuru stood up to leave, and instinctively she reached up to grab the older girl's sleeve.

"No, you're right," she kept holding on, "It is what a friend would do. I- Actually I was worried about you... I didn't want you to feel obligated to put yourself in a difficult position just for my sake."

"Difficult position?" she raised an eyebrow, but by the time Natsuki started to blush she got the full idea of what she meant.

Pushing her other feelings aside with a smug facade, she sat back down ready to ease the moment with some humour.

"Mou Natsuki, you think I would take advantage of you while you're all beat up like that?"

The navy-haired girl frowned, but slowly began to laugh a little.

"Just help me," she grunted, using her good arm to pull off as much of her uniform as she could.

To Shizuru's own surprise, she wasn't feeling as anxious as she expected. She told Natsuki that it would not be a problem for her to control herself, but even when she spoke the words she doubted them inside. Yet now, when she was slowly, carefully, removing the clothing around the girl she actually didn't take it as anything more than helping her. It seemed as though her love had matured. She still loved Natsuki just as much, but now Shizuru was able to go one step further. This was still another way to express how much love she had for the girl, but not in a brazen way that would frighten her.

"There, this is much easier," Shizuru said now that she returned to Natsuki's back which was much easier to feel out now that the thick material was out of the way. Like her shoulder, nothing too serious had happened. It was mostly just pulls and minor tears that would heal over time. Nevertheless, she took some time to warm the region with her hands to ease the pain before gliding her hands further down, now sliding over Natsuki's strong, sinewy thighs. She doubted herself for a second again, but pushed her way down to the girl's knee where she was supposed to pay attention.

The navy-haired girl inhaled sharply when she felt the hands on her joint. A shudder ran through her that, despite it being painful, hit her chest. Natsuki closed her eyes tightly and took deep breaths as quietly as she could in an attempt to go under Shizuru's radar. Suddenly a tear slid down her cheek.

_What the hell is happening to me?!_

Upon hearing the arduous cough, Shizuru stopped her work to check if Natsuki was still okay; and since the latter's expression relaxed when she removed her hands she came to the logical conclusion that it was just because of the pain.

"Can you sit up for a minute?" she instructed, while getting the damp cloth again and this time positioning herself right in front of Natsuki's face, "This is the last of it."

Silence covered them for the time being, save for the heavy breaths of the younger girl that she still could not comprehend. She was trying to conceal it as much as possible, but in the end part of her was dying to throw itself into a confused rage. Inside herself, Natsuki was thrashing about and the only thing that stopped her physically was her extenuating injuries. When the cloth touched her cut lip tenderly, she first bit down on her teeth, feigning pain when really she was being consumed with fear.

At the same time, Shizuru was becoming more and more confused as well. Natsuki was doing her best to hide something, but the girl was intuitive. She wasn't sure what her intuition was telling her, but there was definitely something unusual happening inside the other girl's head. In order to tend to cuts better, Shizuru slid closer, now with her torso between Natsuki's bent knees that hung over the edge of the bed. Both of their movements were beginning to slow, but when the elder of the two continued to gently pat the scrapes something caught her by surprise. Her scarlet eyes caught sight of Natsuki's lips, unconsciously moving against her fingertips... as if to kiss them.

Her heart skipped a beat, suddenly feeling the intensity of Natsuki's breath on her skin and instantly looked up into the jade irises. They were locked then. No matter promises or implications either of them made earlier, they were caught, trapped in this moment; unable to escape no matter how hard they both tried. Dropping the cloth on the floor, Shizuru hesitantly arched herself upward. She didn't want to initiate anything, but at the same time she couldn't help it. In a few seconds they could taste each other's breath.

Natsuki's hands gripped the sheets when her tongue unconsciously ran over her lips. She was stunned with fright, but when she felt a warm hand slide its way up her back to rest at the base of her neck it vanished immediately; allowing her to close her eyes.

_I don't understand..._

And before she knew it, Natsuki moved forward ever so slightly, pressing their lips together in their first kiss.

Shizuru was just as surprised, no matter how well she was handling it, but she had dreamed about this for so long and now it was finally happening. She could feel Natsuki's heart beat faster when she moved her lips, never breaking away; and when she breathed in she could smell her scent better than ever. In a few seconds she felt a hand move its way behind her head, combing through her chestnut locks while at the same time securing her position for when the kiss intensified. The younger girl's throat expelled a low moan when she began to inhale through her mouth thereby opening it enough to guide their tongues together.

It was like a game now, where they were licking the inside of the other's mouth and it quickly escalated to other places. Natsuki made the first move for a second time, pulling away but only to shift to the side where she started to lick Shizuru's cheek, at the same time running her teeth over the porcelain skin and feeling her facial muscles tense into a smile when she hummed with pleasure.

"I love you..." Shizuru muttered softly, roaming her hands over Natsuki's powerful back.

However, that was what broke the spell. Natsuki instantly stopped moving, blinking to regain consciousness of her situation.

_She... She loves me..._

Her eyes clenched shut.

"I'm sorry..." she mumbled sadly, "I can't..." curling back.

_Not now..._

"Don't be," Shizuru replied, placing a hand on Natsuki's shoulder in a comforting manner.

"I'm not angry, or even hurt," that may have been a little bit of a white lie, "It's late, and we're both very tired."

She stood up to leave the room, softly patting the top of the midnight tresses.

"Good night Natsuki..."

Taking the initiative to leave required most of Shizuru's remaining strength. As soon as she was in the hallway, she shut the door behind her and leaned against the wall. Her heart was still racing.

"Natsuki... what are you thinking?"

-0-

_I can't breathe!_

Natsuki yelled to herself.

_I can't think! I can't stop screaming!_

She smashed her head into the pillow repeatedly, wishing she could just crawl away and disappear. More so than before she wanted to go on a rampage; doing what, she had no idea but there was so much that simply couldn't be expressed.

_Is this because of what Mai said? Does she really think I like Shizuru?_

She pulled the blanket over her entire body.

_I don't know... I'd never do something like that with anyone else... and Shizuru does make me feel different than my other friends, but I don't think it's love... She's a different person than them, but that doesn't mean I love her..._

The girl finally rolled onto her back, calm enough to breathe deeply and look up at the ceiling.

_... But... What if I do...?_

-0-

In the meantime, Shizuru was taking a much needed shower, both to clear her head and because of the physically active day she just had. Her body was aching too after a full day of fights, with only a few minor injuries that would go away on their own. She couldn't feel them right now though, or anything for that matter. The water splashed onto her head and ran over her form.

_I can still taste her..._

Shizuru ran her fingers over her mouth, having fallen open from shock.

_She kissed me... but she also ended it._

She sighed and shut off the water, shaking her hair dry and then wrapping a towel around her like a cape. Her emotions were heightened and all she could do was wait for tomorrow. Natsuki had ended things so suddenly and with such vague words she couldn't interpret anything. Besides, in the end it was out of her control. If it was just a momentary lapse, it wasn't going to lead anywhere.

_But what if it wasn't?!_

Shizuru closed her hand over her eyes, grinding her teeth.

_I can't get the thought out of my head!_

-0-

It took a while for the girls to get to sleep because of all the flooding thoughts brought on by Natsuki's actions. Luckily neither had anything important to do the next day so they could allow themselves to sleep in. By now it was a little past one o'clock in the afternoon, and on her wobbly legs Natsuki attempted to make her way downstairs to the kitchen. The entire house was quiet except for her slow moving steps and without speaking the girl's eyes scanned her surroundings to see if Shizuru was around. It appeared that she was either still in her room or out somewhere.

_I can't exactly blame her for not wanting to be around me…_

She sighed when she reached the bottom of the stairs.

_Talk about screwing up big time… If only I didn't do something so stupid…_

"Agh!" she cried, feeling the pain in her limbs and rushing to the wall in order to balance herself, "Damn it…"

"Natsuki?!" she heard Shizuru call from the front door.

"What are you doing? You shouldn't be moving around!"

Not hesitating, or even taking off her coat, the elder girl rushed to the navy-haired one's side and hoisted her up over her shoulder, then into the kitchen where she could sit down. It took until she was settled in place for either of them to realize they hadn't spoken. Neither could figure out what to say, if anything at all. First to break the awkward tension was Shizuru, who looked away and then walked to the door to hang up her coat as well as pick up the bag she had brought in with her.

Natsuki watched carefully with a hint of sadness, unable to express her apology. And before she could think any further Shizuru had returned with what she had been out getting. It was just some basic supplies that Natsuki would need in order to recover easier.

"Here," she first handed her the sling, but unlike last night where she was so close when being helpful, Shizuru merely placed it on the counter and slid it halfway over, waiting for Natsuki to take it the rest of the way, "I also got the painkillers from the doctor, and some other things I thought you might need."

"… Thank you," Natsuki managed a smile.

"It's just what a good friend would do right?" Shizuru offered with a lopsided smile, attempting to seem carefree about everything.

Natsuki on the other hand was stunned by the statement. She didn't know why but when she heard Shizuru refer to her as a friend, she felt cold inside. There was a part of her that was adamant about not wanting to be brought down to the level of a friend, and it was clawing its way through her heart. She tried to push it away, but her inner strength was dissolving; and more than anything it was that which frightened her.

In Shizuru's mind, she was certain that she was being safe at first, but when she saw the girl's expression she had to reach out.

"Natsuki…?" she ventured speaking her name, but when she did the one in question shut her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"I'm sorry," her voice was wrapped with struggle, wrestling with that fearful part of herself to the point of it temporarily winning, "But can we not talk about it? Let's just… forget it happened and move on like we were before."

Shizuru's expression dampened. No matter how much her rationality tried to fight it, she had been hooked on her dream sequence. She was playing over a slew of fantasies the whole time she had gone out, anticipating her return and hoping Natsuki was doing the same. Shizuru imagined her walking in, the younger having the morning to come to terms with her feelings and welcome her with open arms.

_But now... it's like she didn't have them at all..._

Shizuru collected herself as best she could and forced out a masked nod of agreement, not wanting to pressure Natsuki any further.

"...Very well," she said softly while sitting down next to her.

When the navy-haired girl took a bite of some fruit from the basket on the counter, Shizuru did the same, munching quietly for a few minutes before trying to speak again.

"Would you like anything more to eat? I can make you something..."

"I'm okay," Natsuki replied simply, before looking up into scarlet eyes again, "Thank you though."

"Mm," the elder of the two had little to say at this point, truly having lost her lustre at the way everything she wanted was fading quickly.

Not that they knew it, but one thing they surely had in common was the sort of admirable fear they had for each other and their ability to swing their emotions into such high states of either happiness or hurt.

Shaking her head in an attempt to get the frustrating thoughts out of the way, Shizuru sat up straighter and took a deep breath; in a more professional manner. There was something that plagued her mind, and that would be the events of yesterday's tournament.

"Natsuki-"

She stopped quickly when she saw the expression on the navy-haired girl's face, the way it stiffened uncomfortably.

"No... it's not about that..." she reassured her, "I want to ask you something about the fight yesterday."

"Oh, what is it?"

Shizuru's eyes moved around the table as she unconsciously fidgeted with her fingers, wondering if she should turn back now before she asked.

"It's okay," Natsuki said in a mildly comforting tone.

In her own way she was trying to undo what she had begun to think was harsh earlier. She didn't want Shizuru to think that she was angry with her, but needed to force herself to make her hesitance on the subject known. Declaring such a rejecting phrase was merely the first thing that came to mind.

"Well, during the fight both you and Uwate-san were talking about something that I am unclear about. What was it really that caused you both to lose control and brawl like that? It seemed quite strange and unnecessary, considering you two only met a few days ago and Uwate-san isn't the type to hinder his image unless he wasn't aware he was doing so."

The hand Natsuki was resting on the counter, absent-mindedly making shapes with her fingers, immediately clenched into a fist at the mention of Ganjou's name. Her brows furrowed and she glared down at her reflection in the marble. Just thinking about what he did made her angry, so much so that she could hardly figure out how to put it into words. Her thoughts expressed themselves yesterday in the form of a physical fight, and looking back on it today Natsuki was beginning to feel more shameful than anything about it.

"I'm still angry that I lost to him," she grimaced, "Even if nothing will come of it because he lost too, it's not like I beat him..."

Shizuru curiously observed the newly seen, vengeful side of Natsuki.

"I wanted to punish him..." she muttered.

"What for?" she slid her hand over to hold the younger girl's, but halted at a short distance away.

"The thing that he was talking about when we were fighting... how much did you hear?"

"I heard something about an annulment, but no more than that, you were too far away," Shizuru's thoughts stopped for a second and her face went white, "Wait! Was he talking about us?"

The navy-haired girl nodded.

"I don't know how much of it is possible... maybe he was just trying to scare me and he doesn't have anything at all... but he said he had the connections to make our engagement disappear, and that if I lost he would change it all so that you would have to marry him."

She scoffed.

"The guy is seriously insane."

Shizuru leaned back a little, loosening control of her muscles and closing her eyes. Even though it seemed to be too far out of Ganjou's power to do such a thing, the thought was frightening enough. But there was something more that was slowly seeping through her flashbacks of the previous day: the unprofessional way Natsuki was fighting. Briefly glancing up to meet the girl's emerald eyes, Shizuru spoke inquisitively.

"Natsuki... who were you fighting for yesterday?"

"Huh?" she raised an eyebrow.

"In the final match, it was you fighting; it was your feelings, not the feelings of anyone who's trained you. Who was it for?" her tone was only short because she was desperate for the answer.

Natsuki blinked once and looked down, it was the first time she thought of that particular question. She was also surprised that she came up with the answer rather quickly.

_If I was fighting for myself..._

She looked up again, trembling a little on the surface.

"I... I did it so that you," her voice was crackling as she was forcing the true words out.

"I was doing it to make sure you wouldn't have to marry him. That's why I lost control, because I wanted to make sure that no matter what he would see that I was stronger than him; because the only way he couldn't go through with what he said was if I proved I could take better care of you than him."

Shizuru tried to control her face from becoming pink, but the thought of Natsuki putting herself through that much pain for her sake certainly made her heart melt. Although at the same time, it wasn't long before the fluffiness of her emotions sank to anger because Natsuki had become so injured. Not to mention, the subject of their "dispute" was annoying as well; but before she could ask more Natsuki spoke again.

"He called me the night before to tell me about his ultimatum and when I told him it was ridiculous he said I didn't have a choice but to play by his rules. If I chose not to fight it would make him look superior and get more people on his side."

She tried to choose her next words carefully.

"I did it for you in the sense that I didn't want you to be forced into something you didn't want."

Shizuru blinked, surprised that the girl was defending herself after having done something selfless; but she could tell that her last phrase was edited for her benefit.

"Thank you," she replied with a soft smile.

"Yeah... well... I wanted to do it," Natsuki tried to catch herself before this conversation went down a path she didn't want; despite the fact that no matter what everything was leading there, "I just plain didn't like him in the first place, and I'm glad he got what he deserved, even if I wasn't the one to deal it."

The two paused in silence, both remembering the thickness of the atmosphere the moment Shizuru had stepped into the fray.

"Can I ask something?" the navy-haired girl's waited until she received a nod to continue, "I'm not judging you, but how were you able to really just disown him like that? If it were me, even if there was someone like him under me I would have a hard time expelling them."

Shizuru inhaled deeply, becoming more serious.

"There are certain things that I will not tolerate, no matter who it is from. At the top of that list is hurting you."

Natsuki froze.

"My only regret is that I didn't stop him before he hurt you this much. He is inferior to both of us in terms of professional fighting, so I didn't consider what would happen if that mentality disappeared. Uwate-san was clearly training especially hard for this tournament, but truly, the only thing that separates us from being first place and second is our technical skill, not physical strength."

"Mm," Natsuki hummed, she didn't to seem like she was ignoring Shizuru, but in truth after she heard the conviction in her voice the girl was attempting to shut it out.

She hated herself for her behaviour, but at that same time couldn't stop for her own survival. No matter what she did, her thoughts always returned to her feelings and the way they exploded last night. It was so much easier when she kept herself closed from ties to anyone, at least beyond friendship, but now knowing having seen exactly how much Shizuru thought of her made it so much more complicated.

_I always knew she loved me... but I didn't know what it meant. I always thought of our friendship from my point of view, thinking that it was me who wanted to be friends with her... But I'm... I'm important to her too... I'm this important to her... Why is it only hitting me now?_

"Natsuki?"

"Hm?"

"You've been quiet for a while now... Are you alright?" it was a somewhat rhetorical question.

With a sigh, Natsuki swallowed her pride.

"I owe you an explanation," she looked rather fiercely into crimson eyes.

"What for?"

"You know what for."

Suddenly it was like their first real conversation all over again.

"For last night. It's wrong of me to just act like it didn't happen, or expect you to," she made sure to breathe.

"You've been more kind to me than anyone and I never understood why until now. But still I gave in to wanting to make you happy."

"Natsuki-"

"Wait... let me explain..."

Shizuru stopped as was asked of her, but now Natsuki couldn't speak.

"It's just... when you get close I feel so confused... and I don't want to be confused anymore."

Shizuru sat at the table, staring blankly ahead, consumed by her thoughts as navy blue hair flitted away in the wind of the younger girl's movement. Despite her injuries, Natsuki walked away wordlessly; hiding her frown for just abandoning Shizuru like that. She simply couldn't bring herself to say any more. If she did she would ruin the situation even more than she had. The only way to salvage it was to put it behind them.

_These feelings are just physical and meaningless... For the sake of what we had..._

Natsuki gazed over her shoulder at the girl in the kitchen.

_For that friendship... we can't ever become more..._


	13. Escape

**XIII – Escape**

The past few weeks had been action packed; both emotionally and in scheduling. Starting with Shizuru's birthday, the time when Natsuki's budding attraction was first challenged, to the tournament where all of her feelings physically exploded. It was all in the last half of December which was inevitably leading to tonight, the last day of the year. The snow was tumbling down quite a bit, covering the sunset with dark clouds. Not that it mattered; after all it would be dark soon anyway.

As for the two girls alone in the quiet house, ever since the younger's most frustrating behaviours they hadn't spoken as much as they used to. What their friendship was growing into had been suddenly halted and so, even now as they were both in the living room, they remained at opposite ends and rarely spoke. It wasn't out of anger on any side, but fear, although the silver lining to the predicament was that they both understood that fact and didn't take the silence personally. No one was at fault for the actions; at least Shizuru did not blame Natsuki as much as the latter thought she did.

The chestnut-haired girl was sitting on the sofa and would peer up from her book every few seconds to check on Natsuki, but the result was always the same blank expression. Shizuru sighed inwardly and turned back to the words on the page, shifting her feet from flat on the floor to curl beside her on the cushions. Such bodily expression did not go unnoticed by the navy-haired girl who was being observant in her own way. She was trying to force her emerald eyes to become hypnotized by the snowfall, but was constantly caught by Shizuru's reflection in the glass. Stubbornly remaining in place, her empty stare at the outdoors was actually a thoughtful gaze as the image of the older girl.

By the next time she noticed Shizuru look up, Natsuki finally got conversation rolling by moving her arm around a bit and stretching it.

"I'm feeling a lot better," she said, now bending her knee to show that it wasn't just her arm.

"I've always been a fast healer, luckily," she turned to face Shizuru fully now.

"I'm glad," the girl said with a bright smile, enhanced by the fact that Natsuki had begun talking to her, "I knew that if you stuck to complete bed rest it wouldn't take long. And that wasn't as great a challenge as I thought it would be."

Natsuki looked down at Shizuru's half-hearted laugh which followed her words. Normally it really would have been troublesome for the younger girl to be taken care of, but her temporary depression had made her lethargic enough to not be motivated to fight against the aid. And of course there was the part of her that she kept secret even from herself; the part that smiled so genuinely whenever Shizuru would help her.

From her gaze on the floor, emerald eyes then turned back over Natsuki's shoulder to the snow once more. The amount that was piling up at first made her feel dreary, but out of nowhere a spark made her expel a quiet giggle.

_Shizuru would look so cute playing in the snow.  
_

Her eyes opened wide when the thought ended and she was left with the other girl staring at her laughter with an odd look. Natsuki could feel the persistent flame inside her flare up again when their eyes incidentally met, and tearing herself away was becoming more and more painful each time. She wanted to stay there. She wanted to be happy about remembering something so personal about Shizuru. She wanted to express it again... which was precisely what made her need to escape.

Without another word, Natsuki flitted off to the stairway which led to her room, leaving Shizuru to now sigh louder than before and fall back onto the couch so that she was fully laid out. That hand that held her book was dropped to the floor while the over was flung over her forehead.

_Why is she afraid of the one thing I want so much?_

-0-

Meanwhile upstairs, Natsuki was pacing around her room and grinding her teeth, shaking her head back and forth while covering her ears. She wanted to scream, but the most she was able to do was throw her pillow at the wall before diving onto her bed and yelling into it. It was like when they had first met all over again, except the bar was raised. The stakes were higher now every time that Natsuki made a wrong step along the way.

_It's so pathetic! Here I am stepping on the mines and yet all I can think about is pushing her out of the way so she doesn't get hurt! But these feelings will disappear, I know they will, feelings always disappear!_

She was now reeling with nonsense.

_Trust doesn't exist! I have to believe in that... No matter how good any of our intentions are it will eventually get ruined and we'll end up hurt... and I'm not gonna be the one to hurt her!_

Just then the phone rang, distracting Natsuki from her mental rant in order to pick up the receiver. However, her voice still carried the distress of her breakdown.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kuga," it was Nao, "Are you busy to- Wait, are you okay?"

There was a deep silence on Natsuki's end of the line, but after she calmed enough to sit down on her bed, the girl bent over, covered her shaking eyes and whimpered into the phone.

"Nao... I have a crush on my fiancée..."

Despite the slightly oxymoronic undertone of the statement, the redhead merely shook her head and replied.

"Yeah... we kinda knew..." she wasn't sure what else to say besides the truth.

"What?! What do you mean you knew?! Why didn't you tell me?" Natsuki barked.

"We thought you knew!" Nao yelled back, their banter usually was at a high volume.

"And even if you didn't, it was better for you to understand on your own than if we just told you. Even then, Mai snapped first and _did_ tell you."

"Ugh! If it weren't for that none of this would have happened!"

"Hey, don't blame her for saying what we were all thinking; but wait, what are you talking about?"

"Mai told me the night before the tournament, then it was on my mind the whole day and at the end I..." she clenched her fist, "Nao I kissed her!"

-0-

"Oh man..." the redhead placed a hand on her forehead and fell flat on her back again after having been leaning up on one arm with the phone in her hand.

"What is it?" asked the mousy brunette, who peered out from beside Nao, running her fingers over the aforementioned hand and leaning her head on the shoulder.

Nao put the phone to her chest to muffle the sound of her talking to Yukino.

"The short version? Kuga did something dumb," she giggled, "You still sure it's okay for her to join us tonight? I think she needs it more than before now too."

"It's alright with me," she sat up, pulling the loose sheet with her and sliding her glasses on, "I don't mind sharing your attention."

Nao smirked.

"You're a better person than me," she held her line of sight on the slender silhouette for a second longer before returning to her conversation with Natsuki.

-0-

"Well, I can already imagine what you're thinking, so how about you come to Kagayaki's New Year's party tonight with me and Yukino? That's why I called in the first place."

"Hm... but what about Shizuru though?" Natsuki said after a short pause.

"Well the invitation was extended to her too..."

"No," the navy-haired girl stopped herself instantly, "No I don't mean that in a bad way just... I think I could really use the time out of this house without her; it would help in the long run. Besides she isn't the type to party at a club."

"Hmph, neither are you," Nao scoffed jokingly.

"Whatever, I'll think of something... Just meet me there."

"Alright then, if you say so... Just don't be an ass about it, got me?"

Natsuki groaned.

"Little late for that..." and then hung up.

The navy-haired girl started by laying out her outfit on her bed, taking the time to come up with a reasonable way for her to basically say she would rather spend New Year's away from Shizuru without seeming mean. However, right on cue the older girl walked by her room and knocked on the door.

"Natsuki?"

"Yeah, come in," she said quietly, feeling guilty about Shizuru walking in on her preparing clothing for a night away from her.

But to her surprise the older girl had an expression of relief on her face.

"Are you going out tonight?"

"Uhh, well Nao invited me to this New Year's party at Kagayaki... and it just didn't seem like your kinda thing so..."

"That's alright," she offered a smile, "You're right, it's not, and if you want to spend the night with your friend I understand."

The navy-haired girl groaned inwardly again. Going was like saying that they weren't friends anymore, but it was just something she had to do.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to be lonely..."

"I'll be fine. It's not my first night alone after all, and I could use the time..." she turned to go back downstairs.

"... I think it will do us both well, so don't spend the night depressed okay?"

Jade eyes blinked at how... easy, it had been. It was uncommon for Shizuru to just give up time with Natsuki so simply, but on some level even the romantically dense girl could sense that it was only that way because Shizuru would ultimately yield to her wishes.

-0-

After waving a short goodbye to Natsuki, Shizuru closed the door behind her to keep the chilly night air from consuming the empty house. Despite saying that she would appreciate the solitude, she only realized now that it seemed all the more lifeless than any of the other random times Natsuki had gone out for the day. With her back still leaning against the door, she could feel the cold seep through her skin and into her muscles, urging her to move away before she became stuck in place.

She pushed off the wood and took a few steps forward, out of the foyer and now into the living room where she started setting up the fireplace. Her lips curled into a bit of a smile when she remembered the first night they had used it; coming home from her birthday party in the cold and Natsuki rushed to it immediately. Shizuru turned the burning logs once more and sat back on her knees, now remembering the night with sadness in her eyes. They were so close then. Physically, emotionally, everything. It was perfect... yet that was what created the rift.

_Natsuki... I don't understand your feelings... Your thoughts, sometimes I can... But not your feelings. Do you truly not care about me? I-_

She choked on her emotions, clenching her fists.

_I don't believe that you feel nothing at all!_

The girl moved from the floor onto the sofa where she picked up her book from the coffee table and continued to read it but quickly became bored. She couldn't concentrate on the content, so there was no point to even try right now.

_Maybe I'll see if Haruka and Reito want to-_

She reached for the phone but stopped.

_No... They're a couple; they probably want this evening for themselves._

She sighed.

_Well... I guess it really is just me tonight._

-0-

Natsuki didn't have far to walk from the bus stop to the club. She pulled her scarf closer around her face nonetheless to avoid the cold as she scanned the area for the people she was going to meet with. It had been a while since she had come here, and it was actually quite nostalgic looking at the neon signs. After meeting Shizuru, the part of her that required release in a place like this slowly left her. She was growing more and more content with her daily life and no longer needed the outburst of overflowing music pummelling her ears.

"Hey! Over here!"

Nao's voice shouted over the talking crowd lined up outside the doors. Natsuki immediately went towards it, pushing past a few people before getting to the pair to whom she gave a meagre wave and stayed silent.

"Come on... you're here to get your mind off it right?" the redhead said, but with a trace of annoyance that didn't go unnoticed.

"Don't feel like you need to hide the fact that you sympathize with her," the navy-haired girl closed her eyes and dropped her hands into her pockets.

"I'm the one who screwed up, so I understand if you're taking her side."

"Ugh, you and your fighter's brain. There aren't any sides here, we just want what's best for everyone... just doesn't come easy."

"Umm... I'm still confused as to what exactly happened," the brunette mentioned while looking back and forth between the two.

"Me too, I mean you told me the basics but not why."

"Why? We were both tired and I didn't control myself. I felt physically attracted to her so I gave in and kissed her. Nothing more. That's why this is so damn hard!"

She tensed her body again.

"That's why I have to do this, to get over her... Because all I feel is a crush and I'm not about to hurt her any more than I already have."

"How will you acting on your feelings for her be a bad thing? She likes you too..."

Natsuki shook her head.

"No, she doesn't. She loves me."

"...I understand," Yukino said, earning odd stares from both of them, "You don't believe that your feelings now will last, and you know that the one thing worse than getting her hopes up and then letting her down is to live up to her hope and then take it away."

Natsuki blinked at how accurate the wise words were, but quickly nodded after.

"Exactly. If we remain friends, then it will be just like before when we were happy... But if it didn't work out between us it would wreck everything, and I refuse to break her heart."

Nao stood still with her arms folded over her chest, sighing puffs of mist into the chilly wind. Of the three she was definitely the least likely to give in to what Natsuki was saying. She didn't want to be hard on her friend tonight, so she stayed quiet, but she still believed that there was more seriousness to the navy-haired girl's feelings than she was even aware of. Not only that, but she was a firm believer in taking risks, and right now all she saw was her friend giving up on a chance at happiness.

"Well," she shrugged, "It's only a matter of time before you see if you're right or wrong, so let's just enjoy tonight, alright?"

The other two nodded and Yukino huddled under the redhead's arm to protect herself from the cold; and when she saw their warm faces Natsuki let out a lopsided smile from behind her frustration.

The trio had waited in line almost twenty more minutes before finally coming face to face with the bouncer who, in a domineering fashion as expected, demanded to see their tickets. Yet suddenly an awkward silence fell over the group.

"... I'm sorry?" Nao offered with a sheepish grin to the clearly displeased Natsuki.

"You invited me the night of the party and forgot to get me a ticket?" her eye twitched in annoyance but looked up at the large man, "Can I pay now?"

He looked her up and down, then to the other two, ending with a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Well, since you three are together, and you're cute, I'll let you in if you pay triple."

The redhead's jaw dropped and she stepped forward angrily.

"No way! Triple?!"

"The place is packed ladies, you gotta gimme a reason to let you in if you don't have a real ticket," he winked at them.

Natsuki just rolled her eyes at his sleazy attitude.

"Whatever, I don't min-" her sentence was cut short by the shock emanating from their small group when the shyest girl leapt onto Nao's lips, kissing her deeply and even going so far as to slide her left leg up to the girl's hip and pull her closer.

Needless to say, the bouncer's mouth gaped and he stood there, stunned and blinked at the girls.

"Uhh... yeah, you're in..." he stuttered out, moving aside to let them pass.

Nao led the way in with a prideful smirk, hand in hand with Yukino who was skipping along innocently, and last was Natsuki who still was in disbelief over what had just happened.

"That was quite something back there hun," the redhead said with an arm loosely over her girlfriend's shoulders.

"It-it just happened, I wasn't even really thinking..." Yukino mumbled out, even while receiving a happy pat on the head as they went inside to first and foremost get a table.

Natsuki was already feeling like the third wheel, and even more disturbed with herself for the way her heart fluttered at the sight of the two girls kissing earlier. She hid it with a bleak expression, but it made her feel the same way Shizuru's touch made her feel. Without physical contact, the sight made heat grow from inside her... but with it, it was twice as scorching.

_Scorching..._ she reiterated in her mind, _that's exactly what it is... A heat so inescapable, for the both of us._

With a sigh, Natsuki sat down on one side of the empty U-shaped booth they had found on the edge of the dance floor; and the couple sat together on the other side. She slid her arms out of her coat and tossed it to the corner of the bench, then leaned back to look at the two in front of her.

"So, what brings you two here tonight anyway? I mean, no offence but this doesn't seem like your kinda place..."

Natsuki mentioned to Yukino after they had all settled in.

"Well, when we met at your Halloween party we both got to talking about how we didn't like dancing, but then Nao-chan said that it was just a certain kind and that one day she would show me something like this."

"I see..."

"And I must say, it's quite exciting!" she replied, lit up surprisingly.

Natsuki just nodded and continued sitting, looking around at all the people dancing. Everyone around her was so energetic, the holiday evening was upon them and the music was upbeat; yet the navy-haired girl couldn't get the seriousness off of her face. This once again led Nao to be the voice of reason.

"Look," she slammed her hand on the table to get Natsuki's attention, "I can't say I agree with what you're doing, but if you insist then at least do it right so that your plan has a chance of working."

"Huh?"

"You came here to get over Shizuru right? So you two could go back to being friends and not worry about breaking up with someone you're gonna marry anyway, right?"

"Uh, yeah," she was a bit stunned by the bluntness.

"Well, then start dancing. Come on," she stood up with Yukino and held her hand out to her friend, "I don't want to leave you behind just because we wanna dance."

"I'm alright," Natsuki replied, rubbing her hands together, "I'm still a bit cold from the trip here so I just want to sit."

She caught the disapproving look.

"I'll join you in a bit, just... I need some time."

The girl rolled her lime eyes, and stepped back, taking her over excited girlfriend with her.

"Suit yourself," she said, waving her hand while disappearing into the crowd and leaving Natsuki to think.

However, a few rows down her solemn expression had been watched by a young man that had kept eyes on her the moment she entered the building. His eyes were a combined shade of olive and hazel and with his spiky dark hair and athletic build he was rather attractive; although it seemed that the one girl he wanted to notice him was going to be the last if it was left up to fate. And so, logically, the boy decided to take fate into his own hands.

Natsuki had her gaze rested on Nao and Yukino dancing in the distance, admiring their dynamic as a couple when all of a sudden she heard the clink of a glass on the table. Blinking, the girl turned to see a stranger with an alluring smile slide into the booth, sitting across from her. She didn't even have the time to say anything before he was ordering a drink from a nearby waitress on her behalf, after which he finally introduced himself.

"The name's Takeda, what's your's bright eyes?"

The girl groaned initially at his assumptive behaviour, but was also interested by his determination. He may not have been ideal, but at least he wasn't boring. Audacious was better than tedious, so she decided to indulge him.

"Natsuki."

She said quiet but firmly, taking the drink handed to her by the waitress and meeting his stare with intrigue. Judging by his charming behaviour this may have been the opportunity she was looking for.

"Pretty," he replied, but then looked out onto the dance floor, then back at her.

"So, why are you sitting here all alone while your friends are out there having fun?"

"No reason."

"Ah, stood up?" he joked to a dead face.

"Hah... something like that," she finished her drink, and coincidentally another had been ready right on time, only now she stared at her reflection in it while thinking about the girl at home.

"Someone got stood up... I'm just the jerk, that's all."

"I find that hard to believe," he flashed a bright smile, "Someone as cute as you can't be too mean."

"Pff, don't make me regret talking to you," she scoffed.

"Fine fine, but you aren't exactly gonna win guys over by having "I'm a jerk" as your opener."

Again Natsuki fell silent. Her resolve was wavering and before she knew it she had downed another glass of alcohol. Takeda spoke of winning guys over. And that was what she wanted. She was sure she wanted that.

_It's easier if I'm with a guy. No social stigma. No questions. It blends in and no one will notice me... But..._

She felt an arm fall across the back of her shoulders when the boy moved closer to her. Still not being too intimate, but making his intentions known.

"Don't underestimate me," she said with a grin, "I know what you want, and you're trying to get me drunk in order to get it."

"Then stop drinking," he winked, "If you want to be sober to be with me, then go ahead."

Natsuki held her ground, looking into his eyes thoughtfully. A newly filled glass slid towards her on the table. She closed her eyes, gripped the glass tightly, and drank the whole thing in one gulp. This was just something she had to do, and she knew the only way she would be able to was drunk. Never breaking eye contact, Natsuki placed the empty glass on the table and signalled for another from the waitress, suddenly taking control of the situation. Takeda obliged to the shift in dominance, sliding back to allow her to increase her height by sitting on one knee and lean forward.

-0-

A few metres away, the first one to catch a glimpse of what was happening was Yukino, who took the break in music to stop and turn Nao in Natsuki's direction. The two girls stood silent and still in the middle of the club's loud swarm, that was, until the redhead made a swift turn towards the opposite end of the club.

"Nao-chan? Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna end this!" the girl stomped through the dancers.

"Bringing Natsuki here was such a mistake. I did it so that she could be in a fun atmosphere, not so that she could hook up with some random idiot!"

"But what can you do?" Yukino asked between strained breaths until they exited through the back door.

"Me? I can't do anything... that's why I'm getting the one person who can," Nao said, flipping open her phone and hitting the speed dial for her friend's house.

-0-

"Hello?" Shizuru answered the ringing in a rather monotone voice, but the chaotic sound on the other end of the line was what caught her attention the most.

"Fujino, you need to get down here right away."

Said girl merely sat up from her sprawled position on the sofa, rubbing her eyes and straightening her back.

"Nao-san? What is it?"

"It's Kuga, she needs you," she heaved a breath.

"Whether she knows it or not, or wants to admit or not, or whatever her problem is, she needs you!"

Shizuru's heart sank upon the mention of Natsuki's name. It was probably the first time that she didn't feel the energy to just jump to the girl's aid. Not out of anger though, since she wasn't exactly angry with Natsuki, but she couldn't deny her own pain and the fact that after spending most of the night alone she was losing the will to keep up this fight. What led her on was hope, but now that it seemed like she was closer than ever to realizing her dream, the fall would be too devastating if Natsuki pulled away again.

"... Natsuki doesn't need me," she finally muttered.

"I stuck on the outside of her world, even if she's the centre of mine. I don't know what she wants to do any more than you do... And I..." she sighed.

"I don't have the strength to keep testing such rough waters."

"Then take it from me!" Nao pleaded.

"I'm her best friend and I'm telling you, you've changed her so much in such a short time already! Before she met you she would only smile because it was a learned response to a situation, but with you, she doesn't even notice how often she laughs for real. Right now she's so scared of herself because she doesn't want to hurt you! She's here trying to get over you!"

Scarlet eyes blinked when Shizuru gasped.

"Get... over me? But then, why isn't she here with me?"

"Because she doesn't know what her feelings mean, which is why she needs you! You're the only one who can prove to her that fighting it is useless."

_Natsuki... You really are a dense child..._

Shizuru thought with a frustrated chuckle.

"... Very well," the elder girl hung up after that ambiguous reply, leaving Nao confused.

Even in the moment she said it a part of her still was hyper vigilant of the risk. Shizuru sat on the couch for no more than a minute, staring at the floor; at first with an expression of desperation which transformed into a grin.

_What am I thinking? Going down without a fight? How unseemly._

And with a swift motion, the girl pivoted around the edge of the couch while standing, grabbing her coat with one hand, and opening the door with the other. This was going to be a battle unlike any other, the true final fight between the two girls. By the arrival of the New Year, one would fall.

-0-

It didn't take long before Takeda could tell by the reddening of Natsuki's cheeks that her lowered inhibitions were taking effect. It would only be a matter of time before they both could get carried away. Takeda kept up his charisma, using it to hide his agenda of wanting only one thing. What drew him to Natsuki though was her complexity. He couldn't explicitly figure it out, but her mixed signals made this hunt a lot more interesting than an average girl who would go home with him right way. Everything about her actions told him she wanted to do this, but her movements were always stopping her. She would blame it on the music being too loud, or the crowd being too active, or a headache, but she would always pull back from his embrace.

"Still thinking about that ex of yours?" he took a swig of his own drink.

"No," she shook her head, if only for her own resolution, "Not an ex, we never were anything..."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Okay wait, so if you weren't dating, then why are you having such a hard time being with me?"

"I'm not!" Natsuki shouted, ironically while pushing him away and curling down to her knees.

"You just don't get it..."

"Got that right," he replaced his grin, leaning over so that he was now enveloping her from behind,

"But sometimes the only way to get into the deep end is to dive head first."

The girl's emerald eyes blinked in shock at both the sudden touch and the words. He had a point. Everything she felt was being balanced on the peak of a cliff. The stakes were high and her care for Shizuru was what was making her cross to the opposite side as slowly as possible in order to not cause any problems. But in doing so she had never made it fully across.

_If I'm gonna go this... I have to in one shot and end it all..._ she felt her body turn and her head held by a heavy palm, _This is to protect her._

A second later, just when their lips were about to meet, a vision flashed through Natsuki's mind. Here she was, having found the perfect guy to just lose it all with, like she wanted, and she still couldn't get Shizuru out of her mind. The navy-haired girl froze then, grinding her teeth and clenching her fists.

"No..." she growled to herself, although unfortunately things took a turn for the worst when Takeda thought it was directed at him.

"No?" he scoffed.

"What's your problem? If you really didn't want me you would have sent me away long ago!" by now he had his larger hands wrapped around hers, and given her intoxicated state, Natsuki was unable to coordinate her movements properly to escape.

"That's not it!" she was beginning to flail, "Let me go and I'll explain!"

"Look! You've teased me enough!" his form was completely dominating her.

"This is your last chance, what do you want?"

Natsuki's eyes locked with Takeda's, frigid until softening into tears.

"I..." she quivered, "I can't... All I wanted was to get over this! And I couldn't even do that! Why?" the ice that melted was now beginning to burn, but they were met with equally fierce eyes.

"I'll make you forget this jerk then!" the boy snarled, pushing Natsuki into the back of the booth seat before pressing one leg between hers so that she couldn't move, pinning her arms at her sides.

_It's scary..._ the sense of danger was set in stone, _But I have to... I have to get over Shizuru no matter what._

But it was too late for the summer princess to save herself...

... Which is precisely when her knight arrived.

"Get off of my fiancée," Shizuru ordered impatiently, appearing from out of the crowd and standing at the end of their table.

"Fiancée?" Takeda asked as he turned his head around.

"Shizuru...?" Natsuki whimpered, her weak muscles tensing once again.

The three remained in a locked stare, observed from the sidelines by their friends. It took no more than a second glance from those blood red eyes for Takeda to abide by her command and move to the side, leaving Natsuki to clench her whole body into a ball. However, just because he listened this one time didn't stop him from running his mouth.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"It's none of your business," Shizuru snapped, uncharacteristically terse, "Natsuki, come, we're going home."

Still, the navy haired girl didn't move.

"Tch, she doesn't want to go with you. She wants me, why do you think she came here tonight?" the boy couldn't seem to help himself from digging his grave deeper.

"Don't get involved in our personal life," the girl reached out to take Natsuki, but her arm was grabbed by Takeda.

"Hey, you don't wanna mess with me; I'm a master in Kendo," he smirked.

"Maybe you should be the one to back off."

Shizuru's lips curled into a wicked smile form the second he touched her.

"Kendo? But you have no sword?" and before he could reply Shizuru twisted her arm around appropriately in order to lock his behind him while at the same time peeling him off the furniture and tossing him away from between herself and Natsuki.

After he rolled a few feet away, Takeda's sense finally kicked in. This was more complicated than he signed on for. Whatever issues these two had, he certainly didn't want to get in the middle of it if there was a chance he could get hurt. Besides, he knew that he was forcing it to begin with; all in all he was at his limit, and so he scurried away without the acknowledgement of any of the surrounding females.

"...Shizuru..."

Natsuki mumbled again, her breaths increasing in both pace and depth, her thoughts were reaching a peak and becoming physical reactions.

"I think we can leave them now," the small brunette said quietly to Nao from their position away from the commotion.

"Mm, whatever happens now is between the two of them," she replied while walking away, their role had been played to the fullest tonight.

Still silent in the booth, Natsuki's stiffness was weakening and her limbs were now falling carelessly to her side with one arm on the table holding up her head by covering her eyes. The chestnut haired girl continued to stare at her, still radiating her power presented earlier. After all, she went there prepared for an end-all fight and Natsuki's apparent willingness to be with Takeda gave her the impression that she was not wanted.

"Natsuki... Even if you hate me, I will not sit idly by and let you put yourself in harm's way," she stated firmly, but was surprised by what suddenly followed.

The navy-haired girl's voice had crackled into a full out sob, and her body was so frail compared to its usual aura of elite strength; her emotions having crushed her to the point of utter helplessness. Sitting there thinking of how she had wronged Shizuru, the girl found some relief, at long last, in being overwhelmed by the one emotion she held closest to her.

"No, it's me, I- I'm so sorry Shizuru!" her fist clenched and shook on the table while her other hand gripped over her eyes tighter.

"I didn't want to hurt you, honest, I'm just so clueless to peoples' feelings... This whole time I thought I didn't want this but..."

"But what...?" Shizuru gazed ahead, yearning for an answer.

Time ceased to exist for that brief moment, when Natsuki ran into the stunned Shizuru's arms, clinging to the older girl so distraught, but so pure. Shizuru could feel the trembling fingers dig into her back, pulling her closer to Natsuki's body until she allowed her own arms to return the act. Pressing their two heartbeats together, the taller of the two rested her chin atop the other's head, shielding her from the world as long as she needed to wail away her chaotic feelings.

"I'm so afraid!" hesitantly she looked up, "I've never been too weak to stop myself, and it's frightening... But I can't help it; I don't want to stop anymore. I can finally admit it... all night, the only person I wanted to be with was you!"

And with that, the girl moved her midnight locks aside and tilted her head up to press their lips together.

Both of them began to cry subtle tears of joy while wrapping around each other further slowly. However, the moment only lasted so long before Shizuru's practical side dared to show itself for a second. Natsuki was heavily intoxicated and she would make good on her promise to keep her safe, which for now meant getting her to a place where she could rest.

Shizuru looked down into the bloodshot jade eyes with a peaceful smile and cupped the girl's cheek.

"Natsuki... let's go home."

-0-

A cold chill ran through the house as a gust of winter night air blew past the two girls once they got the door open. It had been slightly challenging for Shizuru, both giving into Natsuki's incessant pawing at her while at the same time keeping her from tripping over her own feet. The latter's drunkenness was allowing her to be more aggressive than she would be normally, but the whole ride back the navy-haired girl claimed that that was what made it better; that she was growing to enjoy giving in. That said, from Shizuru's point of view, she may not have been directly drugged, she was under the influence of Natsuki.

Just when she had gotten the front door unlocked, the younger girl turned her around, grabbing the collar of her coat tightly and pulling their lips together again. Passionately locked in yet another kiss, Shizuru was stumbling backwards, one hand roaming over Natsuki's body while the other felt around the room to make sure they wouldn't trip on anything.

"Mm... unh... N-Natsu-" the older girl muttered between breaths and kisses, "Hold on a minute."

"But I don't want to waaaaiiittt!" came the inebriated whine of a reply as Natsuki childishly pushed forward, although she did manage to retain the sense to kick the door shut behind her, which was a plus.

High in her right, Shizuru fell into obedience once again, returning to kiss Natsuki while removing her coat and tossing it on the floor without care. The latter did the same, slipping out of her shoes while pushing forward, wanting to get all of Shizuru that she could, holding her waist firmly to guide her back into the living room; although most of her steps consisted of stumbling around which served as a reminder to the less intoxicated of the two.

"Okay Natsuki, wait," Shizuru stated in a more serious tone, "Sit down first."

"But~!" the younger girl pouted as her shoulders were gripped and she practically had to be planted down on the couch, about to speak again when a finger was placed over her lips.

"We can't continue this Natsuki," the words were a bit strained, after all, a part of her wanted to be irresponsible and give in as well.

" I wouldn't feel right. I'd be taking advantage of you."

"What? Why?" the puppy-eyed girl tilted her head to the side curiously.

"I want you, and you want me, so it only makes sense that we're together right!" she snuck another kiss in.

"Mn! Ah! I know but," Shizuru held her back again, "You're drunk, and one of us has to do the right thing here..."

She paused, a sadness coming over her.

"I don't want what happened before to happen again..."

"But it won't! I already said sorry for that!" Natsuki whined.

"Ask Nao! I told her I have a crush on you! I do!"

Shizuru's resistance wavered briefly then, though she was also shocked by the fact that unlike before this had all seemed more genuine. She was back and forth with letting Natsuki do this simply because she felt it would never happen again, but if what the girl was saying now was true, it wasn't going to be.

"Which is why we can't..." she urged the girl.

"Natsuki, the reason I can't do this isn't purely because you're drunk," she tried her best to get her seriousness across.

"I've been wanting this for so long, but every time I dreamed of it, you were sure and sober. I don't want to give in if it's not real..."

Shizuru's sceptic side tensed itself for rejection then, thinking that Natsuki would become frustrated and leave, but instead of any of the possible scenarios she was fantasizing, the latter grinned brightly and fell back.

"...Ara?" Shizuru raised an eyebrow and leaned over Natsuki, who had suddenly succumbed to her physical exhaustion, "Natsuki...?"

"You're always looking out for me," the tired girl said, eyes closed and arms curled up to her chest, but with her smile still wide.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna wanna kiss you first thing when I get up tomorrow... But right now I can't keep myself... a... wake..."

And within seconds Shizuru was watching Natsuki fall into a deep slumber, an almost childish giggle emanating from her. After all they'd gone through tonight; it was no surprise that she would be so tired.

"Good thing I didn't let this go further," Shizuru smirked, but then yawned as well.

"In fact, I'd say we're both too sleepy to even stay up any later."

That said, the girl slid off the edge of the sofa and slid her arms beneath Natsuki's body. Then, with a hefty inhale Shizuru lifted the girl up and brought her from the living room, up the stairs, and into her own bed in the guest room. Sighing when she put her back down and covered her with blankets, Shizuru took a moment to simply look at the sleeping figure before her.

"Mm... We'll talk more tomorrow," she knelt down to comb through Natsuki's hair, "But don't worry... I know you meant it. Because for the first time I could hear the burden lifted from your voice."


	14. Funny Little World

**XIV – Funny Little World**

The next morning presented itself with peaceful rays of sunlight, beaming through the open window at Natsuki's bedside. It was a brief break in the stormy forecast, where the clouds of snow surrounded their city but hadn't yet touched it. The curtains danced in the gentle wind being blown up from the vent nearby, and tickled the girl's cheek. The navy-haired girl recoiled – still only semi-conscious – from the brightness that was coming hit her eyes hard. Natsuki's fingers swirled through the sheets and pulled them closer to her body, but by now she was certain that she was awake.

With a groan, she rolled over to shield her aching head from the sun and took a deep breath. Natsuki could tell by the smell of her surroundings that she was in her own room, but a part of her felt confused as to how she got there. In fact, she immediately only recalled little of what happened the night before. Lifting a hand to rub her hair out of her face, the girl began to retrace her steps.

_Ugh... this is why I don't drink..._

She pulled herself up, now sitting in a pile of sheets and blankets that were all haphazardly wrapped around her.

_I went out with Nao... that's for sure and... we were at Kagayaki for the New Year's party._

Natsuki almost gagged on her next recollection.

_That dumbass! Okay why was I sitting with some guy? I wanted to... why was I there?_

She sighed.

_Right... I left Shizuru here by herself... Tch, what an ass I am... But wait, Nao didn't take me home and that guy wouldn't, so..._

The girl searched her memory, and for some reason nothing was coming for this part. Instead it was focusing on what she was doing with Takeda and how she felt then. She felt disgraceful for having left Shizuru alone, and yet... she didn't go back.

_Wait? Why does it matter? If anything this can help me move on... Yeah, that's why I was with him... I was trying to get over her before anything started but then...?_

She let out a gasp and covered her mouth, which she later regretted since the sudden influx of air startled her still waking brain. The last piece of the puzzle finally showed itself as one of the many visions in her mind.

_Oh my god... I told her..._

If it weren't for the hangover, Natsuki probably would have started banging her head on the wall right now, but she settled for grinding her teeth.

_Damn it! First she sees me drunk off my ass which is bad enough but ugh I remember now... I..._

Her train of thought was interrupted then, when the delicate sound of keys upon strings echoed up the stairway from the lower level of the house. She breathed. It calmed her. Just when her emotions were once again beginning to flail in confusion, the soft piece eased her tension. In fact, it brought a smile to her face, allowing her to remember that with her confession to Shizuru, she also confessed to herself that these feelings were okay — that they were not dangerous.

_The way that I care about her..._

She thought while slowly getting up, following the music and smiling.

_It makes me so happy..._

Her feet padded lightly down the steps in order to not disturb the other girl's playing of the instrument. She stopped then, just a few steps before the floor and closed her eyes in wait. Every time a key hit a string, it reverberated on her heart, bringing a smile to her lips and redness to her cheeks. Still tired from the night before, Natsuki rested her shoulder against the wall and then slowly slid down to sit on a step.

_She's so sweet… All the time… Her unending kindness-_

Her train of thought was cut short then by the melody in the next room coming to a stop. While she heard Shizuru flip through the book to find another song to play, Natsuki lifted herself up by the railing and shyly peeked around the corner. She was still dressed in her clothing from last night, and she only realized now how out of place she must look. With a sigh she tried to step back before being seen, wanting to change first, but it was too late.

"Ara? Natsuki, you're awake," a startled expression on the elder girl's face, "I'm sorry, was it my playing?"

"Oh no, I was getting up anyway and…" she was still blushing, "I had no idea how nice it would be to wake up to you playing."

The pair could feel the tension rise between them again. Seeing Shizuru for the first time after her blurry memories made Natsuki even more embarrassed about what she said and how she acted. The details eluded her, but she was certain that she was more physical than she ever would have been otherwise. At the same time Shizuru was unsure of if she should react playfully to the girl's promise, wondering if she even remembered it. That thought then spiralled into how much she remembered of the entire night.

"Gah! Fine! I'll just get it out!" the navy-haired girl shouted, partially to herself at the same time as raising her hands up in exasperation.

"I'm embarrassed!"

"Oh?"

"I didn't want to confess to you that way and I feel so dumb!" her frustration showed on her face but she once again became shy and looked away.

"I didn't want to tell you at all, actually…" her hand gripped around the wooden moulding on the corner of the wall.

"But…" the lock of fear chained around Shizuru's heart was beginning to unlock itself, "You… you do have feelings for me?"

Natsuki, unable to get any redder, proceeded to give the girl a lopsided smile and rub the back of her neck. Even this was embarrassing to her; she didn't think she should look so frivolous about this, and really, she meant to be serious but it kept coming out wrong. In turn this caused her to start laughing hysterically in her head.

_This can't get any worse so just start talking!_

"Yeah… For a while now I didn't know what it was… but, heh, yep… This is what a crush feels like." she suddenly regained focus on Shizuru.

"Are you okay…?"

The crimson-eyed girl was staring ahead in disbelief. For all the times the two had been on the cusp of forming a relationship, there was no doubting this time. In a way it felt unnatural for her to not have a reason to question Natsuki's sincerity; but above all she was happy, extending her hand out to Natsuki and sliding over on the piano bench for her to sit beside her.

The younger girl took this as a positive answer to her inquiry, but she was hesitant now that it was her turn again. She wanted to accept Shizuru's offer, and slowly did, though she tensed when their hands touched. However, what she clenched around was her fiancée's hand, which subtly squeezed back in reassurance. Natsuki had looked down briefly to glide past the keys when sitting but when she looked back into scarlet orbs her nervousness, well, it didn't disappear, but it was easier to handle now.

"As long as you mean this, I will be fine," Shizuru said softly, pulling Natsuki just a little closer to her, though she was surprised when the navy-haired girl startled at the comment.

"Of course I mean it!" she exclaimed in a rather desperate tone and gripping Shizuru's hands with both of her own now.

"I might make a lot of mistakes, more than you deserve, but please give me the chance! Whatever it is that I feel for you drives me this crazy! I'll do anything to see what happens with it because it makes me feel so good!"

"Shh," the elder one cooed, escaping from the tight hold and placing her own hand onto Natsuki's shoulder and the other held her cheek.

That magic happened again. What it was about Shizuru's touch that made Natsuki feel strangely safe. Yet it was also this that frightened her, she was caught in a strange web of feelings. All she knew was that at the end of it all she was so much happier being with Shizuru than… not being with her.

_It's simple really…_

She thought with a smile.

"Would like something to eat?" Shizuru asked, trying to bring some sense of normal to them both.

"No thanks," Natsuki replied, shaking her head lightly, "I still don't really have an appetite from last night."

A dizziness suddenly hit her and she leaned her head into her palm.

"Ugh… really… I'm so stupid…"

"No you're not," the elder kindly reassured.

"Perhaps not your finest hour," she giggled at the pouty-faced response she got, "But still… now…"

Shizuru leaned closer, not pushy but instead accepting of Natsuki's inevitable uncertainty. The girl had taken a huge step so quickly, so it wasn't any surprise that the navy-haired girl faltered the moment Shizuru attempted to kiss her. Pink from the touch that never left her; she quickly snapped back into the moment and pecked the lips that came towards her but her uneasy expression wasn't left unnoticed, or alone. However, before Shizuru could speak Natsuki had jumped to defend herself.

"I'm sorry," she said swiftly, "I'm just not used to this. I'm not sure what to do…"

"Hm?" Shizuru moved away to give the girl some space.

"I do want to be close to you… _with you_," she muttered with some awkwardness, "But it feels like there's some sort of gap that I don't know how to cross."

"Well, we are moving from friends to more…" she paused, "Right?"

"Mm, we are…" she started to giggle.

"Natsuki?"

"Sorry, it just amuses me to think of 'what we are'," she looked up to the ceiling in thought.

"My fiancée is my friend who I like? My fiancée is my girlfriend? Either way they both seem to make sense, and yet…"

"Then let's not be engaged," Shizuru said bluntly, but the certainty in her voice was just what Natsuki needed.

"I mean, it will just be paperwork, but in practicality we won't be betrothed. We can separate the two. That's what we were doing when we were friends right?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"The engagement is separate from _us_, we can move at our own pace. Right now we can be…" she was unsure, "Whatever you want."

With a smile over her lips, Natsuki turned to face Shizuru completely then tilted her head to the side inquisitively.

"Then, officially," her smile grew into a grin, "Shizuru, will you be my girlfriend?"

Scarlet orbs blinked at the confidence in her tone, and the odd role reversal that seemed to have transpired. All this time she had been the one chasing Natsuki, and then the girl turns around and asks _her_ out? It was…

_Cute…_

She smiled back.

"Gladly."

Silence uncomfortably covered them then, not unhappy, but now that they were established romantic partners there was one question left on the rather clueless girl's mind.

"Err… What exactly do girlfriends do?" Natsuki asked while rubbing the back of her neck and ginning sheepishly with nervous laughter.

"I've never been one before…"

And now they were back with Shizuru being the leader of the pair. Then again, she had never been a girlfriend before either, so despite her carefree demeanor, she was pretty much just making it up as she went along. She made a similar expression, but after a few seconds she patted the top of her navy hair and stood up.

"Hey where're you going?" Natsuki pouted.

"Girlfriends do a lot of things, it depends on the couple… but one thing that all couples do is go on dates!" she had on her normal teasing expression, but Natsuki could tell she was completely serious.

"D-date?!" the girl stuttered, looking wide-eyed as Shizuru was about to turn round the corner to go upstairs.

"But! I don't know what to do on a date!"

Smirking playfully, Shizuru made a one-eighty degree turn, walking up to the confused Natsuki and taking her chin in her hand. She used her powerful eyes to keep the girl in place, admiring her features and the soft pink that came back over them again.

"Which is exactly why we're going to go on one my dear Natsuki," she planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Trust your instincts and I'm sure you'll do fine," she spun on her heel again, this time for sure heading upstairs to her room.

"You're a brilliant tactician when you want to be, Natsuki. Just apply it elsewhere."

The fluffy chestnut locks floated out of view. Jade eyes closed, her exhaustion exaggerated, as Natsuki groaned… before a smile came to her, chuckling at Shizuru's natural weirdness that was finally back to normal.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

And with that, she hopped to her feet and went to her own room. Instincts, her girlfriend had said, that must have been the couple way to say "Whatever you do will be perfect with me." At least, that's what Natsuki would have meant if she were the one to have said it.

-0-

Side by side, the pair walked through the light layer of snow on the sidewalk, a soft squishing sound beneath their feet. They didn't have a particular destination in mind, but it was nice to just walk. Natsuki had no idea what she should do on a date, and fell into looking at Shizuru for guidance; forgetting that it was also her first date as well, she just carried herself with more confidence.

"It's New Year's Day… no wonder there's hardly anything open…" sighed the navy-haired girl as she stopped to take a rest.

"Do you want to go home?" Shizuru asked tentatively, hoping the answer would be no, since she of course would walk around the city in circles for a whole day if it meant Natsuki was with her.

"No. No, I didn't mean it like that," came the reply, apparently having heard the undertone, "I just don't want you to get bored… I suddenly feel the pressure to entertain you…"

She groaned while shifting her eyes to the side. Shizuru chuckled; she'd never seen Natsuki so… normal. Even she was putting up a bit of a front to seem more together instead of jumping around giggling like a schoolgirl. Natsuki on the other hand wasn't the unbeatable fighter today, she was just a regular girl trying to impress the person she liked on their first date.

"Come on, let's keep going, maybe something will be open up ahead," the navy-haired girl said, stepping forward again, this time reaching her hand out to brush down Shizuru's sleeve towards her hand.

The older girl held back her glimmering amusement towards Natsuki's shyness, until she suddenly felt nothing. Blinking unexpectedly, there was supposed to be a hand in hers right now, her ears picked up the sound of a group of people coming around the corner. Shizuru looked over for a second, and then to Natsuki to see that the girl had slipped her hand back into her pocket while holding a frown on her face.

"I'm sorry," the girl muttered, emerald eyes looking ahead sadly.

What she had just done could have been taken in the wrong way, and she really hoped that it wouldn't, but hoped even more that this random group of bystanders would just hurry up along their way and pass them. Shizuru was no fool though, and waited until there was enough of a gap before speaking.

"It's okay. You don't like public displays of affection, that's fine."

Natsuki smiled a little, but still guiltily.

"That's…" she looked down in shame, "That's not just it."'

Those eyes could only mean one thing. Shizuru knew that this issue would come up sooner or later, and quite frankly she was glad it was sooner instead of waiting forever to get it over with. Keeping up her spirits as best she could, she continued to look straight ahead as they walked until a grin crossed her features.

"Come with me," she suggested, realizing where they were, before crossing the street with a confused Natsuki trailing behind.

It seemed like there was nothing but apartment buildings here as the street began to angle up a hill. That was the first glance, but Shizuru quickly found the unkempt set of stairs that led them down between two buildings to a thin pathway alongside of an empty park. Emerald eyes gazed at the little secret world she was guided into. No one would see them here.

They took a few more steps beside the fence before Shizuru uttered an uncharacteristic groan of annoyance. Natsuki wasn't sure why she had, but found herself watching the older girl plant her boot between the wiring and then her other foot on top of the rail to hop over the enclosure.

"The gate is all the way on the other side, it's just plain faster this way," she said while dusting the snow off her after the light oomph of landing in it.

Though she was still confused about where they were, why they were there, why Shizuru was acting strange… and so on, Natsuki nodded and proceeded to do the same thing. She landed right beside where Shizuru had been, but the latter was already making her way towards the swings. Because the park was hardly ever used, the city never bothered to take them down during the winter like other more popular locations.

Like the girl before her, the younger one patted her jacket and pants to get the snow off and then sat on the next nearest swing. Although once they were both still, silence seemed to take over again. Their conversation had been put on hold, and it was left up to the one who paused it to now resume it.

"It's because I'm female, no?" Shizuru asked, watching the snowflakes fall.

"That's-! It-! Argh!" Natsuki shivered before grinding her teeth and planted her palm forcefully on her forehead.

"I never cared about what people – let alone strangers – would think of me… but now I do. I feel like we're in the spotlight, and not in a good way."

Shizuru sighed. She had years more experience of being comfortable with herself than Natsuki's recent few days; if that. She'd forgotten that, in that respect, she was so far ahead in fact that she was liable to leaving the girl behind… And that would be a real problem.

"People only approve because they think it's a business deal, our engagement that is," Natsuki continued, "If they knew we had real feelings for each other then it wouldn't be so easy."

Shizuru stared ahead still, she had a point. The amount of coverage they got by those in their circle made it seem as though everyone was perfectly fine with her feelings.

_When really they just think I'm playing my part remarkably…_

Again the elder girl let out a sigh as the weight pulled harder. One thing she knew was that this wasn't a problem that could be solved overnight, or more specifically, during the course of their first date. They were alone now, so Natsuki had nothing to fear, and Shizuru wasn't going to let this day be brought down any further. With a glint in her eyes, the latter hopped up from the swing and trotted a few steps ahead.

"Well, we'll just have to show that we're normal," she smiled.

"But how? How are we normal?" the navy-haired girl followed with her eyes, but was only confused by the easygoing demeanour that she saw.

"We are, don't worry."

Natsuki sighed.

"Okay, but how will we show it?"

The damp expression on her face was then suddenly shocked away... by a ball of snow hitting her right between the eyes. Not only was this so out of the blue that she couldn't react to it, but it knocked her off the swing flat on her back. The girl lay there, blinking through the flecks of white up at the sky, watching them fall down on her for no more than a few seconds before leaping back onto her feet.

"Like this," Shizuru said with a mischievous grin while tossing another snowball up and down in her hand.

"What!?" the younger one exclaimed, "How is that showing anything!"

"Ara... That... is something Natsuki will have to figure out for herself," she continued to smile innocently, eyes filled with love.

"Oh..." Natsuki grimaced playfully gathering up some snow, "I'll figure it out alri-"

Thunk. She was hit again.

"I'm gonna get you for that!" she growled, wiping the snow off her face again to reveal her puppy-like expression as she bounded after Shizuru.

The auburn-haired girl let out a rather girly and giggly yelp as a snowball hit her in the back as she ran away, but all the while continued laughing. Natsuki did too as they both balled up some more snow and Shizuru took a dive behind the large play-house structure. A few impact sounds were heard as Natsuki's projectiles hit the wooden beams or plastic walls, but that didn't matter, she would just make more.

After waiting for the attack to momentarily stop, the elder girl took her chance to attack and threw more snow at the one preparing. They were deflected though, as Natsuki, with a wide grin on her face, hopped around as needed to kick and swat them away.

"Kyaaaa! Natsuki's skills are so impressive!" Shizuru swooned, playing right into the navy-haired girl's instinctive desire to show off.

The latter blushed of course, heating her quite nicely despite the outside temperature. By now they had both made a few more snowballs and charged into the open area of the park laughing. The pair didn't stop running when they closed in on each other, running out of ammunition and covered in snow; instead Natsuki kicked off the ground with a bit more force in order to playfully tackle Shizuru to the ground.

"Got'cha!" she said with a wink, their legs entangled and tired bodies breathing heavily against each other.

Their exasperation came mostly from excitement. However, since they really were just having fun, it wasn't like Natsuki's hold was all too strong, making it easy for Shizuru to wrestle her way out and roll herself onto the navy-haired girl. Pinning her to the ground with their fingers laced together.

"What was that Natsuki?" she said with a smirk as the latter's cocky expression dissipated into a pout... if only for a second.

"I said..." Natsuki's muscles flexed.

Bringing all her strength to her core in order to sit straight up, she forced Shizuru up with her. The girl was now straddling Natsuki's thighs with a look of shock – and a mix of pride – as to how strong she really was. Now, with locked eyes, Natsuki pulled Shizuru closer by way of guiding her hands to her hips. Ruby eyes fluttered closed, unable to move her hands away, especially when she felt Natsuki's cold hands rest on the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine when she was pulled into a kiss.

"Got'cha!" the girl said again, her emeralds glinting with child-like happiness as they moved apart to breathe, their noses barely touching.

Clouds of hot breath blurred their vision as mischievousness became replaced by sensuality. Natsuki continued to taunt Shizuru's reactions, grinning at the amusement of payback for all the times she had been teased, she could see how it could be addicting. The snow that melted off her fingers and slid down the back of the older girl's neck made her freeze up, but the touch made her warm in a way that made her exhales warble.

The position they were in didn't go unnoticed by either girl but somehow now, it just seemed right. It was normal. And they couldn't think how they had ever gone without this closeness before in their lifetime.

Sliding her hands up Natsuki's sides, Shizuru started to push her back down, smiling into another kiss as they fell back into the snow. Although as soon as they landed softly, the latter pulled her lips away to start giving butterfly kisses along Natsuki's jaw line and then down to her neck. The emerald gaze faded in and out of focus of the white sky and the snowfall framing the crimson stare that poured into her when Shizuru was now hovering above.

_Has she... always looked at me like that?_

Natsuki stared right back into it.

_No... she couldn't have but... why is it so familiar?_

Her breath hitched for a second, eliciting a quiet gasp as she blinked in realization.

_When we fought... That was the only time she could- that she could look at me like this and I wouldn't notice._

Her hands stopped playing, instead seriously and sentimentally holding the back of Shizuru's head and shoulders, bringing her in for another kiss, though much more passionate and deeper. Or rather, open and willing, allowing for the top girl to give into the passion of that heated look. Maybe it was true that Natsuki was only just beginning to understand her feelings, but she understood now... the need.

_It... I never knew how it would feel to be needed like this... I... love it._

At the same time, Shizuru was becoming dazed in her thoughts, literally falling from lack of oxygen to her brain. The way she continued kissing hardly left her any chance to take a breath. She wouldn't let herself. At long last she was losing control of herself, and it felt more wonderful than anything; Natsuki was not only accepting of the actions, but reciprocating it as well to the best of her ability.

Shizuru pulled back, once her involuntary system took over and forced her to inhale as much of Natsuki's scent as she could. And somehow, it calmed her, suddenly making her realize how tired her arms had gotten from holding herself up. With a subtle "umph" the girl relaxed and fell onto Natsuki's chest, admiring how fast she had gotten the girl's heart to beat.

_So... she is being honest... her heart tells me so..._

She muttered a chuckle.

"I'm sorry, I may have overwhelmed you," she then said with a small smile, noticing Natsuki's silence while moving one hand up to toy with navy locks.

"No I..." she was at a loss for words, and literally had her breath taken away.

She swallowed hard.

"I think you taste sweet," she blurted out, immediately becoming embarrassed and blushing so hard she felt the need to turn her head away so at least half of her face was cooling off in the snow.

"I! Uhh mean! You didn't overwhelm me I just!"

"So cute," was the simple reply when Shizuru rolled off the girl beneath her so that she was now lying at her side in the snow, insisting on looking at that face.

"So. Very. Cute."

Natsuki stopped stammering, instead falling into the comfort of that look. How long had it been since it made her feel safe? Happy? Loved? She remembered the first few days... month even of being so angry with their arrangement.

_How had I not felt safe before?_

She asked herself before scoffing mentally.

_Maybe because you never really looking into them then you idiot!_

Her expression then became solemn.

_I... I ignored you for so long... How are you able to forgive me?_

"What is it Natsuki?"

"Ah, nothing," she returned to smiling, this moment was too good; she didn't want to ruin it.

She glanced back at the sky and then down the small space between them.

"The snow... it's so soft..."

"Mm, winter is quite romantic don't you think?" Shizuru's smile tugged at her lips.

"I didn't used to..." Natsuki replied honestly, "But now... it's so nice. It isn't cold, or empty, or everything I thought it was... It's peaceful."

Their hands laced together again, and Shizuru pulled them up to kiss the back of Natsuki's before sitting up.

"We shouldn't lie in the snow for too long, we'll freeze."

"But then what do you want to do for the rest of the day?" Natsuki reluctantly sat as well.

"I suppose we could go back home," Shizuru answered, looking up in her thinking pose, "As long as I'm with you, I don't really mind."

"Hehe, you say that so easily..." the younger girl replied under her breath, envious really, and was then distracted by being pulled to her feet; after which she nodded in agreement to the idea of going home.

The pair dusted themselves off and looked around the park once more. It was so nicely secluded, nestled amongst trees on one side, and some high rise apartment buildings on the other, but the windows were too high up for anyone to have seen them. Mentally bidding this little sanctuary goodbye, Natsuki held onto Shizuru's hand and walked towards the gate at the other side.

"Shouldn't we go back the way we came?" the navy-haired girl asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Only if you want to walk around town for hours again. We're only about a fifteen minute walk away from home if we go this way," Shizuru chuckled.

"Oh..." Natsuki replied, sort of dumbfounded for it being such an easy answer, that is, before another thought struck her.

"Hey, you never said how you knew of this place."

They were approaching the main street when Shizuru sadly let go of the other girl's hand, showing her acceptance of her needing to take the public display slow.

"I come here a lot when I do my run, that's all. It's always quiet like this, so I spend a lot of time thinking here."

She then started to walk forward again, into the business people walking from place to place on New Year's Day. Natsuki stayed behind for a few seconds. She was worried. All this time, when Shizuru went for a run in the morning, and Natsuki was so against going with her, did she come here and think about her? Them?

She stood there, fists clenched tight at her sides, aware of the possible trap she was falling into. She wanted to, no, _had to_ make up for her stupidity. She couldn't not and still feel good about herself. But if she did too much too quickly Shizuru would think it was just gratitude and not real...

_Real what?_

She thought, relaxing her hands again.

_My feelings are so... Ugh! I just want to know what this means! I'm happy with her, and... kissing her is nice... real nice... she makes me feel like I belong with her. That's all I need to know for now._

"Natsuki?"

The girl in question snapped out of her thoughts and looked ahead.

"Sorry, it's nothing, come on, let's go," she strode up beside her girlfriend, who was merely looking ahead to make sure the road was clear before walking, when she felt an arm loop with hers.

Shizuru blinked at the unexpected, but surely welcome, contact between her and Natsuki. It seemed as though it wasn't going to be impossible to keep her hold on the girl, even when in public. A mock smug expression hinted behind the elder girl's mask.

_Though it isn't like I have no control whatsoever, I lasted until now, so if she needs to get used to it I can do that. As long as we're together..._

They had just begun to walk again before Natsuki pulled them both in another direction for a few steps, something had caught her eye. On the front lawn of a nearby house was a winter-blooming cherry blossom tree. It was beautiful, yes, but why were they going towards it? Shizuru cocked her head to the side slightly, a bit confused about Natsuki unhooking her arm for a second to go right up to it.

_Uhh, Natsuki I don't think we're allowed to-_

Without saying a word, the navy-haired girl stood up on the tips of her toes and reached out to take one of the small flowers. Effectively silencing Shizuru's train of thought when she dropped back down to her normal height, inspected it carefully, and then handed it to the stunned girl.

"Ara?"

Ruby eyes stared down at the tiny plant, blinking hesitantly at it and then at the blushing girl in front of her; quite frankly brain dead from overworking herself not to burst out into a fit of girlish giggles and jump around excitedly.

_She's so cute! So so cute!_

A big smile formed on Shizuru's face.

"T-thank you."

What was this? She had become bashful around Natsuki? The girl had already hopped away to the street where they had been standing before while Shizuru was still looking back and forth between her and the flower.

_... I still don't think we're allowed to take these though._

She let out a soft chuckle and followed, once again linking arms with Natsuki and walking back to their home.


	15. With Me

**XV – With Me**

Continuing along to the second half of their first date, the couple made their way along the stretch of city road. It was only mid-afternoon, but, being winter, the sun was already starting to set behind the line of buildings to the side. It provided a gentle and not too bright glow on the girls' hair which was still glistening with melted snow. The clouds had parted just as the day was going to end, which was actually quite nice. The snowfall that day had made for enough to last days, not to mention the unforgettable memories between the pair.

As they approached the curve in terrain, leading their way downhill once more before they would have to climb again, the area had become emptier. It was only a few more steps until they reached their secluded private property and Natsuki smiled. With no one around, she slid her arm down the one it was linked with and clutched her fingers around Shizuru's hand. The elder girl returned the expression at this, inwardly giggling at the fact that she had been actually waiting for this particular spot to come so that her girlfriend would be more comfortable. All that was around them now were trees, and the occasional set of wooden steps to aid their second climb, now closing in on the house itself.

They had just reached the final peak when Natsuki came to a halt, earning a curious look from the other girl.

"Do you need a moment to rest Natsuki?" she asked casually, but seemed to be a bit more confused when the girl's emerald eyes seemed to look out into the forest, searching for something, even as her head shook no to the question.

"I'm just looking for something. I know it's around here, just- Ah! There it is!" her expression lit up as she tugged on the hand while starting to walk in an adjacent direction.

"It's this really nice pond I found a while ago. I wanted to show it to you."

"Oh? Is it that one?" Shizuru asked, pointing ahead to the rocks surrounding the small body of water.

"...Yeah," Natsuki replied, somewhat disappointed, "You already knew about it?"

"Well I _was_ the one to choose this house," she replied with a lopsided smile at the girl's pout, "But I'd still love to go with you."

The navy-haired girl's spirits immediately picked up. That was all she wanted really, to sit there with Shizuru. It would have been a nice bonus if it was a surprise but she supposed some things just couldn't be helped. Natsuki took the lead along the narrow pathway leading up to the pond through the trees, amused that she had been humoured by her girlfriend, to at least make it seem like she was the one showing off her rare jewel.

The younger girl took a confident step onto one of the boulders and grinned while dusting off the snow and then stepping aside onto the next one.

"Here you go," she said with a strange happy face; kind of like she was bashful about being proud for having suddenly gotten this spark of romance.

It was quickly hidden though when she turned around to start brushing snow off of her own rock and then sitting down next to Shizuru.

"Since when have you been coming up here?" Natsuki asked, not wanting her curiosity to last too long.

Ruby eyes softened as she looked calmly over the frozen water, staring at their reflections. How long indeed?

"Months," she replied, "This... is another place that I come to think often. You can see why."

She gestured to the open space and Natsuki merely nodded, wondering what she should say. Granted, a part of her was expecting this to be the reason Shizuru knew about this little area, but she still hadn't figured out the words. They had been walking for a good twenty minutes now she since found out about the park, and yet she had nothing.

"I come here to think too," she said anyway, not comfortable with the type of silence that had arisen, "But only recently. I'd like it better when the water is flowing though."

"It will again soon," Shizuru said with a gentle smile, lost in her own thoughts at the moment while continuing to look into the jade eyes reflecting at her.

"This pond, it needs to be frozen for now," she was speaking out loud, low enough that it was clear it was to herself, but Natsuki could understand it anyway.

The girl watched as Shizuru bent down and gently slid her fingers across the surface, melting the ice with her touch.

"A person can only do so much to thaw it," she continued before turning to the glow on the horizon, a smile of acceptance on her face, "The only thing that can turn the ice soft again is the sun... in time..."

Natsuki simply blinked at the side of Shizuru's head that was turned to her, now even more unsure of what to say. Why had she started talking so emphatically about the Spring thaw? The girl really didn't know, and this time opted for the silence rather than another question given that it was quite relaxing this time around. They would only stay there so long, until the sun completely set on the mid-winter's day.

However, over the course of that restful hour, Natsuki had begun to inch herself closer to the warmth of Shizuru, enough to wrap her arms around the older girl's waist and lean her head on her shoulder. She may not have been falling asleep, but something about being close was suddenly so addicting. Just like she had before, Natsuki wondered again how she could have gone so long without this wonderful feeling.

_Maybe... I just wasn't ready..._

She smirked at her thoughts reminiscing over her initial immaturity.

_Yeah... definitely was not ready then._

Shizuru, on the other hand, was simply trying to keep from squealing and tightly embracing the girl in all her adorableness.

-0-

"Do you hear that?" Natsuki asked over the sound of their feet crunching some fallen twigs into the snow.

It sounded like there was music coming from somewhere, more specifically, in the direction they were walking.

"I do," Shizuru replied, just as confused as they stepped to the short but steep edge of the forest that led into their parking space.

"Oh damn it!" the younger girl cursed as the music became clearer in her ears, it was the same taste in rock that she shared with a certain best friend.

Without another word she jumped down and bolted toward the front door, having no qualms about kicking it open either. Of course, the first place she ran into was the living room, where the sound had become obnoxiously loud and where she found her flame-haired friend singing away – quite poorly at that.

"Nao! What the hell are you doing in my house?!" Natsuki screamed over the music before violently unplugging the stereo.

"Hey! The solo was just about to start!" she yelled right back, looking up from the nails she was filing at the same time.

"Geez, I was bored and felt like visiting to make sure you were okay after last night. I didn't know my presence bothered you that much, Kuga!"

Although, even though these two were engaged in their usual loud arguing, the visitor's attention was immediately drawn to the sight of the eldest girl coming in shortly behind when she arrived.

"Mou Natsuki..." Shizuru pouted, looking the door up and down, "It's a miracle this didn't completely break off... you kick quite hard."

"Sorry..." the girl in question crossed her arms and glared to the side, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Shizuru just sighed exasperatedly and began removing her winter outerwear; then, without thinking it seemed, she got Natsuki's attention by tugging on her coat as well to hang it up for her. Nao watched with intrigued as the emerald eyes that were just staring with such frustration softened almost instantly, and at how her friend was letting someone else get so close, let alone doing something helpful for her... and then thanking her for taking her coat!

"Holy. Fricken. Frak," the redhead stated with a hint of true surprise, but mostly covered it with mischief.

"You two are-?"

Natsuki's eye began twitching when she saw the glint in Nao's.

"Yes, we sorted things out. Now will you leave?"

"Sorted? Or _moaned_?" the girl's eyebrows waggled suggestively before she was thumped over the head.

Shizuru just standing in the back laughing to herself at their antics again.

"_Sorted_you pervert! And it's none of your business!" Natsuki was now dragging her friend – who seemed rather unfazed – to the door by her collar.

"Hey, I'm the one who got her to Kagayaki last night," Nao said with a shrug.

"If it weren't for me who knows what would've happened..."

She winked.

"Speaking of which, what _did_ happen?"

"Out!" they were now at the door, where Natsuki pushed Nao outside without hesitation.

"Fine fine, I'll go, I don't want to be interrupting anything."

She giggled at the red face of her friend and then turned to head down the walkway, waving her hand nonchalantly behind her.

"Besides, I can figured out what happened. I'll _probably_ get it right when I let Mai in on the good news," the emphasis on "probably" to tease the girl.

"Nao! I swear I'm gonna-!" Natsuki's outburst was cut short by two arms wrapping her up from behind.

"Let her go," soft Kyoto-ben whispered into her ears, "We still have the rest of our date."

"Ah! But!" the girl still struggled for a bit, but soon relaxed into the hold.

"She's gonna go making up crap about us now! Ridiculous stuff!"

"You're so easy to tease Natsuki," Shizuru said with a bit of light laughter, "It's a shame I could hardly do it before."

"What are you talking about? You teased me all the time!"

"... I could have been worse," she grinned innocently, causing the girl in her arms to blink in panic.

"Come," Shizuru stepped back from the embrace but slid her hands down the sides of Natsuki's arms to turn her around and lock eyes.

Like floating on air, the two stepped smoothly into the living room, not in any hurry though. It had only just become evening; there was no need to rush anything. Shizuru led the way over to the sofa with Natsuki wilfully following and casually sat down with one leg folded beneath her. She watched the girl's every movement with a smile on her face, even at something as simple as being beside her. That being said, she was instantly aware of the minor distress in her love's expression.

"I'm sorry about Nao," Natsuki stated, breaking the gaze to look down at the floor, "I hope she didn't bother you."

"She doesn't bother me," Shizuru replied while raising one arm to bend and lean against the back of the sofa in order to rest her head on her lightly closed fist.

She absent-mindedly teased Natsuki's fingers with her other hand, slipping from in between them to around her hand and then returned her focus to the emerald orbs.

"But, I am glad that you would rather be with me," she chuckled when the girl's face reddened.

"W-well it's not like I suddenly don't want to spend time with my friends, I mean! I'm not needy! I just-!" she was silenced by a set of lips lightly pecking her own.

Natsuki emitted a barely audible whimper and let her eyelids fall closed when the kiss transformed into a longer more sensual one. It was unlike any kiss from before as well; not today or last night, and certainly not like the first time they had. Shizuru's seriousness and devotion were more apparent in this one than raw hunger, and it had actually consumed her more for what it really was. The realization of their feelings was behind them, as well as the confession of them; all that was left was to enjoy the moment.

Natsuki felt a hand slide around her back and hold her still while gently pushing backwards so the girl was now on her back with Shizuru above her. They then broke the kiss for a second to breathe, but just as the latter was about to move back down and continue she was stopped by a palm cupping her cheek. She blinked in curiosity at the new look in the jade eyes that were no longer focused on her ruby ones but on her other features.

"Ara, what is it that Natsuki finds so interesting?" she asked in a whisper when she felt the fingertips move from her face to her hair, pulling and looking at the long strands before going back to the front of her face and combing through chestnut bangs.

"You're beautiful," came the simple reply in a sweet tone with a smile on the girl's face.

Both of her hands moved to caress Shizuru's neck, kneading the flexed muscles there before moving onto her shoulders and arms.

"And strong..."

A pink tinge came to Shizuru's cheeks, not feeling the need to hide her appreciation of the compliments; however just as she was about to say something impish in return Natsuki spoke again, folding her arms around the back of the girl's neck and pulling her down on top of her completely.

"Not that I'm saying I need it," she said with a pout that eventually softened into a never before seen weakness.

"But... Would you ever... protect me?"

"Yes," she said firmly, lifting her torso up so that she could look deep into Natsuki's eyes, "I will always protect you. From anything."

Crimson orbs radiated her fidelity, something that transcended the label of their relationship. It wasn't the time or the issue even to tease her. Natsuki had always played the role of the loyal friend, loyal daughter, and loyal student to her arts; and despite how good she was at it, and that she truly didn't think of it as a burden, it still left her vulnerable.

"Thank you..." she said softly, pulling Shizuru back down in her embrace.

"I... I know I can trust you..."

-0-

Meanwhile, as the new couple was occupied on their date, Nao was walking down the street preparing to make a little date of her own. With a grin on her face she flipped open her cell phone and dialled the number of the other redhead of the trio.

"_Hello?"_

"Mai, can we meet up? I have some news for you," she couldn't hold back her giddiness... though if one didn't know her it would look like an evil smirk.

"_Uhh, sure? Why can't you tell me over the phone?"_

"Well that wouldn't be very dramatic now would it?" she replied with a groan.

"_Alright, I'll head over to Linden Baum as soon as I can, meet you there."_

"Nice," she smiled as she came to a stop in front of a gated house, looking toward the only window that was lit up, "There's just one thing I have to do first."

And with a confident smile, Nao flipped her phone closed and stretched her arms out in front of her, fingers laced together, before taking a deep breath. It was times like these that she really envied her friend's athletic ability, but she would just have to make do. Once the security camera on the stone ledge scanned over to the other side, the girl used all her strength to pull herself up and over, rolling off the inside ledge and into a set of bushes.

She clenched her teeth together and fought every urge to curse out loud, but that didn't stop a painful grunt from escaping her. Nao brushed some twigs and snow out of her hair and adjusted herself to be knelt down in a crouch. Her eyes remained focused on her target, but every so often would glance around to make sure she wasn't being seen. When the coast was clear, the girl moved as fast as she could through the snow until she reached the next patch of shadow beneath a balcony. As planned, there was a makeshift rope, of old sheets, hanging down for her to climb up.

_Ah, I'm so glad I taught her how to make one of these._

She smiled proudly, gripping it tightly and pulling herself up.

Nao then pressed her back flat against the wall and turned her head only as much as she needed to peer into the room, it appeared to be empty.

"Hey, Yukino? Are you in there?" she whispered.

"Nao-chan?" came the voice as footsteps approached and the door slid open.

"I'm almost ready."

The redhead stepped inside, briefly kissing her girlfriend before she went back to gathering things into a suitcase. Nao just stayed waiting by the doorway, but make sure she was not casting a shadow. She looked a tad solemnly at the brunette.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked, causing the smaller girl to stop packing for a second.

"...Yes," Yukino continued what she was doing, "The life I want... it isn't here..."

"I understand," Nao had her arms folded across her chest, "And I love you, but I just want to make sure you won't do something you'll regret..."

There was a soft click from the luggage being closed and then a sigh from the girl who stood up to get her coat and scarf.

"I'll regret it if I stay in this place any more. This house is a cage-"

_Yeah, I noticed._

Nao mused, picking another twig out of her hair.

"And I want to be with you..." she sounded more shy than usual, her olive green eyes turning to face lime ones, offering the best smile she could considering the situation.

"This is just the way it has to be."

"Then I'm glad," the redhead affirmed with a nod.

"This is really brave, and I'm proud of you for going through with it."

The mousy brunette then suddenly smiled and leapt across her room to embrace Nao, who happily caught her in her arms and rested her chin atop the girl's head.

"Yukino... Let's go," she whispered, sliding her fingers around the trembling hand.

-0-

As comfy as it was, lying on top of each other on the couch, Natsuki couldn't help but get a little antsy. With the sweet moment passed, she was starting to feel insecure again about their situation. Even if they hid it from themselves, they were technically engaged; something that the young girl was still uncomfortable with. In a way her previous reasons for not wanting to get married to Shizuru had amplified since she started getting her strange new feelings. Before, if she were inadequate as a wife, she would always be able to say "well I never wanted to be one"... but now... she wasn't sure.

_I already have no idea what to do when I'm her girlfriend..._

She thought tensely.

_What am I supposed to do later? What if..._

She groaned and rolled her head to the side, much to Shizuru's displeasure.

_What if this still is just a crush or a phase...? It'll break her heart..._

"What are you thinking about?" asked the girl whose ruby eyes were looking the girl beneath her up and down for signs of discomfort.

"Nothing..." Natsuki lied, which was apparently picked up on since Shizuru merely stared at her with a more accusatory look.

"Really, it's fine. I have to stop being so serious all the time... it ruins good moments like this," she offered a weak smile that quickly turned to a confused and somewhat unhappy expression when the body on top of hers stood up.

She remained speechless and curious as she watched Shizuru walk away from the couch and over to the piano, silent as well, before sitting down and running her fingers over the keys. Natsuki could just barely make out the look on her face before the gentle sound of the music took over... which is when the younger girl's mouth gaped in unison with her breath getting caught in her throat. She stared into the room at the far end of the house with a mixture of intense happiness and intense surprise.

"...That song..." she whispered to herself, her eyes beginning to water.

Shizuru just looked so... right, playing that melody. The solemnity of the piece was outmatched by the strength within its personal meaning. Right on time, Natsuki got up as well. She knew how much time she had, but it wouldn't be long until she was now standing next to Shizuru with her viola resting in proper form.

It was just seconds before she would start to glide the bow over the strings. Despite them having never played it together before, the combination was much better than any of their attempts alone. For a split second Natsuki began to wonder again just how Shizuru had picked up on learning this piece, but this wasn't the time. She would play this out until the end and keep it complete.

The music gently drifted off into silence as the piece came to an end; Natsuki dropping her arms to her sides and Shizuru sliding her fingers off the keys. Even though the latter had yet to make eye contact, she was still smiling and happy.

"That was... the first song you ever heard me play..." Natsuki muttered, glancing to see if her eyes would be met.

At last they were.

"Yes... It was the first time I saw just a little bit of who you really were inside... Even if you did cover it up right after," she chuckled a little.

"I'm sorry..." Natsuki took a deep breath and placed her instrument on top of the piano before taking a seat next to her girlfriend, "But Shizuru... when you said you wanted us to be friends... It made me really happy."

The elder girl blushed slightly, and was about to say something in response but allowed Natsuki to continue.

"Which is why I'm even more sorry that I spent a month avoiding you when we could have been using that time to get to know each other. I always hide from my feelings!"

Her fists were clenched over her knees as she stared angrily at them.

"It's stupid and cowardly, and it makes me a jerk... and I'm doing it again now! And because I've always hidden my feelings I'm so not used to what they are! So I... I..."

Shizuru sighed and pulled Natsuki into an embrace, even if it made the latter stiffen up from surprise.

"I know what you're going to say. Remember, it was only yesterday that you first acknowledged everything you feel. You can take time to figure out where it all fits in..."

"I just... I don't want to hurt you. Not now, and not in the future... and I don't know if I'll be able to do that," she sighed and relaxed, ending up with a smile despite the silence that fell after she spoke.

"Heh... You knew that if you played that song I would tell you what was on my mind."

Shizuru smiled again.

"Of course. Like I said, it was the song I heard when I first saw into you. So I thought I would try again," she lifted the girl's chin up to look into her eyes and gave a mischievous wink, "And it worked."

And just like that, the tension had disappeared. Natsuki snuggled into Shizuru's arms, getting the sense that all would be well if she did so. Whatever she would call this, it was certainly a unique feeling that she could only get from being with this one person. Natsuki knew she wouldn't even dare hugging one of her friends like this, so at least it was a special kind of liking someone, she was aware of that much and it made her happy.

_Mm._

She nodded into the chest she was nestled against.

_This is special._

However in that very moment, there was a loud grumbling sound coming from between them. The pair blinked with surprise but Natsuki's face quickly turned bright red with embarrassment; especially with the suppressed laugh from Shizuru when she pulled back for a second.

"Ara, it seems like Natsuki has gotten her appetite back from last night," she stood and took the girl's hand in her own, smirking playfully, "Come, let's make a real couple's dinner!"

"A wha-?!" emerald eyes remained wide open as she was pulled up from the bench and into the kitchen.

-0-

"Ah," Yukino breathed out in surprise when Nao flicked on the light to her apartment, then let out a slight giggle, "It's clean."

"Yeah well," the redhead picked up the heavy suitcase and carried it into the bedroom, "I figured that if you were going to be living with me permanently I should make it decent."

Yukino waited by the door, knowing they would be heading out right away anyway, until she heard a thud down the hallway. Nao then emerged empty handed and strode towards the doorway, dusting her hands to gesture that the girl's stuff was safely put in a safe place. However, when she refocused her attention to the girl's expression, Nao tilted her head to the side.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing, don't worry about it."

"Aww naw, you're not getting away with it that easy," Nao joked as she walked thought the doorway, passing her girlfriend slowly enough to playfully tug her out of the room by placing her palm on her forehead and forcing her to step backwards.

Yukino tripped a little in her steps, mumbling some incoherent requests to stop but not really minding. When they were both standing in the hallway, the brunette on the far wall while Nao locked the door, she finally spoke.

"I don't want to be a burden on you... And I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to move things too fast... I guess I was just caught up in the excitement," she looked away shyly, but her chin was quickly directed to face lime eyes.

She was caught in a surprise kiss, and just as her eyelids fluttered closed they jolted open at the sensation of Nao's breath whispering into her ear.

"I like it fast," she said with a smirk, resting their foreheads together, "Being excited is a good feeling."

She quickly kissed the brunette's nose and stepped back, taking her by the hand.

"Come on, I'm starving after all that work. Breaking you out of your house and all!"

-0-

"What took you so long?!" Mai called from the booth seat in the diner where she had been waiting.

"You called me and told me to meet you for some big announcement and then show up late?"

The girl continued to pout as Nao rolled her eyes and sat across from her with Yukino at her side.

"Sorry, I told you I had something to do first," she gave the brunette a knowing glance which was accepted with a smiling nod; and luckily the whole thing went over the head of the third girl.

"Oh God," Mai face-palmed, "I don't need to know about your sex life, just say you were busy!"

Yukino blushed bright red, quite similar to Natsuki actually, and Nao merely snorted into laughter and waved dismissively. Of course, that hadn't been what they were doing, but it was better to leave the answer vague than blurt out all the details of their little rescue mission.

"You know I'd love to sit here and embarrass you with a detailed description," she held back a laugh at Yukino's terrified expression, "But I actually have more exciting news."

"Yeah?" Mai was already worn out with Nao's teasing, and wasn't sure whether or not to be scared for what she would have to say next, so she just kept her eyes closed and leaned back into the seat cushion.

"Yep!" the redhead grinned, "Kuga and Fujino are finally together!"

"What?!" this certainly caught her attention, Mai slammed both of her hands on the table, leaning forward quickly and giving Nao a demanding glare.

"How did- What?"

"Come on, you don't have to be so surprised," Nao leaned back and examined her nails, "We both knew she was into her for a while now. It just took a little... push."

She groaned and face palmed.

"Or in our case, since Kuga is so dense, it took a big push. But in any case, they're on their first date as we speak."

"Wow... Wait, what do you mean big push?" Mai asked, getting a faux-innocent look in reply.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing! Just... took her to a bar last night and let the magic happen," she shrugged, "I was busy with my girl here."

She wrapped an arm around Yukino's shoulders.

"It's true," the brunette nodded, "Although it wasn't exactly a smooth transition... But in the end it worked out for the best so there's nothing more we could do."

"So let's go hide in the bushes outside their window and see what they're doing!" Nao exclaimed, as if she had just gotten the best idea ever.

Unfortunately it was met with glares by the other two.

"Don't you dare!" they exclaimed in unison.

"It'll be fun! We can... I dunno, make funny noises and mess with them!"

There was silence.

"Ugh fine, you guys suck," Nao pouted, "Where's my damn food?!"

-0-

"Okay..." Natsuki began, nervously fidgeting with her hands, "Open your eyes."

Already smiling, Shizuru slowly did as she was told to set eyes upon what her girlfriend had been doing. Earlier they had decided that, being the better cook of the two, Shizuru would make the meal, and Natsuki would be in charge of setting the table; and as it turns out she didn't take that task lightly at all. The elder girl's mouth gaped open ever so slightly when she saw the way the dining room was adorned with candles. She was about to say something complementary when she caught sight of Natsuki's oddly frustrated expression at the table.

"Yeah, it needs more flowers..." she muttered, sort of to herself before looking at Shizuru, "We need to buy more for the house actually."

Shizuru chuckled and lighted a hand to delicately try hiding it.

"Rough and tumble Natsuki wants to have a house of flowers?" she teased.

"Agh!" she pouted and looked away with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Just because I like stuff like fighting and motorcycles and whatever doesn't mean I don't like pretty things!"

Her ramble was cut short when she felt arms snake around her from behind and a chin rest on her shoulder.

"Pretty things suit you too, Natsuki," Shizuru said with a reassuring smile.

"Now let's eat, you must be hungry."

The younger girl nodded, and blushed when her cheek was kissed for a split second, and then sat down at her spot at the table.

After their delicious "real couple's dinner", the two lovers took to the living room where they were now sitting in front of the fire place. They had moved around the furniture to accommodate them both stretching their legs out in front of them, and so that they could face the window on the opposite side of the room.

The warmth from beside them was nothing compared to what they felt by holding each other. Shizuru sat with her back against the base of the sofa, and Natsuki was comfortably nestled between her legs and embraced by her arms. She rested her midnight hair on Shizuru's chest and let her eyes fall closed to take in her surroundings with her remaining senses. The scent of the one enveloping her made her guard melt away, she had no reason to be worried about anything if Shizuru was there. Not about winning, or impressing people, or making sure people kept their distance... None of those thoughts even crossed her mind.

Shizuru, on the other hand, was keeping her gaze straight ahead and looking out the window at the snowfall that was picking up again. She smiled at the small flakes reflecting in the moonlight.

_Snow has always been a good omen for me._

She chuckled briefly but stopped and looked down when she felt the girl stir. She gave her a questioning gaze, even though Natsuki couldn't see it since she too was now staring outside, mesmerized.

"I can see why you like winter so much," she said, only slightly above a whisper, "It's... romantic."

"Mm," Shizuru nodded against the top of Natsuki's head, wanting to preserve the quiet for just a little longer.

However, she was surprised by the lack of warmth all of a sudden when the latter stood up.

"Ah-?" her voice uncharacteristically crackled into a whimper

Then, a hand was held out toward her which she took eagerly and got to her feet. Before she knew it, she was pulled into Natsuki's arms; or rather she was hugged quite tightly around the waist by the girl.

"I know I'm confusing, and I'm sorry... Ugh, and I'm also sorry if my constant apologizing is annoying to you... I just want to make sure you know how I feel now."

She looked up into crimson pools.

"I want to give back to you – not out of guilt – but because I finally understand why you wanted to be with me... because now... I feel that way about you."

There were no words to describe the feeling in Shizuru's heart right then. She had to close her eyes to keep from letting her emotions flow out too quickly. She wanted to tell her just how much she loved her, but knew that for now she would have to keep it to herself for a little longer.

_I don't want Natsuki to say it back because she feels she has to make me happy..._

She rested her head down on Natsuki's forehead, as if in some strange way she hoped her message would be sent to the girl.

_If anyone is going to say it, she has to do it first._

The reply wasn't literal, but in its own way evident. Shizuru felt herself begin to sway back and forth slowly, moved by Natsuki, whom at the same time was humming a soft melody. She had never noticed before but the girl had a beautiful voice as well. Everything about her was perfect.

As time went on, the pair began to switch between who led their slow dancing and who hummed the next song. Although more often than not Natsuki would be the one happily humming one of her memorized pieces while being guided around the room by Shizuru. They continued with their simple footwork until the younger girl took the lead again; if only for a short while.

Looking down with a hidden smirk, Natsuki moved them over to the couch where she skilfully planted a leg behind one of Shizuru's and pushed her back into the cushions. They landed with a light "oof" and Shizuru blinked in confusion as Natsuki immediately began to snuggle on top of her.

"Woops, sorry about that," the girl said with mock sincerity as she closed her emerald eyes, "I guess I tripped. My bad."

Shizuru could feel her body quiver with the short, cute laughs and smiled in return.

"Oh no," she replied in her own fake voice, "And with Natsuki on top of me, I can't get up!"

"How about that..." the girl grinned and wrapped her arms around Shizuru's waist again, "And I'm too tired to get up. I had a long day... Time really flies when you're having fun."

Shizuru merely blushed and kept smiling, pulling Natsuki closer with one hand and petting her head with the other.

"Very well, you should rest," her own tiredness was starting to show itself as well in the form of a yawn that was cutely caught by Natsuki as she drifted off to sleep.

"Sweet dreams..." Shizuru whispered before leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

_I'll never have to dream again, Natsuki... you've made them all come true._


	16. I Know

**XVI – I Know**

It was now four weeks since the couple's first date. The late-January thaw had come and gone and the air was now ripe with the cold air of February. More so than snow right now there was ice, something that usually mesmerized Natsuki. The young girl, despite not ever being really too fond of winter, would often look at ice when thinking. It... impressed her. Unlike the fickle and popular snow, ice was solid. It was strong and impenetrable, keeping all of the falling dead leaves and such out of the crisp water below it.

A frown then formed over Natsuki's face when all these thoughts of ice reminded her of her nickname that caught on over the years. Many called her the "Ice Princess" because of how she never really enjoyed talking with others, at least on a personal level beyond hellos and goodbyes, and even then one had to be lucky. Although just as the frown came, it went. Natsuki remembered the features of ice that she admired. She didn't see it as a flaw that she had a hard surface to get past. She didn't want all the water of her insides to stream out and waste, or get filled with dirt and dead things from autumn. It was altogether simpler and safer to keep the inside and outside separate from each other.

However, thoughts of winter's attributes flitted away when the thought of a certain flame haired friend crept into the girl's mind. Natsuki had spent all day in the basement training to try clearing her head, but so far it wasn't working so much. With another forceful punch, the girl caused the anchors in the floor and ceiling that held the punching bag in place to rattle and drop some dust. She grunted, part frustrated and part to express her painful physical state, and stepped back.

_Seriously... what did I ever do to you? Sheesh!_

And then, grinding her teeth, Natsuki began her kicking practice; swinging her leg into the side of the bag as long as it would have it. It wasn't so much that she was angry with Nao, just confused; incredibly confused. The two girls got into spats on a regular basis, but this was different. For almost a month Nao had been not only become extremely avoidant of her navy-haired friend, but whenever they talked her tone was more annoyed than usual. This was different than one of their silly arguing moments, there was something behind it that no one was telling her; and as hypocritical as it may be, Natsuki didn't like secrets.

On one hand it was something she could relate to with Nao. Wanting to keep her life private was her decision – there was another swift kick – but Natsuki's own desire to not feel helpless to her friends was overpowering her will to keep her distance. She would never admit it, but she wanted to help.

There was one final kick then, that successfully freed the weighted bag from its restraints and sent it rolling across the room, over to the feet of Natsuki's girlfriend who had just come down to check on her.

"Ara Natsuki, don't break our equipment. We only get so much of a discount..." Shizuru raised an eyebrow and picked up the bag by what was left of its top chain and planted it vertically in such a way that she was also casually leaning on it.

"Sorry," the girl said quietly between breaths, sweat making her azure hair glisten as she walked over to the elder one of the pair and placed an informal kiss on her lips, "I'll fix it up later... It'll give me something to do."

Shizuru merely watched as Natsuki nonchalantly took the bag from her side and placed it on the outer edge of the mats against the wall. She was concerned to say the least, as the latter had been acting strangely for nearly a month. At first she had jumped to the conclusion that it had something to do with their relationship, but quickly dismissed it after weeks of growth on the girl's part. It had indeed took time, but Natsuki came to realize the benefits of having the "girlfriend" role as opposed to the "friend" role. No... the source of the girl's stress was from something else.

"Natsuki... are you sure you're alright?" Shizuru sighed.

"For the hundredth time, today, yes I'm fine," Natsuki groaned back, although with a light-hearted undertone that implied she appreciated her concern.

"In that case, you wouldn't mind sparring with me for fun now would you?" ruby eyes gleamed as that familiar grin came over the girl's features.

"We haven't practiced together in quite some time," she was already approaching.

"Mm," Natsuki nodded in agreement, but was now standing rather stiffly with her arms across her chest.

Her mind was clearly elsewhere... so much so that she was cleanly hit upside the head by Shizuru who made her last few steps as swift as possible.

"Hey! We didn't take our places or declare the start yet! No fair!" she rubbed her head, had Shizuru meant it to cause damage it would have been worse, but still, it wasn't exactly fun.

"So I bend the rules some times," Shizuru shrugged, "I figure at our level surprise attacks aren't a problem..."

She donned a patronizing expression and looked up in thought, finger placed on her chin.

"I guess I _can_ be wrong."

Natsuki's right shoulder dropped to the side while her eye seemed to get an uncontrollable twitch in response to the comment – in addition to her previous state of frustration. Then, shaking her head clear, she locked eyes with the girl a few feet away. Fists clenched tightly, she sprang forward and launched a powerful strike to Shizuru's abdomen, which, while evaded, gave her the chance to swing her leg around and hit the side of her shoulder.

Shizuru stepped as quickly as she could, allowing the shockwave to bounce through her down to her feet to gain some distance. Her disadvantage became clear soon in their match, with a groan she raised her guard to defend as best as possible against a barrage of fast punches that wouldn't let up. She was limited by her clothing, regular day-wear like the jeans she was wearing made sidestepping not as clean as it usually was, and with attacks this fast she had no choice but to endure until a better opening presented itself.

However, Natsuki's head was not at all in the game. Even with the nature of being an offensive striking type, she knew better than to concentrate on the same area and repeat the same technique this long. She had lost track of this being a spar with her girlfriend, and fell back into frustration with her redheaded friend, doing nothing more than burning off her energy.

That said, it wasn't much longer before this was her undoing. Her arms had eventually grown weary and when preparing to switch to kicks were too weak to hold up a proper defence. In the split second that she reeled back and raised her right knee Shizuru had moved out of its trajectory and grabbed hold of Natsuki's left arm. Then, with the simplest of techniques, she pulled down. Natsuki easily fell, but as she landed a more specific annoyance smeared across her face. Of course it wasn't Shizuru that was making her so upset, but she wasted no time in somersaulting back and then jumping to her feet before running in with a sweep of her legs.

Luckily, with the running start Shizuru could see what was coming and once again evaded it, but was surprised that Natsuki lacked the sense to stay low when coming out of her missed attack. Normally a difference in height wouldn't matter but the latter should have realized that with Shizuru's legs restricted and her style utilizing grabs and the like, staying low would be the best way to avoid that. However, with a frustrated cry, and eliminating the last of her energy the girl leapt as high as she could in an attempt to deliver a spinning hook kick, but while airborne.

Shizuru gasped a little but made sure to end this. She already thought that Natsuki was worn out and only challenged her to a friendly match. If she was going to keep wearing herself out like this, it would be dangerous to her health. The girl swiftly ducked while reaching up to take hold of Natsuki's ankle. Using the momentum to her advantage, Shizuru twisted Natsuki around in order to rotate once and land on her front side with her arms pinned under her.

As if that wasn't enough, after her thud on the ground, Natsuki felt the weight of her girlfriend on her back. She was straddling her with her palms on her shoulder blades to keep her from moving. At first the girl fidgeted to regain control of the fight, but after a deep sigh and the pain sinking in she had realized it was already over. Still, with a pout, she remained silent for quite some time.

"Mou Natsuki... What is it?" Shizuru relaxed her pressure now, certain that the girl beneath her wasn't going to be escaping, and instead slid down so that she was now lying on Natsuki's back and hugging around her neck.

"Nao..." her eyes shifted to the side, "She's being so annoying!"

"Ah, but don't you always get into little spats with her?"

"Usually she pisses me off by being in my face all the time... Now she's ignoring me. And it's not for any stupid reason like teasing me about us having alone time... or whatever she thinks we're doing. It's like she genuinely doesn't want to talk to me and won't say why."

"Hmm, that does sound troublesome. Have you asked Mai-san about it?"

"No... I was going to but then every time I thought of asking I just got angry and thought if Nao wanted to talk to me then she would so there's no point in dragging other people into this."

Admittedly, the girl did seem to have a point, but despite what either of them would say to deny it, Shizuru knew that they had a very close bond and did not wish to see it broken. With a quiet mumble, she rolled off Natsuki's back to lie down on her own beside her.

"I think you should. The worst that could happen is that she doesn't know, in which case she would probably want to help you."

Emerald eyes still gazed around absent-mindedly, her thoughts on the matter at hand, but stopped once she nodded in affirmation. Perhaps she shouldn't be so opposed to help – or less opposed anyway. Talking to Mai would certainly be more productive than being down here beating their training equipment senseless. Natsuki's arms twitched a little when she moved them to her sides and bent her elbows in an attempt to push herself up.

"Uwah!" although unfortunately she hadn't realized her earlier strain until now and slipped, hitting her head on the floor mat.

"Ow... I can't move... Stop laughing!"

Shizuru delicately covered her lips from showing the cute expression she was making, giggling at the way her girlfriend was proudly trying to struggle her way off the floor. It lasted just long enough for her to enjoy Natsuki's grumbling and pouting but alas she proceeded to help her. Rolling up onto her feet in a single motion, Shizuru leaned over, took hold of the girl's arms, and lifted.

Natsuki staggered for a second once she was placed back on her feet, still holding onto Shizuru's shoulder for support for a moment. She tried insisting that she could walk on her own, but the latter refused to let go just to see the exhausted girl fall again.

"Damn it just let me walk!" she continued to squirm away, "I'm fine now!"

"No you're not!" Shizuru retaliated. Being right and all, she too wouldn't let up her own stubbornness, using her quicker movements to scoop behind Natsuki's knees.

"W-what are you?!" the younger girl had now become quite stiff, also trying to hide her face that was becoming pink.

"I'm carrying you, what does it look like?" she presented an impenetrable grin, adjusting her grip for a second to accommodate the girl in her arms.

Despite Natsuki's initial protest, she knew deep down that Shizuru was correct. She had over-trained and now this was the punishment for her weakness. Yes, it was punishment. If it was a consequence of improper training then it was tough, and cool, and all those other things that the biker thought important.

And so, in "honourable defeat" Natsuki relaxed into the hold.

-0-

Soon after being carried up to the main floor and seated on the couch in the living room, Natsuki had her phone out and was searching for Mai in her list of phone numbers. Shizuru had taken it upon herself to get a lunch put together for the two of them to help the girl regain her strength after her intense practice earlier. Natsuki was still for a moment, her thumb hovering over the call button, trying to think of what to say first. She shook her head then, it was nothing. She was just calling Mai to see what's up, there was no need to be so concerned about words, they called each other all the time.

"_Hello?" came the voice on the other end of the line after a few seconds of ringing._

"Hey," Natsuki replied, unsure again how to continue.

"_How are things? Getting along well with your girlfriend?" her grin was nearly visible with that kind of tone._

Natsuki just sighed and muttered some sort of grunt that indicated that yes everything was fine, and that wasn't the reason she called.

"The one I'm worried about is Nao," Mai was oddly silent at the mention of the other girl's name, in such a way that she was intently waiting to hear what Natsuki had to say on the matter.

"She hasn't called me to hang out in almost a month which is weird enough, but whenever I call her she's blown me off and didn't spend more than a few minutes talking."

"_Mm," the redhead hummed in response, "She's always been rather closed off though, that's what I've been telling myself anyway..."_

"You mean you've been having the same problem?"

"_Yeah, I even went to her place a few times to see if she was okay but she wouldn't even let me in."_

"I think we should go see her together, I mean, we have to figure out what's going on. We gave her a month to sort out whatever it was and if she couldn't do it without our help, than we at least deserve an explanation."

She could hear some chuckling.

"What's so funny?"

"_You care!" Mai chimed, eliciting another groan from the navy haired girl._

"Shut up, I do not. I just don't like being treated this way."

"_You two are the bestest friends aren't you! Closer than you are even to me!" Apparently the request to shut up was not heeded in the slightest._

Natsuki on the other hand simply spat out a time and told Mai to meet her at Nao's apartment then before hanging up. She folded her arms over her chest and fell into the back cushions with a scowl. Even after all this time, it still bugged her for people to see her with friends. She would always attempt to maintain that cold loner exterior, no matter what she allowed to be done to her in the comforts of her own home. At that same moment, Natsuki opened an eye to look towards the sound of Shizuru sitting down and placing a tray with their food down on the table in front of her.

-0-

Within a few hours, Natsuki's bike was slowing to a stop in front of a familiar apartment complex. She had already gone to pick up Mai from her house, and now the two girls were dismounting from the Ducati. They locked both of their helmets in the compartment at the back of the machine before heading up to the first set of locked doors. Natsuki was standing coolly against the wall of the atrium opposite to where Mai was dialling the buzz code to Nao's apartment.

"_Who's there?" the call box tersely demanded._

"Geez Nao, we don't even get a 'Hello' anymore?" Natsuki argued, right off the bat, getting a glance from Mai to perhaps be more sensitive.

"I think what Natsuki is trying to say is that it's just a little unfair that you're ignoring us without even giving a reason why. If we did anything we'd rather hear it so we can apologize."

"_I don't want her apology!"_

"I'm not going to apologize for anything!" the other two snapped at the same time, at least maintaining the old habit.

Although after some seconds of silence afterward Nao spoke again.

"Fine, I'll come down, but I don't want to hang out or anything... I'm not in the mood."

And without another word the line went dead, leaving the visitors to wait patiently at the bottom of the tower-like building. A few minutes later they caught sight of the lime eyes coming down the stairs, not dressed in anything suitable to drag her out in either.

"Hey..." she finally said, glancing at the more accusing looks she was getting before sighing, "Look, like I've been telling you guys, it isn't anything to do with you. We're still friends, but I don't want to talk about it."

"And we're saying we don't want that excuse anymore," Natsuki stepped forward, off the wall, she wasn't threatening – especially by Nao's standards – but her stubbornness wasn't going to let up.

"Come on. Even when things get rough you never sit alone in your room and sulk, you usually get over things by partying nonstop..."

The redhead grimaced and clenched her fist. There wasn't going to be any way out of this. She could keep a stalemate with Natsuki going for ages, but not with Mai also present and concerned. She had more in common with the former so she inevitably spent more time with her, but Mai was just as much one of the few people she actually respected and trusted cared about her. She was more like a mother figure whereas Natsuki was a sister figure. So, whenever she and her "older sister" would get into fights, their "mother" would always be the tie breaker that put an end to it.

"...You're right Kuga, so tell me, where's the pattern break?" Nao held the emotion out of her voice.

"What?"

"One of these things that ain't like the others you dunce."

"Oh..." Mai was the first to put it together, quite frankly, being more observant than her other friend, "What happened?"

"Can someone please tell me what's going on!" The conversation was getting ahead of Natsuki it seemed.

"Yukino and I broke up you moron!" Nao finally said, fighting back the redness in her face at the mere mention of the girl's name.

"And like I said, I don't want to talk about it. And I don't want to party or anything... Now that you know and are sure that it's not you can you leave me alone?"

Mai was silent, rather saddened by the news actually. She really enjoyed seeing the way her friend acted when the girl was present, either physically or in conversation. It was cute, and for once Nao had the chance to be in a normal relationship instead of her series of meaningless flings with people she met at bars.

Natsuki too was quiet, but more for the reason that she didn't know what to say. She was never good at cheering people up. Her specialty was relating crappy things from her life to the crappy things in Nao's life and somehow the two would end up feeling comfortable knowing they at least weren't alone. But with the good way things had been going with Shizuru lately, Natsuki had made the safe assumption that she was probably the last person Nao wanted to hear from right now. The most of a connection they had right now was finally knowing what it was like to love, but unlike her friend apparently, Natsuki still had it.

"Really, it's okay," Nao finally said after the quiet had gotten to her, "You can go. I'm getting better anyway; I'll be back to my old self in no time."

"If you say so..." Mai replied, her nurturing instincts had her hesitating before she was pulled by the arm. Natsuki had already turned away, having an easier time accepting the wish to be alone when things were tough.

"Okay, call us if you need anything," she could hear Nao grunt something like her usual "no way" that actually meant "of course I will."

That along with the news they were just given was enough to stop her pursuit. She wanted the truth as to why she was being ignored, now that she got it, she didn't want to prod the girl further.

"Come on Mai, let's go."

Nao sighed in relief as she saw the two ride away on Natsuki's bike, her crossed arms falling to her sides, exhausted from the exchange before heading back up the stairs to her apartment. She solemnly creaked the door open, stepping inside, and as soon as it was securely closed she leaned her back on it.

"Ugh... It sucks being broken up with you," she groaned.

"I'm sorry," the mousy brunette replied, stepping out from her hiding place in their room, "I promise, I'll think up something soon. I don't want to make you lie to your friends..."

Nao remained silent but welcomed the warmth that cuddled up under one of her arms, holding Yukino closely.

"We'll come up with it together. For now it's important to keep your parents off our trail, because if they find you then it's really over. Mai and Kuga will get over it, my main concern is for you."

Yukino looked up and smiled.

"And for yourself too," she chuckled.

"Heh, yeah, and making sure I don't get arrested for kidnapping you."

"And...?" the brunette was looking for a specific phrase, and was intent on getting it.

"And nothing," Nao snorted haughtily, not wanting to give in. That was until she glanced back down into those puppy eyes.

"Fine, and because... I... Want you to... be with me."

Yukino's childish smile morphed into a more proud grin as she hugged tighter; being enveloped by the other girl's arm and tucking her head under her chin. Nao just stared across the room, thought evident in her gaze, before relaxing and closing her eyes.

_...Forever..._

But _that_ she would never admit out loud.

-0-

It had been some days since Natsuki confronted her friend on the matter of her distance, Shizuru had noticed as she stood on the back porch. With a hot cup of tea in her hands, warming her and emitting a light amount of scented steam, she looked out over their snow covered garden. Her gaze remained situated on the rock by the pond and brought a slight smile to her lips. Half a year ago today she was sitting in her room admiring the pictures she had been given of Natsuki. She was preparing to meet her but could never manage to get a grip on the fantasy she had. And then it all happened so fast. Her fairytale... simply didn't exist.

_Ah, but I'm glad..._

She mused, taking another sip of the beverage.

_If Natsuki had lived up to my every expectation, I don't want to imagine all the things that would not have meaning to me. That stone, where I first heard her play... When she first spoke to me somewhat amicably._

Shizuru chuckled at the memory and how it compared to their current relationship.

_I never would know how good it feels to have her fall in love with me..._

The furrowing of her brow at that moment expressed her shift in thoughts, accompanied by a soft sigh. Their relationship was fine, but she had been somewhat expecting some sort of report on what happened between her and Nao. A friend of a girlfriend wasn't a direct relation, and Natsuki did seem to be more content afterward which implied she at least got closure, but she was curious.

Right on cue, the girl in question could be heard stepping down the stairs, tying her hair up to prepare for some more training. She had been mentally berating herself for her loss of control earlier in the week, and decided to change her regiment to a more mental-spiritual approach, but that still required her to be in full uniform.

Natsuki was just a few steps away from the door to their basement when she caught sight of Shizuru staring outside. The former found her feet stopping and her eyes uncontrollably taking in the still form. Though it may have been weeks since her confession, she would probably always feel the strange twinge in her chest whenever she saw the older girl.

Shizuru smirked to herself, having heard the steps come to a halt and being able to sense she was being watched. She remained poised in her typical manner for a few more seconds, purposely allowing Natsuki to ogle her all she wanted... before taking full advantage of it.

"Ara, is Natsuki undressing me with her eyes?" she heard the initial gasp.

"She should know by now that I'd do it willingly if she asks."

The shocked emerald eyes met with playful rubies before expressing a scowl. Natsuki folded her arms over her chest in a defensive manner and looked away, scoffing at the giggles coming from a few feet away.

"Must you exploit _every_ opportunity to make fun of me?" she mumbled before slumping down on the armrest of the sofa.

"But it's just too fun," came the reply as Shizuru took a few steps forward and extended her delicate fingers to lift Natsuki's pouting chin, "Too cute."

The following huff of annoyance was silenced by a kiss which was comfortably received. Natsuki had let one of her hands reach around Shizuru's back, pulling them closer together. She couldn't stay mad at her too long after all.

"M-Natsuki," Shizuru muttered when she moved away from the girl's lips, but kept herself held by the embrace as she gave her a concerned look.

"Perhaps it isn't my business, but what happened when you spoke to Nao-san?"

Natsuki blinked, surprised, and just a little bit happy, that Shizuru had an interest in her friends' lives. Nevertheless, the topic made her take on a sombre expression.

"Oh, it wasn't that I didn't want to tell you. I guess it's not really a secret now that she told me and Mai. If you know it won't really be like I'm breaking her trust," she refocused on Shizuru's eyes.

"Nao said that she and Yukino broke up," the soft gasp and confusion in her eyes reminded Natsuki.

"Wait... wouldn't you have known that? Yukino is your friend."

"I didn't know... no one told me," Shizuru slipped out of the hold to take a more concentrated position in front of her girlfriend, eyes closed in thought ad a finger pressed to her chin.

"But now that you mention it, I haven't heard from her in quite some time either."

The couple groaned simultaneously to themselves, the same thought running through their minds.

"Some friends we are," Natsuki said, "I didn't even notice they were having problems."

"Neither did I," Shizuru replied, "But I suppose there isn't much that can be done now, if it seems that they aren't even speaking."

"Mm."

Just then there was a knocking at the front door, and both girls looked at each other curiously. They weren't expecting anyone, and it wasn't like this place was easy access to strangers. Shizuru was the first to move, making her way towards the door with Natsuki following closely behind, arms folded over her chest again, though now in a more dominant manner. Instinctively, she was to protect her house and those in it, and that confidence flowed out of her stare as the visitors came into view.

"Ara... Haruka, Reito?" Shizuru blinked.

Her first impression was it being a nice surprise, but the blonde's flaring temper could be seen from space; and was of course trailed with Reito's more bashful look at her. Although even he seemed to be off.

"Did you know about this?" Haruka asked firmly, stepping inside at Shizuru's allowance and kicking off her shoes as she walked to the center of the living room.

"About what?" the latter asked in response, albeit while shifting her gaze to the male of the group, assuming his answer would be much more concise; all of whom seemed to be ignoring the indignant Natsuki for the moment.

"Ah well, if you don't know then," his voice became softer and more comforting, "It appears that Yukino has run away."

Shizuru gasped, taken aback by the news, raising a hand to cover her open mouth. Natsuki too now had her eyes wide with shock, but was far more leaning towards confused than sad or scared on the wide spectrum of emotions spanning the room right now. She wasn't a part of their closely knit friendship after all, and thus was able to remain the most level headed.

"But," Shizuru mumbled, looking down briefly, "Natsuki and I were just talking about her."

"Nao said that they broke up," the navy-haired girl informed the others, which brought an unfortunate form of attention to her from Haruka.

"What?! Are you saying that Yukino ran away because of your delinquent friend?!" she barked, to which Natsuki barked back.

"No! It's not Nao's fault!" she defended, sighing as she sat back down on the armrest opposite to the one she was previously on.

"Besides, it's not my fault either!"

"Yes, Haruka," Reito intervened, "I know you're worried but lashing out will not make anything better."

"Hmph, well I'll feel better!"

The more mature two of the four merely offered Natsuki apologetic smiles, while the girl herself was using all her focus to keep from fighting fire with fire.

_Mental training... mental training..._ she told herself.

It seemed it would get done today after all.

"I guess this is why," Natsuki spoke again, "Yukino probably broke up with her before leaving..."

There were a few moments of silence, save for Haruka's growling breaths before something sparked in Shizuru's thoughts. Her crimson gaze moved to her girlfriend's thinking face.

"Natsuki, did Nao-san specify that Yukino was the one to break up with her?"

"Hm... No, she just said that they did, not who initiated it. Why?"

"Because I think you're right, Yukino wouldn't just disappear without a word."

"She did to us..." Haruka huffed, although with a bit more disdain; although the hand on her shoulder was comforting.

"I agree," Reito added, already bringing their theory to the next level, "And with the power her family has, if she was taken by a criminal they would have asked for a ransom by now."

"What are you saying?" Natsuki and Haruka asked in unison, before glaring at each other as if to say 'you stole my line!'.

"That we've been tricked," Shizuru sighed, with apparent relief, "She is safe thankfully, but we should at least tell them what we know."

Reito nodded and followed Shizuru to where she was starting to put on her jacket, the other two still standing in the living room confused, and Natsuki still clad in her uniform. The girl raised an eyebrow, but since it seemed that they were all going somewhere she quickly jogged up the stairs to her room to change. A few moments later, the four of them were standing on the front porch.

"So you're saying that the break up was just a cover for them two running away together?" Natsuki asked, to which she received a nod, and she sighed.

"Alright then, let's go."

Immediately, the girl turn turned from the other three, assuming she would be biking there herself with Shizuru in the car with her friends, but suddenly felt the other's presence. Emerald eyes looked over her shoulder as she took her helmet out of the back compartment. Shizuru was standing patiently, but with a smile on her face that expressed how much she was waiting to be invited. Natsuki chuckled and smiled back, tossing her spare helmet to her girlfriend.

"You're coming with me," she grinned before flipping the visor down on her own and mounting the machine.

Natsuki waited until she felt Shizuru get on behind her, started the engine, and then reached behind her to guide the latter's arms around her waist.

"Hold on tight."

"Because you want me t-?" came the voice from behind, the smirk evident in her tone.

"So you don't fly off and smash your face in!" Natsuki snorted.

"Because I'm too pretty-?" she continued to tease.

"You can let some go by you know..." the biker groaned, albeit with a hidden smile.

She cut off anymore teasing by the sound of the revving engine, a sign that Shizuru took to indeed hold on tighter, resting her head on Natsuki's back as they took off.

-0-

For the second time that month, Natsuki led the way to Nao's apartment building on her bike. A part of her had been hesitant to allow Reito and especially Haruka to come along, but it was only fair for them to know as well. She just hoped Nao wouldn't kill her for blowing whatever secret plan she had to pieces.

Once they were all assembled again, the navy-haired girl went over to the intercom and dialled her friend's buzzer code.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey Nao, I-" Natsuki was shoved away from the box, "Hey!"

"Listen you!" Haruka yelled, "Yukino's gone and either you have to tell us where your break up fits into that, or tell us where you're hiding her!"

"_Ugh... Damn it Kuga! Did you have to bring her with you!"_

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"_It means you're loud," Nao replied deadpan, although before anything could be verbally thrown at her in response, another voice could be heard in the background._

"_Nao-chan... if they already know... the best we can do is try to come to an understanding," Yukino said to her, but then turned her attention to the intercom that her friends could hear._

"_But you have to be civil... Haruka."_

Shizuru and Reito were trying fight back their giggling at the blonde's attempt at restraining her growl. Her logical side eventually took over and she sighed in defeat, and upon hearing the quiet, the front door unlocked to allow the four into the building.

As they expected, once they got to the apartment in question they found Yukino faithfully at Nao's side, although with a guilty look in her eyes. The pair allowed their friends in, but the latter was less than likely to be traditionally hospitable to uninvited guests. The redhead fell back into the one large chair in the living room, taking the brunette with her to snuggle happily on her lap. Natsuki was the first to sit on the two-person sofa, more familiar with this home than the others, but Shizuru soon sat next to her, taking the younger girl's hand in hers.

Haruka was left standing when Reito took a wooden chair from the side, but she didn't mind. She had a long rant to get into anyway, so being able to march back and forth like an angry parent suited her mood. She was stopped though, no one present had the desire to listen to a lecture today.

"Haruka, just let them explain. As friends we're on Yukino's side, and if she's safe that's all that matters so we need to help her," the male said to control his wife's temper.

"Thank you," the brunette said, adjusting her glasses briefly.

"I left of my own free will... something..." she looked down shyly, "That I didn't have in that home."

"So you just left everything? Your house, your things, your family! Yukino they're worried about you!" Haruka, while loud as always, did have a less authoritarian tone.

"I don't need any of those things," the mousy girl shook her head and griped Nao's hand tighter.

"And my parents... well, I will handle communication with them as soon as I figure out what to say. Just please, do not tell them that you know where I am."

"You should do so soon though," Shizuru interjected, followed by Reito.

"Mm, if anything for your own security. The more you hide the more effort they are going to put into finding you. You have to let them know that you aren't coming back... If that truly is your decision."

"They're right," Nao sighed, meeting the olive-toned irises, "This is as long as we can go without them bringing in the cavalry to find you."

She looked towards the others.

"But we'll the ones to do it. It's up to Yukino what she wants to say, so don't interfere."

Haruka was about to yap something, but a quick glance from Yukino forced her to end it with little more than a snort and the crossing of her arms.

"As long as you do something soon... and you're actually happy... I won't stop you. But you have to tell your parents soon."

Yukino nodded, and then Nao peered over her to notice Natsuki glaring at the side wall, her chin rested on a clenched fist.

"You've been awfully silent Kuga," she chided.

"I'm still miffed that you didn't just tell me," her eyes didn't move.

"Well you can't exactly be trusted to keep gossip away from that one," she pointed to Shizuru, "Remember concert night?"

The girl rolled her jade eyes and sighed.

"Whatever."

"Unless... you're actually upset I didn't say anything because you spent all this time worrying about me," a Cheshire grin began to show itself.

"Shut up!"

-0-

And after some more banter between the two of them, it seemed that everything would, one way or another, end up peacefully resolved. As long as no one said anything, the drama would come to a close and, even though she hadn't said it out loud, Natsuki had a new appreciation for what Nao had found in Yukino, and was probably the most happy of them all to know that she hadn't actually gone through the pain of losing her in one way or another.

_I don't think..._ she found her thoughts wandering while biking her way back to her home with Shizuru, _I don't think I could handle it..._

Natsuki brought the Ducati to a stop under the small tarp covering that protected it from the snow. Quietly going through the routine actions of powering down the machine and locking the helmets away; she couldn't look away from the cute smile Shizuru had. It somehow always made her warm inside, even in the cold of winter. When the latter took a few steps away, out from the shelter, Natsuki could feel a part of her wishing to reach out and hold on, not wanting to be even the slightest bit apart. She exhaled, clicking the helmet compartment closed and turning to eye her girlfriend's tawny locks become speckled with snowflakes. She knew it. It wasn't something she necessarily learned, or had been taught, the girl just knew.

"I love you."

Shizuru had her eyes closed, facing the white sky with a blissful air and her arms slightly outstretched to feel the breeze as she walked towards the house in small steps. However, the crunching of snow beneath her feet came to a quick stop upon hearing Natsuki's voice. Her eyes opened as she turned back around. It stunned her really. All this time, as close as they had become...

"You've... never said that before," she muttered, her happy and hopeful eyes gazing down at the white between them.

"I'd thought that maybe you... you would still..."

"Mm," Natsuki nodded with a smile as she strode forward, holding Shizuru's hands in her own.

"I wasn't sure, or well... No, it's not that, I just didn't know _how_ to be sure. More than anything I didn't want to hurt you, but there isn't one all-purpose method to figuring it out, I wasn't going to find it by sitting around waiting."

She moved close and wrapped her arms around Shizuru's neck, resting her head beneath her chin.

"Not being able to stop this feeling... that's my way. That's how I know. I love you, Shizuru."


	17. What's Underneath

**XVII – What's Underneath**

Shizuru stood still, looking down into Natsuki's eyes as the snow fell around them. The words she had just heard, she'd been yearning for them for so long. She imagined this moment a million times and not once was she ever rendered speechless! It was finally time for her to speak, her turn to express just how strongly she felt about this girl and yet…

"I…" her voice, trailed off nervously, shaking in her throat.

"Shizuru?" Natsuki tilted her head curiously, eyeing the furious shade of red the other girl was turning.

_I can't believe this!_

Shizuru was mentally smacking her head against a wall. Apparently she had managed to even fool herself into believing she was always cool-headed and proper. The longer the silence went, the tighter she gripped to the sleeves of Natsuki's jacket.

"I lo-lov- uhh…" came the mangled stutter.

Ruby eyes clenched shut as she took a shaky half-step away to allow her head to fall limply in embarrassment. The world around her had been spinning quite fast and time was hazy, what had elapsed only a few seconds felt like minutes to the Shizuru who – like any normal person – had to take time to collect their thoughts after being told their feelings were returned.

"Oh my god…" Natsuki started to grin, "You're nervous!"

"I'm not!" the elder one blurted out, attempting to frown away what was obvious.

"You so are!" she giggled, holding tightly to the hands which were surprisingly warm despite the winter chill.

"No! I'm not!" Shizuru's voice was nearly squeaking her words by now.

"Oh really?" emerald eyes turned mischievous, "Then look at me and tell me you love me too! I already know you do."

Natsuki saw a scarlet iris peek out at her, and again the girl attempted her reply.

"I lo-uhh.. I love-…"

The navy-haired girl couldn't restrain herself anymore. She hadn't expected this reaction any more than Shizuru, but she also hadn't anticipated just how good it was. Her laughs had gone from giggles to happy chuckles, unfortunately for her pouting girlfriend. She was beginning to take another step back when Natsuki made a more emphatic effort to keep her close, pulling her into a tight hug, like she'd never given anyone before.

"You're too cute," the younger girl laughed through her bright smile, petting the chestnut locks.

Regardless of their difference in height, Shizuru had pinned her hands up to her chest, now pressed between herself and Natsuki while she buried her face into the girl's neck. She continued to whimper quietly, particularly after she felt the girl's body shake with her chuckles, but all in all, she felt safest when held in these arms. There was no way Natsuki was judging her, she knew this, but she was judging herself.

_I'm not nervous! I've only been nervous when I _couldn't_ tell her how I felt! Why is this-_

Her train of thought was cut off when she felt a palm slide up to her cheek.

"A-ah?" Shizuru tilted her head into the touch, turning to see Natsuki's smile soften from silliness to sincerity.

"Come on," her tone was nurturing, "It's okay, I'll stop laughing."

Shizuru's blush eased, even with the forehead now pressed against hers. Natsuki was still waiting for her reply, but in some way her laughter had actually eased the pressure in the end. Rather than needing some grand romantic explosion of words, like the elder girl had always imagined answering, this wasn't such a fantasy. If Shizuru had learned one thing over the course of their relationship it was that fantasy almost never plays out in reality. But her reality was so much more special than any fantastical imagery she'd conjured in her mind, because this – nervously curled up against her girlfriend's chest – was a moment she would never forget.

"I…" she started again, but with now with a clear voice.

"Hmm?" Natsuki held her smile, watching Shizuru's tension fade from her expression the second their eyes met again.

"I love you too."

The biker grinned wide again, tightening her embrace.

"That, just now, that made me love you even more."

"Mou," Shizuru hid her face again, "Why? You like seeing me embarrassed? How mean!"

"Heh, well, maybe just a little… I've never seen you act like that before. You're always so composed and whatnot, looks like I finally got to see what's behind that mask of yours."

"Eh?" the girl was genuinely curious now, embarrassment aside, "My mask?"

"Yeah, you know… The way you are when you feel like you have to impress people, which is almost all the time for you apparently," Natsuki chuckled a little.

"I don't mean to… I just," Shizuru eased again, resting her head on Natsuki's shoulder, "I just always wanted to impress you. I wanted you to like me, to love me, so I wanted to be perfect."

"Well, I do love you," the girl stepped back, taking a moment to look at the other seriously while combing through her tawny hair, "So you don't have to be so hard on yourself around me anymore."

"It will be a hard habit to break," it was Shizuru's turn to let out a laugh now.

"Really!"

Natsuki was insistent she get her point across.

"Thinking about it, I've really never seen you lighten up like that before. You're always doing… something. No wonder you got so nervous! You never relax!"

"I… What? Well I take walks outside?"

"Yeah, either as part of training or to think about serious stuff."

"I learned to play music? That's relaxing."

"To be with me – Which I'm so happy about, but still you had to keep your mask on then."

"Why do you keep calling it that?" the girl sulked.

"Because that's what it is!" Natsuki grinned and ruffled the top of Shizuru's head, earning a smirk.

"Oh really then? Speaking of masks, look at you now, all romantic and sappy. I never thought I'd see the day when you would laugh and cuddle anything, let alone find it cute."

"Hey, people can change," Natsuki grinned at first, but once more fell into heartfelt words, "You changed me."

"Mm," Shizuru nodded, "Then I suppose the same goes for me."

After a few seconds of silence, Natsuki's hand traced its way down Shizuru's arm to hold her hand. It had been a long day, and the only thing on her mind at this point was getting inside and curling up by the fireplace with the one she loved.

_How silly…_

Shizuru's mind continued to turn its cranks as they stepped through the snowy driveway up to the house. She contently followed Natsuki's lead, dreamily sighing at all that just happened.

_Of course I don't need a mask in front of her. What was I thinking?_

-0-

Today would be the last snowfall of the season, Natsuki noted to herself as she looked out the window while drying some dishes. It was already mid-March, and a part of her couldn't believe that time had passed so quickly. She smirked while putting a mug back in the cupboard.

_Then again, I've never done this much over the span of a few months before… It's been one crazy year._

Her thoughts idled about while in the midst of chores. Her life had changed so drastically and yet here she was, simply going about her day like any normal person.

_Hmm… Maybe it's growing up?_

She didn't really know, and honestly it didn't matter much. Natsuki's concern lay only with the present, just like they had agreed upon. The engagement rarely crossed her mind these days, certainly less than when she first moved into this house. The girl's gaze turned to the outside again, a smile gracing her features when she saw the one standing still in the middle of their garden. With the last dish put away, she was free to stare all she wanted from the warmth of the indoors.

"How does she do that?" the girl mused aloud with a chuckle, leaning against the doorframe.

In the meantime, Shizuru was staring up at the grey sky, enjoying the sight of all the floating snowflakes. Somehow she felt like she could lose herself in it. It was hard to feel cold, even in the snow, when she felt such warmth inside. The months had had their ups and downs sure enough, but more than anything, the love-struck girl was just that: struck.

"Ah?" she was about to turn around when she felt the touch of another, but quickly found herself embraced from behind.

Natsuki hadn't said a word, she hadn't meant to disturb her girlfriend, and thankfully the light surprise of her presence was taken with ease. Shizuru looked back to the sky, watching thin beams of sunlight peek through in the distance. With a faint smile, she slid her hands over the pair that held her close by her waist and nestled herself back into the younger girl.

"This is nice," she whispered.

"Mmhmm," Natsuki hummed, gently kissing the edge of Shizuru's cheek.

"Ara, you're affectionate today."

"I told you, I'm starting to find winter pretty romantic nowadays," she kissed her again, although this time further down along the girl's neck.

"Ah!" Shizuru shuddered, mildly tickled by the sensation.

"You know how you tease me all the time so that I blush?"

"This is payback?" she snickered.

"Not exactly," she kissed again, "I just get it now. You have some pretty cute reactions too."

Shizuru could do little more than giggle at this. It was strange. She had always been the pursuer of Natsuki, always admiring her and finding her adorable; she hadn't anticipated what it would be like to be on the receiving end of things for once. It was comforting, she found as she smiled, giving a gentle squeeze to the girl's hands. She felt the face nuzzle further into her neck, earning some more chuckles that were now shared between the couple.

"Well I'm certainly not the only cute one here," the tawny-haired girl finally turned around, cupping the rosy cheek in her hand – even when it pouted.

"Just… don't tell anyone."

"I won't," Shizuru appeased her, bringing the cold hands up to her lips.

"Oh Natsuki, you're freezing!"

"Well we are outside," the girl grinned and shrugged, if only for a second before she was scooped up in the other's arms.

She instinctively reached up around Shizuru's neck for balance but that didn't keep her from lightly flailing her feet and groaning.

"Back inside," ruby eyes glinted along with her smirk, "I wouldn't want you to get sick just because you couldn't resist me."

Honestly, the girl was expecting some kind of retort, as per the usual when she teased Natsuki. Instead there was silence, even as she placed the girl back on her feet on the back porch. Shizuru tilted her head in an attempt to get a better view of those emerald eyes. She was so deep in thought, at least it seemed that way.

"Natsuki…?"

But in truth, she was deep in emotion. Natsuki just stared at the inside of their house, all but for the last few seconds when she turned to face Shizuru.

"Yes."

"What?"

"I can't resist you."

There was no hesitation in her kiss. Both of Natsuki's hands held tightly to Shizuru's face, not letting her go as their lips moved rhythmically against each other. This kiss seemed so foreign at first, until a memory sparked in the elder girl's mind. Shizuru found her hands moving down the girl's sides, unconsciously massaging the top of her hips.

_This is like… our first kiss…_

The hunger was obvious, and the intention? She couldn't think that far ahead with Natsuki's tongue licking at the tip of hers. One thing was clear though: the girl most certainly could not resist anything anymore and used her physical attachment to Shizuru to guide them back in the house. She heard the door slide shut, courtesy of her girlfriend's quick thinking, which meant no more holding back.

Shizuru gasped mid-kiss when she felt a hand move from her face to her back, although this time it moved under her shirt from the very start. The pair remained in their hold while continuously increasing the intensity of their passion. They stood at the edge of the living room, hands roaming freely over each other's bodies and hearts pounding.

_The intention?_

"Stop thinking," Natsuki whispered a heated breath, not wanting to leave the girl's lips for too long.

_But I-_

Shizuru couldn't voice her words before the fingers up be her neck scratched their way down to the base of her spine. All that escaped her mouth was a shuddering purr while involuntarily arching her neck back. She wouldn't think again.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

That was all they heard, over and over, between their muffled moans and footsteps to the couch. Natsuki let herself fall over the armrest, knowingly pulling Shizuru on top of her and moving her hands to the front of her body. Her strong arms lifted the girl by her torso to adjust their angle, just briefly enough to feel the pressure of her hips being straddled before pulling her back down again. An emotion such as "happiness" was too complex for what she felt upon each grind, in a matter of seconds the girl had been reduced to a primal state of love. Happiness was a portion of "love" of course, but what she was feeling was… everything. Every possible emotion that could make up the one called "love."

"Unf," Natsuki shivered when she felt her action returned, along with a hand moving its way slowly up the front of her shirt.

She couldn't wait, waiting was resisting Shizuru's touch for a second longer than she wanted to, and with that the girl broke their kiss only long enough to quickly slip her shirt off and toss it aside. Shizuru's throat rumbled a deep vibration onto the newly exposed skin, her tongue massaging what her teeth left red with ache; a little revenge for the still-tingling lines on her back. Natsuki breathed hard and moved her hold to the messy auburn tresses, she had innately been trying to control the sensation, but soon fell into keeping the girl in place to make sure it wouldn't stop.

As requested, Shizuru stopped thinking. Somewhere in the back of her mind all that had been bridled since the moment they bet was set free. Natsuki wanted to see what would happen if she stopped thinking? She would get her wish.

The gentle squeak – which had been quickly cut off – only enticed the girl more. Natsuki was biting her lip to keep from losing all control as she felt her girlfriend's tongue slither beneath the cup of her bra. She had been so enthralled by the feeling that she didn't even notice the hand reach behind her back to unhook the garment completely. That was it for now, Shizuru couldn't focus on anything else anymore, she was quickly reaching the peak of her desire and would have to let the rest of the clothing fall where it may. So long as it was not an obstacle, she didn't care – this taste was too alluring. Her eyes had only just begun to completely glaze over when she was suddenly shoved over.

A leg between hers and a hefty grunt was all Shizuru knew before she wound up flat on her back, blinking up at the petrifying jade gaze. Natsuki had her pinned, both arms at either side of her head and legs entwined. Her mischievous leer only broadened at the sight of her lover – overcome by instinct – still attempting to reach out with her tongue.

"I love you," she spoke again, sultry in tone as she slowly – but forcefully – pressed one of her thighs between Shizuru's legs.

Lost in her own desires, Natsuki admired the way the girl's face twisted ever so slightly, leaning down to nip gently at her trembling jawline. However, this was only a distraction to keep her aroused as Natsuki decided to even the playing field. Both hands had moved their way up Shizuru's sides, taking her shirt and sweater up with it. Eagerly waiting to oblige, the elder girl removed her tops and flung them over the back of the furniture; and then, using all of her upper body strength, forced them both up into a sitting position.

Natsuki leaned back to accommodate it, holding tight to Shizuru's shoulders as their chests pressed together warmly. The latter found herself combing through midnight locks, inhaling the fresh scent of the girl's hair while securing her other hand on her waist for support through the perpetual hip movements. And in a few seconds their lips had met again.

They found themselves intoxicated by the new aromas of each other's pheromones. Remaining in this position only for so long before Shizuru took charge of the situation. Natsuki was lost in the touch of the girl's soft skin; even as she felt the powerful muscles beneath it flex as they both rose up. Shizuru was standing, holding Natsuki up by her thighs which immediately wrapped around her waist.

It didn't take long to make it upstairs and onto Shizuru's bed, but that had been the last of their initial lustful rush. The room was set to a dim light, just enough to see the shadows of their bodies' contours and calm them. What had been a death grip on each other's flesh softened to actually take time exploring parts of their physique which they never had before. Their kiss was deep, but they were relaxed enough to breathe through it all now.

"I love you…" it was a soft whisper now, emanating from Shizuru who kissed her way down Natsuki's stomach.

She wouldn't think, she wouldn't wait or hesitate, but she was considerate in her pace when tugging the girl's jeans down her legs. At first Natsuki shivered from the sudden cold, but was soon warmed by the touch of Shizuru's hands. The emerald eyes shut gently, taking in every second of attention she was receiving. She was practically embraced by the kneeling Shizuru, whose head was rested just at the very top of her leg.

_Her scent…_

It was the most coherent thought the elder of the two could muster as her hand now moved to the inside of Natsuki's thigh. She knew what was there, her senses told her so; and she wanted nothing more than to taste this girl for the first time. Her fingers delicately traced along the surface of the damp fabric, causing the girl beneath it to shiver lightly and grip tighter to Shizuru's shoulders.

Natsuki was simply allowing herself to enjoy this attention. As she had been lately, she was letting down her walls more and more around Shizuru. She couldn't help it. She felt the last bit of cloth slide down her legs, the initial cold soon being smothered by the heat of the touch on her hips. Hot-cold-hot-cold, her body couldn't make up its mind, and for some unfathomable reason she was very much enjoying it. The way Shizuru's hands rubbed into her muscles was only feeding the fire; which was only kept in control by the chills sent down her spine whenever she was nipped or licked.

She didn't need to have ever experienced this before to know where Shizuru was moving next, instinctively she knew it was right to feel the elder girl's lips gently graze over her flesh to where her fingers were already teasing her. The only surprise was how much different – and better – it felt to have those fingers replaced by a tongue. Natsuki's knees buckled against her will and she fell back into the mess of sheets, tangling her arms into them and gripping to anything she could get her hands on to brace against her own writhing.

Shizuru was all but driven insane by the overload on her senses. Even with her eyes closed she could so vividly imagine the expressions the girl was making as she continued her strokes. Driven by her love alone, she savoured every bit of Natsuki; from the sweet taste to the harmony of whimpers and moans, everything was unlike she had imagined.

_This is the Natsuki that no one sees… except for me…_

The calves which wrapped themselves around her shoulder blades pulled her closer, and it was clear Natsuki was moving in time to the thrust and curl of Shizuru's fingers. The latter chuckled with pride at the obvious pleasure she was giving to the girl. The muffled squeaks implied she was trying to hide it, but Shizuru knew better, she could feel it after all. The squeaks turned to grunts, and from there to some mixture of snarls and deep growls, all for one last moment of climax. Her back arched, inescapably pushing her even more into the sensations causing it.

Shizuru stilled herself, letting Natsuki take a moment to catch her breath and rest her tired legs on her shoulders while she cleaned what was left behind. Once the vice on her torso relaxed she was able to stand slowly, taking full advantage of Natsuki's exhausted euphoric stare to remove what was left of her clothing at a sensual pace with the gaze to match.

Emerald eyes watched, albeit blearily at the way the shadows hugged the athletic girl's form. She had held her, fought her, and yet still, the sight before her was unbelievable. And those eyes; those crimson pools of love that saw right through her, always. Natsuki never felt more exposed than she did in that moment, but when Shizuru lowered her body onto her own, bringing them together in a kiss, fear was the last thing on her mind.

In fact, she felt an overwhelming desire to turn the tables. The younger girl smirked into the kiss and took hold of Shizuru's wrists, twisting her torso and flipping their positions. Her hair fell to the sides of both faces, creating a midnight toned curtain to focus their stares on one another. Natsuki held the girl down, giggling at the mild surprise being expressed. During the switch, she had laid herself between Shizuru's legs, pressing ever so slightly – rhythmically – while her arms kept her upper body high above the other. She continued, waiting until she saw scarlet eyes flutter closed in euphoric relaxation before she would carry on with what she really wanted.

Her desire could only remain "playful" for so long. It was driving her mad. What she had just been made to feel, she would never know how she looked when she felt it; but she would definitely bring Shizuru to that point. There was a longing hidden beneath Natsuki's clouded thoughts: to bring the one she loved to that same brink of pure emotion.

Shizuru laid on her back, swaying her hips in time with Natsuki's movements and relishing in the flavour left on her tongue. She hadn't even noticed the loosened grip on her wrists until she felt a palm press hard between her thighs. A gasp escaped her lips and her eyes widened, blinking for a second or two at the unexpected proximity of Natsuki's face. The pressure didn't easy up, and given their positioning, there was little more Shizuru could do but squirm beneath the jade gaze. Even as Natsuki placated her by moving her hand ever so slightly, the most Shizuru could move was by way of reaching up around the back of the girl's shoulders.

Before she knew it, she was pulled closer – hips and back angled up a bit – and was captured in another kiss. It was so hungry, so deep and consuming – so fitting a compliment to the digits being thrust into her. Shizuru's nails clawed into Natsuki's skin, but the pair remained locked with their tongues and purred into each other. The latter's fingers remained still for a moment, at least until the scraping against her back subsided, before she attempted to mimic the curling motion she had enjoyed earlier.

The response was certainly positive, but had also reached a plateau after a short while. Natsuki wanted to see the pleasure rise beyond control, anything less would not satisfy her craving to express her love.

"Ahh," Natsuki heard a whisper, "Go faster…"

She grinned and heeded the guidance, flicking her fingers once more before returning to sliding them in and out. The girl would also grind her hips forward unconsciously in time with her hand, carnal love pushing her motions forward. Their chests heaved against each other as breaths were drawn short and deep, with Natsuki's kisses having changed to nibbles along the porcelain jawline. Moans had turned to grunts and snarls – loud enough to cover the sound of the bed screeching against the floor in time with each thrust.

"Natsuki," the throaty whisper was accompanied by two hands reaching for the girl's face, cupping her cheeks and bringing the green eyes back into view.

"I love you," was the only reply, husky and growled – cut off only by the near-shout from the chestnut-haired beauty writhing below her.

Natsuki could feel the convulsions tug at her fingers, begging her to go deeper while she continued thrusting. Her face was buried in Shizuru's arched neck, licking softly at the heated flesh until a shared exhaustion was reached. Both girls stilled their bodies, save for what was needed to catch their breath, and soon enough Natsuki found herself sliding off to the side to rest on the mattress rather than her drained girlfriend.

The couple lay side by side now, peacefully gazing upon each other with adoring smiles. The blood was beginning to flow back to their heads, and the conscious realization of what they had just shared was surfacing. Shizuru was the first to smile wider, unable to hide her happiness with how far they had come. The stubborn, bitter Natsuki she had met ended up blossoming into this truly wonderful person: the person she'd sworn she could see from the moment they met.

_You…_

She placed a hand at the back of the girl's neck, pulling them close enough for their foreheads to touch.

_You're the one I've dreamed of marrying._

It may have felt like forever, but doubt had rarely been true in Shizuru's heart. She knew what she saw in Natsuki; even after she stormed out of their meeting, even after a month of silence… she knew this girl was hers.

_The one I saw underneath your cold exterior…_

She chuckled as the covers were pulled over them and they slid closer into a warm embrace.

_My beautiful Ice Princess._

They continued to lay still together, simply enjoying the silence and sensations of their skin against the fabric as well as each other. Natsuki was even beginning to doze a little, surrounded by utmost comfort here. A thought struck her then: she was so comfortable _here_. In Shizuru's arms, on her bed, everything about this moment was comfortable. All she could do was smile and bring their laced hands up to kiss the back of Shizuru's palm.

"I think…" she smiled softly at the curious crimson look, "It's time I move into this room."


	18. All Again For You

**XVIII – All Again For You**

A gentle melody played through the house on the mountainside. The leaves on the trees rustled in the wind, bright green and casting dancing shadows over the hardwood floors. With a smile on her face, Natsuki swayed back and forth, instrument in hand and performing a soft, but upbeat tune. Her feet stepped in time with her music, contently using her skilled footwork to move her way through the rooms and in view of the front porch.

Shizuru merely chuckled at what she caught in her periphery. She always loved whenever Natsuki put on a show for her, even if it distracted her from trying to get their garden set up for spring. Her hands digging into the earth of their potted plants did little to divert her attention from the girl doing a few quick hops along with the strokes of her bow. She couldn't help but adore the way Natsuki was looking at her, so innocently happy.

_Spring isn't so bad either… Certainly not for these beautiful flowers._

The elder girl giggled and placed the plant down on the wooden railing before moving onto the next. No one could have asked for a more perfect morning. That was, until the song came to a sudden halt.

"Natsuki?"

Shizuru turned around and looked over at the navy-haired girl with a confused expression, not paying attention to the sound of tires coming up the driveway.

"Are those your parents?"

"Eh?" ruby eyes turned to where jade ones were staring.

"I suppose it is. I wonder what it could be?"

Natsuki dropped her arms to the side and backed away slowly.

"I'll just wait inside."

"Why?" the girl tilted her head, but saw how nervous the other was.

"Are you still worried about how they see you? Things have changed a lot since then," she raised a finger to her chin and looked up in thought, "Have they even seen you since we got together?"

"No… I dunno… I just- I feel awkward," Natsuki looked over with pleading eyes, "Can I wait inside?"

Shizuru gave her a lopsided smile and nodded. She couldn't relate to the fears of the other girl, but assumed her shyness had become overwhelming now that they were dating. Nevertheless, she had just made it in time for Shizuru's parents to not even notice she left before they exited their car.

"Hello!" they both greeted with smiles.

"Hello Father, Mother," Shizuru returned the expression and put her gardening aside, "What brings you here today?"

"We just wanted to check up on you," the woman spoke, "How are things?"

The girl hadn't noticed just how red her face was becoming.

"Oh, everything has been just lovely, thank you."

"Where is Kuga-san?" her father asked, strong in tone, but not in heart.

"She's inside, training most likely. Only a few months before we get back-" Shizuru paused, suddenly remembering their situation, "Right… back to work. After…"

She trailed off with a sigh, but quickly turned back to her parents with a willful glint in her eyes.

"So, just coming to check up on us?"

"And," and there it was, "To bring you these."

The woman pulled two small boxes out from her purse and handed them to her daughter.

"These are…" Shizuru took them delicately while glancing to her father who spoke next.

"Your rings. We'd like it if you would both wear them from now on. With only a month to the wedding, it's only appropriate that you look the part for any photos or if anyone from the dojos see you in public."

"Right…"

"Why do you seem upset, dear?" her mother reached out, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder as she took a deep breath, still holding tight to the boxes.

"It's nothing, really, I'm fine. We're fine. Thank you for bringing the rings, we'll make sure to wear them."

A cold fear had struck through her heart.

_Natsuki…_

"Very well, if you need us, just let us know," the man waved over his shoulder while turning back to the car, followed by his wife.

Shizuru continued to stare silently as they drove away, looking out into the distant woods. She wanted so badly to run deep into them and pretend these rings didn't exist. Sadly, right on cue, Natsuki came out of hiding and approached her clearly-depressed girlfriend from behind with an embrace.

"That was quick," she noted, resting her chin on the girl's shoulder and looking down at what she was holding.

"What're those?"

"They're…" Shizuru took a deep breath, "They're our rings. My parents would like it if we wore them from now on, at least in public."

"Oh…"

-0-

_I guess we got a bit sidetracked… I mean, it's not like I ever really forgot but…_

Natsuki was lying on the sofa, one arm rested behind her head, the other lifted up so she could continue staring at the ring she had been avoiding wearing for a week now. The day the couple had received them was spent by both trying to dodge the subject as often as they could, and from then on the two boxes had been left on the dresser in Shizuru's – well, now their shared – bedroom. It was only now, when the latter was out with her friends that the younger girl had ventured a test run of the jewelry.

"I wonder…" she muttered aloud, "What's going to happen to us now?"

She sighed and let the limb fall over her abdomen. No matter how she looked at it, it seemed things would change. Her initial feelings about marriage – even when keeping the arrangement separate from her actual relationship – had always remained the same.

_Whether I love her or not… whether we're friends or not… I'm going to be her wife. That was my mother's wish, and I intend to see it through. But now…_

Natsuki rolled onto her side, an exhausted groan falling out of her mouth as her hand dragged along the floor. Her thoughts roamed so many places that afternoon, but right now they were wondering why she even put the ring on in the first place. Even Shizuru hadn't touched hers, seeming even more frightened of the idea than Natsuki. That was something to think about all on its own, but her messy stream of consciousness was about to be interrupted.

The girl flicked her head towards the knocking at the door and took a glance out the front window to see who it was. While she couldn't see the person, she recognized the car and gave a soft chuckle.

"Hey guys," Natsuki smiled at the two redheads, even going so far as to give them a hug, "It's been a while."

"You've been so busy!" Mai replied with mock annoyance.

"Seriously," Nao added, "Can't you take your hand out of the poor girl's pants for two minutes just to give us a phone call?"

Natsuki flushed red.

"I- That's not why! We-" she cut herself off with a huff, "None of your business!"

"So defensive! Almost like you're hiding something, Kuga."

"Ugh… just get inside."

The moment the navy-haired girl reached over to pull the more obnoxious of the two inside, Mai's eyes caught sight of the shiny new addition to her friend's hand. She blinked momentarily but quickly followed inside. Of course she knew what it was, and why it was there, but why Natsuki was voluntarily wearing it? She had no idea. She decided to stay quiet for now and instead wait for the girl to bring it up on her own, so long as Nao didn't notice and make a big deal.

"So, what brings you two here for a visit?" Natsuki had already dropped Nao over the back of the couch and was moving into the kitchen to prepare some food.

"We missed you, obviously," the girl sat up, legs over the armrest and adjusting her twisted shirt.

"I'm sorry, I missed you guys too, things have just been pretty hectic around here lately."

Nao gave a quiet huff. She was fully aware of the situation but had since been forbidden by Mai to give an opinion either way until Natsuki gave hers; and then to support her no matter what.

"I'll be a better friend after the wedding."

Both guests' eyes widened with surprise at the girl's casual tone. It was as if she was completely intellectualizing the situation they were in, although it was more of a front than anything. And one that Mai could see through, at that.

"About that…"

Natsuki chuckled as she pulled a bowl down from the shelf.

"Mai, you're always looking out for other people, don't think I didn't see you notice the ring."

"The what?!" Nao jumped over the edge of the furniture, earning a strange glance from the other two.

"Why are you so surprised? I mean, we've all known I was getting married for a few years now."

"I guess… it's just surprising to see you so calm about it?" Mai offered.

"Yeah, I mean, I know you two are happy together now but eight months ago you didn't even want to meet her."

"I was an idiot then," Natsuki finished tossing the vegetables into their salad, "I'm not saying I wasn't a bit justified to be an idiot, but still. Things have changed a lot since then. We're fine."

Somehow, she seemed more apathetic than anything.

"Yes, it's a little weird emotionally but… I don't know. In the end, this was just an arrangement from the start."

If anything was the signal to stop asking, it was that, and her friends abided. No doubt this would be a difficult time for the girl, and right now she was concentrating on trying not to snap at two people she cared for the most.

_In three weeks, my life is gonna change._

Natsuki had been repeating that to herself since the visit from Shizuru's parents. She had no idea how this change would really affect her, and out of fear of it being a drastic change; she played the part of believing it would be nothing. However, every day with a distant and fearful Shizuru was taking its toll.

"I wish she didn't feel like she had to hide still…"

-0-

"So, why _are_ you hiding?" Reito sipped his tea across the table from his chestnut-haired friend who was gloomily staring at her own drink.

"Because," Shizuru took a breath, "Natsuki's feelings about marrying me still haven't changed. And I don't want to pressure her and scare her away."

"Do you really think she would? Her love for you is genuine…"

"It is, I know that, but it's still such an important commitment. We agreed to keep the arrangement separate from us, and now getting married for real seems to be putting a stop to that. I'm worried it will make her pull away."

The young man nodded, taking a deep inhale of the café's earthy scent.

"And besides," the girl continued, "_My_ feelings have changed."

"Oh?"

"I love Natsuki with all my heart. I felt that way before we met, and it's the same today. But knowing that she has only recently begun loving me… How is it fair that she's forced to be in this situation?"

"She knew what she was getting into when she agreed to this. Like you said, her feelings haven't changed. She will still marry you."

"Because it was asked of her. Not because she loves me, even though she does love me now," Shizuru sighed, "I can't imagine what this is putting her through…"

She felt a hand rest on her shoulder and refocused her eyes on the golden ones ahead of her.

"You're overthinking this. Give her some time to adjust, but you should be there with her."

"I'm not sure I'm the one Natsuki-"

"Trust me," he shone a smile worthy of the request, "Who better than you to go through this with her?"

Finally, Shizuru managed to express some positivity. He was right. After all, Natsuki loved her; of course she would want her by her side even if it meant some awkward conversation. They deserved better than that after how far they had come. The girl nodded to herself, surely talking to Natsuki would help ease both of their concerns.

"Ah, there you are!" Reito turned to the sound of the jingling as the café door opened.

Shizuru turned to see her two other friends come in, only a little bit later than expected. Not that it mattered, her talk with Reito was one that was probably better off without his wife's harsher opinions.

"So, how did it go?" he moved over by one seat to accommodate them, while giving the blonde a casual greeting kiss.

"My parents weren't happy," Yukino answered with a hint of sadness, only to be followed by a grateful smile, "But I had help."

"Hmph, all I wanted was for you to tell them where you were so that no one would have to worry," Haruka sat down, arms crossed over her chest.

"Oh? So you're saying you didn't sympathize with them at all?" the brunette tilted her head curiously, surprised when both of her shoulders were grabbed.

"Yukino, I know I haven't shown it… at all, you know how I am when it comes to these things but really, I'm proud of you."

Shizuru and Reito sat in silence, watching the moment play out; the former taking their emotions just a little closer to heart.

"Proud? But… why?"

"Because," Haruka chuckled, "You finally stood up for yourself!"

The brunette blinked, eliciting a mousy gasp at the earnest violet eyes staring at her.

"You did what you wanted to do, no matter what your parents thought, or what I thought. And that makes me happier than seeing you do something just because of my feelings."

"Haruka…"

"Yukino, you have to do what you think is right, and by leaving your family, you did just that."

There wasn't a moment to spare before the blonde turned to Shizuru, the same fire in her eyes now directed at her.

"And the same goes for you!"

"Ara?"

"Listen close, because I'm never going to say this again: You're the smartest person I know. If anyone knows the right way to handle this whole thing you've got going, it's you. So don't stress over it, because you already know what to do, just do it."

"Follow your heart?" Reito offered in addition.

"Yes, exactly," Haruka huffed and leaned back in her chair, "Now, if we're all done with our sappy feelings can we eat? I'm starving!"

-0-

Shizuru stared out the window, watching the rain drip down the side of the glass as the car moved through the streets and then up to her house. Reito and Haruka had kindly offered to drive her home, and given the weather she certainly would rather go with them than walk in the rain. That said, she had spent most of the time in silence, contemplating the advice she had been given.

_Do the right thing… Talk to Natsuki. That's definitely the right thing._

A few pleasantries and goodbyes later, the girl was walking back into her home.

"I'm back!" she called while removing her shoes.

"Did you have fun?" Natsuki replied from the kitchen, taking a moment away from her task to meet her girlfriend face to face.

"Mm, it was good to see them again after so long. I hadn't realized how much I missed them."

"I know the feeling," the younger girl smiled, "Mai and Nao just left. Yukino must've told her that you guys were meeting so they decided to surprise me. It was really great to see them again… especially now."

Shizuru nodded and leaned against the wall of the foyer, arms folded over her stomach.

"I'm sorry…"

"Eh? What for?" Natsuki asked, genuinely curious.

_Heh… what for indeed…_

"If I've been acting strange the past week. I just… didn't know how you were feeling, and instead of asking, I assumed the worst and ran from it. I should trust you more."

Before she knew it, arms wrapped around her waist and her lips were caught in a kiss. The girl sighed deeply into it comfortably, even when Natsuki pulled away for breath and a chance to speak.

"You should," she teased, "I'm not going anywhere."

Shizuru hadn't said a word, only tightened her hold when Natsuki attempted to take a step back. She didn't want this moment to end. Housework could wait; right now all she wanted was to feel this girl in her arms.

"Really, I'm not," Natsuki said softly, now lifting her arms up around Shizuru's neck.

"I know," the latter did her best to change the tone, "You're just so very huggable."

"Bah!" the blushing Natsuki shoved the girl aside, who was now happily laughing at their antics again.

"Come help me clean the kitchen," she waved her forward, inadvertently exposing the ring on her finger.

Shizuru blinked and quickly followed Natsuki to the next room. She rested a hand on the wall to keep herself from leaning too far forward, but was frankly surprised to see it.

"Natsuki, you're wearing the ring?"

"Oh," the girl stopped before putting the bulk of the dishes into the sink, "Yeah. I mean, your parents wanted us too, right?"

_That's why…_

"Mm, they did."

"And well… even if we agreed to put it out of our minds, it's kind of hard now. We're going to be married in a few weeks, might as well look the part right?"

_Right…_

Shizuru leaned her forearms down onto the island counter and slid herself onto a stool.

"Right," she finally answered shortly, unsure of exactly what to express right now.

Should she be happy or sad? This had honestly thrown them both for a loop, and the fact that Natsuki was apparently handling it better was giving Shizuru pause. It didn't seem right in her mind. She still remembered the girl who signed those papers, the girl who ignored her… even the girl who was her friend.

_It's looking the part. Natsuki always said that she would be a wife to me, she was so certain, so firm. But that determination came from her honour… the desire to uphold her promise to her mother. She may not be as angry as before, but deep down, that's her reason for looking the part._

Shizuru's swirling thoughts were cut short by a hand taking hers.

"Are you alright?" Natsuki lowered her head, peering into the crimson pools.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" she attempted to lie.

"Because of this whole situation. You have to admit we've been avoiding it pretty solidly until now, I don't think we can anymore."

"You're right…" Shizuru sighed, "So, are you alright?"

Natsuki leaned back against the far counter, arms folded over her chest.

"Sort of… I'm mostly concerned about you, about us. I liked how it's been up until now. But I guess," a smile graced her features, recalling the first time she said this, "If I had to go through this with anyone, I'm glad it's you."

Smile or no smile, that phrase cut straight through the older girl, who couldn't refrain from a playfully terse retort.

"_Had to go through it?_" she quoted sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean," Natsuki huffed out a laugh, unaware.

_I wish I did…_

-0-

Less than twenty-four hours until the wedding and the pair of brides were being run around by an array of different planners. Everything had been kept out of their hair thus far, at Shizuru's request in order to build her relationship with Natsuki, but now the finishing details required their input. For now, the latter was sprawled out on the couch, taking a much needed rest from the phone calls.

_Damn it… Where is Shizuru? I don't know anything about weddings. Besides, she's probably had this thing planned in her mind forever; she should be the one making the decisions._

The girl could not express how little she cared what the flowers were, or who sat where, or what music was played.

_I just want Shizuru to be happy…_

She smiled through her exhaustion.

_She's been waiting for this day for years; I don't want to screw it up. Everything has to be perfect!_

Natsuki rolled over and grumbled.

_Too bad I have no idea how to plan a wedding._

Just as the sigh fell from her mouth, the front door rattled open slowly and heavily, much like the one opening it. Natsuki looked up to see Shizuru nudging the door open with her shoulder while carrying two large boxes stacked on each other.

"Let me help you!" the navy-haired girl practically vaulted over the back of the furniture to rush to her girlfriend.

"Thank you…" Shizuru took a breath.

"What are these? Why weren't they delivered like everything else?" she asked with candid interest.

There was a natural silence that followed the question as Natsuki brought the boxes over to the dining room table and Shizuru removed her shoes and collected herself.

"They're our dresses. I wanted to pick them up myself to make sure everything was right with the design."

"Do I-"

"Yes, you have to wear a dress," Shizuru chuckled, wrapping her arms around the pouting Natsuki and kissing her on the ear.

"That wasn't what I was going to ask! Why would you just assume that I wouldn't want to wear a dress?"

"Hmm… because I know you?" she laughed again, nuzzling her head into the girl's midnight locks.

"Fine…"

"It's a wedding, Natsuki. And besides, I'm sure a dress would suit you quite nicely," she was practically purring into the girl's ear.

"Y-you don't know that!" Natsuki could feel her body heating up, especially as the hold moved from her waist to her hips.

"True, but I can imagine," there were some nips over the back of the girl's neck.

"Ah! What's gotten into you today?" Natsuki giggled and raised one arm up over her shoulder to caress the girl's cheek.

"I spent all day looking at dresses and thinking about how much I look forward to seeing you in it. Can you blame me?"

Despite her grin of embarrassment and much physical distraction, Natsuki couldn't help but feel that wasn't the answer to her question. Shizuru's mood had been all over the place since it hit them that this wedding was real. It was almost like she was panicking, but for what?

_I can't put my finger on it,_ she thought between kisses after she had turned to face the other girl, _but she seems almost… sad about this?_

"Mm, wait," Natsuki muttered when she took a breath.

They had now fallen back onto the couch and were kissing rather passionately. That was, until the girl on the bottom raised both hands to Shizuru's shoulders to hold her at a distance.

"I think we should wait."

"Oh?" chestnut bangs swayed with the tilted head.

"Not that I don't want to," Natsuki couldn't help but audibly gulp down her frustration, "I mean, I really _really_ want to."

She felt a thigh press between her legs, accompanied by a teasing smile above.

"But we'll have a honeymoon tomorrow," the pressure eased, "And I just want you to be happy, I want it to be what you imagined."

"Does Natsuki think I will grow bored with her?" Shizuru leaned in closer.

"O-of course not! But you know what I mean!"

Natsuki felt the warmth of her girlfriend's forehead against her own, and the weight of her body relaxing on top of hers. With a kind smile, she wrapped her arms up around Shizuru's shoulders.

"Very well," the latter spoke with ease, combing her fingers through the long strands of hair next to her.

After one of many recent days that had been full of noise and rushed decisions, it was nice to finally take a breath like this. All of time seemed to slow. They didn't need to speak to know what was going through each of their minds. They may have been different takes on the situation, but one thing was certain.

_Our lives won't be the same after tomorrow._

The couple continued to lay there, wrapped tight in each other's arms, reminiscing over the past nine months. It was time for that fated moment. They could hear the clock ticking away the seconds, but it felt as though the climax of their stress had passed. The final touches of the ceremony for tomorrow had been taken care of. They had everything the needed except a good night sleep.

Natsuki's breathing began to slow as she cuddled closer to Shizuru, who was still wide awake. Her stare was focused on the plain colour of the sofa cushion as she pulled the girl closer out of habit. She wouldn't wake her, but her fingers were nearly digging into the girl's back with every second that passed. Crimson eyes clenched shut.

_I can't!_

A tear rolled down Shizuru's cheek as she brought her shaking lips to Natsuki's while sliding away from her quietly.

"I love you," she whispered, a mirthless smile gracing her features.

"That's why…" she stood up, letting the hand slide from hers.

"…I can't make you do this."


	19. Stand Up and Run

**XIX – Stand Up and Run**

"What? I don't even- Who are you?" Natsuki spoke quickly into the phone, frantically running from one end of the house to another.

It was the morning of her wedding and Shizuru was nowhere to be found. Apparently the tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding still counted in their arrangement. But here she was attempting to handle everything to such an extent that she hadn't even gotten dressed yet. Luckily, the ceremony was to take place at a plateau on the same mountainside their land was plotted on. She wouldn't have to go far at least, but this was getting to be too much.

"Need some help?" the familiar voice was accompanied by a light knocking on the frame of the open door.

"Mai!" Natsuki shouted, pressing the phone to her chest to muffle it and running over to her friend.

"I have no idea what I'm doing. I thought I just had to show up and now people are asking me for what I want! I have no idea!"

"Okay, calm down, let me handle this," the redhead took the phone and ended it with a few short words.

"How did you do that?"

"Hehe, that wasn't me. Wrong number."

"Oh," the girl shoved a palm to her face, "I seriously just want this day to be over."

Mai gave a lopsided smile, mostly sure that the comment had come from stress and not much else. She pulled her friend into a hug.

"I need Shizuru… or at least I need these people asking her opinion. They're all treating me like-"

"Like you're an equal part of this wedding?"

Natsuki pulled back, staring at the girl's violet eyes incredulously.

"I guess… I just always felt that this was Shizuru's wedding, and I was just a part of it…"

She sat down on the piano bench, staring at the floor while her friend gently patted her back.

"I'm really lost without her, Mai. This whole thing is so much and… I want her to love it."

"So go find her!"

"Huh?" Natsuki glanced toward the smirk.

"Come on, do you really think she would care in the slightest about tradition if it was making you this stressed? Go get her! I'll handle anyone who tries to get to you."

"Heh, you're right. She'd do anything for me… no matter who – or what – was in the way. She's always bent over backwards to make sure I was happy."

"And today's no different! Go see her, Natsuki."

With a quick nod and a smile, the girl darted up the stairs and down the hall to their bedroom. But it was so quiet. Maybe it was just because everything felt so hectic down there, and all Shizuru was doing was putting on a dress.

_I bet she looks amazing…_

Natsuki blushed and covered her eyes.

_At least I can keep the tradition of not seeing her, even if I'm talking to her._

She gave a few casual knocks on the door and called out the girl's name. Oddly enough, there was no reply.

"Shizuru? You're taking this a bit too seriously," she laughed to herself, in part to ease her growing concerns.

"Hey… Shizuru? Umm… I'm coming in, okay?"

While her vision was shielded for a few seconds, it was apparent that there was no one in here. Natsuki quickly scanned the room for her fiancée but all that caught her eye was the gentle breeze blowing through their bedroom window.

"Why would she leave the-" her voice stopped, frozen as emerald eyes followed the drifting curtains down to the desk.

They open window, the breeze, it was all to direct the girl's attention to the papers left behind. Natsuki's delicate fingers trembled as they lingered over the torn edges. Her jaw was tight, as was her other fist.

"… Damn it," she cursed aloud, glaring furiously at the ripped marriage contract.

Her stare then fell on a scribbled note attached to the rest of the documents. This one was small and handwritten, words that would sting the girl's heart beyond all imagination.

"_You deserve to have a choice."_

Teeth grit together and eyes shut tight, forcing back the tears and leaving the note to be crumpled in her fist.

"Shizuru… you idiot…"

Natsuki stared down at the papers in her hand, fist clenching around the torn edges. Her teeth grit together as she stood there, alone, reading the words of and over.

_You… You…_

"Why!"

Her life flashed before her eyes, she saw everything from memories of her mother, to fighting, to music, to Shizuru. That was her life. The girl sank down into the wooden desk chair, emerald eyes burning a hole in the words that simply would not disappear. Sweat bled into the ink, and shivers were fumbling around her entire body. Her heart was trying to break her.

_No…_

Her mind wouldn't – couldn't – stand for it.

_After all we've been through, after everything… I'm not letting it end like this!_

A fierce inhale pierced Natsuki's lungs as she stood, her gaze finally prying from the note down to the view of the city beyond the bedroom window. The breeze continued to play with her hair, oblivious to the tension in her muscles. Anger breached the surface of the girl's thoughts, if only briefly.

"How could you do this? Why did you…?" she glanced down one last time, scanning the entirety of the abandoned contract.

"I deserve a choice…" she mused aloud, reading over the original marriage contract one last time before a smirk rose above her grimace.

"Damn right I do!"

Just at that very moment, Mai appeared in the doorway. The curious redhead was worried about what was taking so long, after all, there was a wedding being prepared. The backdrop was just too ironic for Natsuki, who raised a palm to her face, ruffling some hair, as her friend entered cautiously.

"She's gone."

"What?" Mai stopped in her tracks.

"Of all the times for her to freak out, it's now! This is the day she's been-"

A forceful impact, aimed for Natsuki's face, was blocked by her raised arm. If she hadn't been a trained fighter, Mai's slap would have connected quite painfully.

"What's that for?"

"Because you keep saying stuff like that! And now that Shizuru-san is gone, you should know!"

"Should know what?"

Mai stared deep into her friend's eyes, if the girl could ever look menacing, now was the closest she would be. She had taken care of Natsuki for years, befriended her in her darkest time and would always remain loyal. And as a loyal friend, it would occasionally come down to telling the harsh truth.

"You still act like this is one-sided!" without hesitation, the redhead grabbed the handwritten note and read it to herself.

"What do you mean? We've been together for months now, she knows I love her!"

"But she doesn't know you want to marry her!" Mai shoved the note back to her friend.

"How often have you said things like 'this is her day' or 'this is what she's been waiting for'?"

Natsuki stood there, stunned silent as her friend spoke nothing more than the simple truth.

"You've played the role of a fiancée by helping out with what was left of the plans, but the last she heard on the subject was that you would do anything to be the perfect wife no matter what. She loves you too much to force that responsibility on you!"

"But… it's not…" Natsuki whispered.

"It's not what?"

"It's not a responsibility…" the girl's limbs had since fallen to her side, lax once more, "It is, but… not one that I don't want."

Natsuki slid her feet across the carpet and sat down on the soft mattress. Her eyes had turned soft, staring at her reflection the wardrobe mirror. She paid no mind to the sight of Mai calmly sitting next to her, her thoughts on only one thing.

"I'm sorry, but you had to hear that."

"I did…" Natsuki head fell limp between her shoulders, "You know, I've never called it 'our day' or 'our wedding'? Always 'her's' or 'the'… I'm such an idiot. Of course that's what she thinks."

"Shizuru-san's come to learn what a loyal person you are. And we all appreciate that, really, we do. But there's a downside to that loyalty of yours."

"Which is?"

"It's hard to tell when you're sincere," Mai offered a smile, "You'll always do what you think is right. You act on logic, not emotion. You have more honour than anyone I know. I don't think there's a single person coming to this wedding who doesn't think you'll be an amazing wife; but only a few of them care about why."

"I have to find her!" Natsuki exclaimed, in slight disbelief for a moment – as if it had only just occurred to her that she would actually have to go out and get her bride-to-be.

"Huh?" Mai angled her head accordingly, "That's another thing entirely! She could be anywhere by now!"

"Well I have to try!" Natsuki was already dashing towards the door, her friend following suit.

"Look, Mai, try to stall everyone for a while. I'll be back as soon as I can!"

Just as Natsuki reached the stairs at the end of the hall, a thought sparked in her head. Mid-explanation, she rushed back into the bedroom, if only for a second before running back out and holding up the torn papers for Mai to see.

"I'm going to need these," she grinned, hurrying down the steps and grabbing her leather jacket and helmet from the hooks by the front door.

"Wait! Where are you even going? What do you want me to tell people?!" Mai shouted at her friend, who had already made it off the porch and under the tent where she kept her bike.

"Just think of something!" the engine roared, "You're the smart one, Mai! Come up with anything!"

"But I don't even know-" her sentence was cut off by some quiet choking on the dust left in the girl's wake, "-These people…"

Mai sighed at the sight of navy-hair flowing in the wind, disappearing quickly into the trees and down the pathway. Her exasperation, while a legitimate concern, was still overpowered by her smile. Natsuki was always one that needed to be pushed into action, at least whenever emotions were concerned. She looked to the sky. The sun loomed over her, apparent that the mid-afternoon ceremony that was planned would not be happening on time.

_Sunset! If I can get them to push it until then, that will buy some time without questions!_

The girl grumbled.

_Assuming all these stuffy old business people listen to me._

-0-

_Where… Where…?_

Natsuki's brow tensed as her eyes panned the road ahead. No matter where she looked, everyone seemed to remind her of Shizuru. She wanted nothing more than to see her, to find her; the girl was blinded by her determination. The bike skid around another corner as Natsuki followed-

_I don't even know where I'm going! How am I going to find her?_

Natsuki continued down the street, weaving seamlessly through the traffic. There was no path, no directions to where she was going; she was steering on intuition alone to find the one she sought. The red light up ahead forced her to slow to a stop, allowing a moment to refocus and catch her breath.

_Where would she go? She's upset… about us…_

The girl gripped tight to the handlebars and scowled to herself, heart pounding inside her chest.

_I know where._

Much to the displeasure of the other drivers around her, Natsuki made a sudden U-turn and raced back the way she had come. There was only one place she could imagine Shizuru being right now: one place that stood out above all the others. The smoothly paved streets quickly turned to battered side roads up the mountainside, twisting and turning between the suburban houses. Spring air filled her lungs, bringing new energy into the girl's body as she rode up to the sidewalk and came to a stop next to a set of concrete steps.

The sun shone brightly, but the wind kept her cool when she removed her helmet and let her midnight locks fall down her back. There was no time to waste in locking up the vehicle and rushing down between the buildings. This hidden, old and abandoned park was definitely the place where she would face her fate. Natsuki smirked at the thought.

_Face my fate, huh? Oh, I'm going to face it alright! She can't just leave like that!_

-0-

In the meantime, Mai was frantically trying to stall the curious guests. The poor girl hadn't the slightest idea who any of these people were, and quite frankly, they were all very intimidating. No one had been particularly angry, but they were all so terse and stiff; not like much of the company she kept.

_If they aren't businesspeople, they're fighters... In Natsuki's world these people are all elites._

She shook her head. Becoming self-conscious would do no good now, it was crunch time. And luckily, Mai's eyes fell on the other redhead of their trio who was approaching casually with her brunette girlfriend on her arm. And following them were Haruka and Reito, hand in hand.

"Nao!" she called, rushing toward their confused faces while trying not to trip over her dress.

"Whoa there," Nao chuckled, holding tight to the girl's shoulder and calm her, "What's going on?"

"Natsuki," she breathed, "She... she..."

"What happened?" the blonde was first to - loudly - ask why this girl was nearly bent over and panting in front of them, "She better not have taken off!"

"Hey!" Nao snapped back, "She's a lot of things, but Kuga's not a coward! She's planned on taking this wedding head on from the start!"

"Well..." Mai was about to begin when the two who had been shouting turned their glares in her direction.

A grimace fell over the green-eyed girl's features. She was in the midst of clenching her fist when Yukino's delicate fingers entwined with hers. Olive irises glanced over, immediately bringing reason back to her girlfriend.

"Let's hear her out, Nao-chan, Haruka. We don't even know what happened yet."

With that, Mai pulled the couples over to the front porch and took advantage of the lull in arrivals to explain the situation is as much detail as she could. Needless to say, the biggest surprise was that it was Shizuru who vanished first. If it had been Natsuki it would make sense, but once Mai clarified just exactly the reasoning behind it, everything clicked.

"Shizuru... I can't believe you took it this far," Reito sighed and leaned back on the wooden railing.

"What do you mean?" his wife eyed him closely, getting a defensive chuckle in response, "This had to do with what you guys were talking about the other day, doesn't it?"

"She came to me for advice," the young man returned to seriousness, "She looked settled after we spoke, but I had no way of knowing it's because she felt leaving was doing the right thing..."

Before a fight could break out, the mousy brunette intervened by speaking her thoughts aloud.

"I hope she finds her..." Yukino muttered with worry before an arm pulled her close.

"Heh, in a way, this just makes me think they're even more perfect for each other," Nao commented, followed by a chuckle.

"How so?" Mai tilted her head, "Not that I disagree but, how does this situation help them?"

"You know Kuga only performs well under pressure. Why else would she be so good as a competitive fighter and a concert musician? Do you think she'll really let Fujino go now that she really has to fight for her?"

-0-

"Shizuru!" Natsuki called, continuing to run along the side path before making an acrobatic vault over the chain link fence.

A soft grunt escaped her lips as she landed in the sand, across the park from the chestnut-haired girl who was, in all honesty, stunned at the arrival. No words were exchanged while Natsuki was still catching her breath; they only stared into each other's eyes.

Shizuru was sitting on a bench, alone, letting the leaves shade her tear-stained expression. Her gaze ahead had been broken out of its trance the moment Natsuki appeared and she was now focused, silently, on the figure across from her. She made no movement until the younger girl started to approach. Initially, she wanted to run again, fearing some sort of retaliation, but the words that came from the girl froze her in place.

"If I could sum up my feelings right now," Natsuki began, her hair dancing across her stern face in the breeze, "It would be: Thank you."

Shizuru stared ahead sadly, listening to the declaration and nodding in response.

"I figured."

"You're right," Natsuki continued to come closer, now reaching into her jacket pocket and pulling out the torn papers.

"I'd been avoiding the topic because you're right: I didn't want to marry you because some papers told me to. This arrangement was a business agreement between your parents and my mother, and when it came right down to it, I couldn't marry someone for a reason like that."

"I understand…"

"My mother had the best intentions with this. I know that, but an arranged marriage is not right for me."

"I know, Natsuki!" Shizuru shut her eyes, shaking as the palm cupped her cheek.

"So thank you, Shizuru, for tearing up these papers. For getting rid of the arrangement..."

"… Ah?" a bloodshot crimson eye peeked out curiously at the girl who was now kneeling before her.

Natsuki crouched below Shizuru's gaze, staring back up at her with a smile. Her hand slid down from the trembling face and now held tightly to the other pair.

"I don't want to marry you out of loyalty to my mother," she crumpled the papers and tossed them away, now clasping tightly to both of Shizuru's hands.

"I want to marry you because I love you."

Red rushed to Shizuru's cheeks, stunned silent and dishevelled from her runaway.

"You wanted me to have a choice, and I choose you. I love you," Natsuki held her smile in place, easing the other into mirroring the expression.

"So Shizuru, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" hardly a breath was left between proposal and response.

Natsuki grinned brightly, practically leaping up to catch the girl in a kiss and allow the arms to envelop her. Even she couldn't keep from crying tears of joy now that, after all this time, she felt truly united with someone. She held Shizuru's face close as they stood up, letting all emotion flow between them.

"Don't ever leave me like that again!" Natsuki cried between kisses.

"I won't," Shizuru replied, clinging tightly to the girl's back, "Natsuki, I will never leave you."

"Good," Natsuki eased back, smiling wildly and wiping the tears away, "Because we still have a wedding to get to!"

Shizuru blinked in mild surprise. Of course she was aware of that, but knowing that day was today and actually being prepared for it were two different things. She shut her eyes calmly and took a deep breath, pulling Natsuki closer by her waist.

"We do."

-0-

"The ceremony is supposed to start in twenty minutes and they aren't back yet!" Haruka shouted just before her mouth was covered.

"Don't shout, Haruka," Reito urged, "They still have time, and we don't want to concern the guests, especially Shizuru's parents."

"Alright, sorry, sorry. But what are we going to do? What if they don't come?"

"I don't think that'll be a problem," Nao couldn't hold back her grin when she hear the familiar engine in the distance.

She raised a hand over her brow and squinted to make sure she saw correctly.

"Yup, that's two of them-!"

Before she could finish, Mai had already ran out into the driveway, followed closely by the others.

"Sorry we're late!" Natsuki shouted after skidding to a halt in the gravel, her heel planted firmly in the ground.

"You made it!"

Her helmet may have been hiding her smile, but joy was clear in her tone. The girl raised an arm to wave at her friends but it seemed such a simple gesture wouldn't do it. Mai was first to jump them both, not even bothering to hide her tears as she pulled the couple into a big hug. Neither Natsuki nor Shizuru had a second to rest before they were practically pummeled with love from their friends. All of them. What had always been two groups had melded into one for the first time.

_Things sure have changed..._

The pair at the centre of it all thought in unison, trying to hold back their own tears of happiness.

"Hey, I hate to break up this group hug," Nao began with a smirk, knocking Natsuki over the back of the head lightly, "But you two are set to go on any second now!"

"Heh, right," Haruka added, folding her arms over her chest, "We stalled for this long; you two need to get ready!"

Shizuru and Natsuki had since removed their helmets and caught some much needed breaths.

"I have an idea of how to buy time," the latter smirked and turned to Nao, who seemed to know what she was getting at.

"Hmph, how badly do you want it?" her closed eyes still managed to radiate her cocky demeanor.

"Badly," Natsuki stated, deadpan.

"Do I get to say I saved your ass on your wedding day?"

"... Yes," the girl grumbled.

"Then consider it done!"

-0-

Soon after her return, Natsuki found herself standing in the guest room she had been using for the majority of her stay, staring at her reflection. Her day had been anything but what she expected, but somehow now, in the final moments of her preparations, she felt just fine.

"I can't believe it..." she whispered with a smile.

"I'll say," Mai replied with a giggle, stepping forward off the wall.

The redhead picked the bouquet of flowers up from the desk as she approached her friend, gently handing them to her from behind.

"You look stunning, Natsuki."

"You think?" a blush had appeared, emerald eyes staring nervously at the girl staring back at her.

"Definitely," Mai took to watching them both in the mirror as well, nostalgia creeping into her heart.

She stood there, next to her best friend who was - happily - in an elegant, white wedding gown. The sight brought her to tears, memories of practically every moment they spent together flashing before her eyes and sparking what had already been an emotional day. It was the end of an era, so to speak, but Mai was certain that their friendship would only be strengthened by the change.

"... I can't thank you enough," Natsuki said softly, turning her gaze to the violet eyes in the mirror, and then to the girl herself.

"Mai, you've always been there for me," she turned to face her, "You saved me from being consumed by the sadness of my mother's death, you gave me hope and happiness... You were there for me from the moment I got engaged, all the way until now."

"Of course," Mai was trying to hold her tears back with a laugh, "That's what friends are for!"

"Mai," Natsuki kept her delicately serious tone, "Today I'm marrying the person I love. And I know for a fact that I wouldn't be if it weren't for you. You stuck by me and got me to talk to Shizuru when I was a stubborn idiot, you helped me navigate the confusion of my feelings... hell, you even hit me on my wedding day to get me to snap out of it!"

The two shared a laugh and smile before falling to silence. Mai had since gotten choked up by the words that were spoken, and Natsuki was trying her best not to fall into the same state. Instead, all that was left was for her to pull the redhead into a hug.

"Are you ready then," the bride stepped back from her friend, "to walk me down the aisle?"

"Mm!"

And the two smiled brightly at each other.

-0-

"Natsuki-san just left," Reito noted after peeking out into the hallway and then back to his friend.

Shizuru was sitting in a peacefully ladylike manner while Haruka was taking care of the finishing touches of her hair. While Natsuki's attire had been modeled after Western design, she opted for the traditional Japanese clothes for the occasion. She held her bouquet on her lap, eyes closed - if one didn't know any better they'd assume she was sleeping.

"Mmhmm," she hummed in response, "I guess it's time then."

Ruby eyes opened, brimming with a surprisingly new essence.

"What is it?" the young man tilted his head curiously.

"Hm? What?"

"This face, I've never seen it before. What are you feeling?"

Just as slowly as they had opened, Shizuru's eyes closed once more. Although now a soft smile pulled at the edges of her lips. This feeling was not simply happiness, it was calmer than excitement; and what's more, it truly had never been felt before. A moment later, her heart had finally found the word.

"I am... fulfilled."

-0-

The afternoon sun lit the mountainside with a delicate glow, appropriately warming the many faces of those calmly awaiting the beginning of the ceremony. Even these stuffy professionals had their worries and frustrations subdued by the gentle sound of Nao's flute. The girl's music had kept more in their seats than she expected, luckily; the majority of them had bought into the lie that it certainly wasn't an impromptu performance to hide the fact that the two brides had spent the morning either on the run or chasing the other.

_I kinda can't believe it…_

Her smirk did nothing to the tone of her melody.

_That kid's getting married? Just last year we were pulling video game all-nighters on a weekly basis and now…_

Her glance caught onto the dark green eyes which had not left her since the moment she stepped in front of the altar. Nao was too skilled to miss a beat in her music, even if her heart skipped one just now. No doubt things had changed. While she had never been bitter, Nao would have feigned the emotion to cover her concern over what may come of their friendship. But as she listened to the sound of her instrument, and continued to watch the gentle sway of Yukino's hair in the breeze, she had come to an acceptance.

_Yeah… we're all growing up, I guess._

Just as her smile confirmed her true feelings, she saw the familiar face appear at the far end of the aisle. If only for a second, Nao let herself think of just how beautiful her friend looked right then. Not even she would deny that the sight of Natsuki – walking arm in arm with Mai – in a brilliant white dress was stunning. The girl couldn't even hide her grin as she made her way out of view, sitting in the front row alongside Yukino and company.

Barely audible breaths mumbled about the crowd as the Natsuki stood, contently smiling as Mai – reluctantly – let go and joined the others. Her veil, adorned with flowers, hung loosely over her flowing midnight locks. Emerald eyes blissfully closed, soaking in the moment of silence before the music picked up again.

_Shizuru…_

Her smile grew wider, as what her mental imagery had led her to believe was nothing compared to the real thing. Led by Haruka and Reito, the elder bride traveled up to the altar at a peacefully steady pace. Right here, before the biggest moment of her life, she came across the thought of just how thankful she was that her parents allowed for her two friends to be the ones to give her away. After all they had done for her, supporting her even when all seemed lost with Natsuki. Just like Mai, their time of protective friendship was coming to an end.

"You're beautiful…" Natsuki uttered as she took Shizuru by the hand and led her up the small set of stairs; bringing a smile to the other girl's face.

"So are you," she replied, with the slightest inkling of a tease before gazing upon the porcelain skin more seriously, "Are you ready?"

"Of course, Shizuru, I can't imagine anyone who I'd rather spend the rest of my life with."

As if the rest of the wedding weren't unorthodox from the beginning, it appeared Natsuki was stepping into her vow right away.

"I used to think I'd have to be perfect in order to marry anyone – you. In the beginning that was all that was on my mind: how I would live up to your expectations. Or at least, that's what I thought. I'm sure you were expecting someone different, the day we first met, but I don't think I ever told you… that you weren't what I was expecting either."

The auburn head tilted curiously at the truly joyful expression on Natsuki's face.

"You were never threatening, or forceful, or demanding of me. You let me sulk for a whole month instead of playing the tradition card and making me start being a good fiancée from the beginning."

Shizuru was about to speak, but was paused.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to apologize anymore. What's done is done, but I wanted to tell you that learning firsthand how much you care for me… I didn't even know such a happy feeling existed. You'll always be there for me, you always have been, and I promise that I will do the same for you."

Natsuki took hold of the girl's hands.

"I love you."

Shizuru basked in those words once more; it seemed she could never get enough. She took a deep breath, collecting her overflowing emotions into one gentle squeeze of the hands in hers. Her silence had only been mistaken for faltering for a split second, but when she spoke, it became clear.

"My dearest Natsuki… My most important person…" crimson eyes opened to meet the jade ones, "To pick only a few things to say, it's impossible. The truth is: there is nothing I won't vow. Nothing I would not do for you, no pain I would not endure in your place or happiness I would enjoy without you."

Her grip tightened.

"… You wondered it at some point, didn't you? How I could love you?"

Natsuki blinked in awe, true as it was, the thought had not crossed her mind in months. But now that the question was posed again, it did intrigue her. After all, it was Shizuru's decision to endure all of her childish avoidance, and the pain of unrequited love in their friendship, all of it up until now.

"Without having met you, how did I love you enough to wait for you?"

_Yeah… But… I get it now…_

Her wide eyes and slow gasp said it all, barely caught off guard by the genuinely happy chuckle.

"This is how."

And without further hesitation, Shizuru held Natsuki by the waist and pulled her in for their first kiss as wives.

_**-END-**_

**Final Note:** I want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, and helped me make this story happen. Thank you so much for your incredible patience over the past two years. This story means the world to me, for a lot of reasons, and the fact that it has received so much love and support is amazing. There are no words to describe how much it means to me that you all loved it just as much as I did. This story changed my life. Without this story, I would not be who I am. And to think it was just a twinkle in my eye three and a half years ago.

Thank you all so much! This has been an unbelievable journey and chapter in my life!


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